"How many years has it been since I have been assigned to this spot" the old man said while stroking his beard gently, "No, I can't use the term years because in this place, time doesn't exist"
"Hey" another voice came up, "Don't confuse me any further, Zilean!"
"Oh" The old man, Zilean, focused his attention on the figure talking to him, "How long have you been ther-"He interrupted himself, "Why am I asking about time again, it doesn't exist" He laughed.
"And there you go confusing me again" The figure sighed.
"Well then" Zilean smirked, "Shall we?"
"Did you decide on a main character yet?" the figure asked.
"Having a main character is optional."
Hunting for clues
Chapter I
Runeterra is a giant continent, and like any other land it has different cities, tribes and nations living their lives and ruling their respectful areas. Such a nation is Noxus, the infamous land of raw strength. If you're a Noxian you should be used to the way things go around in this town; the strong devour the weak, every conflict is decided through any kind of strength competition. Because of this law any sane outsider would avoid even coming close to Noxus.
Me? Oh don't worry about me; I used to survive on the streets of Noxus ever since I was a kid. That's right, used to… until he appeared, General Du Couteau.
He was a strong, fierce man, an excellent assassin and the man that took my freedom away.
He is also the one I respect the most.
The general has been reported missing for a while now and there have been no traces whatsoever of him anywhere, but tomorrow, I'm taking things into my hands.
The street I was walking through was known for merchants' gatherings at this time of the year; It was quite a busy street. People's voices filled the street, some of them selling their merchandise, and others simply laughing together or talking to each other, since the gathering happens every year, there were a lot of merchants who knew each other from the previous gatherings. But the voices of the people didn't bother me one bit, I was focused on one thing and one thing only; the disappearance of the general.
Lost in thought, I felt the side of my shoulder hitting a hard object; it brought me back to my senses as I noticed that I bumped into someone. The loud and busy street suddenly turned quiet and I notice that most Noxian merchants are nowhere to be seen.
I catch a glimpse of a man hiding behind a window, another behind a barrel and some others closing the doors of their houses, I'll find out the reason in a few seconds.
The man I bumped into is known as The Hand of Noxus, Darius.
He was well-known for his violence and cruelty, and since the look on his face was twisted right now, most Noxian merchants would want to avoid being close.
"Want me to rip that hood along with your face?" Darius' voice roared through the street, "Scum!"
This is troublesome. I don't have time to deal with him.
"My bad" I speak up, answering his roars with a calm tone as I turn around and start walking away.
"Apologize!" Darius lifts his infamous axe, pointing it at my back.
The streets, the buildings, heck I can even recognize the air. After all, I have been born and raised here.
Here, in Noxus.
My name is Katarina Du Couteau, I'm a renowned Noxian assassin. Why am I standing at the entrance of Noxus you ask? I happen to be back from a delivery mission
"Miss Du Couteau!" a middle-aged man, dressed in a crimson robe ran over to me, "Trouble!"
"What's wrong?" As soon as I asked that, I heard the sound of blades clashing.
Battles in the streets were made illegal a few months ago, much to everyone's relief, so who might that be?
I swiftly leaped on the walls, and over to the battle scene, standing on one of the buildings there.
As soon as I recognized the two figures fighting my hand rested on my hip while the other had its fingers on the bridge of my nose.
It was Talon and Darius; they were in a pretty vast and open area which gave Darius a higher advantage.
I thought it was interesting and decided to sit down to watch for a bit.
Talon was searching for an opening, phasing through the shadows while Darius stood still with a sarcastic look on his face. Talon was a calm and collected person unless it came to the house of Du Couteau, he won't let anyone hurt their pride, and since he was a part of the Du Couteau house now he felt insulted at the look in Darius' face, causing him to ready for his ultimate attack.
"Oh" I noticed Talon readying one of his ultimate attacks, "It seems I'll have to step in"
Before they were able to do anything I shouted from a distance, "Stop this instant!"
Talon quickly reacts to my voice when he recognizes it and pulls back, turning his eyes to my approaching figure.
"That's it for today, boys." I glance at Darius, "Or did you forget about the last rule?"
