Disclaimer: We do not own Lord of the Rings. If we did, we would not post something that so mercilessly makes fun of it.

AN- anyone who is a LotR nut, please know that so is one of the authors. This story is merely meant to amuse.

Prologue

One sunny morning, best friends Kirsten and Christine were having an Extended Edition Lord of the Rings Movie Marathon. The two girls were both about five feet six inches, while Kirsten had dark brown hair and blue, and Christine had reddish-brown hair and blue eyes, famed by rectangular glasses. Sitting there with their desiccated chocolate bunny and diet Dr. Pepper (they swear they're on a diet…), Christine was hunched over, her eyes popping out as she ogled Legolas in his incredibly tight leggings. Kirsten watched in amusement… until Aragorn made his appearance, causing her to scoot closer to the TV.

"Man, he is so cool! He's the King you know… and he's got the greatest sword!" Christine gave a cackle - thinking of a much different sword. "AHHHH! Not THAT one Christine! And you know he's cool!"

"coughuglycough" with a furious cry, Kirsten launched herself at Christine.

"He is NOT ugly!"

As they were busy rolling around on the ground, (get your minds out of the gutter!) the TV started to swirl and distort as a vortex moved towards the squabbling girls. The vortex grew in size and the colours swirled round and round as it engulfed Christine and Kirsten. Oblivious, the two girls continued to pull at each others hair, one screaming obscenities, while the other stuck to juvenile insults.

"Er…" Elrond blinked as the two girls suddenly appeared on the balcony in the middle of the council about the One Ring…

AN- Enjoy!