The rain kept falling. It hadn't stopped for two days. Ellie looked out her window, hoping to see some glimmer of sun shining through, but it was still raining. The darkness was getting to her. These past two days had been horrible. She had been in bed, in her pajamas, for almost 36 hours. She didn't want to face anyone, especially Jesse.
How could she tell him what she was feeling? That she felt empty. That the boy she loved with all her heart left. That this boy may love her back, but she walked away from him, because she thought it was the right thing to do, but he's all she can think about. How could she tell him that she and Craig had kissed? She couldn't. She didn't even want to answer the door when Marco would knock on it. He was worried about her, Ash was worried, Jesse was worried… but she wasn't. She was only worried about Craig. After everything, she was still worried about him.
The soft droplets of rain were comforting her. Each of the droplets was making her feel like she wasn't the only one who feels alone. She wasn't the only one who was crying. Yet, she craved sunshine because then maybe she would get the courage to get out of bed and talk to someone, anyone. Anyone who cared.
"El?" The gentle knocking on the door continued, as Marco spoke to her from the other side, "Can I please come in? Seriously, I'm really worried about you."
Part of her didn't want to answer, she just wanted to continue to curl up in a ball and forget the world. But the other part, it wanted to confide in all of the semi-dramatic, Craig obsessed feelings with Marco. So she mustered up the courage and granted him permission to come in.
He hesitantly pushed the door open, almost afraid of what he might find behind it. And then His face appeared, and immediately his smile broke as he saw her state: Unkempt hair; sign of no showering. Smeared makeup; sign of tears. Wrinkled sheets; sign of no movement. He moved to the side of her bed quickly and just looked at her, waiting for her to speak.
"I'm sorry, Marco."
His face became confused, "Sorry? Why, what did you do to me?"
"I was worrying you. I never meant to make you worried; I just needed to be alone. I needed to think about what happened on my own for a while, with no one else's opinion. Just my own." He nodded, and she knew he would understand, this encouraged her to continue, "But, now I need to talk to you about it, I want you to tell me if I'm acting ridiculous, or stupid or whatever."
"You know I will. But I need to know what's going on before I can criticize you." He saw a small smile form on her face, "I know that Craig is going into rehab, but there has to be something else bothering you, what is it?"
Ellie took a deep breath and sat up in bed, looking down at her hands. She immediately started to play with her rubber bands. Thoughts were racing through her head. She was more confused than she's ever been. She had to tell him.
"When I found Craig before the concert and he was high, he kissed me." Marco's eyes enlarged, and he finally began to understand why she was separating herself from the world, " And then he told me that he loved me, and I said it back. But he was only using me for the coke. I was hurt beyond all hurt. This guy who I'd fallen for so hard, who I love more than anyone else, was using me. I was so lost after this."
"El, I don't even know what to say…"
"Well I'm not finished, so you have time to think about it." Marco looked surprised, not knowing what else could of happened. "I decided then and there that Craig needed help, help that I couldn't give to him. I called Joey and explained what was going on. So him and Spike got a plane ticket so Craig would go there straight away. I went to the airport. I don't even know why I went. But I did. Craig told me that he really did love me and that he always has. And I walked away. I couldn't stand there as he was saying these words to me that I've wanted him to say to me for more than a year, I just couldn't" The tears were falling from her eyes as she was talking. Marco took her in his arms and just rubbed her back. She sobbed softly into his shoulder.
"I know you couldn't Ellie. I don't even know what you must be feeling right now."
"I just don't know what to do." They separated and she wipped her eyes and looked into his. "And you want to know the really sick thing about this whole thing? I'm still worried about him. I still love him. And I can't stop thinking about him. I mean seriously, what the hell is wrong with me, Marco? What kind of a girl can't stop thinking about a guy who's broken her heart countless times?"
"A girl is truly in love." He looked into her eyes, as if he was searching for something, "Ellie, I've known how you've felt about Craig since the very beginning. It's been obvious to me. I've also known that Craig has felt the same thing towards you. Maybe he's never said it directly to me, but the way he looks at you, the look in his eyes is the same look that you have right now. The look that you're consumed by the though of him, even past the layers of sadness and loneliness. You love him, and he loves you." He took her hand and squeezed it.
"But why is he just telling me this now? Why, after he hurt me so much? He couldn't of happened at our wedding gig when I admitted my feelings to him?" She looked towards him. She wanted him to answer all of her questions.
"El, I don't know. Only Craig knows this, all I can say is that he was probably afraid of what he felt towards you. Manny is the girl he's always ran to when things begin to get too serious for him. She's his easy way out."
She let out a frustrated sigh and leaned back against the bed. Her thoughts were no more clear after discussing this with Marco, yet she was still so thankful that he was there, because he makes everything seem so much more easier for her to understand.
" I don't know what you should do. That is your choice, you know this." She nodded slowly. He began to laugh.
"Why are you laughing, jerk?"
"Because Ellie, the only real advice I can give you is to take a shower. Then maybe your head will be more clear, and it will definantly be clean!" He got up and she threw a pillow at his back.
"Jerk!" She yelled as she shut the door and she heard him laughing on the other end. So she would take a shower first, but what should she do next? Tell her boyfriend that she was in love with someone else? Tell her best friend that she was in love with her ex-boyfriend? Or think about Craig some more?
Well, I think the last one is a given….
What does everyone think? It's just a beginning, and I don't really have a whole story plan, but I was just in the mood to write about one of my fav couples!