By the time she sat down in one of the two empty seats in the booth, they knew something was up.
She hadn't bopped Naruto on the head, hadn't sent Sasuke a shy smile, hadn't reprimanded Sai for his eternal fail in social skills, hadn't rolled her eyes at the fact that Kakashi had yet to show his tardy face and the lame-ass excuses that came with it.
She was smiling. And that wasn't a scary fact in itself, because Sakura often smiled when she greeted them, when she gave them bento, when she was happy because of what they said or did, when she was about to hug them and kiss them on the cheek—okay. Enough. She is Sakura. Teammate! Mind out of gutter!
Instead, it was the smile that she graced them whenever she was about to unleash her hell-hath-no-fury-than-a-woman-scorned fist on them.
But her hands weren't twitching. Nor was there a noticeable tick on her cheek. Apparently the situation was safe?
Or not. The smile remained until she sat down and slowly ate her ramen. The other three were too scared, and were waiting for the proverbial bomb to explode and smash them into itty-bitty unrecognizable specks of dust that would be a disgrace worthy of the loser that was once called Orochimaru.
It was Sasuke who twitched at this thought, and if it weren't for the fact that Sakura was still eating her ramen—slowly—Naruto and Sai would have clutched their sides while laughing at the twitching dude in his face.
As it was, they could just watch the last string of noodle disappear into Sakura's mouth. Their eyes were glued to the napkin she used to wipe her mouth.
Their eyes widened some more. The…smile? was still there. Or a smirk, perhaps, that was rather worthy of Sasuke.
She opened her mouth, and the three visibly braced themselves.
Then she giggled. And her voice went all story-like, "So guys, I was walking in the streets this morning and guess what I saw everywhere?"—she didn't wait for the dumbfounded boys to close their mouths and suck in breath enough to reply to her—"girls clutching the arms of guys! Oh it was so cute!"
Naruto, even if he was Naruto, could still sense the uber amount of unresolved sexual tension between Sakura and his so-called best-friend. He nudged Sasuke and none too subtly waggled his eyebrows at him.
Sasuke glared at him. For even if he liked her—not loved her, duh—he was Sasuke, and Sasuke needed at least a period of seven to ten years before he would acknowledge it to himself, then to Naruto, then to Sakura, then to Konoha, etc. End of the line is, these things needed a process!
Sakura saw their interaction and sighed. "Naruto, no, it wasn't like that. The girls were with their gay BFFs. Get it? Gay BFFs."
Silence.
We were wrong to assume the proverbial bomb was already set off! This is it! This is it! Brace yourselves!
"So I was wondering if one of you would become my gay BFF." Sakura said simply, still smirking.
Silence.
Sakura huffed, "Oh come on, close your mouths, all of you look like fishes! Naruto? Will you be my gay BFF?"
Naruto spluttered, "S-SAKURA-CHAN? N-NOO! WHAT EVER IN ANBU TORTURE METHODS MADE YOU THINK THAT? ME. GAY? WHAT THE—"
And as Naruto continued to rant and tried to soothe his bruised ego, Sakura turned to Sasuke.
"No." Plain and simple.
"Didn't even let me speak." Sakura pouted and mumbled under her breath, then turned around to face Sai.
"You know what I'm going to ask."
Sai had an unperturbed expression on his face. "Well, Ugly, as long as it makes you happy, I guess."
Sakura squealed and attached herself to Sai's right arm. Sasuke turned blue as memories best forgotten returned to the surface of his mind.
Sakura forcefully pulled Sai from his seat, kissed him on the cheek and led him outside Ichiraku. "I knew I could rely on you! Thank you for being my gay boyfriend forever!"
Sasuke froze at that pronouncement.
Naruto stopped yelling and screaming to the air. "Wha-What is Sakura-chan talking about? Doesn't BFF mean best friend fore—?Teme? Hey, Teme! Where are you going?"
But Sasuke was already out the door. "Sakura! I'll be your gay boyfriend forever!"
There was audible silence once more.
Until Sakura broke it, "Did you hear that, Kakashi-sensei? Did you get that on tape, Ino-pig?"
The chorus of "OH YES WE SO DID!" was the final seal on Sasuke's death sentence.
Ino was cackling, holding the camcorder as if it was precious glass, and Kakashi looked forlorn, sticking his hands into his pockets, perhaps looking for money to fork over.
Inside, Naruto began to guffaw, rolling on the floor without abandon.
Sai just looked confused. And decided against asking Sasuke what he meant by his earlier pronouncement.