Okay, so I am taking a stab at a Destiel that is supposed to be sad.. I might have failed cause I'm a happy person DX
I do not own anything to do with Supernatural but I do wanna take credit for this fantasy of mine... I wish this would happen in the show.. (I mean just an episode of Destiel :D)

Enjoy! :)

Come on Get Higher

He remembered the moment the angel disappeared more clearly than the apocalypse. Dean remembered how Castiel's face lit up in happiness and how right before he shed the vessel, he looked at him. Sadness filled his bright blue eyes, and Castiel left Jimmy's body and that was the last time Dean saw his angel.

When Jimmy was left over, Dean felt a warmth inside him fade and was replaced by a coldness. He knew that feeling; he had felt it most of his life; loneliness. He had lost another thing that he loved and this feeling had to take the cake on the worst feel he had ever felt.

Maybe it was the fact that Castiel had been devoted to him alone and would do anything for him. Maybe it had been the fact that no matter how bad Dean messed up, Castiel would save him again and again. And maybe, just maybe, it was the fact that once his father had returned and fixed the broken world, Castiel left him. No goodbye, just a sad glance before he left forever.

Dean knew that he would never be able to forget the way Castiel would stare confused when he didn't understand human slang; how he would always be there at the right moment; and how he had seen more than just a sinner inside him. He had once called Dean beautiful, his soul.

Shaking his head, Dean choked back the last of the beer in his bottle before heading to the kitchen to get another. Castiel had been wrong; Dean's soul was anything but beautiful. It was torn and broken. It had a nasty taste for revenge and trust had been burned out completely from it. Along with love.

Dean knew that the only people he could ever love, were the ones he already had. He loved Sam more than he cared for himself and would do anything for him, and had gone to Hell to prove it. Bobby, because he was just like his father and proved that with sacrifice and by disciplining him on more than one occasion. His parents had been the first loves he had ever had, but none of them compared to the most important person.

Castiel.

He had somehow, in some fucked up way, fallen for the angel. In the war and meetings between the two, Dean had grown soft and let the angel in. He had trusted him with his life and would even trust him with Sam's life. He had also loved him more than he should have. Dean had known that Castiel couldn't love him like he so desired, but he couldn't stop.

It had surprised Dean when he pin-pointed the feeling he had for the angel. Dean the ladies-man was gay for Castiel, an angel. Dean knew that God was trying to teach His angel's to learn to love the humans like He loved the humans but that was different from what Dean felt. In the early morning light, Dean finally gave up. One year after his angel disappeared, Dean finally amitted to himself that Castiel wasn't coming back.

And Castiel hadn't loved him like he had desperately wanted.

Only small hunts were left after God resurfaced. Sam went back to college while Dean and Bobby continued to hunt ghosts and things that were left over from the war. Dean had become very dependent on alcohol afterwards too. Every night before he went to bed, he drank till he couldn't walk and just stared at the ceiling before he passed out in his hotels beds.

His dreams consisted of Castiel and a family. Sam would bring his children and wife to Dean and Castiel's house and Dean would watch as Sam's children would braid his angel's hair while his angel would look helpless. Bobby would sit in the old rocking chair and tell stories to the children who had heard it many times before and they would have a border collie for a pet.

That was why he drank himself to sleep most nights. If he did, the dreams didn't come and he wouldn't feel empty in the morning; well as empty. A year after Castiel was gone and he still burned a candle for him. It was pathetic.

He wouldn't ever move on either because in his mind, Castiel might come back and he wouldn't betray his angel.

I think I am going to make this a 3-shot... maybe... I wanna do Castiel's POV and then the future.. Did I fail miserably at being sad? DX

Oh and the title is this song.. Actually my favorite song ATM. Come on Get Higher by Matt Nathanson..

Anyone wanna make a Destiel video with this song? It would make my day! :D

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-Courtney