Submission Heading:
The 80's Power Ballad Contest: Twilight Edition
Name of song and artist chosen: Who Wants to Live Forever by Queen
Title: Who Wants to Live Forever
Word Count: 11065
Rating: M
Pairing: Jasper/Bella
Summary: Edward leaves after the family votes against his wishes not to allow Bella to become a vampire. Jasper helps Bella heal and in the process fall in love, leaving Alice heartbroken. But tragedy strikes and Jasper is left wondering who would want to live forever when love is lost.
Disclaimer: I don't own anything. Stephenie Meyer owns all things Twilight. I don't own the songs quoted in this story either. Queen owns Who Wants to Live Forever, Reba McEntire owns I Want a Cowboy, and Tim McGraw owns It's Your Love. No copyright infringement intended.
Who Wants to Live Forever
Present Time, Noon
Rays of sunlight cascaded over her mahogany hair as I glided my fingers over streaks of red and gold. Why didn't I notice this before? I thought to myself. Most of our time together was spent hidden under overcast skies. Even before I met Bella, I spent most of my life in the shadows. It wasn't until she came into my life that I realized how bright the world was around me. In my mind, the sun rose and set by her.
Holding her in my arms under the cloudless sky was bittersweet. Her hair was glorious in the sunlight as it lay over her shoulders, wild and wind-blown. Her white blouse, fluttering in the gentle breeze, was torn, exposing patches of delicate skin. The dirt that streaked her face could not hide her beauty; she was a sight to behold, taking my breath away. I pulled her closer to me and inhaled her sweet scent, causing my throat to flare in pain.
I sat on the highest peak of a ridge native Texans called the Devil's Backbone. On any other day, I would have laughed at the thought of someone like me sitting here with an angel lying in my arms. Instead, I furrowed my brow, watching her chest rise and fall to the rhythm of her heartbeat, counting each breath, and wondering if it would be her last.
Beads of sweat rolled from her forehead down into her eyes. I looked for shade to shield her from the blazing heat of the sun, but all I saw were shrubs and cacti. I stroked her flushed face, trying to cool her off with my cold hand.
Bella moaned and tried to open her eyes.
"Jasper," she whispered, "it hurts."
"Shh, darlin', save your energy. Carlisle will be here soon; he will help you."
"You need to do it. I don't have much longer."
"Everything is going to be okay. You just need to lay still and rest."
"It's so—wet," she said, her voice fading as she spoke, "and sticky." She lost consciousness.
I sighed with relief. Perhaps, it was better that she was not awake. I didn't know how much longer she could take the pain. I lifted my hand off of her torso carefully, not wanting to wake her. I stared at my red-stained hand as drops of blood streaked down my arm, and I groaned; her injuries were worse than I thought.
I pulled off my black t-shirt and folded it into a bandage, hesitating to pull off the blood-soaked bandana that covered the holes in her abdomen.
I cursed at my weakness. I could change her now and end her suffering, but something deep inside me told me it would be a mistake. I wouldn't be able to stop, and I would end up killing her. I would lose her forever.
"Carlisle, I need you," I called out softly. I wanted to yell for him, but I didn't want to scare Bella. She had seen enough horror today to last her a lifetime.
I looked down to the open range below, hoping that Carlisle would be working his way up to us. I knew it was wishful thinking; he was with the rest of the family fighting for their lives. I pressed my hands against my head, desperately trying to erase the memory of the last twenty minutes.
We had just rescued Charlie, who was kidnapped by Victoria's newborns and held hostage in an abandoned warehouse. There were only a handful of newborns guarding Charlie, and Victoria was nowhere to be found, so the rescue was fairly easy—too easy. Jake and Sam, who volunteered to help us, didn't even have to phase.
Bella insisted she come along to make sure that Charlie was okay, but I wanted her as far away from danger as possible. Eventually, we settled on her staying with Charlotte and Alice, with a cell phone in hand, in the SUV parked ten miles away from the warehouse.
Charlie was unconscious when we found him, so we drove him to Bella. Carlisle looked him over and found nothing wrong, except a bump on the head and a few bruises. When Charlie woke up, he couldn't recall why he was taken, so Bella explained to him that he had been kidnapped and showed him a ransom note–forged by Alice. She told him that Carlisle and Esme were ready to give the kidnappers the ransom but when they arrived, they found him alone. Charlie looked skeptical when Bella told him the story, but Carlisle reaffirmed everything and Esme took over the situation, fussing over Charlie before he started asking more questions. She suggested that we drive to Austin and find a hotel so that he could rest before the flight back to Seattle.
Sam and Jake left with Charlie while we stayed behind to make sure there were no traces of our battle. After we finished cleaning up, the family drove ahead of us while Peter and Charlotte rode with Bella and me. We were just outside of Wimberley when Bella said she needed to take a human moment, so I pulled over at a rest stop. As Peter, Charlotte, and I stood next to the car, gazing at the rolling hills of the small Texas town, he warned me that he felt something was off—I should have listened. Next thing I knew, I heard shattering glass and a piercing scream from the ladies room. We ran into the building, and found glass fragments from a broken window scattered across the floor. My heart lurched into my throat when we realized Bella was taken.
Peter was able to pick up her scent as well as the scent of another vampire, and we gave chase after whoever had taken Bella. I tried to call Carlisle on my phone, but couldn't get a signal. I cussed and crushed the phone in frustration. I then made a conscious decision to hunt down the person who took Bella and to kill them at first sight, no questions asked. I made sure the decision was absolute so that Alice would have a clear vision of what happened — hopefully, they would turn the car around and find us sooner rather than later.
After running for a couple of miles, Peter drew to a sudden halt. We crouched, ready to attack, and I could feel that she was near—Victoria, her hate radiated off of her. Suddenly, I heard loud growls heading towards us. Peter and I turned to face an onslaught of newborns. It was then that I realized that we had walked straight into a trap. The battle we had just won was only a ruse to get us to let our guard down—it worked.
I charged at the newborns. Left and right, each one I touched fell to the ground headless, yet with each newborn I killed, there were two more to replace them.
And then I heard her high-pitched laugh.