Darius firms his grasp on his axe, "You're no fun, Du Couteau."
We wait for Darius to walk out of sight.
"Miss Du Couteau I-"
"I don't want to hear it" I interrupt him waving his worries away, "I'm sure you won't pick a fight unreasonably"
"My gratitude" he nods.
I turn around and start heading home, followed by Talon a few seconds later.
"I heard you have been preparing to go out of Noxus?"
"Yes" He nods.
"Is it about that thing we discussed earlier?"
"…Yes"
"Are you that concerned about him?"
"It's not concern" he looks up, "I just want to know why and where."
"Will you really waste your time for something like that?" I raise an eyebrow.
"If it's for the general" he smirks, "The time is definitely not wasted"
I confirm his determination with a side glance and a smile, "You sure have changed" I mutter.
"What was that?"
"Nope" I shake my head, "Nothing at all."
I'm glad Miss Du Couteau interrupted that fight; I wouldn't want to lose another blade.
"Well then" The Miss' voice came up, "Where do you intend to start?"
We went into the Du Couteau's guest room; it had a beautiful set of furniture and was decorated with paintings of a crimson dragon, after the general's sudden disappearance getting guests was really rare so the room was empty most of the time. We put a map of Runeterra on the table as we sat down. I grabbed a pen and a bottle of ink.
"I'm planning to head over to Piltover first; they seem to have the newest technology so I might be able to find out something to help me in finding the general" I said while crossing out Piltover on the map.
"You're dead serious about this" she said with a sarcastic tone.
"After I'm finished with Piltover" I ignore her sarcasm, "I'm going to travel all around Runeterra searching for clues"
Miss Du Couteau was dressed in her casual clothes; it consisted of a black blouse and black shorts, why did this woman like black that much?
I, on the other hand, was still dressed in my battle suit.
We were sitting on the opposite sides of the table so she got up, leaned on the table got close to my face, "I'm just teasing" she said, while grinning.
I had a look of annoyance on my face which was quite obvious so she grabbed the pen from my hand as it rested in her tiny fingers, "I'll do you a favor and", She crossed out Bilgewater on the map, "Check for father's whereabouts in Bilgewater.
I had a surprised look on my face, was she really doing this for my sake?
"Of course, it's because I have another delivery mission there" she said while balancing the pen on her finger.
My surprised look changed into a poker face, "Of course." I knew it.
"So" she sat back in here seat, "When are you planning to leave?"
"Tomorrow at dawn"
"Wonderful" she smiled, "We're going in different directions but I'll also leave by that time"
"Very well, then" I nod at her; "If you'll excuse me" I get up and walk out of the room.
I enter the Du Coutaeu Dojo, decorated with the same crimson dragon, I remember training with miss Du Couteau here when she told me that she wanted to improve her technique, how long has it been since that happened?
I snap from my memories and turn around, walking into the equipment room. I grab a set of blades, the ones I preferred the most, the sharp, unbalanced and spiky ones, polishing them and getting them ready for tomorrow's journey.
I hope I won't lose any blades this time, I can always get new ones but loss is still an unpleasant feeling.
I was curious about what happened to the general, people would most likely call me obsessed, but it's something that I must figure out no matter what.
My hand turns into a fist and I quickly grab it with my other hand,
"But most of all" I speak up, "I'm excited."
"Piltover, The City of Progress, is taking another step into the future!" a charismatic voice came up. It was a guy wearing a suit and standing in the spotlight on a stand in the streets of Piltover, holding a microphone with everyone's attention on him, "We are heading towards a new era of modern technology!" he points his finger to the sky earning people's applause.
"And right here right now, I present you with our newly developed device, The MG-255; it's a vacuum cleaner that is able to contain high amounts of matter by compressing them with air inside of it!"
A woman walks into the spotlight, pushing a table on wheels which had the vacuum cleaner on it, covered with a blanket.
As the announcer took off the blanket the crowd was surprised at the modern look on the vacuum cleaner, "Housewives, worry no more" he pointed his palm at the device, "For this will save your time and strength!"
"Well then!" he spoke up again, "Do any of you ladies or gentlemen have any questions?"
