Matthew was breathless as he approached Downton Abbey, although the burning in his chest was nothing compared to the growing and uncontrollable anxiety he felt in his whole body since he heard the news. Lady Mary has fallen during her walk. Pregnant Lady Mary has stumbled over a root and fell on the hard and hostile ground.
Hundreds of images had run into his head since he left his mother's house, where he was having tea with Isobel, as soon as Cora called to tell them what happened. He borrowed the bicycle he no longer used and pedalled as fast he could, hating himself for leaving Mary alone during the probably most stressful time of her life.
He could still hear his mother-in-law's words: "Mary is fine, but you should come now. Doctor Clarkson is with her." What if something happened to the baby? He never could forgive himself, and never should have forgotten that for the next four months, she was vulnerable, even if she would hate to admit it.
Matthew let his bicycle fall on the gravel-covered ground, and barely noticed Carson, who was standing next to the door. The butler was probably as worried as him about Mary, but he didn't let his emotions taking control of him. Matthew, on the contrary, was a bundle of nerves. His hands were shaking, and every step he climbed to get to the bedrooms floor seemed as huge as a mountain.
His blurry sight distinguished a man's silhouette going out of the room he shared with Mary, closing the door behind him. Doctor Clarkson was now talking to Cora and Robert, but all Matthew could hear for the moment was the unusually quick beating of his heart. Taking his hat off, he held it into his shaking hands and walked towards the group.
"Matthew, thank God you are here," Cora said as she put her hand on his shoulder. She couldn't help but notice how pale he was, and imagine how painful the last hour must have been for him. The couple was hoping for this miracle child for so long by now.
"Lady Mary and the baby are both fine, the only damage is her sprained ankle," Doctor Clarkson announced while looking at Matthew, who breathed in deeply in order to calm down. But he knew he wouldn't be completely reassured before seeing Mary, maybe then he would acknowledge that she was alright. "She's been very stressed out and panicked after the event, now she's tired, but mostly relieved."
"As we all are," Matthew said as he offered a small smile to the doctor, before thanking him and knocking on the door. His hands were still shaking as he opened it. Mary was lying on their bed, the covers on her, and her hair a bit messy. She was more than beautiful, but seemed utterly exhausted. He closed the door, and stepped forward.
"Hello, Darling," Matthew told while he sat on the edge of their bed, taking her hand. It was as shaking as his. "How are you feeling?"
"Oh, Matthew," she said in a low voice, and squeezed his hand. "I feel so dumb. I only wanted to go for a walk, I couldn't stand staying in the house anymore. I asked Anna to go with me, and fortunately she was: she helped me going back to Downton. My ankle was hurting, but all I could think about was the baby. I can't imagine if we lost it."
"But we didn't, Doctor Clarkson said everything was fine," Matthew answered, looking at her tears-filled eyes. Seeing her like this was heart-breaking, and he promised himself to do everything to protect her, to shield her from any possible harm. He would stand by her on every single minute of the next four months.
"Do you hate me, Darling?" Mary asked as she wiped her tears with her handkerchief. One of the things she hugely feared after losing their precious baby was Matthew's reaction, and how disappointed he would be when hearing about what happened. Matthew smiled, and stroked her wet cheek.
"How could I?" he answered, feeling relief for the first time since he left Isobel's house. He chuckled, and his left hand caressed her now obvious baby bump. "I love you too much to hate you one day, Mary."
She smiled at his words, and simply enjoyed the touch of his hands against her cheek and abdomen. She closed her eyes, thinking about how happy they both were, and how happier they would be in a few months.
"You need to rest," Matthew said before kissing her forehead longer than necessary. She was safe, and this was the only thing that mattered to him at this moment. He made a move in order to stand up, but he stopped when he felt her hand on his knee.
"Would you mind staying with me?" Mary asked, almost certain that he wouldn't say no. She needed him to stand by her, only then she would be able to relax and forget the anxiety and guilt that plagued her since she fell.
"Of course," he replied, kissing the back of her hand. He took his shoes off and climbed on the other side of the bed. Mary nestled against him, whispering a small 'thank you', and without him noticing, she fell asleep. Glancing at her, Matthew smiled at how peaceful she looked, and he wrapped his arm around her. His free hand resting on her belly, he felt his eyes closing. Maybe he could use some rest too.
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