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Rating: m, mature themes discussed.
Disclaimer: All characters belong to Joss Whedon, Mutant enemy publishers, and Fox Inc.. No monies have or are being made from this piece of fiction, I'm borrowing them for the purposes of this fictional free writing piece only. This story may not be reproduced or used for gain or profit in any way, Copies may be made, but may not be utilized for profit, and only for private use, all copies must include all disclaimer notices and, or copyright notices.
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Summary: Some weeks after the end of season 7, the gang along with the new slayers are resting in Barstow CA. Buffy is dealing with her personal issues, Willow confronts Buffy over her previous decisions. Giles prepares to plan their new future.
Something old, something new.
"So we're going to be staying at Nana's place for now." Buffy was folding up the newest returns from the hotels wash room, Dawn's and her owLingerie appeared to hold her full attention, she was trying hard not to meet Dawn'seyes with her own.
"But Buffy that means separating from Will and Xander, we'll be all the way up in Washington State. I hardly know Dad's Mom Buffy, she's only met me - what? Once. One hug, then goodbye."
"She's a nice old lady Dawn, even if her son's not much to go by, I know she cares about us as her grandchildren. She's at least one of those who came to Mom's funeral." Buffy looked directly at Dawn. "Besides that, Xanderneeds some time to himself right now, he's still in the process of getting over Anya's death."
A moments' silence followed between the two girls. The pause passed and Dawn nodded, Buffy took Dawn's silence as a sign of her acceding to her own wishes. She finished cramming the last bra into the shared bedroomdrawers, and then Buffy turned to scrutinize her little sister with some concealed pride. Dawn had grown greatly in maturity during the last year or so, she did though have a lot to make up for, such as being the ringleader of the mutiny. Buffy cringed to recall that event. It had been at the height of the war against the first evil, the suddenly vastly grown in size scooby gang had agreed as a group, to throw Buffy out of her own house. In the end, Buffyhad been right all along. For Buffy, the fact that she had been abandoned by those closest to her, that had left a huge, and widening gulf between the slayer and her friends. Buffy struggled to think of further explanations she could give to Dawn. "Also Dawn,Willow has Kennedy in her life now, besides when I think of what a bitch I've been, as well as a terrible friend to her these past couple of years... Well I guess I can understand why she stood against me in the end." She stopped short of adding anything else, her back was turned to Dawn and she croaked out the final word whilst trying to hold back a few tears. However Buffy wasn't about to let Dawn learn just how deeply the entire incident had affected her.
Dawn hung her head, she remained that way a moment and stared at the floor, a small sigh escaped her. For Buffy it demonstrated that Dawn clearly remembered verbally ejecting her own big sister from their shared home. It had after all been Dawn's final decision that clinched Buffy's eviction. Finally after what seemed an age Dawn spoke. "Willow understands Buffy, she's said so to me, she realizes that you were under a lot of Pressure back then. It was just the things you did on that certain night, you know? When you kinda thought it'd be a good idea to bite everyone's head off." Dawn placed both her hands upon her sister's arms, she lifted Buffy's chin with her fingers, and met her sisters eyes with her own. "She still cares about you Buffy." She said, whilst peering deeply into Buffy's sad eyes. Dawn dropped her fingers. "For my part I can only say that I'm truly sorry, I never meant to hurt you, or anyone else. I just wanted to do what I felt was the right thing for everyone Involved, I was tired of watching my friends die one by one Buffy."
Buffy gave her a weak smile. "I understand that you did it all for the best reasons Dawn,I'm actually proud of you; you were thinking selflessly, I know that. As for Willow, she's still like our sister, I think she always will be, at least to the both of us. But she and I, we…aren't really best friends any more, not following everything that's happened. I think you may be the only linchpin still holding any of us together Dawn."
"No... No, I'm not a linchpin." Dawn waved her arms around and bounced up and down in protest as Buffy moved away. "I'm more like a clothes peg; you guys are the fresh washing,while you blow in the wind, I sort of keep you all on the straight and narrow." She folded her arms whilst leaning back with a satisfied smirk.
Buffy lifted her head from the wash basket to give her little sister a sardonic smile. "Nothing's wrong with your wit funny girl." She then added with a mumble under her breath. "That a slap can't handle."
Dawn sidled across the room to stand beside Buffy. "Buffy, please reconsider this, I know you guys can sort things out if you'll just talk it out." She finished with a bright smile shared with a well practised, if overly cute begging expression. This involved keeping her eyes wide, accompanied by short twitches to the mouth.
Buffy took careful hold of her little sisters arms, she reached up to stroke a hair out of her eyes, and then spoke in a soft low voice to her. "It's all over Dawn, the scoobie's are over, we're all going our separate ways in life. Giles and I, we'll never be the team we were there's too much bad feeling between us now. Xander doesn't want to be part of it any more, he's been talking about going on some big world tour all alone, some sort of journey of self discovery."
Buffy turned back to folding a set of jeans. "As forWillow? She's got her new woman in her life, that said same woman doesn't like me at all, I'm not sure if Will herself is all that big a fan of mine any more either. That night I cooked off at everyone, I was kind of beyond harsh, It's Like I was possessed, I said things I should have thought more deeply about, at least before saying them. I shouldn't have said what I said to my own best friends. Will andXand? They've stood beside me throughout, they've been devoted to me, both of them have sacrificed things closest to them, for me, and I repay all that with my holier than thou speech, I was simply rude to Xander, but I was cruel to Will."
Buffy kept her back to Dawn, she was determined to keep the tears in her eyes hidden from her sister. "Oh, she says it was okay, but when everyone turned their backs on me, she turned her back also, two years before? She would have walked out beside me." Buffy sighed wistfully. "She loves you Dawn, I know she'll always be there for you, perhaps more often than I can ever be, and I know that she'll always take care of you, It's good to know that you'll have someone there for you if I… You know… if I have to leave again. Willow will always have a special place in this family. But who we were? Those people are gone Dawn." Buffy turned back around to concentrate on the sorting of socks.
"I think you're painting this all far too black Buffy." Dawn turned away also with her arms folded. "You're being a drama queen."
"You aren't me Dawn." Buffy bit back a snuffle which she extinguished on the back of her hand, she felt tears sliding across her face."
"No! Maybe I'm just… little Dawnie, but I've watched you with everyone Buffy, I'm not ignorant of the place you hold in all their hearts." Dawn returned to stand in front of her sister, her folded arms look demanded Buffy's attention. "Giles still loves you as if you were his own Buffy, he's disappointed in you a bit is all, but he'll always see you as the primo slayer, and he still sees you as a daughter, I earnestly believe he wants to make up Buffy. This rift you've built between yourselves, that'll fade slowly over time, to him you'll always be his daughter, his first slayer. You should go to speak to him, work to mend things."
Buffy held her eyes downcast. "It's not that simple Dawn." She kept an unreadable expression upon her face, so masking her need to weep.
"Only because that's what you tell yourself Buffy, It's your pride speaking, I know Xander, he'll be back, he just needs to find a place where he can mourn for a while, he'd never do that in front of us. As for Willow, she loves you Buffy, things just became too complicated for both of you, If you take some time to bond again, I know you both can find that spark you've lost. She loves Kennedy sure, but it's you who means the most to her, you were bothunder too much grief and pressure for too long Buffy, you broke is all, it just needs to be mended."
"It's also not that simple Dawn, things have... are fading, have been for all of those years. It was a long road, and those days have passed now. There's a host of slayer girls in the world, let them fight the darkness back, I want to have some kind of life of my own, I've given the world every last drop of my blood, even my home and my own life, I've already proven I wasn't willing to give you up also."
