DGG: What? What is this? Could this be? Could it really be the sequel-esque thingy for 'Come Back to Me'? Oh my gosh! Christmas miracles DO exist?!

Well, I'm not entirely certain why I'm posting this now. Late-night Christmas present for the masses, I suppose. It's an odd little story. (HA! Odd. Fairly odd. HA! I'm secretly hilarious...I'll shut up now). I believe the concept is weird, but I'm pretty weird so that must explain it.

So...this story isn't ready yet, and yet I decided to post the first chapter anyway. And I'm not sure how often I'll be updating. I'll try to do it weekly like it did with its predecessor, but I have even less time than I did before. So...just be patient with me, and I shall do my best!

Anyway, yes. Here is the first chapter to Blonda Blues. I hope you can all bear with me with this strange idea of a story. But it's what you've all been waiting for, so here it is! Enjoy!

DISCLAIMER: I do not own the Fairly Oddparents. I merely write fanfiction for fun.

Blonda and Juandissimo were a beautiful couple. Literally. They were two of the most gorgeous people in all of Fairy World. Juandissimo – with his well-toned body, rippling muscles, naturally tanned skin, and thick flowing black hair – was a perfect match for Blonda – the bleached-blonde, super-fit, glamorous soap opera star of Fairy World. They were the envy of anyone who laid eyes on them, and they loved it.

For their entire lives, they both had the opposite sex chasing after them. In their respective circles, they had both been known to oblige their suitors, and they were both known for multiple one-night flings as well as for not staying in a relationship long if they were in one. So when the headlines hit that the two of them broke up after only a couple weeks, no one was too surprised; however, when the news reported them getting back together, that did come as a shock to the public.

Juandissimo Magnifco and Blonda Fairywinkle were both very hot-headed, opinionated fairies. It was inevitable that the two would find themselves in arguments most of the time. And for them, their arguments either ended in a moment of heated passion or a break-up. Most of the time, however, it was the latter. Every time the two found themselves in a fight, it was the female who had started it, and she was also the one to constantly end their relationship.

They were in an on-again-off-again relationship ever since they first got together. It wasn't too bad at first, but eventually their break-ups got out of hand, at least in Juandissimo's – and everyone else's – eyes. When they first started dating it was great. Juandissimo would stay the night at Blonda's home every night, but soon enough they were in their first fight as boyfriend and girlfriend. Blonda wanted him to move in, but that wasn't really the reason why they were fighting. It's not like Juandissimo refused her offer. Far from it. He happily said yes; however, it was the fact that in order for him to "completely move in", as she put it, she wanted him to quit his job as a fairy godparent.

Juandissimo had been absolutely horrified and completely taken off-guard by the celebrity's request. Actually, it had been a demand. He gawked at her as he attempted to find the words to argue. Remy Buxaplenty, his godchild, had recently returned from the military school known as F.U.N. Academy back to his lonely home life with his completely neglectful parents. Juandissimo was all Remy had as a true parental figure; he couldn't just leave him! He couldn't just quit on Remy! If he quit, all of Remy's memories of having a fairy godparent would be erased, and the boy would go back to being entirely alone, and that was just something Juandissimo could not allow.

Blonda looked like a dear in headlights upon hearing Juandissimo's argument. She had been genuinely shocked by his refusal to quit his job for her. She wasn't used to hearing someone tell her no. Any boyfriend she'd ever had would jump leaps and bounds to do whatever she wanted or to get her whatever she wanted. No one had ever said no to any of her requests before! So right then and there was when she ended their young relationship.

For about two days, Juandissimo was in a slump. He could barely focus on his job, and what was even more surprising was the fact that he had almost no urge to look at his gorgeous reflection! That had never happened before! And if he barely felt like staring at himself, then something had to be wrong. It was then he knew he had to get her back. It took a little bit of begging and negotiating, but he was successful in his endeavor, and they were officially a couple again.

Things went well for a week. Juandissimo agreed that he would come back to Blonda's every night after Remy fell asleep. Whenever he could find some extra time during the day, the fairy would retreat back to his home and pack a few things that he would take to Blonda's. Their next fight occurred when he actually tried taking his possessions to her home. Blonda just didn't seem to be willing to actually give him any space to place his belongings. Juandissimo had expected to actually share a closet with his girlfriend, but she had designated a closet for him in the room next door. Her reasoning was that she didn't want him accidentally messing up any of her expensive, one-of-a-kind dresses. The male argued with this saying that if they were going to share a room, they should share all of it, not just the bed. Offended, she ended their relationship again.

