A/N: Revision of the story I wrote a long time ago. A Syaoran/Tomoyo friendship fic with Sakura/Syaoran, loosely based on scenes from the actual CCS episodes and some that I think could have happened off-camera. Set in the third season of the anime. Enjoy!
Disclaimer: Cardcaptor Sakura is a property of CLAMP, and I don't own any part of it.
*** means a scene change
Without You, Daidouji…
It's kind of a cute sight, I guess: Li-kun in his school clothes, walking self-consciously toward Sakura-chan's house, paper bag of cupcakes tucked in his arms and a look tucked on his face that clearly read that he wasn't sure exactly why he is coming with me to her house, of all people, just 'cause she had missed school today…
Come to think of it, it is a bit of a surprise isn't it? When I had asked him to come with me to her house earlier today at school, I had predicted the panicked and embarrassed reaction my question had elicited, but I didn't think that he would accept my offer so promptly, genuine concern for Sakura's safety conveyed so clearly in his eyes.
At times, it seems just like yesterday when Li-kun had harassed poor Sakura-chan on his first day of school for the Clow Cards in the schoolyard…
"Li-kun, you must care for Sakura-chan very much, ne?"
For the second time today, he is caught completely off-guard, sputtering and stuttering that he doesn't know what I'm talking about. I just smile sweetly at him, knowing that he won't be able to deny the suspicions that have been brewing within me for a while now…
"I-I don't like Kinomoto." On second thought, I suppose he can.
"Li-kun, I never said that you did. Caring for a friend and liking someone are a bit different, now aren't they?"
I succeed in making him blush. I think I see him mentally kicking himself too. Hard. I smile. Ohohoho, this is going to be fun.
"Though I have been seeing you blush around Sakura-chan an awful lot lately…"
This is the final blow, and for a moment, I become afraid that Li will run away and hide from me forever.
"Wha-at? B-blushing? That's just because…….it's hot…and stuff."
I giggle while he mentally throws himself against a wall.
"Hey, Daidouji, you have no idea how heavy my battle attire is!"
I just smile sweetly at him again and reply "I'm sure it is, Li-kun! I was just saying…"
We walk in silence for a minute, Li fidgeting awkwardly while I walk along, feeling totally comfortable. I wait for him to break the silence.
"Daidouji?"
"Yes, Li-kun?"
"Do…Do you think Kinomoto noticed?"
Step one, complete. "Well, what do you think, Li-kun?"
He gives me a rather fearful look, so I decide not to play with this issue.
"No, I'm sure she hasn't noticed at all. Sakura-chan is rather dense about things like these so don't worry!" I give him a big, reassuring smile to which he gives a sigh of relief. Oh I don't know about letting things go just yet, Li…
"Also, don't worry about me telling Sakura-chan or anyone else either. This will be our little secret, ne?"
As expected, he blushes like a red balloon and sputters like a dying engine. "Wha— I—there's nothing to tell—no-no secret—Daidouji!" he yells my name in utter frustration, and I stop and calm him down before he really does run away and hide.
At this point, we have arrived at Sakura's front gate, and I'm a little sad that fun time with Li-kun is over. I press the doorbell, and as we wait for her to answer, I notice Li-kun pouting cutely. Kind of reminds me of Sakura when Touya pushes her buttons.
"I'm sorry, Li-kun. I was just teasing. Don't be frustrated with me."
"No, it's okay. I'm not frustrated," he lies. I can see right through them! But I just simply smile up at him. He really is a kind boy; I can see why Meiling-chan likes him so much.
Suddenly, we hear Sakura yelling out our names, and our heads swivel toward the direction of her bedroom window. I wave up at her, and peripherally, I can see Li-kun's face freak out, flushing to a dangerously red color and looking away immediately. I believe that this has become a rather serious issue.
I shall have a little chat with Li-kun later…
***
"You love her, don't you?"
To my misfortune, Daidouji picks the time to say that right when I swallow, resulting in a five-minute coughing fit. Not a very flattering sight, I decide, when I spy Daidouji hiding her light giggles behind one hand. Uh, why is it always that Daidouji and Hiiragizawa end up seeing this side of me?
After I choke out the last cough, I spin around to face her.
"Wh-what did you say?" I say with the most dignity a stuttering person can muster.
"Oh my, Li-kun, you must tell her!" she exclaims, completely ignoring my previous question.
"Daidouji," I say firmly, looking her straight in the eyes. "What the hell are you talking about," I finish, knowing exactly what she's talking about.