Victoria was holding Bella with one arm. I growled, crouching low ready to attack, and she squeezed her tighter. I cringed when I heard a loud snap, and Bella cried as her ribs crushed under Victoria's hold. Victoria smirked, daring me to take another step forward. I stood still, calculating my next move. Her eyes narrowed, and she slowly lifted her hand and plunged her fingers into Bella's stomach. Bella screamed in agony and Victoria released her hold, allowing Bella to collapse on the ground, unconscious.
I roared with fury as I ran across the open plain at the speed of light. Victoria turned to run, but froze when Alice suddenly appeared and blocked her escape route. Through my peripheral vision, I saw Emmett and Rosalie racing towards the newborns with Carlisle and Esme close behind. Alice must have been watching for us to get there so quickly, and for that, I was eternally grateful to her.
Alice jumped on Victoria and managed to bite down on her shoulder. Victoria screeched in pain and grabbed Alice by the throat, flinging her off and onto the ground. She tried to run again, but it was too late. Alice's interference gave me the split second I needed to fly through the air and rip off Victoria's head.
Alice bounced back up and started to tear off the rest of Victoria's limbs. "I got this. Get Bella to safety."
"Thanks," I said to her as I gathered Bella into my arms and ran to the highest ridge I could find. The last thing I saw was the look on Alice's face as she stared with grief at Bella's limp body. I ran faster towards the ridge, desperate to escape the look on her face, not wanting to admit to myself that Alice's vision may come to fruition.
I forced myself to open my eyes, shaking my head to bring me back to the present. I needed to concentrate on keeping Bella alive. I used my energy to block out the sounds of the battle below, focusing on the beating of her heart. I held on to that sound like a man holding on to a life raft. The thumping of her heart, once steady and strong, grew slower. I pressed my head against her chest silently praying. Keep going. Beat. Beat for me.
I quickly pulled the bandana off and replaced it with my t-shirt. It was soaked within seconds.
Bella's eyes fluttered open and she gasped in pain.
"I'm sorry, darlin'. I had to change your bandage."
Her whole body shook as she shivered. "I'm so cold, Jasper."
I rubbed her arms with my hands, trying to create friction to keep her warm.
Bella lifted her hand and gently cupped my check. "It's okay, Jasper. You can let go."
"No."
"Tell the family I love them."
"No, you will tell them yourself."
"Tell Alice that she was right."
"No, I won't, because she wasn't," I growled. "You are not leaving me, damn it!"
I lifted her head gently. All of her love and the belief she had in me shone in her eyes, leaving me breathless. With just one look from her, I knew that I had to rid myself of all my self-doubts and try. If I didn't, I would lose her. I then tilted her head to the side and brushed her hair back. I took a deep breath and braced myself. I was going to make this work. My lips parted as I brought them down to her neck.
"I love you, Bella," I murmured. Gently, my teeth penetrated her fragile skin, like needles piercing the finest silk. Her warm blood oozed into my mouth and swirled onto my tongue. The taste was sweet and succulent. She moaned at the painful penetration of my teeth, and I felt her lose consciousness again and go limp in my arms.
I struggled to maintain my focus as I fought the instinct to swallow. Don't swallow, I thought to myself. I knew if I dared to take in one drop of her blood, I would no longer be able to hold the beast back, and I would be lost in a wild frenzy. I concentrated on pushing as much venom as I could into her body. I moaned in agony when the temptation to swallow began to overwhelm me. I turned my head away quickly and spat her blood onto the ground. I then licked her wound so that my venom could close it.
I whimpered as I prepared to inject her with more venom. I knew I had to make sure she got enough venom into her system; she was so weak, and she was fading fast. I braced myself again as I lifted her arm and plunged my teeth into her wrist. My hands started to tremble, and I choked on the overflow of venom in my throat. I could feel myself beginning to lose control as the torturous temptation of her blood swept through my body like a tidal wave. It took every ounce of strength for me to lift my head, spew out the blood from my mouth, and quickly close her wound.
My body ached with desire to swallow the minute amount of blood that coated my mouth. My will to keep her alive and my body's desire for nourishment were raging a battle so intense that I started to convulse with violent seizures.
When I finally gained control of myself, I groaned in pain. I could still taste her on my tongue. With all the strength I could muster, I stuck my finger down my throat and started to wretch. Venom spewed up and out of my mouth, washing away the last remnants of her blood.
When it was finally over, I sat and waited. The seconds passed as I focused on the faint thumping of her heart growing fainter and fainter. I placed my head against her chest not trusting my vampire hearing. I couldn't understand what was happening to her. The venom should be spreading through her body like wildfire, sending her into a frenzy of pain.
I lifted my head and cried, "No! Bella, don't leave me."
Bella moaned; her eyes rolled as she struggled to maintain consciousness. I sobbed into her chest, fearful that I was losing her.
I felt a warm hand stroke my hair. "Shh . . .You made my life . . . the happiest I could have ever had." Her voice faltered as she struggled to speak. "Even though we only had one sweet moment set aside for us . . . I'm grateful for that moment. Our fate was decided since the beginning, Jasper. There's no chance for us, it was already decided for us. But if I had to do it all over again . . . I would."
"Bella, don't, please," I pleaded as her breathing became more labored.
She struggled to take another breath and with a final gasp, she said, "I love . . . you."
Tears slid down her cheeks. I bent down and touched her tears with my lips quivering in agony.
"Don't give up, Bella," I pleaded. "You need to allow the venom time to spread. We can have forever. We can love each other forever. Please, just hang on a little longer."
I closed my eyes and wept.
Three months ago
I voted yes. I knew Edward would be really pissed that I did—but I didn't care. I was tired of him having his way all the time; not to mention that he blew off how the family felt about wanting Bella in our lives. He had even less respect for Bella, and thinking about that really bothered me for some reason. Even before my slip up, when I almost bit her, he treated her like shit. I didn't think she realized it, and maybe she never would. He always found a way to make it look like he was doing something for her own good, when in fact, it was to make himself feel better.
"Asshole," he muttered under his breath.
Why don't you say that a little louder? You could give Bella a taste of what you are really like, I thought loud enough to make sure Edward heard every word.
He smirked at me when Rosalie voted no. No surprises there; out of all of us, she struggled the most with her life as a vampire.
Emmett and Esme voted yes, too. I raised my eyebrow at Edward who was fuming. I don't know why he was surprised. He knew they accepted her as one of the family and were ready to change her.
