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Ficlet Name

Reverse Psychologist

Summary

A drunken Rung visits Fortress Maximus.

Pairing

Possible Rung/Fort Max, if you read into it that way.

Warnings

Clean. References with possible spoilers to MTMTE #6.

2,301 Words

Rung always, always, always valued others' feelings before his own, especially those of his patient's. He knew he was upset at what Fortress Maximus had done to him and Whirl; but he had told the enormous mech that he forgave him, even if he wasn't sure he did, because he knew it would help Maximus heal. He knew it would do more harm than good to tell the honest truth. It was just a white lie, anyway, he would get over it eventually.

But tonight, none of that is the case. After hearing the wrong name 99 times -and he had counted dutifully- he swore to himself that tonight, overcharged or not, he would care for himself first. Just this once, he would put himself first. And that started with what weighed on his processor every day - whether or not he truly forgave Maximus for nearly ending his life.

The cruel irony in it was that it's not so much his own life he was concerned about - but his patient's. If Rung was gone, all of his patients would no longer have a therapist. They didn't have a therapist while Rung was incapacitated, and that had done enough damage on it's own. But if he had perished, what would have happened to his patients? To Whirl, and Swerve, and so many others? Many of them relied on him as the only one they could trust. The only person they could feel in front of. The only friend they really had.

If Maximus had killed Rung that day, Rung would have let them all down. All of his patients would have relapses, and permanent mental damage. He did not care so much that he would have died; just that his patients, his friends, would have to live without him. And he didn't know if he could forgive Maximus for nearly causing all of that. He couldn't blame him entirely; he was deeply hurt, and he was having a psychotic episode. Rung's own ill thought out wording caused it. But nevertheless, Maximus was conscious and thinking - he was not having a flashback, and he knew the implications of killing Rung. He still threatened it, and Rung could see in his eyes he honestly had meant it.

Rung paused before Maximus's hab suite door. The hab suite was actually a converted explosives storeroom made to look like a habitation room; given Maximus's size and instability, they had to make do with something larger...and something that could be locked from the outside. He lifted a shaking, woozy servo and touched the door - he suddenly felt doubt. He didn't want to do this. He was angry that Maximus had taken actions he knew could potentially devastate Rung's patients - but Maximus himself was a patient now, too. Wouldn't it make him a hypocrite if-

snick

The door had opened, interrupting Rung's drunken train of thought. He craned his head up to blearily look at Maximus's towering frame, and idly wondered how Maximus knew he was there even if he hadn't knocked yet.

"Rung? You're overcharged."

"Yes I- yes I am. How did you...how did you know I was at the door if I hadn't knocked yet?"

Maximus just stared at him for a moment. "Your footsteps are loud in a corridor that permits no-one but officers - and running into the occasional wall doesn't help."

"Oh."

Rung looked straight ahead, confused and dizzy. What was he here for again?

Oh yeah.

"You tried to hurt-...you almost hurt my patients, a lot."

"...excuse me, Rung?"

"the fact is Max I don't forgive you, I-you hurt them."

Maximus's optics widened, and blinked, not understanding. "...Rung? From the beginning?"

"You-tried to kill me. You were going to kill me. But if I die my patients don't have a th-...therapist. A friend. A reliable source of support and comfort. I don't know if...if I forgive you for that, Maxxy. I'm...I'm sorry I lied. I'm sorry I'm here. I'll leave."

Rung turned, and was stopped by an enormous hand taking his arm. "Wait, please- Rung...it's alright. You shouldn't forgive me. I thought of that when I was going to hurt you - when I hurt Whirl - but I didn't care. Garrus 9 and my injustices were more important. They were far more important. But you've taught me that nothing can be done to change the past. I was wronged terribly but I can't fix what happened by being angry at Prowl, or Rodimus, or ...anyone. And I'm trying Rung - for you, if no-one else. And I'll do whatever you need me to do in order for you to forgive me for almost taking that very thing away from your patients."

Rung made an odd face and collapsed against Maximus's hold, offlined by his overcharge crashing down on him. Maximus looked around the corridor, lifted the little mech into his arms, and carried him into his hab suite.

Rung onlined feeling quite... poorly. He had remembered little of the night before, and that was usually a very bad thing for any mech, including Rung. Especially so when he recognized the deep blue paint and towering tank treads of quite possibly the most dangerous patient he had. Maximus had his back towards him, resting on the floor of his habsuite/chamber, focused on whatever was in front of him. He struggled to collect his memories of the night before - many mechs forgetting his name, be it accidentally, drunkenly or intentionally. He remembered feeling vaguely wronged, and he remembered making his way towards Maximus's hab suite lost in thought - something about concern for his patients? And then it hit him.

His thumb mic - the emergency recorder. It replayed the last two minutes of data it had recorded before his emergency offline, as a security feature, back to him. Including Maximus's speech.

What a fool he had been! He had nearly compromised the progress and safety of a patient for his own concern about something personal that paled in importance. On top of that, he had done so hypocritically - he had spent many cycles convincing Maximus that letting go of his anger was the best possible course of action when absolutely nothing can be done about it any longer. It has long since passed and the only thing gained from looking back on history is to learn from previous mistakes. And here he was, doing the exact opposite. It was by sheer luck that Maximus had understood and did not hold it against him, or worse, relapsed from Rung's slip in judgement.

