This is a warning for anyone reading this story. I am not a fan of twilight, nor have I even read any of the books. I just learned the names of the characters and went with it. This story is purely for humor.

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It was around noon, or possibly closer to midnight, when in the depths of the forest that the Cullens lived in there came an enourmous and suspiciously evil laugh. "MUAAAAAAHAHAHAHA!!!!!" Duncan exclaimed, loud enough to send all the birds near his small cabin into flight. "I've finished! After all of these years, I've finally finished the requirements for my power! Now I can start having some fun with those goddamn Cullens! I can't wait!" Duncan was a boy, around thirteen, around the average height for his age, though maybe a little thin, with blonde hair. The only thing unusual about him was that he was strikingly attractive. Why? He was a vampire, of course. He was sitting at a table in his cabin, and on the table is what seemed to be an extremely detailed map of the forest. In his hand he was holding a scale model figurine to his forest board that looked exactly like Bella. "I was frustrated when a new Cullen came into the mix," He said with a grin on his face, "it takes me forever to finish one of these miniatures. But now I'm done, and the game can begin!" Duncan was referring, of course, to his vampiric power. It was a bit of an unusual one, and a hard one to use, but if he could get it going, the results were tremendous. Oh, you want to know what the power is? Well, I guess this story wouldn't make much sense without it, so I'll tell you. Duncan's power is that he can erase the memories of people and control the selected people however he wishes. The requirement to his power is that he has to have a board of the area the people are in, and miniatures of the people. And he has to make them himself. Ever since he heard of the Cullens, he has disliked them, and immediately started to build the requirements for his power on them. He had nearly finished, too, when that stupid vampire had to go and get married. What? They had a child, too? Oh, well, he'll deal with her later. Anyways, what was I writing about? Oh, yes, his power. So, he had just finished his last model, and was beginning his brainwash session. He grabbed all of the figures he had made, and a blue light started to flow into them. Then, red light started to come out, as if the blue light was displacing it. Soon, there was no more red light coming out of any of the figures. "Hee hee," He said gleefully, "They're all done. No more memories in any of them. Now… I move on to stage two." He said, grabbing the figures.

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This is the end of chapter one, but chapter two will be up very soon. And trust me, this gets funny. Bear with me, okay? Thanks.