I could feel his confidence as Bella turned to question Carlisle. He looked at me with that stupid smirk again. I knew he expected Carlisle to be on his side and vote no. After all, Edward was his firstborn son. More than that, we both knew that whatever Carlisle decided, the family would have to agree.
Instead of answering Bella, Carlisle turned to Edward, and the smirk on Edward's face vanished. Yes! Take that, you shithead! I thought.
Edward barreled out of the room and started slamming things. There he goes, throwing his temper tantrum, I thought to myself as I rolled my eyes. I then looked over to Bella. She looked pleased, but I sensed another emotion from her.
"What's wrong, Bella?" I asked.
"I know Edward prefers that I stay human, but I didn't think he would react so strongly. This is my life. Why is he so much against turning me into one of you?"
Esme walked past me and placed her hand on Bella's shoulder. "Dear, he loves you very much, and he doesn't want you to live this kind of life."
"Nope, that's not it," I mumbled.
"What?" Bella looked at me in surprise.
I squirmed uncomfortably. I should have kept my mouth shut. So, now I either lie to her or tell her the truth about what I really thought was going on and risk hurting her. I could feel the curiosity of the other family members.
"Well, uh, what Esme said is only partly true. Edward is just thinking about himself. He doesn't seem to care how much you would like to be a part of the family. All he can see is you becoming a vampire, not a part of a family. He would rather place his opinions and needs first, rather than try to find a way to meet your needs."
"Jasper!" Esme gasped. "This is something between Edward and Bella. It is none of your business."
"Son, Edward is trying his best to reconcile with his views about what it means to be a vampire," Carlisle agreed.
Bella turned to me with tears in her eyes. "So, it is true. Edward doesn't really love me."
"That's not what I said." I looked at her with guilt. I should have kept my mouth shut.
"No, you said he only thinks about himself and Carlisle basically agreed," she replied. Carlisle opened his mouth to say something when Bella interrupted him. "No, Carlisle, you didn't deny that Edward was only thinking about himself, you only said he was struggling with his thoughts about being a vampire." Tears began to stream down her face. Esme scowled at me and patted Bella's back, trying to comfort her.
Suddenly, I felt my body fly through the air and slam into the wall. A hand clenched my neck. "What the hell did you do to her?" Edward growled. His arm pressed firmly against my chest.
Alice was suddenly by his side. "Edward, please, stop. Let him go."
His eyes narrowed and he turned to Alice. "Fuck off, Alice! This is between me and your mate."
That did it. A red mist descended over my eyes, and I exploded with rage. In one swift movement, I pulled his arm off of me and threw him across the room. His body flew through the wall and into the kitchen. I raced to his side, and before he was able to stand up I hissed, "This is for disrespecting Alice and Bella!" I grabbed his arm and ripped it off.
I took hold of his other arm and snarled, "And this is for disrespecting the family, you little prick!" I yanked it off.
A pair of arms suddenly wrapped around me in a tight embrace. Growls erupted from my chest as I struggled to get loose.
"Come on, bro, calm down!" Emmett grunted as he tried to hold on to me.
The red mist lifted and I became aware of my surroundings. Esme and Alice stood in the corner sobbing as they watched Edward, who was lying on the floor, wreathing in pain. Carlisle tried to hold Edward steady as he attempted to fuse his arms back to his body. Rosalie wore a smirk on her face attempting to hide a smile. I raised my eyebrow at her and she mouthed to me, it's about time.
My eyes slowly turned towards Bella who was still in the living room. She looked at Edward with a blank expression on her face. I focused on her trying to understand the emotions she was projecting, shock, sadness, and . . . anger? Bella lifted her eyes and, for a brief moment, I saw her anger. I jumped in surprise. This was an emotion that I never thought I would see from her.
"Okay, okay." I stopped struggling. "I'm under control now. Let me go."
Emmett's arms dropped. I looked at Bella and saw that the anger that was there a moment ago was gone from her eyes. "Jasper, are you okay?"
I froze in shock. She was asking me if I was okay. The supposed love of her life was on the kitchen floor in pain and she was asking me how I was doing.
"I'm fine. I need to get out of here," I said quickly. "Sorry." I ran out of the house and into the woods.
I wandered through the woods, trying to clear my head. I always knew I would beat the shit out of Edward someday; I just didn't expect it to be in front of Bella, and I definitely wasn't expecting her reaction. It was as if she approved of what I did. Maybe it was finally sinking in that Edward just didn't have her best interest at heart as he claimed.
Several hours later, I walked back towards the house and found Alice sitting in the back porch with a vacant look in her eyes, the kind that she got when she was having one of her visions. I placed my hand on her shoulder and shook her gently.
"Darlin', what is it?"
She shook her head as her eyes began to focus. Her amber eyes look up to me and they were filled with a sadness I had never seen in the entire time I knew her. "Are you happy?"
"Of course I am, sweetheart. I'm with you." I looked at her puzzled.
Alice took my hand in hers and pulled me down to sit next to her. She leaned towards me and kissed me gently. She pressed her forehead against mine and whispered, "Don't ever forget that I know you love me. What we have together is special and I will always cherish it in my heart."
I pulled back with trepidation, trying to read between the lines. "Alice, are you leaving me?"
"I will always be here for you, Jazz." Alice eyes gazed deeply into mine. "I just want you to be happy." She pecked me on the nose and jumped up. "Don't worry, Bella. Jazz won't hurt you."
Bella emerged from the shadows. I must have really been out of it not to notice her standing there.
"I know he won't hurt me. I just didn't want to interrupt you."
Alice smiled at Bella. "I was just leaving, take your time."
She took Bella's hand and pulled her to sit down next to me. She then placed her hand into mine. "I love you both, dearly." She then turned around and walked into the house.
I looked down at Bella's hand. I should feel uncomfortable, but I didn't. Instead, I felt a warm glow spread through my body. I looked at Bella and a blush of pink spread across her cheeks; she was lovely.
"I wanted to thank you for what you did in there." She lowered her head, staring the ground with embarrassment.
My hand reached under her chin and lifted her head. Gazing intently into her eyes, I said, "You don't need to be embarrassed when you talk to me and you don't need to thank me, either. I will always have your back." I squeezed her hand gently.