She sighs as if she's talking to five-year-old child and looks back at me, straight in the eyes.
"Look, Li-kun, there's no use hiding it from me; I can read you like a book. I really believe you should tell her your feelings. You should listen to me; if you don't remember, I'm her best friend."
"Look, Daidouji-san, it's really easier said than done. I mean, first of all, she's head over heels in love with Tsukishiro-san, and, second of all, it could all just end up being an attraction to poweragain," I say with a little more exasperation than I had intended to slip.
"Li-kun… I know that everything seems really confusing right now. You think that Sakura-chan is in love with the person you believed you were in love with and all of a sudden, you realize that you like Sakura-chan. But I told you before, I can read you like a book—"
At this, I scoff rather violently—
"And I know that you like her; I can see it. You've put your life in danger countless times for her. You'd do anything to save her, ne?" She giggles as I blush hotly.
She continues, "As for Sakura-chan, I've always had the feeling that her love for Tsukishiro-san is just an infatuation. There's a chance that she might just love you back."
"…How are you sure, Daidouji?" I wince at the crack in my voice. Daidouji sure knows how to catch me at all my wrong moments.
She smiles warmly. "With time, Li-kun, you'll sort out your feelings, and you'll be able to tell her. I'll be here to help you all the way."
Pieces of my conversation with Yue start to come back to me...
I allow myself to crack a soft smile. "Thanks, Daidouji."
"Well, I should be getting back or Okaa-san will worry. See you at school tomorrow, Li-kun."
I nod and mumble a low "Oyasumi."
"Oh, and Li-kun?"
"Aa."
"Please think about what I said."
I scoff one last time as she turns on her heel and starts strolling down the sidewalk towards her home. Daidouji thinks she knows everything, doesn't she? Reminds me of a certain rat named Hiiragizawa Eriol.
***
"Is that for Sakura-chan? It's sooo kawaii!"
I don't think I've ever seen someone jump quite as high as Li-kun did just now. It's a funny sight, seeing composed and confident Li positioned behind a tree and then being scared out of his wits. If I didn't know any better, I would say he's spying on someone. In his hands, he holds a brown, homemade teddy bear, and he spins around, his eyes practically bulging and his whole body tense.
"Don't. Scare. Me. Like. That. Ever. Again."
"Oh my, I'm terribly sorry, Li-kun." That probably would have come out a great deal more convincing if I hadn't been giggling.
Li simply fixes me with a short glare and turns back to continue his spying. I peek around the tree to see Sakura-chan chatting affably with Hiiragizawa-kun. I wonder if he does this often. This is about the second time I've caught him spying on them.
"So… is it for Sakura-chan?"
Li stays silent for a few moments before saying "Whenever I look at it, I see Kinomoto."
I giggle, earning myself a glare. It's just too cute watching him finally admit it.
"Sooo, you like her?"
"…"
Or maybe not.
"The other day… when Yue confronted me and told me about my attraction to Tsukishiro-san, he also told me that I have to look carefully inside and that I'll find what I truly want," Li says quietly, his eyes soft and intense all at the same time.
Interesting. He never mentioned any of this before.
"And did you look?"
He doesn't say anything. It's like trying to talk to a wall sometimes.
"Oh, don't worry, Sakura-san, I'll help you."
We whirl back to the scene before us.
"Are you sure, Eriol-kun? I really don't want to be a bother. I really am terribly bad at math and I just can't seem to get how to do the problems."
"Leave it to me, Sakura-san. I'm actually pretty decent in math, and I'd be delighted to help you."
Well, just to push his buttons…
"Oh wow, it seems as if Hiiragizawa-kun is simply perfect for Sakura-chan! Always appearing like a hero to help her when she needs it!"
From beside me, I hear Li-kun quietly seethe, "I can probably beat his ass at math, the damned idiot."
And I can't help but remark with a rather cheery "It seems the situation has upped again!"
***
I wait, phone to my ear, and arms crossed across my chest. The rings on the other side start, once, twice, thrice. It's pathetic actually, the best friend of the girl I, well, you know, has become my therapist or something—
"Hello, Daidouji residence."
"Oh, uh, hello, may I speak to Daidouji Tomoyo-san?"
"One moment please."
I wait a bit more as the maid calls for Daidouji to pick up the phone.
"Hello, Daidouji Tomoyo speaking."