People started raising their hands one by one, with the announcer answering each question quickly.
"Does it clean any kind of dust?"
"Of course it does!" he gave the lady asking thumbs up.
"Does it clean people?" another voice came up.
"Is it completely safe to use?" a guy standing nearby asked.
"Of course it is, sir!"
"Hey… I asked you if it cleans people"
"Is being sold now?" a woman asked.
"More copies will be made tomorrow, this is the original copy"
"Hey you bastard!" a loud voice came from inside the crowd causing everyone to quiet down.
The owner of the voice was a person wearing a hooded cloak, covering their eyes and body. "You listening, you little bitch?"
"Forgive me, I didn't hear you well" the announcer apologized nervously.
The figure jumped up, landing on the stand, "What I asked you is…" The figure speaks up.
Everyone went silent, looking at the figure and waiting for their question.
Silence...
"Yes?" The announcer raised an eyebrow.
"I forgot" said the figure, in a dull tone.
The announcer tidied his suit's collar, "Well then if you'll excuse me I-"
"But!" the figure interrupted, "I still remember the punch line"
There was a quick ticking sound and the figure threw the announcer something, "There you go"
The announcer raised his hands in front of his face and closed his eyes, catching the thing that was thrown at him. He then opened his eyes to find the hooded figure taking off their hood.
Her pink eyes shone through her hood as she took it off and her bright blue hair caught everyone's attention.
"J-Jinx!" a voice came up in the crowd, causing everyone to panic.
The announcer quickly averted his gaze to the thing that was given to him.
It was a mini-bomb.
He wanted to react by quickly letting go of it but it was too late as the bomb had already exploded in his hand, causing him to cry out loud in pain.
"You shouldn't play with toys made for adults!" she laughed out loud.
The man's hand was blown off and the crowd was in panic, while some of them called the cops others were simply running for their lives, as they knew the criminal standing in the spotlight very well.
"Well then" Jinx turned to the vacuum cleaner, "I was going to get a new gun anyway, but a vacuum cleaner will do the job for now!" she grabbed the first model of the MG-255 and ran away while laughing maniacally.
The City of Progress was proud of their emergency services, and they always arrived in a minute after getting the call, sometimes even earlier.
The ambulance was already taking in the injured announcer while a cop car stopped nearby and as the door opened, a slender leg was stretched out of the car, put lightly on the ground, and a female emerged. It was The Sheriff of Piltover, Caitlyn.
The other door was smashed open as another figure stepped out of the car with a pissed off look on her face, "It's that bitch again isn't it?" She said, spitting on the ground. Caitlyn's companion was the newly appointed Enforcer, Vi.
"It seems so" Caitlyn spoke up, "She stole the new vacuum cleaner model they were working on"
A third figure arrived on a motorcycle; it was a famous Piltover detective. They called him Mantez.
"She will most likely go to jewelry stores now" he spoke up, "otherwise she wouldn't find any reason in taking the vacuum cleaner"
"Are you stupid?" Vi interrupted the detective's professional atmosphere with her sarcasm, "She doesn't care about that!"
"Enforcer" he expresses annoyance at Vi's sarcasm, "I believe I'm the detective here"
"And I'm in charge of beating up punks around here!" she slams her fists together, "Do you want me to put you on the list?!"
"If you want to catch a criminal you have to think like them!" he shouts.
"That is the problem, detective." Caitlyn interrupts their argument, "Jinx doesn't think."
The next day at dawn
The supper, the tools and most importantly the blades, all ready.
I cover my head with my hood and fling the bag on my back.
"Shall we?" Miss Du Couteau was already behind me.
"I couldn't sense you approaching, Miss" I smile, "It seems all that training paid off"
"Say" she turns around before walking away, "If you run into that snake tell her to head home"
We head out of Noxus' front entrance and head in opposite directions.
I look back after a few seconds to see her back getting smaller, I always admired the way she walked; full of determination.
I grab a map out of my bag's pocket and inspect the Ironspike Mountains.