Her blush deepened to scarlet but she didn't look away. I didn't quite understand it, but for some reason, at that moment, I felt proud of her. She had no reason to trust me. If anything, she should have been trembling with fear. All the interactions she had with me, I was fighting the urge to drain her. Yet, there she was, her hand in mine, thanking me for putting Edward in his place.
"So, did Carlisle put Edward back together?"
"Yeah, he did. Ed . . . " she choked " . . . Edward is fine." She swallowed thickly. "At least, he looked okay when he . . . left."
Tears spilled down her cheeks, and my heart ached for her. "I'm so sorry, Bella. I didn't think he would leave."
"It wasn't your fault. I told him that you were right and that he should have taken into account how others feel about me joining the family. I told him that's why we came here tonight in the first place. He basically told me that I was in no position to make decisions about this. Can you believe that? He actually said I couldn't be trusted to make decisions about my own life. I told him that maybe we should take a break and think about it. He said there was nothing to think about and that maybe we should make the break permanent, and then he left."
What an idiot! Bella was actually forgiving him for acting like an overbearing asshole and he threw it back in her face. Part of me wanted to high five Bella and say good riddance, but another part just melted at the sight of her sorrow. I didn't want her to hurt this way.
"Bella, Edward was a fool to leave you." I pulled her close to me and wrapped my arm around her shoulder. I inhaled and was warmed by her scent. Funny, I never really noticed how she smelled of lavender, freesia, and a hint of strawberry. "Give him time to cool off, maybe he'll come back." I hope he doesn't, I mumbled under my breath.
She shook her head. "No, it's over. I can't respect someone who doesn't respect me." Her eyes gazed into mine. "You helped me see that tonight. You were the only who cared enough to speak your mind and risk others getting mad at you."
"I wouldn't have it any other way." I kissed her forehead. She started to cry even more. I knew this was going to be hard for her. Over the past few months, I felt the emotions she had for Edward. They were a mixture of love, lust, and admiration. It was hard enough to lose a love that you thought would last forever, but to lose a love that never really existed, except in your mind, well, that was unbearable.
I held her for hours as she told me about how she felt the first time she met Edward. Her emotions were a roller coaster as she spoke of the hope that he would be attracted to her and then of her disbelief that he actually was. Exhaustion finally caught up with her and she fell asleep in my arms. Careful not to wake her, I carried her home. I leaped into her open bedroom window, and placed her on her bed. I leaned down and kissed her cheek. "Sleep well, my friend."
Over the next few weeks, the family did everything we could to cheer Bella up. Emmett played video games with her and graciously let her win a few. Esme, relying on Bella's desire to be helpful, asked her for decoration ideas for a cottage she was restoring. Even Rosalie tried to keep Bella occupied by having her help her restore a 1967 911 Porsche that she won off eBay. Bella tried her best to appear happy when she was around the others, but it seemed that her happiness didn't touch her eyes unless she was with me.
Since the night Edward left, Bella and I took long walks in the woods and talked. She shared her experiences about what it was like living with Charlie and how she missed her mom. I told her about my violent past and about how hard I worked to overcome it. I treasured our time together, but I was worried that she spent so little time with Alice. When I asked her about it, she said that Alice was polite but distant whenever she tried talking with her. We both worried about Alice because she was acting the same way towards me.
I approached Alice about it one day when Emmett and Rosalie took Bella to Seattle to do a bit of sightseeing. She didn't want to talk to me about it. She said that we were just going in different directions. I asked her if it had anything to do with her visions. She wouldn't look me in the eye when she replied yes. I knew something was wrong because I felt an immense sorrow projecting out of her when she said it. I wanted to comfort her, but something inside of me told me it would just make it worse.
I was puzzled that I no longer felt a pull to be with Alice when I wasn't with her. It actually scared me a bit; I felt like I was changing, and, well, vampires just didn't change. At least, that was what I always thought. Instead, I began to feel a subtle pull whenever Bella was gone. I wasn't quite sure what that was about, so I rationalized that we were building a strong friendship. That was the only thing that seemed to make sense to me at the moment—I was so wrong.
I first realized what the pull towards Bella meant when, one day, I was in the garage helping Rosalie replace the fuel tank in the Porsche, and Bella dropped by for a visit.
"What is that?" She pointed to the red motorcycle sitting in the corner of the garage.
Rosalie chuckled and said, "That, my friend, is a BMW 1300GT."
"Is it fast?" Bella ran her hand across the seat of the GT admiring its sleek lines.
"Yeah, you can say that," I said, laughing. "Do you want to go for a ride?"
Bella's eyes widened with surprise. "Really? You're not afraid that I will hurt myself or jinx us and crash into a deer or something?"
"Of course not," I replied, amused that she would think everyone had Edward's overprotective mindset. "You have to live your life, Bella. Have a little fun."
Her face lit up with a happiness I hadn't seen in her for a long time. I sucked in my breath in awe of her beauty and felt that familiar pull towards her. Rosalie lifted her eyebrow, questioning my reaction. Embarrassed, I quickly grabbed the motorcycle helmet, and placed it on Bella's head.
"Rosalie, are you okay with us taking it for a spin?"
"Be my guest," she said, wiping her oil-stained hands on rag. "You might want to start her off a little slow, but once she warms up, I'm sure she will be everything you ever hoped for."
Bella flipped up the helmet visor and gave her a puzzled look. I was relieved that Rosalie's innuendo went right past her. If I were human, my face would have matched the color of the GT.
I popped her visor back down and straddled the cycle. "Don't mind Rosalie. She likes to personify her toys."
I drove Bella slowly through the streets of Forks. Once I got on the highway, I took it up to 150 miles per hour. I heard Bella squeal with excitement and felt her tighten her arms around me. I felt breathless by the intense reaction I had to that one simple gesture. We often held hands when we had our little talks, but I thought nothing of it. After all, that's what good friends did—didn't they? But, this feeling was different. It made me feel complete. It was as if I had been walking around all this time not knowing what it meant to be whole, until now.
The sun started to set and blazed an orange glow when we finally returned. I pulled the cycle into the garage and turned it off. For a moment, we sat there in silence, alone, with Bella's arms still wrapped around me.
"Shoot." I heard her say under her breath. "I don't want this to be over."
I place my hand over hers and said softly, "I know what you mean."
She leaped off the cycle and walked towards the large window. She took off her helmet and a cascade of brown waves tumbled to her shoulders. My heart lurched at the sight of her. This shouldn't be happening; I shouldn't be having these feelings for her.
