A Horrific Thanksgiving Present

Summary: A Thanksgiving dribble on why Luffy now hates the holiday and why Ace now finds it joyful.
Warning: If you love turkeys, do not read this… AU, ooc. And overuse of blood.
Disclaimer: I do not own One Piece or any of its characters. I also do not, on a higher level, own the holiday Thanksgiving.

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I had some dreams… I wish I was a snake. Dude, you ever wish you were a snake? Yeah, you do.
You know, just unhinge my jaw, eat a whole turkey!
-Dane Cook
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Ace never liked the holiday Thanksgiving for several reasons. One main reason is because it was he who had to go and catch a turkey for dinner. And not just one turkey either. There was one for him and for Luffy, one for Makino, and one for Garp. And, usually, when Garp came to the island to get his turkey, he'd usually kill Ace and Luffy's turkey for them, gut it and pluck it for them so Ace could cook it. But this year, much to Ace's surprise, Garp didn't have time to do all that for their turkey, which meant Ace had to do it. All of it. Once he finally delivered Makino her turkey, he went home to find Luffy playing with their turkey and to find out that Luffy had gone as far as naming it. "Goblitor?" Asked Ace, finding the name weird. Luffy nodded and grinned.

"Yeah! Cool name, right?" Ace just stared at his brother.

"Yeah, sure." Ace sighed. This was not gonna be fun… or easy. "Um, hey, Lu, why don't you go upstairs and rest for a while. So that way you can eat more turkey tonight." Ace felt bad saying the last sentence, but Luffy should have known this would happen.

"Alright. See ya on the table tonight, Goblitor!" Luffy rushed into the house and up to his bedroom and Ace gave another thick sigh.

"Alright Goblitor, you ready for this?" The turkey gobbled and tilted it's head. "Yeah, neither am I." The thirteen year old Ace went inside and grabbed the axe and sledgehammer, closing the backdoor behind him. "Okay, turkey, now let's make this a fast ending." He ran his hand through his hair and nodded. "Okay, I can do this. I can do this." His yellow unbuttoned shirt blew in the wind and he raised the sledgehammer, staring into the turkey's soul. 'Don't kill me.' It seemed to say. Ace shook his head and closed his eyes, bringing down the sledgehammer hard, only to hit nothing but dirt. He looked and noticed the turkey and ran at the last moment. So he tried it again. He walked over to the large turkey, lifted the hammer and brought it down fast, and missed. Ace growled. Maybe try the ax? He picked up the ax and swung at the turkey swiftly, but missed again. He gave a growl. "Oh no you don't!" He yelled as he chased after the turkey, ax in hand.

Luffy had been upstairs for about ten minutes and decided that he wanted to have a meat snack. He snuck downstairs and noticed Ace still wasn't back inside yet. "Hope everything's going okay," Luffy mumbled as he opened the fridge. He pulled out a piece of meat and placed it on a plate. He closed the fridge door and put the meat to his mouth, about to take a bite when the backdoor flew open. Luffy instantly noticed that the door now had an ax stuck in it and the ax had blood on it. Ace could be seen chasing the turkey around the backyard (while yelling like a madman, mind you) with the hammer raised above his head and blood splattered on his yellow shirt.

"Get back here, turkey!"

"Gobble gobble!" Finally, the hammer connected with the turkey and it flew through the air and landed near the backdoor where Ace quickly ran over, threw the bloody hammer into the kitchen, grabbed the ax out of the door and quickly over to the turkey that was now getting back onto its feet.

"Oh no you don't!" And with a quick motion, Ace beheaded the bird.

"Gobble gob-ackgll!" With blood squirting out of its neck, it got up and started running around and Luffy stood their watching. It ran around Ace, squirting blood all over his shirt and face. When it finally stopped and died, Ace stomped into the kitchen to grab a kitchen knife, not even noticed a silent Luffy and headed back outside.

"Oh, Garp is so gonna get it when I see him again…" He took the knife and gutted the turkey right there in the backyard. After quickly doing that, he began to pluck all the feathers off and finally, had a bare turkey. "Heh, yes, I hate Thanksgivings. Hate them." He grabbed the turkey by the open neck and grabbed the ax, heading and stopping in the doorway out of breath. If you didn't know it, you would have thought it was a bloody murder scene. He noticed Luffy standing there with an absolute horrified expression and was trembling, dropping his piece of meat back onto it's plate. "Now, Luffy…" Ace panted. "Do not… be alarmed. It was… a fast… death, I think." Luffy set the plate down, trembling, and wobbled his way back to the bedroom where he would sit in a corner and try to forget what he had just seen.

It surely was a Thanksgiving to remember…

But, that was seven years ago, and the brothers' opinions have dramatically changed on the holiday. Once Ace had eaten the Mera Mera no Mi, he found Thanksgiving a wonderful holiday, seeing that he could now catch, kill, and cook the bird all in one Hiken attack.

As for Luffy, who once loved the holiday, never quite saw it the same ever since that day. He sat at the table as Ace served the freshly cooked bird and gave the bird a rather worried look. Just looking at the cooked bird made him think of that horrible memory and he shivered. "Goblitor!" Luffy cried out as he sniffled with his head on the table. Ace patted Luffy's back slowly.

"Don't worry, Lu. This one really did go quickly. Didn't feel a thing. And besides, it's up there now with Goblitor, who I'm sure is happy to be where he is." Although, thinking about that day again, Ace also gave a shiver and looked at the turkey and suddenly felt not so hungry. "Um… You wanna wait to eat the turkey?" Luffy nodded. "How bout some fruit. Yeah, that'll work." As Ace went to the ship's fridge, a certain Admiral busted through the doors with a grin.

"Hello, boys! Happy Thanksgiving!" Ace's eyes twitched as he faced his grandpa. It was the first time he was seeing the old man since that day… "How's my darling grandchildren?" Garp's grin suddenly fell as he saw Ace pick up the turkey with a crazed look on his face and Luffy sobbing on the table.

"Hello, Garp. Would like some turkey?" And Garp never found out exactly why he had gotten a full-grown cooked turkey thrown and stuffed into his face.

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A late thanksgiving story. I came up with this on Thanksgiving day, although this isn't exactly how I wanted it to turn out. I wanted to drag it out a little, but couldn't really. XD Hope you sorta enjoyed…? I know, it's totally OOC and crude, but oh well, right?

The darkness I liveth, the darkness I love
~roo the nobody vampir