I hesitate for a few moments. What has Li Syaoran come to, calling Daidouji Tomoyo, of all people, to have a chat about what had happened in that elevator earlier today? Has he no pride? Has he gone insane? Has he—
"Hello?"
"Uh, hello, Daidouji-san?"
"Oh, Li-kun, what a pleasant surprise! I never would've expected you to call!"
Of course, I can just hear her mocking smile through the earpiece.
"Yeah, so, what's up?"
"Li-kun, I've never known you to make small talk."
Sometimes it's more frustrating to talk with Daidouji than it is to try and not strangle Hiiragizawa.
I sigh. "Okay, well, I have to talk to you about something."
"Uh-huh…"
"About Sakura…" And as I had painfully expected with my heart and stomach simultaneously performing flips and flops
"…What did you just say, Li-kun? Did you just say 'SA-KU-RA'? Oh my, how has this come about?" Pathetically, I start to panic at her questions; why, oh why did I call her to tell her about this? Li Syaoran, you are a fool.
"Yeah so—I actually have to go. See ya at school tomorrow!" I say quickly, more than a little bit of my pride chewed on and spit out.
"No, Li-kun, wait! Don't be embarrassed; what happened?"
I take a deep breath and wait a minute for my heart to stop beating so hard. "Well earlier today, when we were stuck in the elevator, strange things happened again. The power went off, and Sakura started stumbling backwards toward a hole that just formed on the floor! I tried to grab a hold of her, but she fell down…I thought she was done for and I felt so useless and guilty and hopeless that I…yelled her name." At this I pause, a fresh wave of emotions from earlier rushing through me.
"Uh-huh." I could just tell by her voice how intently she is listening to me.
I smile. "Fortunately, she used the Float to get back up. A little earlier, she called me to thank me for calling out her name earlier and asked if we can call each other by our first names."
"And then I bet you said 'Do what you want,' ne?"
I think she really can read me like a book. It's scary.
"That's simply wonderful! Now the two of you are on first-name terms, and I know that Sakura must have been so touched to hear that from you…and, I suppose, you have finally come to the realization that you do like her?"
I stay silent, my arms still crossed, and I shrug. And then it occurs to me that she can't see me.
"I don't know."
"Oh, Li-kun, how can you still not know?"
"Don't push it Daidouji. You don't know how confusing this all is for me." I say this with a slight growl to it, though, I really didn't mean for it to come out so harshly. I wince slightly afterwards.
This time, her side of the phone is silent. And rather uncomfortably.
"I'm sorry, Li-kun. I really shouldn't pressure you like that. How can I be such a horrible friend?"
Now I'm feeling guilty. I tell you, she's like a female clone of Hiiragizawa.
"No, Daidouji-san, I'm sorry I snapped at you. It's just… I came to Japan to collect the cards and just do my duty for my family back in Hong Kong. And then I ended up staying longer to help out with these new strange occurrences. I never thought that I could fall, that I could…" I trail off, not sure how to say what I want to without actually admitting it.
After a while, Daidouji says, "I see, Li-kun. It must be difficult indeed. I'm sorry I pushed you."
"It's okay."
"But, Li-kun, just know that there's nothing wrong with falling in love, especially with someone as kind and wonderful as Sakura-chan."
My stomach lurches at her words and my eyes swivel over to the bear resting on my bed. Instantly, Sakura's green eyes and soft smile replace what had been the bear's head.
"…I know."
"And I know that you really do like Sakura-chan."
And I know that she's right.
"Think whatever you want."
"Oh, Li-kun, you are just so kawaii when you act like you don't care."
"And you remind me of Hiiragizawa when you talk like that."
"Well, great minds do think alike."
I scoff.
"I have to go now, Li-kun. I'll see you at school tomorrow, ja ne!"
"Ja."
With a click, she hangs up, leaving me alone, once again, with the nameless teddy bear.
***
"Are you thinking about Sakura-chan?"
I can tell that I've caught him off-guard again. He looks up, eyes wide, and definitely ready to deny anything and everything. Again. It's a pattern between us that's been established by now. I lift one hand to pour some tea for him. He gives a slight nod in thanks.
"Wh-what? No, I mean—"
"No you weren't? Are you sure?" He looks up at me, face bright red, unable to deny any further.
"You were thinking about Sakura-chan, weren't you?" I ask gently as I walk back to my seat.
"Mm." I guess this can count as a yes? You never know with Li-kun.
