I have no regrets.
Damn was all Ash could think about as he ran down the road, ignoring the stares his running gathered. He's going to be an official Pokémon Trainer today—why oh why was he late on such an important day? There was a crowd in front of the Professor's Laboratory, gathered around a red sports car. Garry was in it—of course Garry owned a car—and his team of cheerleaders were huddled around him. As Ash got closer, he could see him holding out a shiny new pokéball.
So Garry had gotten his starter already. Ash swallowed his anxiety. Professor Oak wouldn't run out of starters. He had to know how many to prepare today, since everyone had to register a month before they can collect their starters. No one could forget such an important event. Throat dry, he made his way towards the stairs leading up to the laboratory by creeping around the crowd of supporters. Hopefully, with that many people, Gary wouldn't se—
"Oh look, it's Ashy-boy!"
Well darn. Ash cringed, stopping on the bottom step. "Hi Garry."
"…"
"…"
There was a pause as both boys tried and failed to remember their lines in this scene.
"Damn. I can't remember what happened in this scene…" a female voice muttered.
Ash whirled around to look at the speaker. It was a girl, probably half a decade older than him. She was staring at the two of them with a frown on her face, one finger tapping her chin. Ash could hardly hear her words. There was a moment's pause, and then Gary demanded, in his usual rude self, "Who are you?"
The girl held up a hand. "Hold a moment, I'm trying to think… Character introductions definitely happened, and the main character met his rival… characterization of the rival? Eh, what the hell, screw this."
Ash blinked.
Garry blinked.
Then in a flash of colours, he was turning to face the front.
"See ya, Ashy-boy!" he called, driving off, his crowd of cheerleaders waving and doing general cheerleading things such as cheering.
Ash blinked again, holding his nose to breathing in avoid the cloud of dust that arose in his rival's wake. He couldn't particularly remember what happened a minute ago…
Ah well, it couldn't be too important. He's getting his starter today, the first step to becoming the very best Pokémon trainer ever seen in history! Nothing could get more important than that. Speaking of… Ash cursed Garry for wasting his time and ran up the stairs to Professor Oak's laboratory.
Finally, fifty-seven steps later, he was standing in front of the door. Suddenly feeling very nervous, Ash pushed opened the door. The Professor was standing in front of the computer, and assistants in white coats were moving around, doing important looking things. One of them caught sight of Ash.
"Starter?" the aide asked, then pointed at Professor Oak before Ash could nod his head. "Go on then. Professor Oak was waiting for you."
Ash nodded, then slowly walked over to where the man who contributed so much to Pokéology was standing, feeling nervously eager.
Professor Oak turned around when Ash was behind him, as though somehow sensing his presence.
"Ah, hello there! My name is Professor Oak, but everyone calls me the Pokémon Professor. Before we go any further, I'd like to tell you a few things you should know about this world! This world is inhabited by creatures-"
"Erm. Professor Oak?"
"-known as Pokémon!"
Here, Professor Oak released an azumarill from a pokéball. Ash waved his hand around, bewildered.
"Pro-"
"We humans live alongside Pokémon as friends. At times we-"
"PROFESSOR OAK!"
"-work together… yes?"
"I, er, live here. I know about Pokémon."
There was a moment as Professor Oak looked down on Ash, his expression friendly and distant. Then recognition sparked.
"Right. Yes. Now, why don't you tell me a little about yourself? Are you a boy, or are you a girl?"
Ash hid his face behind his hands. The Oak family: sharp as beedrills, the lot of them, but with varied eccentric moments. This must be the famed temporary memory loss and selective blindness Professor Oak was known for when he gave out starters.
"Boy, Professor. I'm a boy." The general advice to this was to go along with the Professor until he recovered his memory. Funnily enough, it only happened when Professor Oak was handing out starters, and it's always the same few lines, according to his mother.
"So you're a boy then. Your name?"
"…Ash Ketchum. You know, your neighbour of ten years."
"Your name is Ash? Well Ash, are you ready? Your very own tale of grand adventure is about to unfold. Experi–"
"THANK YOU, PROFESSOR OAK," Ash said loudly, and Professor Oak blinked. Then a disapproving frown settled on his face. "You're rather late, Ash."
Instantly, ice settled in his stomach. Trepidation caused his hands to tremble, and Ash quickly put them behind his back. "I'm sorry, Professor Oak. There's still a starter Pokémon for me, right?"
Some of his hopefulness must have shown on his face, because the Professor sighed. Regret laced his tone as he looked at Ash sadly. "I'm sorry. The starters were taken by the other Trainers who came on time."
The and not an hour late was left hanging in the air. Ash swallowed. He could feel the despair clawing on the edges of his thoughts, but he refused to give in now. "R-Really? All?"
Professor Oak looked to the side. "Well… I just caught a Pokémon chewing on the wires outside barely a week ago."
Instantly, hope burst into being within Ash.
"He's untamed, but this wild pikachu is the only Pokémon I have in the entire lab. I must warn you, he has an electrifying personality."
"I'll take him!" He would take the Pokémon even if it turned out to be a rattata. Together, they would take the world by storm, and rise to become Champion!
Professor Oak muttered something, but handed the pokéball to Ash. Ash instantly pressed the release button, eager to take a close look at his first ever Pokémon. There was the flash of red, and then in the next moment, the world was a buzzing yellow.
"…I see what you mean," Ash said, dazed and squinting.
"Shocking, isn't it?" Professor Oak said dryly. "I need your help with my latest device, the newest version of the Pokédex. You don't have to do much, since it automatically records the data of any Pokémon you'll encounter. All you need to do is to go out and see the world and try to encounter as many Pokémons as you can in your journey."
Ash reached out to take the pokéballs and Pokédex from the Professor's hand, ignoring how the pikachu was staring intently at both of them. He took the pokéballs and then—
"Chu!"