"Are you going to try to get back into *his* life... his unlife I mean."
"Angel, Dawn. You can use his name, and no, nothings changed between Angel and I … I think Angel knows as well as I know, that it can never be."
Buffy looked pointedly into her sisters eyes. We need somewhere safe for us to start anew Dawn, you and me, I don't want you to live that unstable and dangerous life, the life that I was given, I want you to have a college life, a real and fulfilling life. That's why I spoke to Nana, she's gonna let us stay with her, at least until we can get a new place to re start."
"Will we see dad?" Dawn stood with folded arms again facing Buffy.
"She's promised not to mention us to him if he calls."
"It doesn't have to be this way Buffy."
"You're still young Dawn."
Dawn snorted as she looked back at Buffy with a nonplussed expression. "What! You're only twenty three, I'm seventeen Buffy after next year I get to decide my own life, and I choose to keep your friends. Your place is where you began, that's who you really are,if you turn your back now Buffy, if you run, if you choose to abandon your real family, then mom's passing, Tara's death, Anya's, it'll all be for nothing, their deaths will be meaningless."
"That's not fair Dawn." Buffy's raised voice broke with tears. "I've given everything I have for them and for the world, I've lost my Mom, my lover, my home, my education, I have nothing to show for any of it, just you Dawn, the only person left I can afford to care about."
Buffy turned away with her hands over her eyes. "You're the only thing I have that matters, plus you're being overdramatic." She snuffled again, and then blew her nose on a kitchen towel piece.
Dawn appeared unrepentant in the expression of resolve she gave to her sister. "There's more to do Buffy, they all need you still, they're all your family, it's the family that matters, you just need to climb down for one moment from that misery show you've got running for yourself, to show them that. Don't allow one big hiccup to bring it all down."
Buffy pouted with a glare to Dawn. Then with her own arms folded in front of her, she stormed out of the room.
Dawn sighed.
Willow was seated upon their shared bed; she held her thumbs pressed close to her temples.
Kennedy was half yelling again, she was ironing whilst spouting off her pent up anger. "You don't owe that bitch anything Will." She said loudly. "All that year she never let you fly free, she never passed a word of kindness or thanks to you, she treated you like a second rate citizen, c'mon Willow, she knows it's over, you're just gripping onto the past, move on now, find yourself a life, she can't place any more unreasonable demands on you."
Willow stopped rubbing either side of her forehead; she waited for Kennedy's signature last word.
"I need you now Willow, you have commitments." Kennedy finished with a look directly at her girlfriend upon the bed.
Willow stared into the mirror in front of where she sat on the bed, her face was showing the hall marks of a life of constant danger and worry, there were age lines now around her eyes, her hair no longer held It's bright, shiny lustre, her mouth even seemed to just turn down these days. At twenty three years of age, she felt like she was closer to thirty four.
Kennedy was a bit younger, youthfully aggressive, so Willow thought. She often reminded Willow of Faith, as Kennedy also flew with the philosophy, the whole world can be kicked into the right shape if you thump it hard enough, sometimes for Kennedy and Faith, that axiom often held true. Willow sighed inwardly, her headache had begun that morning, mainly when Kennedy had started shouting, and rampaging about the apartment, Willow took in a deep breath before moving to tackle Kennedy's point of view. "Kennedy, I know you love me, Goddess! I love you, but you can't dictate to me, whom I choose to have a friendship with or not, particularly in Buffy's case, a very special friendship. Buffy and I, we've had a long and very private, I might say even intimate history, she's held an important place in my life. I spent all of last year striving to stay patient in the midst of her momentous drama's, Idid that because I know what makes Buffy tick, but when I thought enough was enough,when people's lives were threatened, then I made a personal decision. It turned out that I was wrong in that decision, I'm man enough to admit that, but I'm also forced to face the consequences of that decision."
Kennedy smirked.
Willow continued. "Things have been… deeply strained between her and me, Buffy's spent the past two years in a deeply dark place, as have I, but having shared that pain, It's at least a foundation to find some level of understanding between us. I don't want to lose her Kennedy, please don't argue with me on this, the Summers family is important to me personally, they're more my family than my own have been to me, the Summers womentook me in, and treated me like their own, I can't just walk away from family." Willow stared down to the floor as she spoke, she wouldn't look up at Kennedy yet.
Her volatile slayer girlfriend seemed unconvinced.
"So what now Willow? Kum Bi Yah! Everything's abra cadabra'd back to okay again?"
"Actually, Kennedy. Who holds my heart in her hands, Yes." Willow kept her voice pitched as reasonably even as possible.
"I have to hold it Will, you'd wear it on your sleeve."
"Please, I need to deal with this Kennedy, in my own way; I need you to be supportive girl, help me please, support me, let me know that you care about what I care about."
"You think she'd come to you then? She was the real bitch Will, all she's done is stay away from us all, what sort of signal for friendship is that? Not much like a sister who cares about you."
"You don't know Buffy like I do."
"I know what I saw."
"I know what I feel, plus, I know what she feels, Buffy and I, we're bonded like sisters, we've been bonded together in the darkest of the Earth's places, we've fought side by side, we've saved each others lives. I bought her back from death itself; it kind of makes me feel responsible for her, I gave up much of what was precious to me, for her, I won't go through the rest of my life without her, not if I can help it."
"So you want me to wait now? Or just to go."
"I've never said no to you Kenny, I love you wholeheartedly, I just have to sort this out first, It's something I have to settle for me, you can't ask me to give up my whole life, I'm giving the rest of my life to you, but there are still things that are just mine."
Kennedy placed the iron down on the board, she kept her arms folded and stood looking out of the apartment window. "It's just that wherever I turn there she is, General Summers, I can't get that woman out of my life Willow, she's gonna hound me, I became a slayer for her cause, now I want something that's just mine also."
"Your being melodramatic Kenny, I'm coming to join you in Cleveland as soon as I can
Okay?"
"Where will you be?"
"Dawn said Buffy's going to her Grandmother's place up in Washington State, It's her Dad's mother's house, I've met her, she's a nice old lady, she seems to like me. Odd though Buffy hasn't said if she's stopping at Angel's or not yet."
"That other vamp? What is it with that little bitch and vampires? Is she sweet on all of them or something?"
"Okay Kennedy, lets start with part one, stop calling my best friend a bitch please, she matters to me okay." Willow stood up and stamped her foot for emphasis on the apartment floor, she stared with a hard expression at her girlfriend.
Kennedy seemed to bring herself to a stop sharply before she spoke her next words, she glanced down at the floor for a moment. When she next spoke she maintained a low sultry tone of voice "I'm sorry, you know how worked up I get, look I don't know Buffy that well really, maybe I've been too self involved to try, I guess I just can't take to her. Yeah, there's probably a lot of jealousy involved, she's got this whole part of you I can never have, in many ways you love her probably more deeply, more wholly than I feel you do me, she's not gay, sure, but I'm good at reading people especially in that way. One day she'll look at you and wonder."
"Wonder what Kennedy?"
"What life might be like with you there all the time" Kennedy said quietly.
Willow stood up, and walked slowly toward the dark haired slayer, she placed her palms either side of Kennedy's face. "Trust me baby, trust my judgement if you love me."
"I'll wait, okay… I'll wait."
Willow nodded whilst smiling sadly. "Then I'll live with that."
"So she's going to Cleveland? But you want to come to Washington, with us?"
"I'll follow on to her when I'm ready to Dawnie."
"Giles won't like the idea of you're being absent from Cleveland Willow, not right now."