"You really must like her very much, Li-kun. But you still haven't told her, have you?" I take a sip of my tea, knowing the answer very well. But it's about time we talk about this heart-to-heart, since we've (finally) kind of passed the stage of denial.
Li-kun sits on my sofa, fidgeting rather uncomfortably, like all the other times I pull out the topic of Sakura-chan. I decide that it's a good time to talk about it, with Sakura-chan changing into my new costume for her. He can't go anywhere, and by now, I'm pretty sure he'll stop trying to refute the obvious.
"I…"
"Li-kun, as you must already know, Sakura-chan is very clueless about such things. She will never know unless you tell her."
"But she likes someone else already."
Not with this again.
"So you're not going to tell her, even though you now know your true heart? Besides, lots of people like Sakura-chan very much, since she is just so wonderful and so cute!"
"I know that."
My heart skips a rather nervous beat as I take a sip of tea. I've always assumed Li-kun to be as dense as Sakura-chan… No other way to find out but to ask.
"Well, for instance, who?"
His face scrunches into a slight cringe as he opens his mouth and says "Hiiragizawa."
My stomach flutters in relief as I give him a gentle smile. Now I know he's as dense as Sakura-chan. Time to let Li-kun into some of my insight…
"I think it's a little different with Hiiragizawa-kun. When he looks at Sakura, it looks as if he's watching someone who's very dear to him rather than someone he is in love with. I get a very gentle feeling from him."
The expression on his face still looks a bit dubious, but he gives me the benefit of the doubt. "You really do know a lot…"
I smile at him widely. Knowing that he won't think twice about it, I say, "Of course! It's about Sakura-chan after all."
I turn back to my tea as I say, "I know you're keeping your feelings to yourself, but are you really ok with it, Li-kun? No one will know about them unless you express them yourself."
I ignore a small voice in my head that says Practice what you preach, Tomoyo…
"I'm done changing…"
Both of our heads twist towards the room Sakura had been changing in. Oh my goodness, Sakura-chan is just so kawaii! And Li-kun thinks so too, I can tell from the dumbfounded stare on his face, escorted by a pink blush across his face. Okay, time to give him his chance.
"It looks wonderful! I'll go get my video camera!"
Ganbatte, Li-kun! Who knows when you'll next get a chance…
***
"Man, I can't believe that happened twice," I say, kicking a rock carelessly to the curb, bummed (and tremendously relieved, all at the same time) about being interrupted from telling Sakura. Each attempt took some serious guts and a ridiculous amount of energy. And all that, wasted…
"Yes, it was awfully brutal," my companion says a little mournfully, bummed as well about my failure.
After the said failed attempt, we had walked Sakura home, and now, I'm in the process of walking Daidouji home. Though she would normally tease and prod me, she is quiet right now, knowing just how discouraged I am at the moment, and for that, I'm grateful. Even though it's scary sometimes, I'm glad that she's so perceptive.
"Sakura-chan was very worried, wasn't she?" she asks with a concerned voice. I know it hurts her to have caused Sakura so much worry, as it would me. I nod solemnly, the memory of her on the verge of tears fresh in my mind.
"You were worried about her, weren't you Li-kun?"
I can feel the temperature of my face rising steadily, but this time, I succeed in responding with a simple nod and without freaking out like I usually do. Ha, Daidouji, I am slowly getting the hang of you.
"Were you worried about me?"
I spoke too soon. "Wh-what the heck do you mean?" I sputter out, caught completely off-guard.
She laughs innocently, though I know that she knows I would react like that. Evil.
"Li-kun, admit it. You care about me, ne?"
I can't help but smile as I look away, trying to act like I don't really care. "Of course I care about you, Daidouji. You're my friend," I mutter, half mumbling the last word. Yes, well, it's kind of an embarrassing thing for me to admit to a girl that she's my friend.
"Yes, and you're my friend too, Li-kun," she giggles. A fondness in her voice gives me a warm feeling inside that I did not feel nearly enough while growing up, training and learning magic ever since I can remember, surrounded by my suffocating sisters and Meiling, and under the forceful eye of my mother and the other elders of the clan. It's unfamiliar to me, but I feel myself warming up to it more every day.
"Of course I care about you," I say, this time my voice softening quite a bit. "Without you, Daidouji, how could I ever have come this far?"
Daidouji smiles at me, knowing just how grateful I am towards her and how hard it is for me to express it. We walk on in silence, both feeling a little better and hoping that another chance will come by soon.
