I walked into the Gryffindor common room, exhausted from last night.
It had been another full moon last night and I had buried myself beneath old food to muffle my screams.
A bright fire was blazing in the fireplace and my three friends were crowded around, laughing loudly.
Sirius had Peter in a head-lock.
James was eating a sugar quill and looking on in amusement.
"You want out?" Sirius asked Peter, laughing like a maniac.
"Yes!" Peter squealed, trying to wriggle free. "Come on, let me go!"
"Let him, Sirius." James said, laughing.
Sirius complied and as he turned around to say something to James, he caught sight of me standing in front of the door.
"Remus." He said, the smile fading from his face.
I was always doing that to my friends.
They were so busy worrying about me that they couldn't enjoy themselves. A few times, James had asked me about where I go when I "disappear".
I always make up a new story to tell them, but they're never fully convinced.
It's getting to the point where I think I'm going to have to start telling them that I'm a secret agent and I get calls about places I need to stake-out for the night.
Of course they either wouldn't believe me, or knowing my friends, they'd believe me and want to come along.
I almost raised my hand to wave, but then I remembered that there were various cuts and bruises on my arms and sleeves were kind of loose.
So I spoke instead.
"Hey." I said, my voice raspy.
Sirius glanced down at his feet to make sure that he didn't trip over James, who had also turned around to stare at me.
Once Sirius confirmed that he wasn't going to trip over James, he walked toward me.
"Where were you?" He asked. "We looked for you in the library, but you weren't there."
I swallowed. "Yeah, I wasn't. I went for a walk around the Hogwarts grounds. Ended up walking all night."
"All night?" Peter asked, nervously fidgeting his hands.
Sirius regarded me with a suspicious expression on his face while James chuckled and said, "No bloody way."
I swallowed. "Yeah, I did."
"Really?" James asked, standing up. "You walked all night?"
"All night?" Sirius asked, his eyebrows raised and his arms crossed.
I nodded, feeling much smaller than I had moments before. "Yeah."
"Why?" Peter asked.
I shrugged. "I couldn't sleep."
"Yeah, but…all night mate? You couldn't sleep at all?" James asked.
I shrugged. "It happens sometimes."
"It seems to have gotten worse." Sirius commented.
"Yeah, maybe you should see Madam Pomfrey about this." James said.
"I'm sure she'd have something that'd fix you up." Peter said.
I opened my mouth but James started talking again.
"Remember that time we traded her skele-grow out for pumpkin juice and she spent an hour and a half waiting for Henry Morrison to grow back his left foot?" He asked, snickering.
Peter laughed, nudging him with his elbow.
Sirius was the only one who didn't join in in the laughter.
He was staring at me, his arms crossed and his eyebrows drawn down.
Like that, he looked downright menacing.
I shrank back a bit. "If you don't mind, I think I'm going to go upstairs and get started on my homework."
James was still grinning when he turned back to me.
"All right, see you in a little while." He said.
I started up the stairs and went into my bedroom, shutting the door behind me.
James, Sirius, Peter and I all shared a room with this other Gryffindor named Sheldon Denver.
There weren't many things that were secret between the five of us, since we shared a room and all.
But this one…this secret, was one I had to keep.
Even if not for their safety, but to keep them as my friends.
Pretty pathetic, right? The only way I can keep friends is to tell them lies and deceive them.
Sighing, I got my bag from the floor and settled into my mattress trying to figure out my Transfiguration homework.
I was always pretty bad at this subject. I usually got Lily Evans to help me.
She was a fifth year, like me, and sweet on James.
James liked her as well, and he was always urging me to 'tell Lily this' or 'tell Lily that' or sometimes, 'Did you ever mention to Lily that I _' fill in the blank.
It didn't really matter because I wasn't interested in Lily like that. So what did it matter if I helped the two of them get together or not.
Shaking my head free of all thoughts of my friends and of Lily, I started my homework.
Within a few minutes, I was so lost in my Transfiguration homework that I never heard the door open.
I looked up and saw Sirius standing there in front of the closed door. I hadn't heard him come in so I was startled to see him.
"I didn't you hear you come in." I said quietly, my heart thumping around inside my rib cage.
"I know." He replied and crossed his arms.
I took a deep breath. "What's up?"
Sirius didn't say anything.
He just narrowed his eyes and continued to stare at me.
I felt uncomfortable underneath his scrutinizing gaze, so I looked back down at my Transfiguration book.
"We need to talk." He said.
"Ok." I replied. "About what?"
"I think you know what." He said.
I looked up at him.
His arms were uncrossed now but he still looked absolutely miffed.
"No, I don't." I said.
My mind raced at warp speed trying to figure out what he was talking about.
Sirius shifted from foot to foot.
"I figured it out." He said.
My heart was pounding in my chest, my hands were cold and clammy.
"Figured what out?" I asked, my mouth dry.
My hands were underneath my text book, clutching my blanket.
"Why you disappear every month or so." He said.
I swallowed, a huge lump in my throat. I could barely ask, but I did.
"Why?" I croaked.
He took a deep breath. "You're being abused."