"Neither Giles, nor Kennedy are the boss of me Dawn."
"You're going to speak to Buffy?"
"I'm going to try."
"That'll be an intense conversation."
Willow let out a small sigh. "If there's anything to salvage, then things will work out, if not then I'll move on, either way I can't go on into my new life, not unless I know."
"Know what?"
"Is there more of my path to be walked beside Buffy, or are we done."
"Do you care for her still?"
"I truly think I did, I think I still could, so much has happened though, two years of piled up tensions between two people? It's not conducive to happy families Dawnie, there's a lot of deep and dark things that need to be said, or just gotten off our chests, between us."
Dawn smiled kindly to her adopted older sister. "I think she really does still care Willow, she just builds all these barriers up in her Buffy brain, first she shoots herself in the foot then she pouts about it."
"She's a complex gal Dawnie, don't they say? "We like people for their quirks, but we love them for their faults." Buffy needs to be constantly reminded of her own sense of self, otherwise her feelings and all of her personal confidence grows stagnant."
"Maybe that's true, but then she gets her self superiority complex going, that's when I can't stand to be around her."
Willow rolled her eyes. "Tell me about it, I mean I've always trusted her, no matter what, but once she gets into her monologues, then I'm all like. "Oh Goddess, pass the popcorn." She refuses to learn the meaning of the word delegation, she has to feel that she's the only one who can."
Dawn snickered. "Nah! She just likes to preach to the delegation." The two women shared a quiet secret smile together. "So when are you going to see her?" Dawn asked.
"I guess about nowish."
"She's all aloney and self doubtey right now."
"That's the perfect time."
"What will you do? If there's no way to salvage things back I mean?"
"Just something back would be nice for now, but if it's not meant to be, then it's not meant to be, then I'll move on, I'll be sad, but I'll go. I'll know then that the Goddess has another path laid out for me."
"I'll kick her arse if she doesn't, then I'd rather come with you Willow, to Cleveland."
"Right now she's still your guardian and your sister Dawnie, also she needs you, Buffy's placed her whole future into you, you're the very air she breathes now."
"But if she turns you away Will? I can't live with her like that, not without you, you're my sister too, my other big sister, I need you"
"Dawnie? You know I'll always care about you, as I'll always care about her, I hope one day she comes to understand that. For Buffy, the monks made you out of energy siphoned from her, she knows that, it sort of imbibes her to see you like her own daughter, I'll stay in touch with you, that way I can be there when you need me, you'll be eighteen soon enough then we can get back together, huh!" Willow gently elbowed the younger girl.
Dawn looked away, but nodded. "Yeah, okay." She replied softly.
"One day she'll realize that all this self recrimination is a waste of energy, I'll be there for her when she does."
Buffy pottered about the apartment she and Dawn had been assigned to by the emergency authorities. The rooms were Spartan, but adequate in her opinion, the entirety of Barstow stood out in full view from the main apartment window.
Buffy's myriad thoughts played havoc in her poor tired brain. Thoughts, along with foundless fears tap danced across her shattered neurons. She realized that she was taking Dawn away from all the people she still loved, there weren't many left, but it was the things that defined Dawns short illusion of a life up to that point. Buffy pondered if she really had the right to do that, though she was certain it was the right move for Dawn, the Scooby lifewas too chaotic right now. She felt she had no one left whom she could trust, or who would trust her, the guilt was tearing into her heart, but when Dawn was eighteen she could choose to leave, and be with whomever she wanted to be with, Buffy merely wanted the girls undivided attention until then, she wanted Dawn focused on her studies. Some months previously Giles had said that he could get Dawn into a prestigious British university. She and Giles had stopped communicating during that time, mostly if they did interact, then they snipped or scowled at each other.
Buffy though wondered that if Dawn went to see Giles under her own volition. Then she hoped that Giles might still give Dawn his support, he cared about Dawn. 'He probably see's her as his next surrogate daughter to raise.' Buffy thought, then a single tear slid down Buffy's cheek, she grunted out an angry cry as she slammed her new diary down on the bedside table. 'Damn! 'Where had it all gone wrong.' She had, had the most loving and devoted friends anyone could ever ask for, they had become as tight a family as they could be. Giles had been the father, Joyce had been the caring Mom to everyone, even Willow and Xander deferred to both of them. Willow had often said that Joyce was more like her real Mom than Shiela Rosenburg had ever been. Buffy had Willow as her same age sister, whilst Xander had been like a big brother. It had all been too good to be true or too good to last. Perhaps they had all been living a crazy illusion from the start, maybe the monks had invented all of it, was that the answer? Were they all just living some Monk created utopia.
There was a knock at the apartment door, so Buffy wiped the single tear from her face, and went to see who it was.
Upon opening the door she was amazed to see Willow standing before her, Willow was wearing her long form fitting red single dress under a black jacket, it complemented her shock of red hair.
"Willow! What are you doing here? I thought you'd left with Kennedy for Cleveland."
"Yeah… well. Ya see I kinda told her I'd be along a bit later, and there's things I wanted to sorta, sort out here first."
"Dawn's not here right now." Buffy created a pregnant pause for a moment whilst she held the door only partly open, the seconds ticked by. "You wanna come in and wait?" She asked finally, Buffy left the door open fully as she stepped away, and Willow entered the apartment following behind her.
"It was sort of you actually, I wanted to see Buffy." Willow said as she closed the door behind her.
Buffy stood with her arms crossed defensively in the centre of the room. "Oh! What's on your mind Will?"
"Don't worry about Dawnie, Buffy, I left her down in the reception area, She's gonna stay out this afternoon and give us some chat time."
"I see, this something you two have cooked up huh?"
"No! Just something that she agrees with."
Buffy sat down on her bed. "Have a seat Will, would you like some tea? Or a coffee? We've no herbal teas I'm afraid, but they left us with these hotel room teas and coffees."
"That would be nice, a tea Yeah, please Buffy." Buffy walked over to the small kitchenette, it was also the bathroom zone, she started the preparations for hot beverages.
"So you haven't said yet what's on your mind?" She called back from the small kitchen and bathroom area.
"You… Me." Willow replied.
"That's cryptic one o one Willow."
"I know you have time tonight Buffy, Dawn told me, time for me I mean." Willow called out.
"I always have time for you Will." Buffy said flatly, she had appeared back at the bathroom door and leant on it, in a trying to be relaxed fashion.
Willow wasn't convinced, her face seemed to convey a sense of sadness. "Tonight I'd like a whole load of it, in fact that point is the whole crux of what I want to talk about."
"Uh oh! I hear a mocha's afternoon coming on, have you been fighting with the all powerful one again?"
"She's none too happy about my current decisions, but I wouldn't say that I started a fight. It's you and I; I want to talk about Buffy, about everything that's happened between us, maybe… where we're headed."
Buffy tinkered with the cups and saucers in seeming innocence. "How do you mean Will?"
"Like the way you answered the door just now, as if the only reason I could be here, would be to see my adopted little sister, as if there were no reason or cause for us just to hang out together any more. Dawn's already told me that you plan to head up to your Grandmother's place with herself in tow, you weren't going to say goodbye were you?"
Buffy finally put the kettle on boil, she turned to meet Willow's eyes, there was a very awkward silence in the air between them for a few moments. "I guess things just aren't the same any more are they?" Buffy said finally, in almost in a whisper.
"It's not been the warmest of families for some time now Buffy, no."
"Have you come to tell me now? What a rotten bitch I've been? Parting shots Will? Cos seriously Will, I don't have the energy left, you'd be wasting your time and effort."
"Buffy I don't want arguments or parting shots with anyone, least of all you."
