I do not own Kingdom Hearts, or any of the other copyrighted things mentioned in this story etc. etc. etc

Enjoy, you guys :)

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I had walked by it so many times before, but for some reason it seemed to be much more obvious now. It was almost as if the store was the only one on the street, and I was the only bystander; but at the same time I couldn't help but feel like every single creature on that street was staring at me as I awkwardly gazed into the windows. I went so far as to look around, half expecting all of the people walking by to hurriedly look away and continue what they were doing, but of course there was absolutely no one watching me. Everyone was wrapped up in their own little worlds with their own little problems. No one could care less about a 19 year-old kid (isn't that funny that I still call myself a kid?) standing in front of "Blush" with an uncomfortable expression marring his features.

With a large exhale, I decided that nobody gave a shit about whether or not I walked into this shop, and with this resolve I opened the door. A jingle cued the rest of the patrons in to the fact that someone else had walked into the store. I flinched, expecting dozens of pairs of accusing eyes to turn in my direction and stare daggers at me, making me feel guilty for even coming inside. Of course, this was the irrationality kicking in again. Nobody cared.

As I trudged farther inside the shop, I wandered over to the products lining the wall on the left side of the room. This seemed to be the area for the gag gifts (among other things). I found a bunch of boob-shaped paraphernalia ranging from pasta to pin cushions. I walked by water bottles in the shape of a penis and had to put a hand over my mouth to contain my laughter. I still feared drawing attention to myself in any way, shape or form. As I walked farther into the store, I saw what the store was really for.

Candy thongs, gummi bras, whipped cream, flavored lube, etc. etc. etc. It was like a fucking porno's goldmine. Farther back I came across the toys. Oh the toys. I felt myself begin to sweat, and wondered if the room had suddenly gotten a bit warmer since I'd first entered. The toys for women only mildly interested me, as I had pretty much come to terms with the fact that I was about as straight as a rainbow. A flaming rainbow. That was a little more accurate. My eyes flicked from one thing to another; a vibrator in the shape of a koala, a giant pink dildo, a toy in the shape of a tongue. A tongue? Seriously? Holy shit ladies! Then I came across the more hardcore items. There were strap-ons of various shapes and sizes, a whole section of bondage gear (complete with pink, fuzzy handcuffs), and a swing. Yes a swing. There were plenty of pictures on the box illustrating the various ways in which it could be used. Mildly arousing, yes. Oh so mildly.

I swear my nose almost started bleeding when I turned a corner and came face-to-face with a large poster that looked like it shoulda come right out of Playgirl magazine. There was, right in front of me, a blown up picture of a naked (very VERY naked) man, spread eagle for the world to see. And boy was he a sight to see. What I wouldn't give to have a private session with that piece of… wait. What am I thinking? I am so perverted sometimes it scares me. Ugh. If my friends only knew, oh if my FAMILY knew?!? How embarrassing. I hated how my mind always drifted to people I knew when I found myself suffering from "dirty fantasies" and such. It just made everything so awkward, thinking about how people you see on a day-to-day basis when you're doing something (or thinking about something) that's just downright… dirty.

I figured that I must've stepped into a "different" part of the store when I came across that poster (if you catch my drift). This room made the one up front seem almost innocent. There was aisle after aisle of DVDs with titles such as "Cum Closer" or "Legs Wide Open" or other clever titles such as these. I chuckled to myself, almost as if I had just shared a joke with someone, while in reality it was pretty much just me back there. I decided I should probably just head home, it was a feat in itself that I had managed to even come inside this store, let alone stay for so long. I doubted I'd have the guts to buy anything. Why was this all so awkward for me? I'm sure other guys had no problem going out and buying a bunch of sex paraphernalia without giving it a second thought. They probably didn't feel this uncomfortable.

With a sigh I started towards the front door. Maybe I'd come back another time, when I wouldn't feel so embarrassed about getting anything. Maybe some of that flavored lube for if I ever find a boyfriend, or perhaps just a vibrator to keep myself occupied until then. Ha ha. I must look so lonely coming into this kind of place by myself. I walked by an older lady reading a magazine at the cash register. If my senses hadn't already been numbed by pretty much everything in the building then I probably would have had a moment over the fact that this lady looked like she could have grandchildren and was reading a magazine that would give a nun a heart attack. I was almost to the door, almost safe, almost to the point when I could shake all of this off as a dream when the worst imaginable thing that could ever happen occurred.