***
It's a beautiful autumn day, and the weather is perfect outdoors. Fukada-sensei, the art teacher, made a wonderful decision to let us draw outside today. I spy Li from afar, sitting and concentrating on his drawing. It seems he has chosen the angel statue in the schoolyard. I make my way up to him.
"Too bad about last night."
This surprises him, and he looks up to see who has interrupted his thoughts. When he realizes it's me, he scrambles to his feet and just has to ask "What was?" after our little heart-to-heart last night.
This doesn't bother me though; I've gotten used to him always taking a step forward then taking two steps back. It's actually quite endearing, and many people probably don't know this side of Li-kun.
"You were trying so hard to confess your love to Sakura last night, but Kero-chan interrupted… When are you going to tell her the rest?"
Sometimes, I wonder if I push him too much…but knowing that Li is always keeping himself from advancing, I know that he needs this. We both look up towards the statue as he considers the answer to my question.
"I'm not going to tell her yet. Last night, I was thinking only about telling her somehow…but there is something I have to do first."
He takes a seat in the grass, and I follow suit. "I promised Meiling that she would be my fiancée until I found someone else that I loved the most. So…"
I continue on for him. "You are going to tell Meiling how you really feel now." I spoke too soon about him never advancing! He really is thinking things through about his feelings for Sakura-chan. For him to go to such lengths as opening up to Meiling about his feelings really shows just how determined he is about his love for her. However, this will not be an easy feat…
"I called her last night; I told her that I had something important to tell her, so I wanted to see her."
"What did she say?"
"She asked if it couldn't be over the phone. When I told her that I wanted to see her and tell her, she said that would be fine."
"I see," I say, giving him an encouraging smile.
"I'm going to tell Meiling about it and then… I'll tell her." He gives me a determined look, and I give him a bigger smile, feeling inexplicably proud of Li-kun.
"When are you going to see her?"
"I'll be going back to Hong Kong for winter break, so I'll tell her then—"
Speak of the devil, suddenly Meiling-chan comes running into our line of sight, in front of the statue, yelling "I can't wait that long!"
"Meiling-chan!?" We both scream in surprise, never having expected her to show up out of nowhere like that. Meiling-chan sure is always full of surprises.
The pout on her face dissolves into a smile, happy to see us both.
It seems the situation has upped again...but knowing Meiling-chan, I can't help but be a little fearful for Li-kun.
***
It's a cold autumn day today, in contrast to the nice and cool weather we had the luxury of the day before. It kind of matches my mood actually. Daidouji and I sit together on a bench after school, waiting for Sakura to finish cheer practice and both missing Meiling in our own ways.
"You told Meiling-chan last night?"
"Mm." I don't know what else to say about the issue. I don't even want to talk about it; however, I know that in the end talking to Daidouji will help me feel better. She has that strange effect on people, and I know she helped Meiling in this way last night.
"How did she take it?"
I smile weakly at her. "I know that I can be fooled a lot of times, but I also know Meiling told you about it. She told me she was going to your house last night. So I should be asking you that question since she ran away from me after I told her…"
She smiles sheepishly at me. "I see. I'm sorry about that, Li-kun…" here she pauses and carefully considers her answer. "I think she took it relatively well. She is a very loving and kind person, and I think you've taught her a lot about that, Li-kun."
I smile sadly at her, knowing that she's just being nice. All I've done is hinder and hurt Meiling all her life. "No, I was never able to love her the way she loved me; I couldn't even keep the one promise I made to her. She would have been much happier and much better off without me…"
"Li-kun, you've taught her so much and have done so much for her. Because of you, she learned to love so wholeheartedly and so genuinely. And the only reason she would have loved you so much was because you deserved it. Of course, she may have experienced a broken heart, but that's life…you just live on, knowing, hoping that one day, you'll receive your happy ending, too. Because of you, she will be able to love that person just as deeply."
At that moment, I felt a certain vibe from her voice, one that sounded like maybe she's talking from experience…
"Do you think we'll receive our happy endings?"
For once, it's my question that throws her off, and she blinks up at me in surprise. Her eyes are unreadable, and I really hate being so dense. She can always read my mind; what is she thinking?
Her perplexed expression melts into a reassuring smile. "Of course, Li-kun. We are so young, after all. There's so much more to life than we can see right now, and we can never know what will happen. That's why we must take every opportunity we can get and learn from whatever comes about."
"Daidouji, why do you always sound like a 25 year-old trapped in an 11 year-old body?"