"Then … what Will?" Buffy actually felt confused, her voice took on a high pitched little girl lost tone.
Willow sighed audibly. "Buffy, who has been on a time my most beloved friend and like a sister to me, and whose mother was like my own mother to me, everything you are currently saying is the problem, you've not left any room for any other options, just the ones that feed your own self doubts and fears, that's something more attributable to Faith, rather than the Buffy I know, or the Buffy I used to love so much."
Buffy raised her eyebrows. "Enlighten me."
"I love you, you dork, you just need to open up to the people in your life who matter, stop closing us all off, Buffy, everybody fights, everybody has falling out sessions, in our own past we've had plenty, me? guilty as charged okay. We've had a bad couple of years Buffy, I'm still devoted to you, I always will be, I still want to be your best friend, as a sister to you"
The two old friends stared at one another for a few moments. Buffy jumped as the kettle started to whistle, she turned it off and poured the teas. "It's been a long time since anyone told me they loved me Will, anyone who didn't have white hair and fangs at least."
"Did you think I didn't?"
"Kinda, yeah!"
"Well then there you are, you're a dork."
"Any other loving platitudes while you're down there?" She handed Willow a mug of hot tea with a sardonic smile.
"I could say, you're a self involved, self righteous, mostly neurotic, cold hearted bitch T Rex with claws, but you said you didn't have the energy left for it."
"Don't feel you have to hold back though magic drawers." Buffy sat herself down back onto her bed.
Willow stayed silent a moment, then she looked directly at Buffy. "You hurt me Buffy." She said with a more serious expression.
"How so Will?" Buffy put her tea down to give full focus to the red headed woman.
"It's what I said at my … "Do what I say" speech wasn't it. I knew that you weren't really alright with things." She lowered her gaze to stare fixatedly at the hotel carpet.
Willow's eyes started to well with tears. You know? Those last few months I really had come to believe that we were reconnecting, when I came back from England, I was terrified of how I'd be received, when I think of how I nearly killed all the people I ever cared about, it seemed to me that you should have understood me. I could handle your sudden outbursts, I listened to your passionate speeches, I did all I could to support you Buffy, to stand by you, even when so many others were calling out against you."
"Then I said that … what I said … to Kennedy?"
"In front of everybody! It really hurt Buffy. "At least I use my power." That's what you said. I had to do a double take when I first heard it."
Buffy sipped her tea, but held her eyes down to the floor. "I was scared and desperate then Will. I said things I didn't really mean." Buffy took a very quick sup of tea to cover her expression of guilt.
Willow though was clearly not fooled. "I know you well enough to know; you meant it Buffy, you said it to my new girlfriend in front of me, in front of Xander and Giles and everyone, all those people whose trust I'd worked hard to regain."
"But I know I said everything all wrong that night Will. I let my mouth loose in a way that I'm now all regretful girl about, when I think of how I treated poor Spike…"
"What I heard Buffy was … That I no longer matter." Willow paused for effect. "That I wasn't doing anything at all to help you, that I no longer tried to help you; you were calling me a coward Buffy, superfluous to needs even. I know I hardly deserved kisses and chocolate for the things I did when I went insane, but with what you said, Buffy I felt thrown aside. After eight years of devotion and love, even dedication to you, only to you Buffy." Willow's eyes reddened as they filled with tears, her voice became croaked. "I thought you understood Buffy, after all that happened how could I just start throwing my dark magic's around? You knew how hard that was for me, you knew how I felt about what I'd done, you just stopped caring about me or about my feelings Buffy, I know that when I gave you my promise under the Sunnydale High tree that day, I said "It's not about you." But It was all for you Buffy, because I cared about you, you had to face death and horror every night, you had nothing in return but thankless hurt and misery, you did that all for all of us, I know even that sometimes you did it just for me, I often sat down and cried when I thought of how the world treated you in return, I didn't want you to feel alone any more Buffy.
Buffy wiped the tears gathering from in her own eyes. "You wanna hit me Will? I'd let you."
"I only felt like that when I was all, Grrrr Buffy, then I wasn't even in my right mind, and no, I never want to hit you, like I said I still love you, I still cared about you even then. But you hurt me that night when you shot your mouth off … You really hit home, the worst thing was what you did next."
"You mean when I went to the shadow men world?"
"You did that with a plan Buffy, because you knew what I'd have to do. That I'd have to drag out my dark magic's to bring you home, you knew I'd die trying to, if I had to, but you put me in that position, where I couldn't say no, because you knew I never would. You forced my hand Buffy."
"I guess I don't have any excuse, I was ruthless Will, and I was scared, desperate even, that's why I'm hating myself more than anyone right now."
"It doesn't matter Buffy, each of us would have followed you into the mouth of Hell willingly, that's how dedicated we all were to you, even Dawn. I remember what everyone said to me when I was acting all, miss uncool, that I can't play with peoples lives that way, I'm still suffering the fallout for those choices Buffy, and when It came to the crunch, you were happy to do the same things, it's easy to do bad when it's convenient isn't it?"
Buffy lifted her eyes to look directly into Willow's eyes. "I haven't forgotten that day you dedicated yourself to my world Will, I know you did it to make me feel loved and wanted, and special, I wasn't happy to make any of choices I've made, especially not the ones that have caused any of you hurt. If it's you need to understand that? I knew what each of the consequences might be Will, of my decisions, that any of you guys might die, or come to hate me forever for what I did. For me, the whole thing was a lose, lose situation, but those are the choices I get, as a slayer."
"But it's still what you said Buffy, you made a mockery of everything I've ever done for you, you as much as threw it back in my face. I did let out my magic Buffy because like I believed I'd done the year before, I'd have accepted death rather than leave you in some hell place suffering. So I snatched out the magic energies from Dawn and Kennedy, I let out my darkness as you wanted me to, as you forced me to. I violated two peoples trust automatically, people I cared about and loved deeply, all for you Buffy, because that's what you wanted." Willow sniffled as she wiped the tears streaks from under her eyes.
Buffy left a couple of wet streaks to slide over her own cheeks. "I'm sorry." She said. Her voice barely a choked whisper.
"Kennedy and Dawn wouldn't speak to me after that, not for weeks, they've always trusted the use of my powers, a little less ever since then. I sat up and cried much of that night afterward, because I knew full well what you'd made me have to do, you were letting me know I was just a sacrifice like anyone else, that you'd let me go as a convenience to finish your mission. I still would have gone anyway Buffy, whether you demanded it or not, because nothing changed my devotion."
"I never heard you crying that night Will." Buffy asked softly.
"You were sleeping it all off Buffy. Dawn heard, she came in, she sat with me and just hugged me, she's not so stupid that she couldn't see what you'd done also, she couldn't forgive me either, but she was letting me know she still cared about me."
"Dawn never told me that, you seemed okay with things before then. When you came to see me, you were all supportive."
"Because I wanted to show you that there was no need for you to behave that way Buffy, I understood why you did the things you did, I was always on your side. I wanted you to know that I'd be there even at the end, if there was to be one, beside you, that's how much I cared Buffy."
"So you see Will? There's no way that I can ever say sorry to you, how can I face you knowing what I did, what I made you, my most devoted friend do. I condemned you harshly the year Tara died, for the things you did when you lost control. But then I just did the same things when I was under the starter clock. How can I deserve to be your friend now? How can any of you want to be with me any more? You'd be better off sticking with Faith as your
leader now".