If I stay away from the north of the mountains I shouldn't be in range of the Cryophoenix's territory, but that would mean I would have to head through the normal road. I have a bounty on my head so that would be a bit troublesome. I need to find a way to reach Piltover through the main road without being caught or even noticed. I don't want any trouble like my encounter with that girl and her pet. Or should I call them a tag team out of respect?
Well, whatever.
I walked for a few kilometers until I reached the main road through the mountains.
I notice an old man driving a vehicle filled with supper heading towards the main road, I swiftly jump into the road and step in front of his vehicle to catch his attention.
I jump over to the window, "Hey old man" I speak up.
He quickly grabs a knife and lunges at me; I grab the knife out of his hand with ease, "Calm down!"
"What do you want?!" he backs away.
"I need to get through the mountains, I have the money to pay for your services if you accept" I stretch my hand into one of the pockets on my bag and take out 10 gold coins.
The old man calms down a bit and gets into his seat, "Too many today" he points at the back of the vehicle while shaking his head, "get in the back" he says, "Hide between the suppers"
I hand him the coins and quickly jump off, run around to the back and get in. I hit the back of the vehicle with my hand twice as if to tell him that I'm ready, the old man reacted by turning on the engine and heading out.
It was quite cramped in here as there was a lot of junk. I was sitting between all that junk.
I couldn't stand.
I turned my head around the back of the vehicle, inspecting the junk around me.
There were a few big white bags, probably filled with supper for travelling or with whatever this old man trades with other people. There was also an old machine with the Piltover crest on it and old dusty parts of what looked like another Machine. There was also a cloak with its hood on, "Huh?" I raise an eyebrow.
"What?" a voice comes from inside the hood, it sounded womanly.
I lift up the hood a little to find sharp red eyes looking at me.
"Oh, my apologies" I avert my gaze, "I didn't see you there" I let go of the hood as it covers the face back to how it used to be. I then crawl to the opposite direction of the other passenger.
We sat in silence. I didn't want anyone to know of my identity while travelling through these mountains and it seems she felt the same way so we didn't say a word. I looked at the figure in front of me only to find the same red eyes watching me carefully. She's very cautious.
The atmosphere was extremely heavy.
Chasing Jinx after she left the crime scene was futile; she was the most unpredictable criminal they ever encountered because of the way her mind operated; in no way.
"She's definitely hiding in the outskirts of the city" Mantez, the famous Piltover detective was still going on with his investigation.
Vi rolled her eyes, "Cait… why is he even here?" but she didn't get any reply, "Cait?"
She noticed that her companion was lost in thought, or was it anger?
"Hey" Vi walked over and put her hand on her mouth to sound close to what a radio would sound, "Vi to the Sheriff, do you copy?"
"Dang it…" Caitlyn muttered.
Vi snapped her fingers at Caitlyn's face breaking her concentration, "What's up, cupcake?"
"Oh" Caitlyn came to her senses, "I was just spacing out"
"Yeah that was pretty obvious" Vi smirked, "What's wrong?"
"Nothing it's just" Caitlyn's voice had a hint of despair, "First it's C and now…" she looked down at her feet.
My name is Vi, at least that's the name I go by now. This depressed lady standing in front of me is my partner, Caitlyn, the Sheriff of Piltover. Despite all of our differences and origins, I care for her. Even though I take most of her words and orders as opinions and advice it still bothers me when she feels despair, and she's been feeling it quite a lot lately.
"Cheer up will ya?" I said trying to comfort her slender body with my gauntlets but stopping mid-way.
"I'm…" she looked up at me, "I'm fine" she turned away, looking down at her feet.
"You're dismissed until we get another alert" she added," I won't be taking the car back; I have some business to attend to" and with that last order she walked away.
I watched her back with a concerned look on my face, or was it pity?
Despite her slender body and womanly figure she was quite a strong lady, and her pride could match the mountains in its size, and since she wasn't able to catch the last two criminals she's been chasing lately; that C guy and the blue-haired idiot, it probably delivered a blow to her pride and self-confidence.
Pitying her in this state would only hurt her pride further, so I won't do it. Concern is still an option, though.
So she said I am to wait until the next alert or order is issued huh?
Screw that!
