You're Gone

          Colonel Sarah MacKenzie awoke with a start.  She'd dreamed that they were taking Harm away in chains forever.  She knew, in her heart of hearts, that as awful as Singer had been, Harm hadn't killed her.  He had been furious, angrier than he'd ever been, even with her, but he didn't kill Singer.  "Thinking about Harm?"  Commander Sturgis Turner asked from her doorway.

          "Always."  She admitted where only he could hear it.

          "I'm about to go over.  Come with me."

          She nodded, knowing that she wouldn't be able to see him alone anyway.  There would be a guard or one of those damned NCIS agents around.  "Thanks."

          "I'll tell the Admiral we're taking our lunch then."  He returned to her, trying not to look worried.  She'd nearly killed herself with work and he considered himself blessed if he could get Mac to eat anything.  It was as if after they took Harm, she stopped caring.  True, she helped Harriet, worrying always about the godchildren she shared with Harm, but when it came to herself, it got pushed back.

*****
          Commander Harmon Rabb Jr. came into the small room after Sturgis told the guard that they were lawyers.  He looked first at Sturgis and then at Mac, trying to keep from holding her close.  They sat at the table; Harm on one side, Sturgis on the other, and Mac in between.

          "Are you okay?"  Mac asked softly.

          "Considering.  What about you guys?  Bobbi?  Harriet and Bud?"

          "Bobbi and I are both fine.  She's trying to see what she can do to help."  Sturgis told him.

          "And Harriet's doing fine."  Mac smiled at him.  "Bud made her go get a checkup; the baby's perfect.  Admiral's making sure she doesn't work too much.  Little A.J. really misses you."

          "Does he know what's going on?"  He asked, worried.

          "Uncle Harm is on a case."  Mac told him what they'd all conspired to tell the little boy.

          "My cases?"

          "All taken care of."  She reassured him.

          "Yeah, Mac's working them all."  Sturgis said, giving Harm a look.

          Harm frowned.  "Mac, I have to confer with my lawyer."

          "Is that code for leave the room for you two can talk about me behind my back?"

          He smiled at her.  "Exactly."

          She smiled back at him, wishing that she could hug him.  "I'll come back as soon as I can."  She left the room and went to wait for Sturgis.

          "How is she really?"

          "Workaholic, hardly ever eats.  She's been helping Harriet a lot, but when it comes to herself, she doesn't seem to care."

          "You've gotta take care of her, Sturgis."  He pleaded his Academy friend.

          "We all will.  I promise."

          "I'm gonna hold you to it."

          "I'll be back as often as I can."

          "That doesn't matter.  Just take care of her."  It was killing him not to be able to do it himself; he was so used to being the one to help her, to make sure that she was doing everything she was supposed to, and to cheer her on every time she passed a bar, every day she was sober, knowing what a feat it was for her. That was one of his biggest fears; that the stress would get to her and, since he wasn't there for her this time either, that she'd start drinking again.

          Sturgis nodded and promised again as he walked out to Mac.  They waited until the parking lot.  "He was angrier at Singer than at anyone, ever, even me.  He already had a fight with her or something three years ago, when I was still with Mic, and then with the stuff she's pulled with Harriet and Bud, and on top of that, he really thought the baby was Sergei's."

          "He didn't do it."

          "I KNOW THAT!"  Her voice quieted down again.  "I know that.  But I can see where they think he does.  I'm scared."

          "If he's convicted, which he won't be, than we'll appeal.  That doesn't work, we'll appeal again.  We won't stop until he comes home, right?"

          "Right."  She smiled half-heartedly.  "Thanks."  He smiled half-heartedly as well and they got into her car.  "Sturgis?"

          "Yeah?"

          "I keep having a dream that Harm goes to prison…for good.  That he never comes home.  Only I'm not sure if it's a nightmare or vision."

          "Nightmare from the stress."  He told her.  "That's all it is."

          "He wanted to adopt her baby.  It was a little girl, did you know that?  Harmon Rabb Sr. had a granddaughter.  I wonder if they know each other.  I wonder if somehow he's taking care of her, playing with her…"

          "I don't know.  It's nice to think about."  She nodded.  "Listen, Mac, this is probably the last thing you want to hear, but I'm going to Singer's funeral."

          "They finished the autopsy?"

          "Yeah.  Bobbi's working and, even if she wasn't, she wouldn't go.  I don't blame her, but I…I hate to think of anyone dying and no one caring."

          She nodded.  "Harriet will probably go too.  She didn't like Singer, but she'll still go."  She looked at him.  "You want me to go with you?"

          "You don't have to."

          "I'll pretend it's for Harm's niece."