AN: I've been reading some A/H recently. Then I got an amazing idea of fluff and romance and such...
Disclaimer: I'm not Eoin Colfer so piss off.
Holly Short stood in front of Fowl Manor. Artemis had invited her to have dinner with him, since his family went on a vacation, and he, being a 'busy genius' declined. The Butlers also joined the rest of the family.
So this is where she ended up.
With a sigh, Holly pushed the great doors of the Manor. "Artemis?"
No answer. Where could the sneaky Mud Boy wander off? Holly decided to check his study. She found nothing. She tried his room. Still nothing. Holly cursed under her breath and thought that maybe Artemis just went off to buy something.
She wandered the Manor for a few minutes, before seeing the glass doors leading to a hallway that she imagined as the library. Shrugging, she decided to check it out, for the effort of letting boredom pass.
Her hands ran through the hard-bound covers of various novels. One particular novel caught her eye, and she immediately grabbed it and sat on the floor. She was about to read, when she realized it was quite dark. Maybe Artemis reads by the fireplace wearing bathrobes and drinking hot chocolate? Holly suppressed a snort of laughter at the ridiculous idea.
Holly opened the book and began to read the first chapter...
It was a dark night, and all people should be asleep at this hour. But not Douglass Filch. He was in a castle, holding a lamp and was setting off to find out what was on the other end of the corridor...
She stopped reading. Man, this novel was giving her the creeps. Holly returned it and got up to look for another novel to read. She chose one and settled for reading it.
My princess, please be safe in thy journey to the Land of Magic. The noble king needs the magical stones so that his sickness may be healed. Fair maiden, take care!
The prince was left in the castle weeping. Then, he set out for an adventure to kill a dragon. I must look for my secret birthmark, the noble youth said.
No, Holly thought. This book reminds me of Orion... Holly shuddered. Then, the prince is such a girl, she thought afterwards. Holly, unsatisfied with the book returned it to it's proper place.
She walked through the dark corridors and began peeking at the titles. Maybe a bit of romance wouldn't hurt...
"Dear Samuel! Save me!" Jane yells through the howling winds.
"Don't worry, I'll save you!" Samuel climbs up the high building for the girl he loved. He had reached her finally.
"Oh, Samuel. I thought you have forgotten me."
"I will never forget you, my love." Their lips met in a clash of sparks. As Jane fumbles over Samuel's trousers...
Holly shut the book. Wow, that girl was so melodramatic. And please... intercourse on the tower? Very professional there, Samuel. She returns it back to the shelf when another book fell. Curiously, Holly picks it up and reads the cover. A love between species. By... Artemis Fowl the Second. Holly immediately opens it...
Chapter One: The meeting (Nice title there, Holly thought dryly)
Patrick Rhodes is a very exceptional boy. He is a genius, a millionaire, and above all, a criminal mastermind. (That's totally you, Mud Boy)
But he was friendless. He was alone in his life. And that was the reason he never regretted kidnapping a fairy named Danae Wilkins. For kidnapping her, he found a friend. He did let her go, the same day he had kidnapped her.
Danae and Patrick crossed each other many times. She saved both of his parents. But after the final straw for the fairies, they removed Patrick's memories.
But Danae never forgets the Mud Boy.
It so happened, that the certain Mud Boy was needed by the fairies. They restored his memories, and after he helped put down a goblin revolution, he was proclaimed a friend.
Danae and Patrick became best of friends. They helped each other track down criminals, but then, they were needed to save the world again. Danae had asked him once if they could ever have one meeting at Starbucks.
They saved the world from the demons, and Patrick missed three years of his life. When he came back, he found out he had brothers. Also, he saved Danae's life. But also, Patrick is still a scheming Mud Boy. He had stolen magic.
Then one day, Patrick's mother fell ill, he tried to heal her, but failed, and worsened the sickness instead. He pleaded for Danae to help, and she obliged. She couldn't do anything. The only cure to the sickness was a sifaka lemur's brain fluid. And Patrick killed the last one of them.
Also, he lied to her. He told her that she caused his mother's sickness. They went back in time through the help of a friend. Many things happened. Danae kissed him, and since the conscience was bothering Patrick, he confessed his lie. Danae told him her trust could not be easily attained again.
They rescued the lemur, but exposed Patrick's mother to an old enemy.
Patrick came up with an illness after that. Maddened by guilt and paranoia, he suffered from Atlantis Complex. Even when he betrayed her trust, Danae still cared for him. She helped him, in every step of the way.
Then the old enemy came back to end the existence of humans. She unleashed the Berserkers, and they possessed his family. The enemy killed her younger self, and destroyed Danae's city.
Patrick sacrificed for it. He died, but came back. But when he did, all of his memories are gone...
He remembers now, but as of what's next in his life, I do not know. There are still many chapters ahead. But one thing is for sure, Patrick loved Danae.
Holly stared at the book. She was sure that Patrick was Artemis and she was Danae. If Patrick loved Danae... does that mean...
"Ah, I never expected you here, Captain."
She flinched and turned to face Artemis. "Uh, I was just reading... a book of yours."
Artemis suddenly blanched. His eyebrows scrunched together. "What book?"
"Who would have thought that the criminal mastermind Artemis Fowl the Second is a sappy romantic?" She giggles. "Orion must be getting to you."
Suddenly, Artemis's very white face turned into a violent shade of crimson. Holly began to laugh and put her arms around his neck. She stopped laughing as soon as he presses his lips to hers.
"By the way, Arty. I hope this book of yours is not as cliche' as the other novels."
Artemis groaned.