She stood looking at her reflection in the window, trying to fix the mass of hair, which already looked perfect to me. Then, I felt that pull again. I wanted to run my fingers through her hair and feel its soft waves. As if in a dream, I got off the cycle and walked to her. I opened my arms and called to her, "Bella?"
In the window's reflection, I saw her eyes darken and felt a rush of desire emanating from her when she heard my voice. Her heart pounded frantically against her chest, as she turned to face me and walked straight into my arms.
"Thanks for the ride," she breathed into my chest.
She then pulled away a little and lifted her face to meet mine. Her breath blew onto my skin, sending shivers up and down my spine. Her gaze searched mine, questioning. I could feel her desire; it was as intense as mine. Her lips parted slightly, anticipating, waiting. All I had to do was tilt my head forward an inch and my lips would touch hers. Every part of my body screamed at me to kiss her, and I found myself slowly leaning forward when I heard her.
It was Alice—crying.
I stopped. I couldn't do this to Alice. I lifted my head back up and gave Bella a peck on the forehead. "You're welcome, darlin'. Do you need a ride home? There's something I need to do, but I can get Rosalie to take you."
Her face dropped. I could feel her disappointment and hurt. "No, I came in my truck."
She started to walk out of the garage when I grabbed her hand. "Hey, see you tomorrow? I have something special lined up for you, that is, if you're not afraid." I winked.
She studied me for a moment. She must have realized that I was trying to cheer her up. "Is that a challenge?" She smirked with a twinkle in her eyes.
"You bet! Come by tomorrow evening."
After Bella left, I ran through the woods, following Alice's scent. The sun was gone and a full moon loomed in the dark sky. Her sobs grew louder as I approached an opening where the trees gave way to a small meadow. There she sat, on her knees, surrounded by a sea of purple and blue wildflowers. The moonlight beamed on her small body as she quivered with raw emotion. That was when it hit me—she knew.
I walked to her and sat beside her. "You knew this would happen," I said softly.
"Yes, I did," she croaked. "I just wasn't sure exactly when."
"Why didn't you say anything?"
Alice looked at me, her eyes filled with immense sadness. "Jazz, you are the most loyal and honorable man I know. You would fight tooth and nail to stay with me, even if it meant that you lived in misery for the rest of your existence. I couldn't do that to you or Bella. I love you both too much to ask that from either of you."
"Alice, I still love you."
"I know you do, but you and I both know it's not the same anymore. The love that we shared was wonderful. It was all that I ever wanted and more. I will always cherish it. But, somewhere along the way, we lost it somehow. I felt you slipping away from me and I couldn't understand why until Edward left, and you decided to speak up for Bella."
I drew Alice to my chest and hugged her tightly. I knew what she was saying was true. The feelings I had for Bella were growing stronger every day. I felt like I was caught in a rip current, helpless against the pull that directed me to Bella and away from Alice. "I'm sorry, Alice."
She sobbed into my arms as I rocked her back and forth. I was a mixture of emotions; elated that I was free to pursue my feelings for Bella and, at the same time, devastated at the loss of what I once had with Alice. We held each other that night, reminiscing about the love we shared over the past. We laughed, we cried, but most of all, we took the time to say good-bye to the relationship we once had.
Slowly, darkness gave way to the shimmering rays of sunlight that filtered onto the meadow. We stood up and hugged. "I'm leaving with Carlisle and Esme for a few weeks. They're going to visit the Denalis."
She must have noticed the fear in my eyes because she quickly placed her hand on my cheek and said, "It's just for a visit. I'll come back—I promise."
Later that evening, I told Emmett and Rosalie about my plans for Bella and asked them to join us. Rosalie was delighted but Emmett was not too pleased. With a little sweet-talking, Rosalie convinced him to go. We wanted to make it a complete surprise to Bella, so I had Rosalie pick her up and blindfold her so she wouldn't see what I was wearing or where we were going.
We drove for a couple of hours towards the outskirts of Seattle. I found this place by accident when I was hunting — the familiar scent of sawdust, whiskey, and tobacco drew me to this place — and now it was my favorite place to go when I started to get homesick for Texas.
"No peeking," I said as we got out of the car.
"You've been saying that for, like, forever," Bella whined. "Let me take it off already."
"Hey, if I have to wear these god-awful things on my feet, you could at least keep that blindfold on," Emmett grumbled.
"What things? I can't see anything!"
I chuckled. "Okay, okay. Let me just get you right in front of the building so you can get a good look."
I took a few steps back so that she was sure to see the sign above my head and me at the same time. "Okay, you can take it off now."
Bella stripped off the blindfold, and I grinned as her eyes nearly popped out of their sockets. She took in my black python snake boots and her gaze crawled up the legs of my wrangler jeans. Her smile widened as she paused at my Texas belt buckle. When her eyes finally reached mine, my hand tugged the front tip of my black felt Stetson and I drawled, "Howdy, ma'am. Welcome to Daisy Dukes."
She laughed as she read the sign above me aloud, "Daisy Dukes. Young. Wild. Country. That is so you, Jasper!"
Hearing her laugh like that made my heart soar. I wanted to pull her in my arms and kiss her right then and there. The expression on my face must have given away what I was thinking because Rosalie chuckled and said under her breath, "When I said slowly, I didn't mean that slow."
Dust started whirling around and Bella started to cough. "What's up with you, Emmett?"
"I think I got a rock in my boot. Damn, Jasper, how do you walk in these things?"
I rolled my eyes and held out my arm to Bella. "Ma'am."
The dance hall was filled with people drinking and dancing. We found a table and ordered a few drinks in order to blend in with the crowd. Rosalie tapped her feet dying to do some dancing, but Emmett complained that he couldn't move his feet. A young man approached the table and, with hat in hand, politely asked Rosalie if she wanted to dance. Emmett immediately grabbed Rosalie's hand and said that she was taken. He then pulled her onto the dance floor.
Bella, seeing the hurt on the young man's face, volunteered to dance with him. I was shocked. I knew she didn't like to dance and was wondering how I was going to convince her to dance with me. I looked to Rosalie who mouthed, slowpoke, at me. I hissed at her.