"Hey detective"
He responds by turning his gaze to me with an annoyed look on his face.
"Be useful will ya?" I open my gauntlet's palm as if telling him to give me something.
"What do you want?" He asked in an annoyed tone.
"Give me the keys to your Bike"
"Why should I do that?" his look grew even more annoyed, "Besides, the keys are in the bike"
"Great" I walk over to his bike, "So even you can be useful sometimes"
"Wait, you can't be thinking of-"his words get interrupted by the sound of his bike's engine being turned on and me storming off the crime scene on his bike.
I could hear a loud shout from him but I didn't really understand what he was saying. He was probably cursing but whatever, I'll take care of him next time. Now comes the pink-eyed maniac's turn.
I increase the speed of the bike and drive into the Outskirts of Piltover, she's definitely there.
Coming at that idiot in groups would alert her. So I should just go alone.
"It's time to kick some butt!"
Noxus and Demacia are the two major nations in Runeterra. Demacia has been the rival of Noxus ever since ancient times. They both agreed to stop the war since they appeared to be equally matched for the last few decades but that doesn't mean they're not enemies anymore, if a Noxian with a bounty on his head, like me, is caught by Demacian soldiers somewhere in Runeterra he'll definitely be killed. Even though I don't really feel any loyalty towards Noxus, I'm still a Noxian, because that's where the Du Couteau's loyalty lies.
The road going through the Ironspike Mountains is quite old and rough which is causing the vehicle I'm in to shake around quite violently, it's quite an unpleasant experience but I can't complain about it in my current situation. I should be grateful to the heavens for finding a way to get through the mountains safely. If there actually is any heaven, that is.
The other passenger facing me didn't seem to be affected by the shaking of the vehicle. She sat there in silence while carefully watching me. Perhaps I should try talking to her to soften the atmosphere around us?
My thoughts were suddenly interrupted by the vehicle's sudden stop and the sound of a group of people getting close and threatening the driver.
I tried to listen to what they were talking about.
"Hey old man!" a voice came up, it sounded manly, "we saw a guy get in with you earlier"
Don't tell me they spotted me?!
"Get 'im out!" Another voice came up, this one also sounded like a man.
The vehicle driver was tense, "You can search the back, but please don't hurt me or my supper!"
He sold me out. That cheap old man, does he not honor his deals?
I quickly notice the female that was resting facing me moving and crawling out. Trying to run away to avoid them huh? Well I would do the same in her situation.
The female gets out of the back while I ready my weapon. I'll take them out once they open the door to the back of the car, the darkness will give me an advantage in case they're armed, then I'll just use one of them as a shield while taking out the others.
I hear the surprise in their voices once they get a view on her coming out of the back and then-
"GAH!" screams?
"W-WHAT IS THA-"
Silence… What in the world happened?
I get out of the vehicle to find the cloaked female standing, surrounded by 3 black bags. When I take a closer look I notice they're actually burnt corpses of 3 people, smoke rising from them.
She walked away in silence, leaving me and the speechless old man behind, with confused faces.
When I looked around I noticed that we were past the mountains, I can continue on foot from here on.
I walk by the cowardly old man and glance at him from under my hood, "I would cut your throat here and now but I don't want to dirty my blade"
I wanted to take some of his supper, but it would be a burden when hiding from enemies so I didn't. I walked away towards the road leading to my first investigation point, Piltover.
It's all annoying, it's all a load of crap, this world is a joke, its people are a joke, and life is a joke. But life is different; it's more like a bad joke.
I need to try that vacuum cleaner on something soon.
Do you know what we do to bad jokes?
I want to explode the hat lady's office next. As well as her hat, and her head while I'm at it.
I'll have to try cleaning people with the vacuum cleaner.
I should retire from this and live a peaceful life.
I shouldn't retire, or even consider a peaceful life.
Why shouldn't I do that?
Because it's a bad joke
And do you know what happens to bad jokes?
Life is a bad joke. It's annoying.
It's all annoying.
But mostly of all, Fat Hands standing at my Zapper's range is annoying.
"Your actions just bought you something your butt can't afford" She said, with a pissed off tone.
Bad jokes get erased.