"Roxas?"

I stopped. I could seriously die right here and now. Not only am I in a sex shop by myself where complete strangers can look at me and judge me and think that I must be a dirty, dirty boy whose mother didn't raise him right who must have nasty thoughts going through his mind like a speeding train on crack, but someone recognized me.

I tried to keep walking, hoping that it was a mistake. Roxas was a common name wasn't it? If I could lie to myself long enough to get out of here then everything would be ok; but of course fate wouldn't have it that way.

I felt a hand on my shoulder and flinched. A firm grasp turned me around and I was suddenly staring into bright green eyes.

This must be a nightmare. There is no possible way this situation could get any worse.

Standing in front of me was a tall, thin man wearing red converses, tight black jeans with a studded belt that hung tantalizingly over his hips, a white wife-beater, and a red zip-up hoodie that was open, as it wasn't too cool outside anymore. His hair was bright red and wildly growing in every direction, but still somehow looked amazingly good (and damn sexy). Those piercing green eyes were enhanced with the slightest bit of eyeliner that one could probably only see if they were as close as I happened to be right now. Identical tattoos of upside-down tear drops rested under each eye. Despite the fact that I was slowly melting into a puddle of self-loathing I had the time to think to myself how much that must've hurt.

"H-hey Axel," I managed to stutter out. This situation had hit rock bottom, might as well just play along and pick up the pieces of my shattered ego later.

"Wow Roxas, I'd have never pegged you as the type to come into a store like this!" he stated with an excited gleam in his eye, like a child who had just been told a huge secret, one that was just too good to keep.

I just moaned internally. There was no way this could end good for me. Of all the people I could have run into (though preferably I would have like to run out of here without anyone recognizing me at all and pretend I had never walked into this godforsaken store) it had to be him.

Axel was a student at Twilight Town University, like myself. He was a senior however, and I a lowly freshman. We met on the first day of fall semester in a world literature class that we both shared. I had taken the class as a requirement for my major, but Axel was just trying out a few new classes now that he was almost ready to graduate. He was a 4th year film major who had only had a few upper division classes left to complete this semester. So, he had to find some way to occupy his time (and be sure he had enough units to remain a full-time student). And that's how our paths became intertwined.

I distinctly remember the first day of class. I had gotten there about twenty minutes early, as it was my first class on my first day of college. I couldn't help but feel excited about this new chapter of my life that was just beginning, and I was so used to getting up early back in high school where we had to be ready to learn at seven o'clock every fucking day. So there I was, on the third floor of the north liberal arts building in room 328, waiting to begin my life as a college student. Just as the professor was about to begin taking roll, the door burst open and all of the students (myself included) whipped their heads around to see someone stumble into the room out of breath. As the mysterious intruder looked up, I was amazed by his bright green eyes; they were almost catlike. And by those crazy tattoos underneath them, holy FUCK that must've hurt! The next craziest thing had to be the guy's hair, it was bright red, like SERIOUSLY red. There was no way that color could be natural. And he styled it so unusually, but it seemed to fit with his personality. His hair was pushed back from his face, but it was in long, unruly spikes. It kinda looked like the guys' head was on fire.

The professor simply raised an eyebrow. It seemed she had been unfazed by this entire experience. "That was quite an entrance," was all she stated before looking down to the sheet of paper in her hands.

As if he had not just dashed into the classroom panting and looking as if he had woken up five minutes ago, the newcomer straightened up and ran a hand through his hair as he smiled at her and replied, "First impressions are the ones that count, right?"

"I doubt you impressed anyone running in here like a lunatic. Now please, take a seat so I can begin," our persnickety professor stated curtly.

The green-eyed man simply smirked and shrugged as he shuffled forward. He walked past my desk and glanced down at me. It was only then that I realized that I'd been staring at him this entire time. Embarrassed, I looked away, but I could feel a blush creeping onto my cheeks. Even though I wasn't looking directly at him anymore, I could swear that he smirked at me; a knowing smirk that just seemed to irk me that much more. And of course he would take the desk right next to mine even though there were dozens of empty seats all around. What happened to the unspoken rule that you sit at least one seat away from someone unless you know them? Well, that's how the rest of my classes seemed to function (as I would later discover). Now I was going to be subjected to this torture, this incredibly hot torture for an entire semester.