I watched Bella dancing with the young cowboy. She looked like she was having a lot of fun, so I waited patiently for the song to end. When the song ended, she started to return back to the table when she suddenly stopped midstride and turned away. She headed towards the DJ in the back of the dancehall and whispered something in his ear. The next thing I knew, the sweet voice of Reba McEntire filled the hall.
I want a down home up with the sun rise man
A pick-up truck driving, bull riding, strong, steady hand
I want the Wranglers, Stetson, and all that stuff
I want the real McCoy
I want a cowboy
Message received, loud and clear! I ran over to her side and swung her around in my arms. Her high-pitched giggles were music to my ears. I placed her on my feet and swayed my hips doing a two-step. Bella sang in my ear as we moved to the music. My heart soared knowing that she picked this song just for me.
We continued to dance even after the song ended. We laughed as I tried to teach her the two-step so that I could twirl her, and when she finally picked up the steps, all she wanted me to do was spin her. She laughed as she got dizzy and couldn't walk straight. At one point, Emmett convinced the DJ to play Billy Ray Cyrus' "Achy Breaky Heart," and he started a line dance. I sat out on that one, there was just some things a real cowboy doesn't dance to, and watched Bella shake that cute little butt of hers.
I chuckled when I saw her bumping into Rosalie and stepping on Emmett's toes. Instead of being embarrassed or apologetic, like she used to do whenever she made mistakes, she laughed. It felt good to watch her having fun after weeks of feeling her sadness. I admired her strength to overcome her heartache and marveled at the changes she made within herself. She was different from the girl I first met over a year ago in the dingy Forks High cafeteria. That girl no longer existed. Instead, in her place, was a beautiful, confident woman. She gazed in my direction and her lips turned up into a sultry smile, and that's when it hit me—I love her, I love her to the core of my soul.
I knew she was attracted to me, but I wasn't sure if she knew how strongly I felt about her. When the dance ended, the DJ called out that there would be one final song. I quickly went up to him and slipped him a fifty to make sure that the last song was for Bella.
Bella stood next to Emmett and Rosalie sipping on her drink when I tapped her on the shoulder. I took off my Stetson and bowed. "May I have this dance, ma'am?"
She fluttered her eyes, flirting with me. "Why, yes, you may, kind sir," she drawled.
I drew her to my body and swayed slowly to the song with her. I could feel her heart pound against my chest as my fingers stroked her back. She inhaled deeply and murmured, "Mmm . . . You smell like leather and cinnamon."
I chuckled and tightened my arms wanting to be as close to her as physically possible. I tilted my head and brushed my lips to her hair. Her heart fluttered in response. I tilted her head and gazed deeply into her eyes. I sang along to the music knowing that the words to Tim McGraw's song were exactly what I wanted to say to her.
Oh, it's a beautiful thing, It's your love.
Don't think I can keep it all in.
I just gotta let you know what it is that won't let me go.
It just does something to me.
It sends a shock right through me.
I can't get enough.
And if you wonder,
About the spell I'm under,
Oh, it's your love.
It's your love, it's your love, it's your love.
The last notes drifted away and we stared at each other, eyes unwavering, oblivious to everything around us. I could hear her heart racing, her breathing frantic as I leaned towards her. I closed my eyes and pressed my lips to hers. An electrical jolt shuddered through my body with such intensity I swore that I could feel my heart actually beat. Our lips moved together in synchrony, pleading for more. I pressed down harder, desperate to be closer to her taste, to her warmth. She responded by tangling her hands into my hair, and I moaned at the warmth of her touch. It was like a rip tide pulling me under, drowning me in lavender and freesia.
I felt a poke on my back that grew stronger and more frequent as the minutes passed. I finally lifted my head and noticed Emmett and Rosalie waiting patiently. Bella gasped trying to catch her breath.
"Go away," I growled and went back to kissing Bella.
"Jasper," Rosalie hissed. "We need to leave. The manager is giving us dirty looks. We are the last ones here, and they want to close up."
I pulled away from Bella and sighed, "Fine." I put my arm around Bella and we walked to the car. I opened the door for her, and before she stepped in, she kissed me and said, "Just in case you didn't know— I feel the same way too."
Two days ago
"Why are you so nervous?" I asked Bella as she rearranged the dining room table centerpiece for the tenth time.
We were at Bella's house waiting for Peter and Charlotte to arrive. I wanted to formally introduce her to my best friends. We wanted to make our relationship official to our friends and family. So, we arranged a dinner for Peter, Charlotte, and Charlie. Bella strategically sewed small pockets into the tablecloth so that we could hide our uneaten food.
They understood when I explained to them about what happened with Alice. They were sad that it didn't work out between us but were excited to meet Bella. Peter told me he noticed the difference in my voice and the energy that he felt from me over the phone.
Bella was sad for Alice, and missed her very much. I reassured her that Alice promised to return, and when she did, we would sit down and figure out a way to make this all work out. I knew Alice's friendship meant a lot to Bella, and I would do anything to help maintain their friendship.
"Peter and Charlotte are your best friends," she replied. "I want to make a good impression."
"Don't worry, darlin', they will love you." I kissed her on the cheek.
A car pulled into the driveway and I ran to the door. "They're here!" I yelled with excitement.
Peter grinned widely when he saw me and gave me a hug. He looked at me with a raised eyebrow. "What?" I asked, laughing at his expression.
He laughed. "I'll tell you later." He turned to Bella and reached for her hand. In a sweeping gesture, he kissed the top of her hand and said, "Ah, so this is the little lady that has been keeping you away from visiting us."
Bella blushed.
"Stop embarrassing her, Peter." Charlotte swatted his hand. "Don't mind him, Bella. He thinks he is the next best thing since sliced bread. I'm Charlotte."
Bella eyes widened with surprise when Charlotte kissed her cheeks. "Let me get a good look at you." She held Bella at arm's length and drawled, "My, my, Jasper. She is a beauty."
Bella's blush turned apple red. "It's a pleasure to meet both of you," she stammered. "Jasper has told me so much about you. Please, come into the house. My father should be here soon."
"What a darling home you have. Have you ever thought of expanding the porch and turning it into a wrap around?" Charlotte followed Bella into the house, talking a mile a minute. Charlotte was far from shy and enjoyed giving her opinion, whether you wanted it or not. I started to follow them in when Peter pulled me aside.
"Give them some time for some girl talk. You and I need to have a chat."
"Okay," I said, my eyes following Bella.
