CHAPTER I

Gaara sat by the table, eating the breakfast that Temari had so graciously made for him. Kankuro sat in front of him eating scrambled eggs while Gaara himself only ate a piece of toast and some green tea. He had never been much of an eater anyway but this morning he was barely touching his food, just nibbling the edges of the sandwich with nothing on it, holding it in his left hand while his right hand was resting in his lap.

"Are you alright?"

"Nh?"

"You look unusually down, Gaara.."

"Nh…"

Dark brown eyes watched seafoam ones which had looked up from staring at the table and they revealed nothing but a blank stare at the brown eyes which were him to mouth how he was.

"I'm fine… leave me alone."

The monotone voice said as seafoam colored eyes fell back to staring at the table again.

"Just asking Gaara… I'm your brother, I care ya know."

"We both do, Kankuro and I are your siblings. It's our right to care about you."

Temari said as she turned around from the stove and walked to the table while holding a plate full of pancakes. The redhead watched the load on it as she put it down on the table by him and gave her usual big sister look.

"I said I'm fine.."

"But you see Gaara, I can tell you're not."

"Nh?"

"I can tell because you're eating less than usual and you avoid eye contact which you usually don't do. Kankuro is right to ask you how you are."

Temari sat down on a chair beside her youngest brother, looking at him as he placed the half eaten toast on the small plate in front of him and placed both hands casually on his lap.

"What's bothering you?"

"…. I've just ... hn…never mind… I'm fine, I can deal with –"

"Obviously Not Gaara..."

Kankuro cut in, earning a glare from his brother in return, telling him to shut it or else. But of course, privileged as the older brother, he chose that the right he did have, was to continue what he started to say.

"Whatever it is it's affecting your work as the kazekage and people are getting worried about you… I even heard a couple of guards on rounds last night talk about you and that you're even less social than you're usually are, and that's not good… not if you are to keep your role as kazekage."

The voice was soft and caring but Gaara could hear what he saw as pity in his brother's voice and his sister was just too close for comfort, causing him to stand up and step away from his chair and walked out of the kitchen.

"I'm fine, don't bother… I don't need pampering or pity..!"

"Gaara..?!"

Temari rose to go after him but Kankuro stopped her.

"Temari, wait. Let him be for a few days. He's had a rough time lately just let him breathe for a while. It's not like losing a demon you've carried since birth as well as dying and returning to life is something you get over during a couple of weeks. Can you imagine the trauma he's been through? Not even Gaara is unbreakable despite what he's been through… just imagine what he must be bottling up right now…"

"I know but…"

"Temari… leave him alone. I'm sure he'll come around eventually but for now he obviously needs more space than usual. Perhaps we should tell the council that the Kazekage needs a few days off? It would probably only serve in his favor."

Temari sighed and sat back down by the table and nodded quietly. Kankuro was right but she couldn't help but being concerned for Gaara's actions and behavior it was so unlike him. After all, they had known each other for Gaara's entire life but it wasn't until later they had managed to forge a small bond between them. It happened after Uzumaki Naruto during the Chuunin Exams. A remarkable boy he was that blonde. Somehow he had managed to get a thought planted in Gaara's mind in the forest surrounding Konohagakure where they had fought. Gaara fighting to feel he was alive, and Naruto to protect and save Sakura as well as prove himself to Sasuke.

Kankuro grabbed a pancake with his hand, flopped it on his plate put some jam on it then rolled it up with both hands and folded it in the middle before sticking the edges into his mouth.

"Kankuro! Use the fork at least!"

"But it doesn't taste as good!"

An older sister-stare made him place the pancake back down and grabbed his fork with a grumble and looked down at the pancake before a grin appeared on his yet to be painted-lips before he poked the fork through the folded and rolled up pancake and put it to his mouth again, causing Temari to groan loudly.

"When are you ever going to learn table manners, Kankuro?"

"The day I get the nobel prize for flower picking"

"Like that's going to happen…"

"Exactly… and there's your answer!"