After the first day of formalities which included roll (the only time the entire semester that our professor actually cared that we were there), the course description, and a basic outline for the rest of the semester, the class turned out to be very enjoyable. We had a lot of days in which we would simply work on questions regarding whatever book we had been reading at the time, and most everyone who actually went to class would usually just work with their friends to make things easier.

The first time we had one of these days we had just read Chronicles of a Death Foretold and had been given about twenty-five questions asking us to analyze certain things that took place during the story. I had planned to just work on the assignment myself, as I usually got more done that way, and none of my friends were in this class with me. My twin brother Sora was an art major, and therefore had his days filled with classes for painting and sketching models for hours. We were close, but we didn't feel the need to organize our schedules together. We both had the attitude that we'd pretty much just do what we want, and if the situation arises that we can hang together then cool. Sora was rooming with Riku, his best friend-turned boyfriend. I was constantly thankful that my room wasn't anywhere near theirs. My roommate was a friend of mine from high school named Hayner. He was alright. I wouldn't consider him my best friend, but then again I didn't really consider anyone my best friend. I mean, I had a lot of good friends, but there wasn't one that stuck out more than the others. Sora was probably the most important person in my life; I mean we're twins for crying out loud. We're both just so in tune with each other, it would seem wrong for me to put anyone else on that level.

Anyway, so I was just sitting there, minding my own business and scribbling notes in the margins of my copy of Chronicles of a Death Foretold when I was shaken from my reverie by the sound of a desk scraping across the linoleum floor. The red-haired, green-eyed guy from the first day had dragged his desk in front mine so that they were now pressed together, facing each other. I looked up to see him smiling at me.

"Hi," was all he said, a wide grin spreading onto his face.

"Hi," I replied, sounding disinterested. It's not like I wasn't interested, I mean this guy was HOT, but when I'm working I really just don't appreciate other people inside my bubble, no matter now mouth-wateringly attractive they may be.

"Axel," he stated as he held out his hand for a handshake.

Returning the gesture, rather awkwardly, I replied, "Roxas" and went back to taking notes.

"Roxas, huh? Now there's a name I haven't heard before," he stated thoughtfully. I had to admit, this guy's voice was even somewhat sexy. It was almost like a purr, making me think of a cat once again. I don't know how the hell I managed to get this guy's attention, but I was thankful for it regardless.

"My parents wanted to be different I guess, which doesn't really make sense when you consider the fact that my brother's name is Sora."

"You have a brother? So is he as cute as you?"

I stopped. Did he just call me cute? I knew for a fact that my cheeks had turned scarlet.

"Aww Roxie you're even cuter when you blush!" Axel exclaimed delightedly.

Was this guy for real? "Roxie?" I asked. I've known this guy for five seconds and he's already given me a horrible nickname that I knew would stick. "Did you just come over here to hit on me?" I asked, my frustration overtaking my attraction.

"Kind of. I also wanted to know if you wanted to do this shit together," he replied. This guy was something else. He could switch gears from being flirty to normal without ever seeming as if anything had changed. Was he that good, or was that just how he was all the time?

"Uh sure, I guess," I replied. I'm horrible at making new friends, everyone just assumes I'm disinterested or weird. I'm just not good at opening up to people until I've gotten to know them a little better and see how they tick. Of course Axel is so forward that this was a wall that he pretty much shattered when he opened his mouth to speak to me.

"Perfect! Now tell me what the fuck she means when she wants us to explain..."