"That wasn't the only reason I took a stand against you with the others, for which I'm not proud by the way Buffy, I truly am not, In fact I'm truly, truly sorry, I never ever wanted to be in that position, I never ever want to be in that position again as long as I live, you don't know how hard it was doing that to you, but When I felt the pangs of guilt over my choice, I remembered then what you did to me, I became as hard inside as you'd been inside. "
"The worst night of my life was that night, everybody I cared about abandoned me." Buffy stared fixedly down at the apartment's carpet.
"For me It was that day in the hospital with Xander, that was when I felt a need to change things. It was seeing my childhood best friend in that maimed condition, because of your decisions Buffy." Willow stopped talking, she placed her hand over her eyes and broke with a sob.
Buffy waited, struggling between the need to go to her friends side, or run from the room.
Willow appeared to gather herself together after a few minutes.
"When you said you wanted to try another attack, it made me feel that you no longer cared about us or anyone anymore, it felt like we'd all just become cannon fodder for your whims. It seemed like you no longer understood what it was we fought for Buffy, or why we fought, I dedicated myself to your fight, because I cared about you, I cared about my friends and my home. You were willing to sacrifice us, all of us Buffy, I'm not willing to sacrifice anyone ever, you say that makes you stronger, more able to make … the hard decisions, that's easy to say when you're the general Buffy. That's how the high command saw the trenches of the first world war. I say it makes us losers as a race, we fight for life Buffy not death."
"I didn't realize you felt this way Will, I'm so sorry." Buffy said quietly. "I guess I've been so distracted by things I hadn't taken notice of how my friends felt. I don't know how to make it up to you, I don't know how to trust you again, or how to have you trust me again." Buffy wiped her eyes.
"I'd like find a way to solve it Buffy, I miss you, I miss who we were."
"I've failed you all, I don't deserve such friends as you guys, I don't deserve someone like yourself in my life Will. I've let you all down, I have no right to ask to be your friend again, for years I dedicated myself to your safety, I didn't want you guys fighting beside me, I was too worried about you. I was supposed to keep you protected and safe, instead I put you all in terrible danger. You especially Willow, I won the battle, but lost site of the war, I don't know if there is any way that you can forgive me that."
"I want to find where we went screwy on the path Buffy, we can get back on I believe that, things became too much for us, we're not super hero's Buffy, we're just people who have some talents. We're only human, we make mistakes, we screw up and we fall down."
"What bought all this on anyway Will?" Buffy asked whilst wiping her nose.
"This did." Willow reached into her bag to produce an envelope. "I was readying to pack with Kennedy when I found it in a folder in my suitcase, the one I ran from Sunnydale with, I just sat with it for a while getting all sad."
Buffy opened the envelope. Inside was a coloured photo of the three core scoobies together, herself with Willow, and Xander. It was a blown up copy, taken at some point during their second year together at Sunnydale High.
"I just stared at it and ran my fingers over the picture of us all for a hour or so, I wept a little, for me, and for you, even for Xander's eye, for everything we were about to lose."
Buffy studied the picture, Willow sported long straight red hair in it, she was clad in her early, and agonizingly unfashionable school clothes, but she was smiling, that was as if the sun was coming up, to Buffy's mind. Xander looked back up at her from within the frame, his own face was happy and care free with two eyes staring back, that was the way she always wanted Xander to be. She allowed a couple of tears to fall onto the glass cover, they left a watery smear over her own frozen, smiling face forever caught in infamy. "I'm sorry." She said. Both to the picture and to Willow. "I'm sorry for everything I've done to you."
"How can we get things back Buffy?" Willow held Buffy in sight with her most incorrigible, resolve face expression.
Buffy choked back some more tears, but they slipped out anyway, she turned her red eyes toward Willow, who waited with her own watery tears filling her sight. "I don't know Will." She said in a whispered croak. "But I'd like to find the way too, or is it too late?"
"It can't be too late Buffy."
"Giles and I, we can never be the same again, that's a huge thing. Xander's going off on his jaunt around the world, I think he wants to put all this behind him, to forget his time as a scooby, and who can blame him. " Buffy paused to sip at her tea with thoughtful contemplation. "Us? Willow we've grown apart over the year, you've been focusing upon your relationship with Kennedy, also recovering from grief, and you've been finding ways to control your dark magic's. I've just been trying hard to keep everything from falling apart, somewhere along the way I forgot who I was in the process, and I forgot my friends."
"Buffy! it's all over now, we can reset things if we want to, I don't want us to slide that final distance apart, I want for you to be my best friend again Buffy, I want to feel free again to call you Buff, to throw a snowball down the back of your hood in the winter, Giggle together with you, Cry with you and make your shoulder damp over Beaches, Steel Magnolias and a box of tissues. You'd throw me over in the snow, we'd roll about laughing whilst you throw snow back under my coat, then we can just lie down like kids and make snow angels. It means we act stupid, and behave like children again, it's all about reverting a little Buffy."
"You have it all figured out Will, so what's the first step?"
"The first step is to try Buffy."
"I would like for us to find our way back together again, I do care about you Willow, but so much happened in the time since we did those things, there's so much junk that goes comes with me now. Where can we begin? Buffy was about to lose control of her tears.
Willow smiled at her old friend. "Where everyone starts Buffy, back at the beginning, let me help you clear out all that old junk."
Buffy wiped her eyes, she looked at Willow with a quizzical eye. "Too cryptic for me now Will."
"How did we first meet Buffy?"
"Well it was in my first year at Sunny…." The light switched on. "Aaaah!" Buffy stood up.
"Hi! I'm Buffy." Buffy beamed her most teen like smile.
"Willow Rosenburg." Willow nodded as she smiled back, she held out her hand to shake Buffy's, Buffy took her hand and held it carefully.
"I hear you're the person to speak to about extra help with homework, only I'd like someone to help me out, as I kinda don't wanna fail, I really don't."
"Aren't you friends with Cordelia?"
"What! I can't be friends with her and you at the same time?"
"Not legally." Willow finished with a slight smirk.
Buffy laughed. "I remember you did say that, I think you still mean it too, well then to hell with miss uppity Cordelia, will you just be my friend."
"How about a best friend?" Willow smiled, and moved to stand beside Buffy.
"That's good too, I need one, there's a vacancy kinda open, if you're interested?"
Willow spoke, croaking through spilled tears. "I'm your gal, if you'll have me?"
The two women faced each other with wet tear streaks falling over their cheeks. "You're hired." Buffy squeaked out.
Willow opened her arms, then Buffy also opened hers, they both fell into each others embrace and wept together, both women remained there, hugged by the other in unison, each crying on her friends shoulder.
"I love you Will." Buffy blurted out through wet tears.
"I love you Buffy, so much." Willow replied between heaving breaths.
They eventually drew back from each other and placed their foreheads together, they wiped their tears from their faces, but still looked into each others eyes.
"Goddess! look at me, I'm crying like an idiot." Willow snuffled.
"No! it's me, I've been the biggest idiot Will, I nearly pushed away all the best friends I ever had in this world, my real family, you guys are more than friends, you're famiy, I should know that by now."
The apartment door opened, and grinning elflike features appeared from behind it, Dawn's face was also was wet with tears.
Buffy glared at her little Sister. "Dawn! Were you listening from the other side of the door?"
Dawn folded her arms, and snorted with a big mischevious smile. "Not … even, I was just passing, I slipped on a piece of carpet, my ear ended up trapped against the door, I couldn't help overhearing the last few minutes of conversation." She closed the door, then she rushed over to wrap her arms around the two women whom she saw each as her big sisters. "I love you both, God! I really do."
After a final bout of tears were released between all three of them, Buffy and Willow sat on the bed holding hands, Dawn knelt behind them with her arms wrapped about each.