It was a stupid fight. They were all stupid fights. They were insignificant arguments that should have ended with the two of them being annoyed with each other for the rest of the day or less; however, they always ended up with them breaking up for a day or two. It was a tiring cycle, and yet Juandissimo loved her, and he would always go back to her. The handsome fairy wracked his brain for why this could possibly be, but he could come to no logical explanation. Then again, maybe there was no logical explanation. This nonsense went on for a couple years with the break-ups becoming more frequent as time went on. Finally, Juandissimo decided he couldn't figure this out on his own.

He decided to pay his old friend Cupid a visit.

Sure Cupid had banned him from ever coming near his home again, but this was an emergency! Surely Cupid couldn't be that heartless! He dealt with matters of the heart on a daily basis, after all! And he was desperate. He needed to try something. Juandissimo needed to know what to do in order to make his beloved stay, and speaking with Cupid was the only thing he could think to do. Besides, who else would know how to help him? So with his mind set, he quickly poofed himself to Cupid's home.

Juandissimo knocked on the front door and waited. This seemed odd to him. Cupid had never taken more than a few moments to come to the door before. He was always prompt when anyone came to his home because all sorts of magical creatures from all over the known universe came to ask him for help in the love department. After a few more minutes passed by, Juandissimo was starting to think that he somehow already knew it was him and was refusing to answer the door. With a frown, the Latino male knocked on the door again a bit more forcefully. Impatience swam through his veins like a school of fish as his waiting continued. What was taking Cupid so long? Finally he just decided he would go in whether Cupid wanted him there or not. This was important and he would make Cupid hear him out. He was just about to grab the doorknob when the diapered male himself suddenly opened the door. The smile on the diapered male's face immediately disappeared when he saw his guest.

"Juan…Juandissimo," Cupid gasped, wide eyed. "Wh-what are you doing here?"

"Cupid, por favor," the Latino fairy begged. "I know what you told me, but I need your help! I am very desperate!"

"I…um," Cupid looked over his shoulder before turning his apprehensive gaze back to the raven-haired male. "You…you can't be here. You need to leave!"

"Well, I realize what you said before…"

"Then why are you here?" Cupid folded his arms across his chest suavely while raising an eyebrow.

"Por favor, Cupid! You must help me! Blonda keeps breaking up with me! Over the tiniest of things, even! I just want to know what it is that I can do to stop making mi amor so angry all the time."

"Juandissimo, my punishment stands," Cupid spoke firmly.

"What?" Juandissimo's jaw nearly hit the floor due to the suddenness of the other male's reply. "Por qué?"

The rosy-haired male suddenly looked over his shoulder again before turning to answer the question.

"I…because I told you that you would not receive any aid from me due to the little stunt you pulled! You know that!"

"You cannot honestly just let this keep going on like this! It is ridiculous!" the suave fairy protested.

The blue-eyed male's face seemed to fall at Juandissimo's words, who took that as a sign that he felt sympathy for him.

"I…I realize that," Cupid seemed to start sweating a bit, "and be that as it may, I…I stand by my original ruling."

"You cannot be so heartless!" the handsome fairy cried dramatically.

The pink-haired male looked crushed at Juandissimo's outburst.

"It's just… Do you not remember stealing my Forbidden Love Arrows?"

"Cupid, I am not here for any of your arrows this time. I am begging you!" Juandissimo actually dropped to his knees and pleaded. "I am losing my mind because of this. I do not understand why this keeps happening. It is like a broken record! Please! Just this once, Cupid!"

"If I show you leniency…"

"Por favor, Cupid. I love her!"

The pink-haired male pursed his lips together.

"I know…" he looked down guiltily.

"And I am certain that if I knew what was going on, then I could fix it, and then I wouldn't need to see you again."

Cupid looked over his shoulder before turning his apprehensive gaze back to the raven-haired male.

"It will just be for this one time," Juandissimo continued. "I have not bothered you in nearly two years! Two years, Cupid! I haven't seen you. I haven't spoken with you. Por favor!"

"Fine," he conceded with a sigh.

Juandissimo beamed while jumping up and hugging the other male gratefully, who awkwardly patted him on the back.

"Gracias, Cupid! Gracias!" he let him go. "So what do I do?"

"You? You need to leave. I'll take care of it," Cupid spoke firmly.

"Really?" the buff fairy blinked his violet eyes. "You will?"

"Yes. I will handle it. Just go home, Juandissimo," Cupid waved him off impatiently.

"And you will guarantee that no more of these sporadic, unnecessary break-ups will happen again?"