And that's how we met. Every Monday and Wednesday of the fall semester I would see him and he would wave and say, "Hey Roxas!" and we would spend the period talking, or occasionally doing work. He told me about his friends and the crazy shit they did and I just listened and laughed. He would ask me about my friends and I'd tell him, but I'd always feel slightly inadequate. Axel's life sounded so much more interesting than mine, and I felt that my stories paled in comparison to the ridiculous situations that he and his friends found themselves in constantly, like when his friend Demyx suggested they sneak into the school's pool at three o'clock in the morning to go skinny dipping after having a little too much booze. Basically the two of them had done it, but the campus security had heard a commotion and come over to investigate. Suddenly the lights in the pool had turned on and Demyx and Axel had leapt out of the pool and frantically searched for somewhere to hide. Axel had managed to squeeze into the space between a vending machine and the wall, while Demyx dove into a pile of Styrofoam weights for an aqua aerobics class, just before the security guard entered the pool area. He looked around and assumed he had been hearing things, until he found their discarded clothes by the side of the pool. He walked over and picked them up questioningly, and then turned around and left. After a few minutes, the two of them came out of their hiding places and stared at each other before bursting into laughter. So the two of them hopped into Demyx's car, stark naked, and drove to their apartment.

I never did crazy shit like that, but still it was so… thrilling. Although he would ask questions about me, or my friends, or my family, I always felt as if I was boring him. He was probably feigning enthusiasm when I talked about going to the beach with my friends over summer, or when I talked about Sora, or my parents, or anything about myself. I couldn't see how this guy, this senior who was amazingly good-looking, and funny, and interesting could be interested in someone so average and dull as yours truly.

And he was always flirting with me, or making some sort of sexual comment. I couldn't tell if he was really gay, or if he was just messing with me. I'd explain some literary concept to him and he'd reply with something like, "Sorry babe can you repeat that? I was too busy thinking about how beautiful your eyes look today" or "Roxas you gotta get out more often. Let's hang out this weekend, I'll show you a good time." I always laughed and shrugged off his come-ons, assuming that it was just something he did. Still, I enjoyed the attention.

It was after a while that I realized that I really liked Axel. I mean, more than just feeling slightly flattered whenever he flirted with me. I found myself daydreaming about him, wondering what it would feel like if he held me, if he kissed me… and then I'd blush profusely and Axel would make some comment about how I must be thinking dirty thoughts and I should tell him what they were so that he could help.

He would constantly ask if there were any girls I liked. He'd say "C'mon Roxas, I bet chicks would DIE to go out with a stud like you!" and I would just conveniently avoid the subject. I was still having difficulty with my sexuality. For years I had felt like something was wrong with me. I never was as enthusiastic about girls as the rest of my friends; I always just considered them friends. When we all started going through puberty I would just pretend to be interested when the guys would talk about sex with girls, or seeing them naked, or whatever. It was the stories they had about themselves that always made me feel excited. I found myself getting nervous during gym when there were tons of guys in one room that were naked, or changing, or something. I constantly found myself having to hurriedly remove myself before it became obvious that the situation was making me… aroused.

It's not that I was afraid to tell Axel that I thought I might be gay, okay well maybe I was. I just didn't want to ruin what we had. What a killjoy if I were to tell him that I liked guys and he would begin to treat me different. He'd feel uncomfortable around me, slowly distancing himself until the point where the two of us could pass each other on the street and he wouldn't even bat an eyelid. But this was just my imagination getting the best of me again.

Despite the exciting prospect of new classes and a month off from school, I was truly sad to go when the last day of my world literature class came. As we exited the class after our ridiculously easy final Axel turned to me and said, "Well, I guess I'll see you around Roxas. Enjoy your break alright, but not too much, unless you tell me about it later." And with a wink he was gone. Gone from my life. I felt lonely and empty, which was stupid because I had only talked to this guy for an hour twice a week.

The best two hours of my entire week usually.

Ugh. I can't believe I let myself get caught up on some guy that I barely even know. It's not like we hung out outside of class or anything.

Although he offered, I just never took him up on it.

I was suddenly beginning to regret never taking the time to seeing him outside of class. I always just assumed he was joking, but maybe if I would've said okay then we would've gotten somewhere. Now I'd probably never see him again.

If only I were that lucky.

"Soooo Roxas, how've you been?" Axel stated, bringing me back into the present. That wicked grin was still etched onto his face.

"Umm. Good?" was all I could manage to get out of my mouth.

"Good, huh? Let's grab a coffee and catch up, shall we? I'm curious as to just how good you've been feeling lately," he replied, making an obvious gesture to the room that we were in.

"O-okay," I managed to stutter out. My face must've been nearly as red as his hair by now.

"Good, good. Let's go, Roxie," he purred as he slung an arm over my shoulders and walked me out the door.

What have I gotten myself into?