Hi there. This is my first fic, so please be kind :). I don't own any of the characters, if I did things would be MUCH different. Anyway, I hope you enjoy. Please review! I would love feedback since this is my first.
Much against his will, Bobby knocked on the door to the psychiatrist's office. He really wasn't up for this today. Not because anything bad had happened, just because he still thought these stupid appointments were a waste of both his and the doctor's time.
I bet even after our little "chats" are over with, Dr. Severin will still think I'm crazy, not matter how much she denies it. Even I'm starting to believe it, so why wouldn't she?
He was pulled from his thoughts when the door open and the doctor greeted him.
"Hello, Detective. Come in, please," she said with a slight smile.
"Uh, hello. Uhm thanks," said Bobby awkwardly.
He was like a child in some ways. Despite his great stature, he hardly ever made eye contact, often keeping his head down. When he did make eye contact, it was usually when trying to gain a suspect's trust by making a connection with them. Or with Eames. He could always look Eames in the eyes; they had a deep connection and were able to have full on conversations with just looks.
"...Detective?"
He realized that he had zoned out a little bit and completely missed whatever Dr. Severin had just said.
"I'm sorry, what was that?"
"I said that I would like to talk to you about your partner today. Is that okay with you?"
How weird is that? It's like she knew that my mind wandered off to thinking about Eames just then. I wonder where she's going with this. I don't think I'm ready to talk about Eames just yet. I might as well, though, because she'll just drive me crazy until I spill it anyway.
"Uh, sure, I guess that's okay."
He noticed the doctor had a slight look of triumph come across her face when he agreed to her request. He would've missed it if he wasn't so suspicious of her.
"Good. I asked because I was looking over your file again and I saw some notes your former Captain had made about the time when your partner was kidnapped."
He flinched slightly when she said the word 'kidnapped'. Just that word alone took him back to that awful day. His heart rate was already rising with just that slight mention of what happened to his Eames.
"I read in his notes that you were extremely agitated," she continued.
"Well of course I was agitated! My partner had gone missing and was in the hands of some lunatic. Wouldn't you be a little upset if someone you l... cared about suddenly was taken away from you?"
"Why yes, of course I would. You corected yourself before you said 'cared about'. What were you going to say?"
He shook his head as he looked at the floor and said, "Leave it alone."
"Detective I need you to cooperate with me," she said flatly.
"I said. Leave. It. Alone."
"Why? Is it too hard for you to talk about? That's understandable, but you got her back didn't you? And it's been 4 years..."
After what seemed like hours but what had only been a few moments, he looked up at her. There were tears in his eyes, but none had fallen yet.
"I felt so helpless. Like I had failed her. I'm supposed to be her partner, her support. I'm supposed to have her back and protect her." His voice was hoarse as he spoke.
Finally, the tears began to fall.
"Then when we went to the 1PP garage to go to her car...that was awful. My stomach dropped when I opened the trunk and saw there was a body under the tarp. My knees almost buckled, but I didn't want my captain to see me crumble like that. When I pulled back the tarp and saw it wasn't her, wasn't my Eames, I was so relieved. That made me feel even worse because, I mean, who feels relief when they find a dead, mutilated body like that?"
Dr. Severin stopped him and said,"You can't blame yourself for feeling relief that it wasn't the person you cared about. You said 'my Eames'. Do you think of her as more than a partner?"
Shit! I've never mispoken like that before. Why did that have to come out now, in front of her? She'll never let this die, especially since this is my second slip in one session. Oh God, it's gonna be a long day...
He knew he had to give a straight answer since she asked him up front the way she did.
He sighed and thought, Well, here goes nothing.
"Eames is truly the only person I've ever met who genuinely understands me. Not even my family got me the way she does. It's always been like that for me. I've always been an outcast, a loner, the 'weird guy'. Eames has never treated me that way. She's always been kind and understanding. I love that about her. She's very accepting."
Dr. Severin made some notes as he spoke, which made him a little nervous.
"You're not allowed to tell anyone about this, right? I've never even told Eames these things before, and I don't need my feelings to come out like this."
"Don't worry, Detective. This is confidential."
"Okay. Anyway, early on in our partnership I didn't think she'd stick around. I even tried to do weird things on purpose. I guess I was testing her or something. She stood by me, though. She's very loyal. She's even passed up the position of MCS Captain because the brass made her fire me in order to get the position. She's amazing like that."
Severin was usually skeptical about his honesty, but this time it was easy to see he was telling the truth. Something in his eyes and face changed when he spoke about Eames. Almost like his happiness came from her.
He continued, "It wasn't until she was, uh, kidnapped, that I realized my true feelings for her. When I got the text message from her captor my world was turned upside down. All I could think about was that I might never see her again. I might never be able to tell her how I truly feel. That scared the shit out of me."
"Since then, all I've tried to do was protect her. Sometimes that backfires, but it's worth it to know that she's safe. I've come to terms with the fact that I can't protect her from everything, but that doesn't stop me from trying. She means everything to me. I don't know what I'd do without her."
Dr. Severin was overjoyed that Bobby was finally opening up to her. She was so ecstatic with the excitement of this breakthrough that she lost track of time. Their session was over for today. She did have one final request, however.
"Detective, do you think your partner would participate in one of the sessions with you?"