A/N: I had originally posted this in my Bits and Bites collection, but at the request of a reviewer I am posting it as a oneshot. So I hope you like it. :)

Wow, it's amazing what ideas you get at 1 in the morning...

Basically, these are slightly different versions of the Old Spice Commercial.

IF YOU HAVE NOT SEEN THE OLD SPICE COMMERCIAL GO WATCH IT NOW AT:

watch?v=owGykVbfgUE

Now you are ready to read ahead... at your own risk XD

Genre: Humor/Parody

Characters: Matt, Mello, L, Light

Matt:

Hello ladies.

Look at your man; now back to me. Now back at your man; now back to me.

Sadly, he isn't me.

But if he stopped being an active sports player and switched to being a genius hacker; he could almost be me.

Look down, back up.

Where are you?

You're in Whammy's game room with the man your man could act like.

What's in your hand? Back at me.

I have it; it's a controller for the game system you love. Look again, the controller is now a pack of smokes.

Anything is possible when you act like an awesome gamer and not a noob.

I'm wearing goggles.

Mello:

Hello ladies.

Look at your man; now back to me. Now back at your man; now back to me.

Sadly, he isn't me.

But if he stopped being a fucking pansy and switched to being a kick-ass mafia leader, he could wish he was me.

Look down, back up.

Where are you?

You're in the mafia headquarters with the man your man dreams he could be.

What's in your hand? Back at me.

I have it; it's two bars of that delicious chocolate you love. Look again, the chocolate is now my loaded handgun.

Anything is possible when you wish to be a sexy beast like me and not a loser.

I'm on a motorbike.

L:

Hello ladies.

Look at your man; now back to me. Now back at your man; now back to me.

Sadly, he isn't me.

But if he stopped being a useless distraction and switched to being the worlds greatest detective, he could prove to be a challenge for me.

Look down, back up.

Where are you?

You're in a temporary hotel room with the man your man could never beat.

What's in your hand? Back at me.

I have it; it's a laptop bearing the letter L. Look again, the laptop is now a plate of cake.

Anything is possible when you work for justice and don't act like an idiot.

I'm playing tennis.

Light:

Hello ladies.

Look at your man; now back to me. Now back at your man; now back to me.

Sadly, he isn't me.

But if he stopped being a no-good troublemaker and switched to being a Kira supporter, he would not be punished by me.

Look down, back up.

Where are you?

You're in To-oh University with the man the whole world should worship.

What's in your hand? Back at me.

I have it; it's the Death Note which powers the God you love. Look again, the Death Note is now an apple.

Anything is possible when your man supports me, your God, and is not a murderer.

I'm eating potato chips.

Hahahaha, which one is your fav? My fav is Light, just cause of the last line XD