Author's Note: Helloooo, my wonderful readers (and hopefully reviewers?)! I've been crazy busy lately, but I found this beautiful song and I had to write something to it. And of course I immediately thought of Criminal Minds. So, please enjoy this short fic about love, loss, life, and death. And check out my other fan-fiction (I'll be updating Far From Home very soon!). :)
Slowly fading away,
You're lost and so afraid.
Where is the hope in a world so cold..?
~Red—Not Alone
JJ couldn't feel anything. Her whole body was numb...
How am I supposed to tell them she's gone…when she's not really—
She stopped suddenly.
A few more steps, turn the corner, and there. She'd be facing her family.
And telling them a lie that would break their hearts.
JJ, pull yourself together. You have to do this. You're not with them anymore—this is for her.
The blonde agent took a deep, somewhat shaky breath, steeling herself as she once did:
"You stop caring, you're jaded…you care too much, it'll ruin you."
All those years.
With one team.
And this is what it came down to?
JJ felt her throat clench tight, and the tears threatened to spill down her cold, pale cheeks.
Oh, god…
She sniffed, hastily wiping her eyes.
Once she regained her composure, she continued the slow walk to the waiting room.
One step after the next…
It's time.
The hospital corridor opened into a wide room.
As JJ entered, she took in each person's face.
As they met her haunted eyes with their own.
Derek Morgan.
You made it. You saved her life.
You held her hand as she lay on that warehouse floor, bleeding and broken.
You told her to hold on, to stay with you. You prayed she'd make it through this alive.
You wanted to believe you'd gotten there on time.
Well, you did.
But you'll never know that…not today.
And you'll ask yourself what you could've done, if you could have gotten there sooner.
But you won't know that you already did.
Penelope Garcia.
I wish I could tell you the truth. You, out of all people, should know what really happened.
I want to say she's still alive.
I want you to believe that there is still good in this dark world of ours.
But they're making me take your light away.
David Rossi.
She trusted you with her deepest secrets.
You trusted her with your own demons, and now…
I hope you realize this is a lie.
I hope you see what we're trying to do here.
Ashley Seaver.
You didn't know her for very long.
You didn't love her like we did…
But you saw who she was—a good, kind, strong person who didn't deserve any of this.
No one does.
Spencer Reid.
God, Spence.
After everything we've been through all these long years.
You of all people know what she went through.
This is going to hit you hard, and you won't see it coming—not even you.
You won't want to believe at first.
Hell, none of us will.
But you have to.
Please.
Don't think you could've done something to change this outcome.
And no matter what, don't lose sight of yourself.
She would want you to keep being you.
Aaron Hotchner.
Hotch.
I know you planned this to save her.
I know this isn't about me, or any of us—
But why me?
I get it; I really do, but…
How am I supposed to tell them—I can't just—it's hard, and—
It's just…not fair.
And it's not easy for you either, but…
God, Hotch.
Why us?
Why did this have to happen to this team…?
JJ swallowed, trying to force the words out.
It was Garcia who figured it out first…
And then, they all knew it.
"She never made it off the table."
There. You did it.
You've betrayed the trust of the people you love.
You've destroyed whatever faith they had left.
…
I wish I didn't have to carry this burden.
I wish it was anyone else.
And even though I'm glad she's still alive, I wish I was one of them.
…
Because it's harder to know the truth than it is to know a lie.
JJ watched as her team fell completely apart.
And she could do nothing.
As their world collapsed around them, and Emily Prentiss became no more.
I am with you; I will carry you through it all.
I won't leave you; I will catch you
When you feel like letting go…
'Cause you're not—you're not alone.