"So what do we do next, we're still all going our separate ways?"
"I'd like to come to Your Dad's Mom's for a time with you Buffy."
"What about Kennedy?"
"She'll wait for me, if she truly loves me, she'll wait."
"It's not a problem, Nana's always been asking after you Will, she's a bit of a witchy arts dabbler herself on the quiet, nothing like you or Tara were, just likes to read about it really."
"Actually I met her at your Mom's funeral, She was nice."
"I propose a new pact." Buffy looked to both Dawn and Willow. "Let's also promise to never ever, break up again." Buffy and Willow hugged in agreement. "I promise to never abuse your trust again Willow, I'll only ever remember you are my sister and among the people I love most in this world, I'll never take you for granted again."
"I'll never stand against you again ever Buffy, please forgive me for that."
"I forgive you wholeheartedly Willow, please can you forgive me for my cold hearted stupidity, to take the family I had around me for granted, I didn't see what was in front of my face." The two women shared a final warm embrace.
Dawn spoke up behind them. "What about Giles?"
"Oh Goddess! Go and talk to him Buffy."
"What do we have to say to each other any more, he thought it was appropriate to treat me in the way he would've done in the old days, like a stuffy Watcher, ordering his little slayer around, I made it clear to him I no longer needed him."
"What he did was wrong, you'd come to trust, even love him despite the Cruciamentum, like a stand in father. But I know he'll care for you again if you can forgive him Buffy, you don't have to be the slayer, watcher team again, just be friends.
Buffy dropped her face into her hands, Willow and Dawn gathered around her, to comfort her together.
"I know sweetie." Willow said whilst stroking Buffy's hair as she cried softly into the palms of her hands. "I know."
Giles was searching his wretched laptop for whatever semblance of the council's private data net records he could recover. "Willow really should be here to deal with this." He bickered to himself, or whoever would listen. "I simply don't possess the wretched machine wherewithal to rend information from these confounded things." He slammed his hands down beside the computer.
"Someone call for me?" Willow's cheerful smile appeared at the bay window, she rapped lightly on the pane with her fingers.
Rhona pulled open the sliding door with her uninjured arm. "Hey Willow, Mr Giles was just talking about you." She said with a pointed look back toward the English watcher.
"Sorry Willow, It's just so frustrating having to befuddle my way through what little bits of information I can discern from these electronic nightmares."
"But if the council hadn't had it's digital back up Giles, then everything would have been lost."
"I know, It just grates the nerves, not having real bound scripts to work with in real hands."
Willow cleared her throat nervously. "Uhm! Giles, I've bought someone with me."
She shuffled her feet, her smile was far too wide for an un tense Willow.
Giles raised an eyebrow. "Who Willow?"
Buffy then appeared into view from the car park grounds, she stepped forward into the bay window opening. "Hello Giles." She said flatly.
Giles expression was unreadable. "Hello Buffy, what brings you here? I thought you would go off and never speak to me again."
"Willow and I talked, she asked me to come and see you."
"I see, Willow? What did you have in mind? Buffy has already stated that she no longer needs a watcher."
"Giles! No but she still needs her friends, I've made up with Buffy, I would've sort of expected someone older and more mature than me, to be my example." She cocked an eyebrow.
"Don't you think things have strayed too far for that?"
"Know what Will? I'm gonna go, this was a bad idea."
"No! Wait up Buffy." Giles said taking off his glasses. "Just hang on will you."
Buffy turned back slowly, her face was a mask of defensiveness.
"Come in please, I'll make you some real coffee … please."
She stepped back inside Giles's hotel room, but stood near the exit beside Willow."
Giles filled up his European style coffee press. "Arabic blend, the best, I had a batch sent to me from Simoom, you recall him, he's a Djinn, I introduced him to his wife. He dropped me a batch of best Moroccan coffee haggling can buy."
"I thought he said for you not too call upon him again."
"Oh! That's just common protocol, he's a good friend, I think you should all meet him one day."
"If we still stick around with each other."
"I never wanted to break our little group up Buffy, I just wanted to get the job done right, I truly am sorry that you think I betrayed you, I never meant to hurt you"
Willow tried to smooth over the situation. "Well, so let's just agree to put everything behind us now okay guys, water under the bridge, huh! What do ya say everyone?"
Buffy nodded with a pout that suggested she was thinking hard.
Giles handed them both a cup of steaming coffee, he sat back down with a thoughtful expression of his own, but he waited patiently.
Finally Buffy spoke up. "Well it's a mute point now anyway, seeing as how Spike died, saving us all." Buffy ventured, as she sipped her steaming coffee.
"That's fair enough, and I am sorry Buffy, I know you cared about him, It wasn't my intention to cause pain to you, I just wanted to focus your mind, there was everybody's lives at stake."
"I guess we should just forgive each other and move on then, as Willow says."
"I would like that Buffy."
"I still don't want you as my watcher any more."
"I shan't be, I have too much to do setting up the new slayer training programmes, besides truth be told Buffy, you really do not need a watcher any more."
"I'll always believe you betrayed me in the end, Giles."
Giles sighed. "Understood Buffy."
Willow shared a glance cautiously from one to the other. "So … we're all good friends
again now? I hope so cause Buffy and I have fully made up."
"I would have expected you to Willow, I know how close you two are, I have no argument with Buffy, but I suspect she'll never trust me again."
"I had to learn that twice Giles, It's why I don't want anything to do with Watchers again."
"You won't actually, they're nearly all gone."
Willow widened her eyes, "All Giles?"
"I have managed to contact around twenty survivors all told, most are going into retirement, four are concentrating on rebuilding the library, so we can eventually have something of a records assistance branch."
"What about the council finances, their offshore investments?"
"Still there, but the Swiss accounts have been frozen, only Quentin Travers had formal access, we're stuck with the active floating accounts, also a large number of incurred estates, some of which we'll sell off to increase present required finances, others will become training centres for the new slayers, as they come in to report."
"You're re building the council then?" Buffy said quietly whilst gazing into her cup, she kept her expression tightly controlled.
"Not exactly, only enough to act as command for the different locations, I'll be at the first in St Petersburg, I'm going straight there as soon as we can get some quiet going in Cleveland.
"Andrew's going to take another in Italy, near Rome."
"Andrew?" Buffy chuckled darkly.
"He's actually quite gifted and brilliant, an absolute geek of course, but I wouldn't discount his abilities, it might do the slayers good to learn Klingon or Romulan, they need a little diversity of thought."
"He couldn't punch his way out of a paper bag."
"He can make the discerning and important decisions where it counts."
"Who else?"
"Faith will stay in the states with Robin, I'm leaving them together in Cleveland, for now. "
Giles face held a thoughtful expression. "Buffy? Eventually we will be in need of someone to take command in Scotland."
"Scotland?"
"There's a large castle in the remote Western down, we have no one free right now, no one with experience at least, so it's being held in situ until somebodies available, it could be a big earner if we sell it, but it's so well situated for connections between the European units and here. I know you and I have come to loggerheads, perhaps there is no way of ever solving that, but you are still the most experienced slayer we have, the new arrivals are starting to see you as something of a legend. The position for Scotland will be open if you want it, perhaps at some point, if you want to get back into things. You might think about taking on the position of overall field commander of all units, I'd want you to have it, Faith is capable as a leader, but as you well know, she's highly unpredictable."
"I'll think it over okay?" She didn't look up at him.
"Fair enough Buffy, we need to get it up and running by Easter though."
"I'll have my answer for you all by then."
"Thank you Buffy, I'm sorry we fell out, please know that I still care about you, don't hate me forever." Giles said in parting as he left the room.