"I can't help Blonda's personality, but I'll see what I can do."

"That is all I ask," the buff male smiled.

"All right, you have to go now," Cupid spun Juandissimo around and began pushing him away.

"You seem rather eager to be rid of me," the buff male noted suspiciously.

"What? No!" the pink-clad male sweated again. "You…it's…it's just that I banned you from here, and you need to go! Plus the sooner you leave, the sooner I can begin on your request."

"But you can assure me that…"

"Cupid, what's taking you so long?" asked a seductive female voice from the top of the staircase.

At this, Cupid instantly froze, closing his blue eyes and taking a deep, slow, solemn breath. Juandissimo had frozen as well. That voice. It couldn't be.

"I know you said you'd have to go and help someone if they came to the door, but how long can it take to shoot an arrow? I'm ready again."

The buff male turned around slowly and his violet eyes bulged in a combination of shock, horror, and disbelief. There, descending the elegant staircase, draped in nothing but bed sheets, was none other than his girlfriend…or rather his ex-girlfriend at the present time.

"B-Blonda?" his jaw dropped as he rushed into the foyer.

"Juandissimo?" she shrieked in surprise, stopping half-way down. "Wh-what are you doing here?"

"I'd like to ask you the same!" the male suddenly snapped.

The bleached blonde star averted her gaze from Juandissimo as she attempted to find something to say to him.

"Juandissimo," Cupid flew over beside him, his head bowed guiltily.

"You!" Juandissimo rounded on him. "You slept with mi novia?"

Cupid clenched his eyes shut tightly as the words stabbed him in the chest like a knife.

"Excuse me. If you recall, I am not your girlfriend!" Blonda shot her mouth off while placing her hands haughtily on her hips. "I can sleep with Cupid if I so choose to for that reason alone!"

Juandissimo was about to argue when suddenly little cogs started turning in his mind. It was suddenly so clear to him. The fairy's facial features fell as he stared at the actress.

"Is this what you do whenever we break up? Is this why we break up so frequently? Do you always come here?" he asked numbly.

The Latino watched as Cupid seemed to shrink back even more at these questions while Blonda's glare nearly burned a hole through his muscular body. Everyone's silence more than answered his questions.

"It is true, then," Juandissimo stated rather than asked, his violet eyes dropping to the ground. "You break up with me just to sleep with Cupid."

"I most certainly do not!" the celebrity yelled while placing her hands on her hips.

"Then what is this? How is this? You were banned from here just as I was!" Juandissimo suddenly snapped again.

"Well, obviously I have the goods to make him change his mind," Blonda posed seductively, causing Cupid to cover his face in shame with his hands and groan.

"But this is what you do every time? Whenever we break up, you come here?"

"Maybe I do," she shrugged nonchalantly. "I can't help it if Cupid knows how to please me in the bedroom."

"Blonda!" the pink-clad male cried in horror.

Why did Blonda have to be so gifted at saying the exact right thing in order to make matters even worse?

"Why? Why him, Blonda?" Juandissimo frowned while motioning toward Cupid.

"Because he's amazing," Blonda moaned.

"What?" her ex gawked as Cupid closed his eyes and grimaced.

"It's like he knows every possible thing to satisfy me in ways I've never even thought possible. It's so…amazingly wonderful. It's like a type of pleasure that can't even be real…"

Cupid shrunk even more in shame and guilt at the pain on Juandissimo's face.

"And just think," the female continued harshly, "I would have never known his touch if you had never wanted to steal his arrows."

The handsome male was at a complete loss for words. What Blonda was saying couldn't possibly be true, could it? He couldn't believe it. He just couldn't. That's when he looked over at the other male, who was trying his best not to look at him. He stared at Cupid for a moment, recalling everything from the past few minutes. The diapered male had been trying desperately to get rid of him so he wouldn't find out about Blonda! Cupid, the very man that dealt with love and romance for a living, had been trying to shove Juandissimo out so that he could go right back upstairs to his girlfriend! Cupid said he was going to handle the problem. Oh, he was apparently going to "handle" it all right. Thinking about this caused a fiery rage to burn within the muscular male, who clenched his fists together angrily.

"You!" he cried, causing Cupid to finally look him in the eye with a start. "How dare you do this! You have the gall, the audacity to sleep with mi novia behind my back? For months? Years? All while knowing that I love her?"

"Juandissimo, I…" the smaller male started.

"You said she is who I should be with, yet you are stealing her away from me?"

"What? No! I'm not trying to steal her!" Cupid shook his head while waving his hands frantically.