Peter slapped his hand on my shoulder. "Man, oh, man, you have it bad. I have never seen you this way."
"I love her." My eyes stared at the closed door, itching to go inside and join her.
"I can see that. You look . . . different," he speculated, rubbing his hand over his chin. "This is a side of you I've never seen. It's like there is bright light inside of you."
"It's all Bella. With her, I feel so . . ." I paused, thinking of the best word to describe what I was feeling. " . . . complete."
"Hmmm, I can see that, but there is something . . . more." I could almost see the wheels turning in Peter's head as he tried to figure out what I was not saying.
Peter denied that he had a gift; regardless of how many times Charlotte and I tried to convince him otherwise. He had this knack for sensing when something was off or incomplete. It was almost like a sixth sense. Peter claimed that he was just good at reading a person's facial expression or body language, nothing more.
"Yeah, there is," I sighed with relief. "I love her so much, it scares me. I don't know what I would do if I lost her. I just can't exist in a world without her." It felt good to finally share with someone my worst fears. I didn't have this same type of feeling when I was with Alice. If I had lost her, I would be sad, but deep inside I knew I wouldn't be lost. I would still be able to move on without her. My feelings for Bella were different—stronger. It would be like a part of me would die if I lost her.
"Do you plan on changing her?"
"Yes. We plan on moving to Alaska in September. Carlisle is going to change her." Bella and I agreed that we would have Charlie think she was attending the University of Alaska.
"Carlisle?" Peter raised his eyebrow with surprise. "Why don't you change her? You would be her sire," he pointed out. "That would be a powerful bond, my friend."
"I thought about that. It's been a long time since I had to change a human, and I am not sure if I'm ready to do that. I'm sure I could if I gave myself time to prepare," I replied. "Besides, Bella and I already have a powerful bond. I don't want to be her sire; I want to be her partner."
Bella and I debated whether or not I should be the one to change her. At first, she liked the idea of having my venom flow through her body. I explained to her what it meant to be a sire. As her sire, I would be responsible for her assimilating to vampire life and teaching her about our world. She would feel a sense of obligation and attachment to me. I told her that I wouldn't mind being her sire if that was what she wanted, but I wanted to make sure she understood what it truly meant. The more we discussed it, the more she realized that it was a romanticized notion. We both wanted her to keep our relationship as equals.
My phone began to vibrate. I flipped it open and saw that it was Alice calling.
"Hi Alice, it's good to hear—"
"Jazz, something terrible has happened. Charlie's been kidnapped!"
After I told Bella about the phone call, she immediately tried to get a hold of Charlie. His phone went straight to voice mail, so we decided to go to his office. When we arrived, we saw his patrol car in the parking lot with a note on the windshield. It was from Victoria. She was holding Charlie for ransom and would exchange him for Bella's life. She enclosed a map of the Texas hill country with the location of where the exchange would take place.
We went back to my home to plan our strategy. Carlisle, Esme, and Alice were taking a direct flight to Austin from Alaska and would meet us there tomorrow. Charlotte was making flight arrangements for the rest of us while Rosalie started packing. Peter and I looked over the map and strategized the attack.
Bella called Jake and Sam and begged them to help us. She was afraid that one of us would get hurt. They agreed, but Peter and I were hesitant about taking them along. I tried to convince her that Peter and I had plenty of experience fighting newborns, but she insisted. So, we decided they if they wanted to help, they could focus on getting Charlie out while the rest of us attacked the newborns.
We arrived in Austin the following evening, and met up with Carlisle, Esme, and Alice to coordinate our attack. As we went through our plan, I noticed a distressed look on Alice's face. Every few minutes, she would squeeze her eyes shut mumbling to herself. The only time she did something like that was when she was trying really hard to have a vision.
We decided that it was best that we all went to hunt in order to be ready for the attack in the morning. I didn't want to leave Bella's side, so I stayed behind—a decision that would come to haunt me later.
I paced our hotel room anxious about the next day. I didn't want Bella to be near the newborns, but she insisted. She agreed to stay with Charlotte and Alice and not get in the way. Knowing that didn't make me feel any better, but I understood her desire to be near Charlie.
Bella sat on the bed, her brow furrowed, reading a book. I was amazed at how calm she looked.
"What are you reading?" I plopped myself next to her, hoping that she would distract me.
She held up the front cover of the book for me to see. "Plato? Doing a little light reading?" I teased.
"Stop, teasing." She hit me lightly with the book. "I love reading Plato. It helps to keep my mind off of tomorrow."
I leaned my head on her shoulder. "Will you read it to me, please?" I opened my eyes wide, acting like a little boy who wanted to hear a bedtime story.
"You are such a flirt!" She giggled. "If I read you a bedtime story, promise me you will go right to sleep." I raised my eyebrow at her. "Okay, bad idea, you have to hold me while I sleep."
"It's a deal."
Her voice lowered as she began to read where she left off. "The soul takes flight to the world that is invisible, but there arriving she is sure of bliss and forever dwells in paradise."
"Hmm, why is the woman the only one to get bliss? Can't the man have bliss too?"
"I don't know what Plato was thinking." She threw her arms in the air and her eyes twinkled with amusement. She took a pen that was on the nightstand and placed a slash between the letters "s" and "h."
"There!" She smiled. "Now you can have bliss too."
"Darlin', I already have bliss." I took the book out of her hands and placed it on the nightstand. "The moment I held you in my arms, you became my heart and soul. You touched my world with your fingertips and made me a better man."
"I love you, Jasper." Her hands cupped my faced as she kissed me. "I want us to have forever to love each other."
"We will. I promise."
Bella jumped at the sound of someone knocking at the door.
"That's Alice," I said, recognizing her scent.
Bella leaped out of bed and opened the door. She pulled Alice inside and hugged her. "Alice! I have been so occupied with Charlie I just realized that I didn't even tell you hello."
"Don't worry about it, Bella, I understand."
"How are you? I missed you so much."
"I missed you too . . . " Alice looked in my direction, her eyes sad, " . . . both of you."
She took Bella's hand and led her back to the bed, sitting down. "Bella, Jazz, please, don't go tomorrow. Let the rest of us take care of this."
"Why?" I asked puzzled. "Did you have another vision?"