Both humans found themselves within his zap. When the electricity faded away, Professor Oak righted himself, examined a strand of charred hair, and said, "Good luck on your journey!"
Then Ash found himself being pushed out the door, a Pokédex in one hand and a pokéball in another. The pikachu tilted its head to the side curiously as it found itself booted onto the porch. "Pika."
Ash grinned, reaching out a hand towards the Pikachu. "Alright! With Pikachu, I will become the very best Pokémon Trainer there ever was!"
Another zap.
"Good lord. He actually does that. How are you not dead yet?"
A girl was in front of him, leaning down and almost face-to-face. Honey brown met light brown, and Ash wrinkled his nose when a few strands of the girl's hair tickled his face.
"…?"
The girl grinned. "Hello, I'm Kida."
"…" Ash leaned back.
"Oh yeah. Sorry," Kida stood up, and Ash noted that she was almost a head taller than he was.
"I'm Ash Ketchum," he told the odd girl, "and this is… Pikachu."
The electric mouse was doing its best to pretend that his trainer didn't exist, nose up in the air. Ash pointed the pokéball at Pikachu and tried to return the Pokémon back to the ball. Pikachu dodged the beam of light and zapped his trainer again. Face heating up from his inability to control his own Pokémon, Ash pointed the pokéball at Pikachu again. Even before he could press the return button, an electric bolt arched towards him. After being shocked one more time, the light of understanding appeared in Ash's eyes, and he bent down to face the Pokémon. "You don't like staying in your pokéball, right?"
Pikachu nodded.
"Ah. Okay then."
Ash slipped the pokéball into his pocket. At the raised eyebrow he received from Kida, he muttered sheepishly, "I forgot to bring my bag with me."
And also forgot to pack the bag. In his defence, there wasn't enough time to do it, since he woke up late. Speaking of, he should get a new alarm clock… oh wait. Is that his–
"Ash!"
–mother.
Ash ran down the stairs, Pikachu following at a more leisurely pace alongside Kida. Delia Ketchum was at the foot of the stairs with a green bag and a small crowd of people out to send off the newest Pokémon Trainer.
"I packed your things into this bag, Ash. Remember to change your underwear everyday, okay? I put in an extra pair. There's five hundred Poké, and some food. Make sure you stay safe on your journey. Oh, and who's that?"
Pikachu and Kida had wandered down, and Ash felt his face flushing. Hopefully Kida did not hear the beginning of his mother's talk. That would be awkward.
"This is Kida, mum. I just met her outside Professor Oak's lab."
"Nice to meet you, Mrs Ketchum." Kida said with a dip of her head.
"And this is Pikachu, my Pokémon!" Even with their galvanising beginning, Ash beamed as he gestured to the electric type.
Delia smiled as she bent down to inspect the Pokémon. Ash crossed his fingers behind his back and hoped that Pikachu wouldn't zap his mother as well. Those kinda hurt.
"Why isn't he in his pokéball?"
"Oh, Pikachu doesn't like staying in his pokéball, so we're going to travel without using it."
"Isn't that a little weird for Pokémon?"
Oh dear. Ash could just see a thundercloud forming above Pikachu's head, and quickly picked him up and tried to back away. There was a flash of red light that indicated a Pokémon being released, then half a second later, all he could see was yellow.
When all the yellow died down, Ash was looking at people lying on the floor, and the now familiar smell of charred hair reached his nose. Well. That introduction went well. Delia was looking pretty out of it for the time being, and he winced. Sorry mum, it was all Pikachu's fault. He looked to the side, and found Kida standing behind a fierce looking Pokémon he hadn't seen before. It had jagged and bladed steel protruding from both its head and arms, and a dark brown body with patches of red.
Kida must have noticed his curiosity, because she said, "Ash, meet Cahrill. He's an excadrill from Unova."
Unova… that's quite a distance away, Ash thought, if what he remembered of the geography lessons in school was correct. An eyebrow raised.
"I travel a lot."
That made sense.
"That's a very cool Pokémon!" he exclaimed, pointing the Pokédex at Cahrill. The information for the excadrill appeared on the screen, and Ash grinned. Ground and steel type.
A movement from Delia caught his attention, and he quickly bent down.
"And Ash… don't forget…" His mother whispered, clinging onto his arm with a sudden intensity in her eyes. Ash leant closer to hear her last words of advice. "To change your underwear… every… single… day…"
His face heated up. "Okay mum."
"Don't worry Mrs Ketchum, Ash'll be fine." Kida was down beside him. "Not very safe, but then again, Pokémon. Not the safest things around."
There was a woozy agreement from Delia, and Kid stood up. "As cold as it sounds, they'll be alright, so let's go. Do you want to travel together? I find that going for the Gym Challenge with a companion makes the trip easier and cheaper."
Ash shot another look at Delia, and then nodded. Kida bent down again, and Ash watched, confused, as some form of communication passed between her and Pikachu. Some form, because no words were exchanged, but looks of all kind went between them, and Ash shook his head at the girl's oddness. A minute later, Pikachu bounded away and Kida stood up again, pointing at the trees in the distance. "That way to Viridian City. If you're fast, we can reach there by mid-afternoon, but I think you're going to try to catch some Pokémon on the way. Since the first few battles take a while, we'll probably reach at sundown."
A few hours of walking and Pokémon battling. Awesome.
Hope you enjoyed! This is going to be somewhat crack and an entirely light-hearted fic for when I lose my will to write my proper fic, so don't expect too much in terms of updates. Next chapter's the only one that might be coming very soon, because I already finished that a long time ago. The rest... well. Let's put it this way: the polar ice caps might melt before this fic gets updated. I do hope it was a good read, and please review!