But now what should he do? He dimmed his optics to dark and lowered his systems to minimum, pretending to be offline again. He focused on his surroundings - he was laying in Maximus's berth, and he felt warm - Maximus had thrown a cover over him during his recharge. Fortress Maximus was engrossed in whatever it was he was doing - he could only see the back of him, but he didn't look tense, or angry. He did not look like a mech having a flashback or another psychotic episode. He seemed calm and contented. That was definitely a good sign - it meant he wasn't relapsing, or triggered.

Rung thought long and hard about his next words. He didn't want to lie again and pretend he didn't remember; surely Maximus would know better. He didn't want to be too casual, or too apologetic. For once he had no idea what to say.

Two breems later, thankfully, Maximus stepped in to put him out of his misery...sort of.

"Did the Nemesis -the original, this one-" (he held up a manual with the specifications) "- have one tractor beam, or two? I cannot tell if this part is a spare...it doesn't seem to be listed in the instructions."

Oh, but Rung was so embarrassed. He had pretended to recharge like a little sparkling and he honestly thought that Maximus had not noticed. First a drunken fool, and now a sober imbecile. He brightened his optics back to normal and let his systems run at idle capacity as he rested on the berth, unwilling to move. He allowed himself an expression of his embarrassment -he was acting like a sparkling already, why not go all 9 paces?- and pulled the cover over his head.

Maximus reacted unexpectedly - he laughed. Oh, but he laughed. Rung made a momentary hypothesis in a psychological sense - he was sure now that Maximus must have taken something very important from their interaction the cycle before and Rung could only hope it was a healthy one.

"Max, I hope you forgive me if I overstep our current relationship, but- my dear friend, why you have just the nicest laugh. Promise me you will laugh again sometime soon?" He peeked over the covers, holding them just under his optics, and the enormous mech's smile grew across his face. It was unnerving, given he had not yet seen him smile very much at all, let alone so wide - but wonderful to see none the less. Progress. Delicious, tangible, visible progress. Nothing made Rung happier than to see it. He couldn't help but smile too. And then curiosity overwhelmed him.

"Maximus -if you feel comfortable indulging my curiosity, may I ask why you are in such a delightful mood this morning?"

"You, Rung. Your little outburst last night." Rung made an -apparently particularly amusing- face at Max. "Let me elaborate - I was reluctant to listen to you as a therapist because I honestly thought Prowl or Rodimus put you up to feeding me whatever slag would anesthetize me. But last night you proved to me that you legitimately have a duty of care for your patients, one you honor and uphold."

"But Max- didn't I prove to you that I put my duty of care before all else when I risked death to keep Whirl's information confidential?"

"Not exactly, Rung. Whirl told me the information I was digging for before I fired the gun. I hesitated to give you a chance to break your duty of care, to pressure you into releasing the information -but Whirl stepped in before I had a chance to wring it out of you. I had been convinced if Whirl hadn't said anything that you would have broken. I was wrong. I see that now."

"But that doesn't tell me what's got you in such high spirits, my friend."

"To elaborate further..." Maximus paused, looked at the model pieces in his servos, and mulled over his words for a few moments. Rung quietly sat up and folded his hands in his own lap, the cover wrapped around his shoulders. "To elaborate further..I had some time to think about the words you had chosen, and the action you took last night. You proved to me multiple things. Being angry at something won't change what happened, or make it any better - all it will do is cause me suffering. We had established that - but I didn't believe you. I had mistaken being angry and refusing to forgive someone as the same thing. It's alright not to forgive, but it isn't alright to hurt myself and others by continuing to be enraged by it. Last night you demonstrated that. You were no longer angry with me for nearly killing you and Whirl - for risking your patients. You didn't show up at my door throwing punches. To do so would have hurt you and your patients further. You showed up at my door with words, trying to establish an understanding. You hadn't forgiven me."

"So...you understand and believe now that all this time, harboring your anger has only served to hurt yourself more? Please, Maximus, you must understand - the only thing I have ever wished to do is to help you. You are entitled to your feelings - it's okay to hurt, and to not forgive Prowl, or anyone involved for the terrible injustices they put upon you. But to continue with your courses of action will only torture you further."

"I understand that Rodimus wants you to focus first on preventing me from believing that hurting any more crew members will ever result in anything desirable. But I understand that you agree with that course of action and that is the only reason that you have been focusing so long on suppressing my thirst for violence."

"Yes-yes, that's exactly it, Max. If you harm more crew members I will be barred -anyone will be barred from speaking with you. You will be contained in high security until we happen to pass by Cybertron. That is the very last thing I want. I would no longer be able to lend you my psychiatric assistance. So the very first course of action would be to prevent that from happening, Maximus - I had planned this before Rodimus had spoken with me."

"But it's true - you're not just spouting lies you don't believe just to pacify me. I'm...I don't think I'm ready to talk about Garrus 9. I don't think I will ever be. But I am ready to continue with whatever the next course of action is, Rung. I trust you. I am in high spirits this morning, I have allowed myself this small moment of glee, because I have a glimmer of hope, Rung. For the first time in years I have hope. Thank you."