She pushes me good-naturedly and laughs. "I'll take that as a compliment, Li-kun."
"Think whatever you want," we both say at the same time, Daidouji saying it purely to mock me. We both burst out laughing, neither hurt nor irritated and just simply enjoying each other's company.
"What would I do without you, Daidouji?" It comes out without me really thinking about it.
"Well, you would definitely be loveless."
"Psh, I would have gotten by somehow. Like you said, we're only 11."
"True, true. But you can't really "get by" with Sakura-chan. She is much too dense. Like you." That last part she says with a playfully snide tone.
"True, true," I mock her, when something strange suddenly hits me as I think about what she just said. "Daidouji…I can't imagine liking anyone else but Sakura. If I even try imagining my life without her, it feels so strange and just…not right."
Her expression softens and she gives me a smile that's all shades of warm, encouraging, sad and reflective all mingling together. "Yes, I imagine that's what it feels like to be in love. That is why you mustn't let this chance go by. And that is also why I'm helping you. Sakura-chan deserves someone who cherishes her so much and loves her for purely Sakura-chan. I trust you with my very best and precious friend, Li-kun. You should be highly honored – and if you break her heart—"
She stops at this and gives me a rather frightening expression. Despite this, I can't help but really do feel honored and lucky to have such a friend as Daidouji. If only I can help her in the same way...come to think of it, who does she like?
"Daidouji?"
"Yes?"
"Who—"
"Tomoyo-chan! Syaoran-kun!"
We look up as Sakura runs toward us, cheeks flushed from practice and excited to see us. I push the question to the back of my mind, hoping it will come up again later when I get the chance.
***
"I'm really glad Sakura-chan is back to her usual cheerful self."
And it is all thanks to the boy walking in step beside me, behind the smiling Sakura-chan, Tsukishiro-san, and Sakura's onni-san. He agrees quietly, the relief evident on his face as his eyes watch over Sakura-chan.
We are all at the Tsukimine shrine for the festival that Sakura invited us all to. Sakura had recently gone through some difficulty after getting rejected by Tsukishiro-san who had finally revealed to her that her feelings were not romantic ones but ones that resembled those she held for her father. Li-kun, however, had helped her to cheer up, to the gratitude of those who knew about it.
"You still haven't told Sakura-chan, Li-kun? That is, about how you really feel?"
He eyes the ground sadly, and I can't help but feel crestfallen with him.
"If I tell her, she will be troubled. She liked him for all this time, yet he liked someone else. But she didn't cry so that she wouldn't trouble him. She knows very well how it feels when you like someone that doesn't like you back. If I tell her, she will be troubled because she'll be worrying about how I feel. And that's why…" he heaves a heavy sigh and continues, "…I'm not going to tell her."
To the very end, he worries for Sakura-chan, and for very thoughtful reasons, too. He has thought long and hard about this decision. And yet, I just know from the bottom of my unusually precise intuition that he is making a mistake.
"Li-kun," I start to say before Sakura yells our names and waves to us, signaling for us to hurry up. "Coming," I say, and walk ahead towards her, not wanting to make her wait. I'll finish up my thoughts at a more opportune time.
***
"This is Sakura-chan's doing, isn't it?"
I answer Daidouji's question with a nod and reply "It's the Glow Card."
Presently, thousands of tiny glowing orbs of green light are floating down from the sky like snow onto the crowd, saving the festival from being called off after the enchanted horse had cut off all the electricity. Though I'm not one to admit these kinds of things, it really is beautiful. Sakura truly has proven herself as the Card mistress; her intuition with the cards has developed significantly, and I can admit that she was meant to be the Cardcaptor and not me.
Who knew that the unconfident Kinomoto from the beginning of our journey would someday make the prideful Li Syaoran eat his words?
I let one of the orbs fall onto my open palm, and I gaze down at it. Suddenly, I miss having Sakura's presence beside me, though I know she's not far, also enjoying the spectacle that her magic has created. I want to be the one to enjoy it with her. Oh, what a fool I've become…
"Li-kun."
A voice breaks me out of my thoughts, and I look up towards the owner.
"You truly are a kind person, Li-kun so I can understand why you think that you don't want to make Sakura-chan sad. But Sakura-chan is not someone that keeps sad things in her heart forever. I'm sure that even if you were to tell her your feelings, she would be able to accept those feelings and give you an answer that is most like her."