"Sort of, but it's all fuzzy." Her face scrunched in frustration. "I see you fighting and winning, but then both of you disappear. I'm not sure why. Carlisle thinks it might be because of Sam and Jake. They have a defense mechanism that doesn't allow me to see the future clearly when they are involved, but . . . I don't know. I just have a bad feeling about this."
"We'll be okay. Bella will be with you and Charlotte the entire time. And you know me." I grinned mischievously, hoping to make her feel better. "I can take care of myself."
Alice stood up and walked to the door; before walking out, she turned and cautioned, "Please, be careful. I love you both."
Present, 12:20pm
"Jasper, she's gone." Peter's hand touched my shoulder. Snarls erupted from my chest as I held on to Bella's body. No one was getting near her.
"No, she isn't," I growled. "She is still alive. I can hear her heart beating."
"Jasper," Peter whispered, "it's too late. Let her be in peace." He placed his hand over mine carefully, trying to pry it from Bella's body.
I was blinded by a red curtain that descended over my eyes. I could feel the rational part of my brain shut down, leaving a wild animal in its place. On instinct, I attacked the hand that was trying to steal my Bella. I rammed my fist into the body that was attached to the hand. Strong arms clutched my body attempting to subdue me. I pulled loose from his hold and crouched over her body ready to attack. The hand came forward again, and I bit it, tearing off a chunk of skin. The hand backed away screeching in pain. That was when I attacked. I pummeled my fist into the body that belonged to the hand. Over and over, my fist slammed into the body's rock hard chest, screaming and cursing. My knuckles began to crack from the force of the contact.
From a distance, I heard a familiar voice call my name. I hesitated, and then, without warning, arms wrapped around me and the voice yelled into my ear, "Stop fighting me, Jasper! It's me, Peter."
The red curtain slowly lifted and I found myself in Peter's arms, his clothes torn in shreds. Bella's body lay lifeless a few feet away from us. I fell to my knees and wailed. My hands clawed at the ground, reaching for Bella, attempting to make her come back to me, and yet knowing that there was nothing I could do to bring her back. I clutched at my chest, feeling as if my heart had literally been broken in two. I wanted to rip it out and smash it into the ground to stop the pain.
Peter held me as I sobbed. After a few moments, my body began to shut down as I let the waves of grief wash over me. "She was my dream, Peter. She was a beautiful dream for a man who could never sleep." I dropped my head, and my body went limp. "What's the use of my existence without her?"
"Jasper, what are you trying to say?" His brow furrowed with worry.
"What kind of cruel fate builds our dreams and then lets it slip away from us? Why would anyone want to live forever when love must die?"
I walked this earth for over a century, content to live forever. Peter and Charlotte stood by my side and helped me to see another way of existing. Alice gave me love and a family to cherish. I had a comfortable existence, and then fate brought me Bella. She was my forever.
I looked below and saw my family throwing the newborns' remains into the fire. Faceless newborns who had lived an existence similar to mine. Maybe they were happy with their existence; maybe they had a love of their own. Regardless, the battle was over, and now they ceased to exist. They had no thoughts, no worries, and no fear of losing a loved one, simply because they were no more.
"Do they know?"
"Yes, they saw what happened to Bella. They wanted to give you some space. They're grieving, too."
It was then that a surge of fury began to rise in my chest. This was not the end, not yet. There was one thing I had to do. "Tell me who planned this," I demanded. "I know this was a trap. Who did it?"
"It was Maria. When you took off with Bella, she started to go after you, but I was able to hold her off. She and Victoria must have united forces to attack you. They retreated after Maria saw that she was losing too many newborns."
I jumped up and growled, "She is not going to get away with this."
Peter held onto my arm. "Wait, Jasper. It's suicide if you go alone. We can take her down together. Gives us time to plan our attack and we'll kill that bitch."
"No, I am taking this into my own hands," I yelled as I ran down the ridge to catch up to Maria's army. "Forever is our today!"
I caught scent of Maria and headed west. I could sense my family following me, so I ran even faster. I needed to do this, and I needed to do this alone.
After a few miles, I finally caught up to her army. I counted thirty of them, but I didn't care. Before they became aware of my presence, I tackled a newborn to the ground and ripped off his head.
The others began to attack me. I moved swiftly, avoiding their grasp, searching for the demon that was responsible for killing my Bella. Then I saw her, and without thinking, I lunged myself at her. Out of nowhere, two newborns descended on me and ripped my arms off. I fell to the ground, and yelled in frustration. I was so close. I tried to jump up to attack, but strong arms held me down.
"Stop!" Maria commanded. She strolled towards me. I growled as she ran her finger down my chest. "How did you like my surprise, Major Whitlock?"
"You are going to die, bitch!"
She threw her head back and laughed. She waved to her newborns and they immediately surrounded me. She kneeled down and wrapped her hand around my neck. "Not today, and not by you!"
I spit in her face. She scowled and yelled, "Mátalo!"
A newborn jerked my head up and bit into my neck. I bit down hard on my lip, not wanting to give them the satisfaction of hearing me cry out in pain. That was when I noticed seven figures standing on a ridge, watching me. Peter was crouched, looking like he was about to lead my family to attack. I shook my head and mouthed, no. He hesitated. I could see him struggle, grief and understanding written all over his face, and then he turned to Carlisle and Emmett and told them something, I couldn't hear his words, all I heard was Rosalie's scream of anger as she ran down the ridge. Emmett tackled her and clenched his arms around her, holding her at bay.
Slowly, the newborns began to rip my body into pieces. I should have been in pain, but all I felt was the crack in my heart. I looked at my family, making sure that Peter held them back. Maria didn't care about them. She wanted me to die and she would kill anyone that got in her way. My family wouldn't survive if they tried to attack, and they had everything to live for — they had each other.
Smoked swirled around me and I smelled a familiar scent, it was like burnt leather. That's when I heard a piercing scream. It was Alice. Charlotte and Peter held onto her as she fell onto her knees, rocking back and forth, as she screamed my name over and over again. Carlisle held onto Esme who was sobbing in his arms.
I looked to Peter. His eyes filled with torment, and I realized that I was burning. The flames rose quickly, engulfing my body. It was through the blinding, white light of pain that I heard her.
I closed my eyes and smiled as she whispered, "The soul takes flight to the world that is invisible but there arriving he is sure of bliss and forever dwells in paradise."
Silence.
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