On finishing their coffee's, both young women breathed a sigh of relief following the tension that had seeped through the apartment."
"I'd better get back to check on Dawn now Will, thanks for coming to see me, this has really cleared the air between us, I feel that way anyway."
"Yeah! I fee miles better, so we're putting all our differences away, agreed?"
"Behind, confirmed, from now on my future is Willow safe."
"Buffy safe future from me too, okay."
"Okay."
"Hugs?"
"Hugs." Together they stepped back out into the car park area and hugged each other.
"So no more Willow bashing, else Mr Gordo gets it."
"You're not about to go all black and veiny on me again are you? Cause I couldn't handle another Kung Fu session right now, besides Will, Mr Gordo is under forty feet of rubble in the Californian desert."
"Sorry, I didn't mean to drag that up. Hey! I've got good news for you Buffy, for Dawn also."
"What is it?"
"Let's go get Dawn. Call her at the hotel. Tell her to come meet us at the Fiesta, It's a small pub, restaurant further along the main street, I'll tell you my news in there, I'm starved, so let's get some dinner there."
"So you want me to go with you now?"
"Yep."
The two best friends sauntered over to the fiesta, Buffy made a cal to Dawn whilst Willow found them a good table in the sun to sit at.
"Mochas or alchohol?" Willow asked Buffy as she came over to join her.
"Whose driving?"
"Buffy you don't have a car, but I've got no plans to tonight, however I do hereby make my car available to my best friend Buffy for use if she needs, we can all drive up to Your Grandmother's together."
"Thank's Will, can I give you yet another big wet, and publically embarrassing hug?"
"I'm open to offers."
Buffy threw her arms around the red head. "hmmm! I'm so glad we made up, my future was looking pretty empty and bleak, with no Willowy goodness in it."
"I wasn't all that keen on relying upon Kennedy for my going out fun either Buffy. Oh! she's a nice enough person, and of course I love her totally, It's just…"
"She's got certain ways huh!"
Willow replied with a scrunched look upon her face. "Totally! She's got a completely different sense of humour, plus she starts fights, things that get us thrown out of places, you know me, I hate being in that situation, but Kennedy thinks it's funny."
"So I'm the better choice, huh!"
"Each and every time. You know sometimes I wish you were into Women Buffy."
"Awatta huh!"
Willow obliviously continued her train of thought. "Cos, then I'd ask you out Buff, in that way."
"I didn't think you thought that way about me Will." Buffy replied with a shocked look. "I mean I'm certainly flattered."
"Well, I don't, but it's only because I know you don't, but if you did, then I would, definitely I would, think about it, we're perfect for each other, we've had all our arguments already, we already love each other, so we know we're compatible, and we get along easily, bar the previous aforementioned little spatz of course, though if we do have fights, we always find a way around it." She smiled and cocked her head. "We should get married."
"Should I tell Dawn you're making passes at her big sister? Plus, you can't marry that way in California."
"I'm not making passes at anyone, cause you don't period, and anyway it was Dawn who actually said this same thing first." She leant in and whispered. "By the way, you can in England or Scotland, just not in the church."
"When?"
"When do we want to get married?"
"No, dumbbell, when did Dawn say we'd be good together?"
"When we had a talk in the past."
"She's a little match maker."
"So if you ever do missy. Let me know."
"That's not on the cards Will, sorry, doesn't mean I don't care for you, Cause you know I love you absoloutely, it's just that I like to change gear, you know, manually, at least for now"
"I've managed to interpret you cunning code Buff."
"Do I take it things really aren't hunky dory with Kennedy."
Willow nodded. "I love her Buffy, but I don't think we're compatible in the long run, she was the one working hard to chat me up when we met, I simply wasn't interested for days, then she told me how she had found out about her own sexuality, It made me feel comfortable, Having someone around I could identify with. It was better with Tara; Tara was magical, we could talk about the same interests. The only real thing that Kennedy and I share, is the fact that we share."
"What about that business with Amy's spell?"
"It wasn't such a fairy tale kiss we're forever betrothed, it just had to be from someone who admired me at least."
"If I was to Will? Then… It would be with you.
Willow did a double take. "Sorry Buff, start again, that sounds like a lurid confession you're about to make to your best friend, I really want to hear this one."
"I wouldn't choose you though."
"Now I'm suddenly feeling insulted."
"No! No, I mean I wouldn't just do it with you for some sort of experiment, I respect you far too much to just take some sort of advantage of you like that, I never want to hurt you Will, If I ever said the real thing to you, then you'd know it was for keeps."
"I can't believe you're confessing something like this to me Buff, but I won't allow it to let me believe you're suddenly turning gay, because you're bringing me to tears again at the moment."
Buffy shook her head with an embarrassed smile. "Just curious you know, I have this gorgeous red headed friend who's gone all gay after puberty, I sort of wonder what it's like in her world sometimes, what with my fantastical record of devoted, and satisfied male partners."
"They'd line up along the street if you'd let them Buffy."
"Yeah, and I'd knock em down again, maybe I think it might be easier to turn to women, you know at least Bi curiously, just not ready to go along such paths, I'm a boys own girl for now." Buffy re iterated leaning into the witch conspiratorially.
"Your Mom implicated that to me once."
"Mom?"
"Yep! I was doing that Glory detection spell with Tara, your Mom said that she had a bad record with men, It was making her wonder if it wasn't worth giving up on men altogether, I think you forgot to mention to her that I was gay now Buffy."
"Jeepers! I must have done. Were you upset?"
"No, I subtly told her about it in the kitchen when we were alone talking, she was cool with it, although a little bit surprised at first, she had no inkling that Tara was my Girlfriend, but she pulled me into a big hug and kissed my cheek, I think she was trying to prove what a cool Mom she could be. She said I was always to think of myself as her daughter and she was proud of me, and then she said Tara would be welcome in her family."
Buffy let a tear fall, Willow also went silent for a brief time, then the two friends embraced with tearful memories on their minds.
"Thanks Will. That's cheered me up more than anything in the past six months."
"Hey there's Dawnie!" Willow announced whilst trying to dry her nose and eyes on a napkin. "Oh, and there's Xander."
"Xander?"
The door opened as Xander held it for Dawn to enter, together they spotted Buffy and Willow, he guided the young girl toward the table with a gentlemanly wave."
"Xander my God, what are you doing here? Did you break down again at the edge of town."
"Not so much, actually this time I forgot to pick up my passport, they don't let you leave your country without one. I came back to find it, when I ran into miss smiley pants over here, she told me how you guys had gotten back together all lovey dovey, I thought I'd come and see that. Then I saw you two smiling and joking through the window, then I saw you two crying and hugging, guess I felt the need to come and join you."
"It's really good to see you Xand."
"Likewise Buff, we haven't really said too much to each other since I got injured, we've hardly crossed any words at all since Anya… you know… died."
Buffy acknowledged the statement with a sad gesture. "I'm going to try and make up to you all for all of that, I promise."
Dawn piped in. "Does that mean I'm all forgiven now?"
"You missy, have a lifetime of indentured servitude to look forward to, if you're ever going
to be forgiven."
"Oh!"
"But it's okay, we've all agreed to hug and put everything as water under the bridge behind us."
"I think we were all in the wrong really. Stupid scoobies, bad scoobies." Xander said whilst slapping his wrists.
Dawn gave his antics a round of her high pitched, most school girl like giggles. Buffy, though decided that her sister's response sounded very flirtational to her ears. "The reason
we've won so many battles up to now guys? It's because our unit is as a family. The moment we have disunity, then we're gonna lose for sure. So lets never scrap again., you're my best friends and my family, I don't wanna lose any of you, cause that feels really, really horrible when it happens, together we stand, divided we fall." She stuck out her hand across the table expectantly.