She smiles kindly at me, like she always does, and somewhere in my heart, I know that I can trust her and that she's right…
I look back down onto the orb, a small glimmer of hope that glows so that the prideful and foolish and reluctant Li Syaoran may finally declare his feelings to Sakura. My hand closes over it, the light still shining through the cracks between my fingers. Now realizing that Sakura handles every situation that takes place in the loving and optimistic way that I have come to love, I resolve right then and there to tell Sakura the next opportunity that comes.
As she would say, everything will be alright…
***
"I presume you've told Sakura-chan?"
He only gives me a slight nod, the rest of his movements despondent and listless and his eyes staring off into space. I stare into the same direction, for the first time, a little unsure of what to say as well. He had just accomplished what we both had been working towards all this time—and his worst fears came true.
"I think that's just wonderful. Li-kun, you finally did it, and I'm so relieved and proud for you. Did she make any kind of response?"
He gives me a weak smile, but I can tell it's forced. My heart aches for both Sakura-chan and Li-kun…
"No. I know she's not replying because she doesn't want to hurt me. It's been so awkward and uncomfortable between us the past two days—I don't know how much more of it we can handle…" his voice sounds devoid of emotion, but I know that he's bottling it all up in his heart.
"You can't just assume that. What if she's considering her answer? She's probably never considered her feelings for you in that way until now. I know what Sakura-chan is like; she doesn't look at things in a certain way until something happens to make her analyze them. You just have to give her time, Li-kun. You did not realize your feelings overnight, either." Which is quite true.
He looks at me then smiles a sad and painful smile. I can do nothing but smile one back at him. It's all up to time and Sakura-chan now.
"Thank you, Daidouji. I'm really happy that I was able to meet you. Even though I was cold to you and a jerk to your best friend, you still accepted me and became my friend. You're always so caring and selfless to those around you. You even thought of my happiness and helped me to sort out my feelings for Sakura and eventually helped me finish the impossible task of telling her. Without you, I don't know how Sakura or I would have been able to finish this journey…"
Though all this is very touching, for some reason, I get a strange vibe from his words…
"Li-kun, are you trying to say good-bye?"
He does a double-take at me and looks away toward the area he had been staring at before. "N-no. I just wanted to say thank you because everything is finally done."
I give him a look that says that I don't believe him.
"If you're leaving, you know you have to tell her, right? She has the right to know and you have the right to her answer," I almost plead to him. Would he just run away at a time like this?
He stays quiet and just keeps staring. After a few moments, he looks at me with an unreadable expression.
"Daidouji, you've worried for me enough. I just want you to be able to rest now; what needed to be done is done and I can never thank you enough for it. That's all."
I feel a little reassured, but I don't know if he is telling the truth or not. When we part ways today, I feel a little uneasy and unsure of what's going on.
Sure enough, the next day at the choir performance, I hear from Terada-sensei that Li-kun is returning to Hong Kong permanently! I rush past the crowds to the nearest payphone, drop some coins into the slot and dial the number for Sakura-chan's house. Oh, Li-kun, when is the next time I will see you?
The phone rings once, twice before I hear Sakura's voice saying "Hello, Kinomoto residence."
"Sakura-chan!" I say, glad to have gotten a hold of her.
"Oh Tomoyo-chan, what's wrong? I thought today was the choir—"
"I heard from Terada-sensei who came to cheer for us. Apparently, Li-kun is going back to Hong Kong on the 11:00 flight today! He said that Li will not be returning to Tomoeda Elementary anymore."
I wait for her response, but I receive none.
"Sakura-chan can you hear me? Sakura-chan? Sakura-chan?"
I hang up, hoping and praying that the reason Sakura-chan didn't answer me is because she's on her way to the airport. I don't know if she has realized her answer yet, but she must at least see him off, someone who is so important to her... If she loses this chance, who knows when will fate bring them together again…
***
Who knew fate would bring me here again so soon? It's almost surreal, standing under a tree in a park back in Tomoeda, watching Meiling and Sakura sitting on the swings and chatting like old friends, and, once again, side by side with Daidouji. The tension in the air is almost too much for me, and I can't bear to think of the answer that Sakura might have for me by now…
"Are the schools in Hong Kong on summer break as well?" Daidouji asks in her usual polite manner. After months of not seeing each other, it is a bit difficult reverting back to our old, honest and comfortable manner.
"Yeah. Meiling suddenly said she wanted to come to Japan so we came."
"Well, Tomoeda is holding a festival soon, after all."
