A/N: Just a small one shot to start us off. I've no beta so all mistakes are my own.

Disclaimer: I don't own Dragon age or any of it's wonderful characters.

"I'm not doing it Alistair."

"Pleeeaasse" he whined in return, holding the object closer to her face.

Hayley stepped back in disgust and shot him a warning glare. He'd told her earlier that he had a special treat for her when they made camp. She had no notion that his idea of a special treat was a slow and painful death.

"Alistair, I don't even eat normal cheese. There's no way I'm eating that." she said nodding towards the blue veined monstrosity he was wielding like a sword.

"But it's special cheese! I use to eat it all the time as a boy in Redcliff." he continued with a cheesy grin. "And I turned out fine."

That was true: Alistair had turned out damn fine.

Still. It was no reason to risk her health. It was a Blight after all: there were easier, less painful ways to die.

"Just try it." he urged. "Just one tiny little bite."

"Em, no. Not right now. Why don't you wrap it back up and we'll have it after dinner?"

That was a lie. She had no intention of eating it after dinner, or ever. It looked like puke and it smelled no better. It could quiet possibly be some of the cheese that Alistair had as a boy.

Oh well. If worse came to worse she could accidently throw it on the fire. Or use it as a weapon. It was bound to kill something.

"Yeah ok." Alistair agreed happily, bouncing towards his pack to rewrap it in its light pink wrapper.

Hayley wondered over to the central campfire, where Morrigan was preparing the evening meal.

"I hope you're not actually planning on eating that." Morrigan said without looking up from the rabbit she was skinning. "It smells little better than the blonde idiot himself."

"Hey!" Alistair complained, walking up beside them. "I can hear you, you know."

"Really?" the witch returned snidely. "I never assumed that you could not. I was just under the impression that you didn't understand words with more than one syllable."

"Real mature Morrigan." he replied, scowling. "Did you get your wonderful people skills from your mother?"

"My mother? What does my mother have to do with anything?"

"Oh nothing. She just seemed like such a social butterfly when we met her."

Hayley rolled her eyes at their usual bickering; casting her eyes around the camp in search of her loyal Mabari.

"Eh, what's Reuben eating?" she asked before her eyes widened in recognition.

She and Alistair looked at each other in horror.

Reuben was lying flat on all fours beside Alistair's pack; surrounded in tiny bits of pink paper.

"My cheese!"

"No, no, no Reuben!" Hayley screamed as she ran towards him and grabbed his collar. "Spit it out!"

She pried open his jaws only to realize it was a lost cause. The cheese was long gone. She turned the full force of her glare on the heart broken templar staring at her dog in disbelief

"If my dog dies Alistair I will never forgive you."

Alistair spluttered pathetically in reply.

"T'would serve your fool dog right," Morrigan began haughtily. "A painful death would teach him not to eat things that do not belong to him."

"I don't see why you're complaining." Alistair said, looking up briefly at the witch. "At least you got yours back."

Morrigan glared angrily at the ex-templar before ignoring him in favor of the rabbit: attacking it with renewed vigor.

Hayley didn't blame her. It had not been a good day in camp when Reuben finally decided to return Morrigan's recently bought cloak. Hayley didn't even begrudge her companion for chasing her dog into the forest as a bear: especially since he tried to return the cloak to its owner by dropping it in her lap. It was something that Hayley had silently vowed never to bring up.

"She's going to spit in my food isn't she?" Alistair asked, resigned.

"I would consider yourself very lucky if that was all she did."

Review please :)

-The Lieutenant Sarcasm