"Then what is this?" Juandissimo motioned toward the actress.

"It's…nothing…" Cupid spoke slowly while casting his gaze downward and rubbing his right arm nervously.

"It's nothing?" Juandissimo repeated shortly. "So you think it is all right to just sleep with her when you know that afterward she will come back to me? This is what 'nothing' is to you?"

"Juandissimo…" Cupid spoke.

"Did you never consider the fact that she was with me?" the raven-haired man motioned toward himself.

"Do you not remember our break up this morning?" Blonda piped up angrily.

"I wouldn't think you would be in favor of cheating, let alone being an accomplice to it!" Juandissimo continued, ignoring Blonda's snarky remark.

At this, Cupid took in a deep breath as a pained expression took over his face.

"I know. I just…" he began quietly.

"You're overreacting!" exclaimed Blonda as she zipped down the rest of the stairs so that she could be eye level with the Latino fairy.

"Overreacting?" Juandissimo gaped at her. "Do you honestly believe that I should be okay with this?"

"I'm not doing anything wrong! We're not together!"

"But we would get back together!" he argued.

"You don't know that!"

"Blonda, you take me back every time! We call it off for a few days, and then you welcome me right back!"

"Well let's just see how many more times I'll keep doing that!" Blonda huffed while folding her arms across her chest.

"Don't bother!" Juandissimo snarled, garnering surprise from the female and horror from Cupid.

"What?" she asked, genuine surprise in her voice, all her cockiness gone.

"I am done begging for your heart," he cast a glare at both individuals in the room.

"What?" the female squeaked, rejection not really being her forte.

"No, Juandissimo, wait," Cupid pleaded.

"No!" he cried while holding up his right hand, causing Cupid to reel back. "I am tired of this. I am tired of the constant break-ups! And I certainly do not want to come in second to you," he sent Cupid a glare so dirty it made it made even pigs seem sparkling clean. "So I am done. You can have her."

"What!" exclaimed Blonda, her arms dropping to her sides.

"Juandissimo, no! Please! I don't want her! It's just –"

"Mighty convenient that she puts out to anyone she sees?" Juandissimo finished Cupid's sentence coldly.

"How dare you?" Blonda roared.

"Oh, please," Juandissimo rolled his eyes. "You cannot deny it, Blonda. It is exactly what you do! You are an easy girl, even if you have high standards for the men you choose to sleep with," the buff male sent Cupid another glare, this one laced with venom. "Apparently he meets with those standards."

"Juandissimo, wait. Don't do this," Cupid begged. "This isn't –"

"Save it. I do not want to hear your pathetic excuses for sleeping with her! And I don't care about your excuses either," he added while glaring at the female. "We are done."

"Done?" Blonda's pink eyes bulged, tears glossing over them.

"Juandissimo, no," Cupid rushed forward.

"Don't!" Juandissimo spoke harshly, halting the pink male in his tracks. "I am through with her. Keep her. We are done."

But, of course, they weren't.

It took time, much more than the usual few days. This time it took months, and surprisingly enough, it was Blonda who came crawling back to him. The fact that she came to him surprised the male; she obviously wasn't the type to beg. Her exes were always the ones to come groveling on their knees to her, so this tiny act alone allowed him to let her speak. After a very long talk, Juandissimo decided to take her back, and so they resumed their courtship.

He felt like this could be a mistake, like he was falling back into a trap; however, things were different this time around. There were still fights, but they were usually resolved without going to the extremes. They had a happy little routine going. During the day Blonda would be in the studio filming for her soap opera while Juandissimo was on Earth, tending to his godchild. By night, the two would be together uninterrupted, usually. Things were quite peaceful between them, and their break-ups were more infrequent. But there were break-ups.

When they broke up, they would usually be over something stupid, like before. And within a couple days, they would be back in their relationship once more. The male fairy was no fool. He knew what – or rather, who – she probably did while they were broken up. He didn't like thinking about it, so he chose not to. It tortured him to think that she couldn't be faithful to him, and although it happened more infrequently, that didn't mean that the constant tugging and pulling on his heartstrings was any less painful. So why did he put up with it? Why did he let her do this to him constantly? He loved her, that was for certain, and one of these days, he was certain that she would stop seeing Cupid. He just knew she would. She had to. He hoped…

DGG: So there's chapter one. Yes. Yes. Why should Juandissimo put up with this? Because I force him to, that's why! Evil authors are evil.

But anyway, since this is Christmas day, I do want to say that I hope everyone had a good one!

Please review and I'll update as soon as I can!