Xander placed his own hand over the top Buffy's. "Agreed." He said with conviction in his tone.
Willow smiled happily then placed her hand gently over the top of Xander's hand.
"Agreed." She also said with forthright authority.
"I understand you're all headed up to Washington state." Xander said whilst ordering the next drinks.
"Just till we get somewhere better for us, wanna come along? Grab soma Nana's apple pies."
"I was thinking we could all swing by los Angeles first, but I won't be coming all the way with you, I'd like to stop by and see Cordelia in the hospital."
"Isn't she supposed to be really ill?"
"Yeah! Angel says it's not good on the cards, so it's just to say goodbye you know?"
"Of course, we'll come with, not something I'm want to do, but best we take the opportunity to do it then."
Willow sipped at her red wine. "It's sad, we're not all going to be there at the finish, not all the original school gang."
"Weren't you planning to stop off and try to find Oz Xand?"
"If I ever go now, but yeah, I only know what general district he's in though, I thought I'd just show up and ask for the short red headed American."
"You still wanna go."
"I guess after I've seen Cordelia, I'll probably want to go for a sojourn alone for a while, just whilst you guys get yourselves together, now that we're sort of getting back together again, there's more reason to come home."
"You've Willow to thank for that Xand, she kinda turned my head back around, otherwise I would've been gone by this evening. I didn't think we'd ever speak with each other again, let alone get together."
"I'd miss you all too much in the end." Willow confessed.
Xander placed his hand in the centre of the table. "All for one." He shouted.
Willow placed her hand on top of his. "And one for all." She again forthrightly announced.
"Buffy added her hand over Willow's. "And each man for himself." The three friends laughed together.
"Hang on guys." Dawn interjected.
"Dawnster. What ya got?"
Dawn placed her hand over all of their's. "Me too." She said in a weak voice.
"Dawntagnian." Xander pronounced.
"The three scoobiteers." Buffy decided she was getting a little tipsy, that or just drunk. "I wonder if a glass of wine knows when it's drunk, cause people never seem to know." Buffy realized she had ruminated out loud to everyone else on this thought.
Willow looked blankly back at Buffy for a moment. "So my news." She said happily.
"Go on Will." Buffy replied grateful for the diversion.
"My Mom phoned last night, from Brazil. They were actually going crazy over trying to get some news about me, can you believe that? I thought they'd simply write me off as a tax loss, but they were really concerned. Anyway, Mom says she's getting a big insurance pay out for the house total loss in Sunnydale, apparently the companies are all agreeing to meet the pay outs."
Buffy listened intently, and her eyes began to glow with a thoughtful intensity.
Willow turned to Buffy. "That means a huge pay out for your place Buffy, you and Dawn you'll get the full wack."
"Enough to get a scholarship going for Dawn?"
"Easily Buff, and if you go to Scotland the council stocks will pay for the lodgings."
Dawn looked pensive. "Won't the council monies eventually run out though?"
"Yeah, then I suppose we'll have to start selling off the training centre, Or charging for slayer fighting services."
"I like that idea.
Buffy sat whilst thinking deeply. Her expression caught Xander's eye.
"What ya got a razzlin and a rollin around in that Buffy brain o yours Buff?" Xander rolled his hands in illustration.
"I was thinking about the council monies tied up in Switzerland, the banks are refusing to release it, but that gives us at least the moral right to claim something else.
"What ya thinking Buff?"
"Nothing… nothing for now, just thinking?"
"Have you spoken to Giles yet?"
"Yeah, It was tense, he offered me a leader position in Scotland, training the new slayers I think."
"You gonna go?"
"Eventually, When we're settled."
"Count me in." Xander half smiled.
"You wanna come to Freezing cold barren Scotland?"
"I need to be useful again. Looking for a pirate ship to sign on with hasn't been too lucrative."
"If you sit about long enough on the quayside, there might be a press gang come past." Willow slurred her speech slightly, it seemed the red wine was working.
"Will how about you? Fancy Scotland?"
"I'll visit, though I couldn't live there, I want to make at least a go of things with Kennedy first, I also need to complete my magic training with the coven, I want to be able to trust myself properly before I go back among polite society. "
"Sorry I asked you to do those things Will."
"I know you had little choice Buffy, It's okay, I'm going to spend some time back in Devon some months of the year, so I won't be too far away to come and visit, about eleven hours by train."
"Xander smiled quietly."
"Alright, I'll teleport if I feel it's good to do so okay?"
"We support you Willow, I think you're as courageous as ever."
"So Buffy I'll come with you to Washington for the few days, then I'll be off to Cleveland, any longer and Kennedy'll start to send out search parties. "
Xander finished his beer with emphasis as he spoke. "I'll go see Cordelia., once I've gotten over that I'm going back to have some of my world trip, I think I'm settling on Brazil and Africa for now, I don't know when I'll get back, but now we're all back in the fight together. I don't think it'll be long, You'll see me there by the middle of the year."
"I might see you around there Xand, Kennedy's been talking about us going to meet my parents in Brazil."
"Whew! Good luck with that." He chuckled.
Buffy continued to worry. "Willow can you talk to Giles for me, if I'm going over there, I want Dawn in one of those really good universities there."
"I know he'll do it Buff, he's already mentioned sorting out Edinburgh university for her, I can do a little play online to give her the right scores."
"Willow!"
"Ahem! The less you know about it the better first slayer."
"Nothing too illegal okay." Buffy smirked.
"So Scotland here we come." Dawn raised her glass of coke.
"Hoots Mon!" Xander cried.
Giles stretched himself languidly, he sipped at a steaming cup of tea, best for getting stiff muscles going again. He was relaxing whilst watching the car park area through the hotel bay window, fortunately he had direct access to his car through the bay window entrance, Rhona sat with Vi in the bedroom floor area, they were perusing over the council historical records. Outside in the car park Giles could hear some young people laughing raucously
"You know, I wish things could be made easier between Buffy and myself." Giles suddenly announced to the atmosphere of the apartment in general. Rhona looked up with some minor interest at her watchers musings, but she rolled her eyes toward Vi. "He's reminiscing now." She mouthed silently.
"I miss having one solid champion to be of service to, those three young people have been through the darkest challenges together, they've pulled through with flying colours every time, they truly are the best that humanity has to offer, if they could all just come back together and make up as the friends they once were, they could be a fierce, force for good in this world, champions standing together, they would be an example to us all."
He stood up to lean against the window whilst he sipped at the steaming beverage. The shouting and giggling in the car park grew louder, Giles in curiosity moved the curtains aside. "What is all that ruckus?"
Suddenly in the car park, Buffy ran into view, she carried Willow on her back who had her legs poking through Buffy's arms, Willow was wielding a plastic light sabre that had been clearly bought from a toy shop. Then Xander appeared, he carried Dawn on his back, also with a plastic toy light sabre, the two girls riding began cracking the swords together, Buffy and Xander each carried two plastic cups which they banged together, whilst Xander made horse whinnying noises as the two riders screamed and giggled in their swordfight. The whole group entangled together, and then fell over into a human pile on the tarmac, Xander lay beside Dawn, both of them were holding their stomachs as they rolled around with laughter. Buffy sat up and rubbed her head where she'd struck it upon Giles car tire, Willow stood up into an erect formal posture, whilst espousing a serious and regal posture , she began Knighting her Buffy horse with the toy light sabre.
"Or not." Giles said letting the curtains fall back into place.