And my suspicions that Daidouji had something to do with all this are confirmed.
"Daidouji, you've been exchanging e-mails with Meiling, haven't you?"
"Yes."
"Were you the one that invited Meiling to come to Japan?" I can't help but say this with an accusing tone.
Fortunately, she is unfazed. "Did I trouble you?" This is accompanied by an innocent smile. Of course, she was only trying to help…
"No, it's just…"
"You did want to see Sakura-chan again, didn't you?"
Though the months have passed, I can always count on Daidouji to ask such direct and straightforward questions. I realize that I missed that about her, always knowing just what to say and ask.
I blush a little at her previous question and avoid her eyes. "Of course I did…" My eyes turn back to Sakura, the person whom I had longed to see for so long, it almost hurts to be able to actually look at her. "But me being here will trouble her because…now she'll feel like she has to give me an answer."
I stare at her as she's swinging next to Meiling, unaware that we're talking about her.
"Li-kun, I see you haven't changed, still always concerned about Sakura-chan over yourself."
I smile, a bit nostalgically. "And I see you haven't changed either, Daidouji, cunning as always. I never thought that you would be able to bring me back here so soon…"
"Well, you never got your answer, Li-kun and you deserve that, at least. I know you and Sakura-chan always need a bit of a push and that's what Meiling and I are doing for you two."
I smile at her, despite my nervousness at the thought of her answer. "Thanks, Daidouji…but," I cast another anxious glance at Sakura, "is she ready?"
"Don't worry about that. I'm sure she'll tell you when the time is right. All you need to do is be Li-kun."
I open my mouth to reply when we hear "—but I have something to do with Daidouji-san."
We both turn to Meiling, and Daidouji suddenly says "Oh that's right!" in a rather exaggerated voice.
"Sorry," Meiling apologizes to Sakura, and I'm a little confused about what's going on. "No, it's my fault for bringing it up so suddenly."
Then, my head adds two and two a little too late, and I just stand and listen as Meiling leans in and says to Sakura, a little conspiratorially, "Then would you mind treating Syaoran to dinner?"
Both Sakura and I freak out, our hair standing on end in surprise, as we both yell out "WHAT?!" I never did learn: never put your guard down around Daidouji, especially when your cousin is starting to act and think like her!
***
"Daidouji!"
I hear a male voice calling from the distance, the sound of it getting closer with every second. I turn around from organizing the mess that the Sealed Card had caused before we'd all disappeared to see a disheveled Li-kun, in the matching costume that I had made for him along with Sakura, running towards me at full speed. He looks happier and more excited than I could ever imagine seeing him, and my heart warms for I know that he must've finally received his answer.
I smile warmly at him. "Li-kun! I see that you've returned safely with my costume on—"
I stop short as his arms wrap me into an embrace, and for a moment I stand still, shocked at the sudden unexpected action. Then, as my senses return to me, I return the hug, relishing with him in this moment of true joy.
"Sakura said she loved me. That I'm her number one…" He pulls back from me and gives me the most tender and grateful look his serious face could ever muster. I giggle a little and return the smile.
"Yes, I can see that. Where is Sakura-chan, by the way? I wanted to see you two coming back together so I could film your victorious and romantic return!"
At this, a small sweat drop hangs from his forehead as he replies "She went to go check up on her family and guardians. She'll be here soon. But I wanted to tell you the news and…" His expression softens back as he gives me a smile, "…to thank you Daidouji. None of this would have been possible without you."
I can only smile back. "As long as my two friends are happy…Thank you, Li-kun, for loving my very precious friend Sakura-chan so genuinely and wholeheartedly. You have made her happy, and so I'm happy." Unable to help it, a small tear escapes from my eye as I relay these precious feelings to Li, and I also can't help but feel a little embarrassed.
Li-kun doesn't say anything and, being the modest boy he is, shakes his head. "I can only love her like that because she's Sakura. And without you, Daidouji, we never would have been able to find each other…" I know that is not necessarily true, but hearing his voice laced with such love and sincerity, I don't say anything and simply enjoy this moment with Li-kun, my very precious friend.
End
A/N: Got a bit too sugary at the end, I think…but here it was. Here are the episodes that the scenes are based off of:
Scene 1: episode 49
Scene 4: episode 57
Scenes 5, 6: episode 59
Scenes 7,8: episode 60
Scenes 9, 10: episode 67
Scene 11: episode 70
Scenes 12, 13: "The Sealed Card" movie
Thank you for reading!