"MARSHMALLOWS! Donkey," he cried with sorrow, tears streaming down his beard,
which didn't actually exist. A grin spread across his unbearded face, a maniacal smile. Filled
with hatred for his non-beard, he decided it was past time he grew one. With all his might
he concentrated really hard on beards, and suddenly… He still didn't have one. He roared
angrily. With glee. With pain. With joy. With a wolf in the distance. And a rainbow in his
heart. And no beard on his chin.
Out of nowhere a wild magikarp appeared with a beard on its chinny chin chin. The
beardless man snarled and pounced on the magikarp, determined to have its luscious beard.
"GIRATINA POWER BOOM SMASHA WACKA, the reverse world portal has opened!" he said
as he pirouetted to the turntable of jelly babies. "Bloop bloop bloop bloop bloop!" cried
magikarp, despairing at the fact it's one and only friend was leaving him, just like his parents
had left him in the orphanage to be raised by mean nun magikarp… The one without a beard
felt sorry for the magikarp but he couldn't stay, he had to continue the quest for a beard!
And so, this is how the story of the beard crazed criminal began his life of beard stealing
crime…
Screams echoed throughout the barren valley, an anguished yell for help. The unbearded
man had struck again, thought Sir Save-a-lot stroking his pointed beard thoughtfully,
smirking. He saw a man running off into the sunset with his magikarp by his side, a beard in
his hand, and a maniacal grin on his face. His cloak of beards billowed hairily behind him, as
he ran.
"Let's get him!" Sir Save-a-lot whispered to his sock puppet on his foot. The sock made no
reply (surprisingly…). "Why so shy Mr. Smelly-pie?"