He grinned proudly at the remark and took another bite on the pancake, earning another glare from Temari who rose and went to the kitchen cabinets and brought another plate out and placed it on a tray together with a fork and a knife, a glass of orange juice and a napkin.

"Temari… leave him be..."

"I'm not going to let him starve himself, he's already thin and I don't want to see him fade away by lack of food when he came back to us from the dead, Kankuro… You can't stop me from caring, Ever."

Kankuro sighed but accepted his defeat, she was right. Gaara had lost weight in the last weeks and by the amount he was eating, lack of food was indeed part of the reason why.

"I never said you'd stop caring Temari…"

Gaara sat down on his bed with a slight sigh and lowered his head. It was so empty, everything was so quiet and he had never in his entire life felt the way he did now. The annoying thing was that he couldn't even explain what he did feel, emotions weren't really his strongest side much less find the word connecting to the feeling itself. A soft knock on the door woke him up from the attempt of trying to find the word he was looking for.

"Leave"

He said to the door but he was out of luck. Temari turned the knob and came inside with a tray.

"Since you didn't finish your breakfast, I brought the breakfast to you. You eat up Gaara, no questions asked."

"I said I don't need pampering , Temari…"

"This is not Pampering Gaara… this is caring. Have you looked at yourself lately? You've lost weight and your pale skin is even paler… which I didn't think was possible but obviously I was wrong."

She placed the tray down on Gaara's desk and turned to look at him as he stood up a bit shorter than her still. They shared a moment of 'stare down' before Gaara eventually snorted a sigh and gave up.

"Fine… I'll eat if you leave"

"That's all I really wanted from the start, Gaara… You eating."

Temari placed a light hand on his shoulder and gave a warm sisterly smile, earning a glare of "don't touch me and don't you dare pamper me!" before she left and closed the door behind her, but not without telling him he didn't need to bother with the tray, she could come back for that later.

Once the door closed, Gaara sighed again and walked over to the desk and slumped down on the chair and just blankly stared at the pancakes and juice before him. Nothing on it, just the way he wanted them but with a touch of vanilla in the mix to give it a slight flavor. The redhead never had much of a sweet tooth amyway. There were a few things that he did like that was sweet but he was very picky when it came to 'treats' but he usually liked salt and sour things better than sweet ones.

A deep sigh escaped his lips before he picked the fork up… fork… why on earth had Temari gone to 'see the world' again? What was wrong with chopsticks and rice? Now he had to eat this… 'pancake' with a fork since he had realized that the pancake wasn't something you had in a bowl and pre-cut the last time he had it. He did like it however and that was something he just couldn't deny and that was something Temari had seen in an instant when he had tasted it a week ago and she was obviously proud of making them correctly too since all she had was a recipe from one of her new friends.

It had taken him a good two hours to try to eat the three pancakes on the plate but the juice had gone down easier. One and a half pancake still remained on the plate where Gaara had left them with the empty juice glass before he had returned to his bed to lay down.

Yet again he found himself cradled up on his right side staring at the wall with a blank look on his face, knees somewhat pulled up to his chest, back to the desk and door. Everything was silent; nothing was heard except the slight wind outside the window. He had heard Temari washing dishes a while ago but it seemed she had either forgotten about the plate in his room or simply let him be. Unless Kankuro made her wait with it, his older brother seemed to understand him a bit somehow. He let Gaara have his space when he needed to and somehow he did understand when he needed it too, perhaps he had let his patterns and routines and personality show too much so he could read him… possibly.

So cold… everything was so cold. He felt so shut off from the world even though there was an entire city around him as well as his siblings. Nothing had been the same since that day. He was missing something and it wasn't only Shukaku's voice inside of him but it felt like he had lost something else. He felt hollow, empty and… perhaps a bit... lost.

The redhead had moved to the bed, pulling his knees up towards his chest . He whimpered and shut his eyes tightly as his left hand came to grab a tuft of hair by his temple and pulled his knees up even tighter. What was this pain inside? It ached and gnawed at him, it stung and burned at the same time he felt numb inside…

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