AN: this story is from multiple points of view I hope you like it
Not like this
I'd always wanted to be here to meet this man, the one they call The Messiah. To see him to hear his voice and maybe even to touch him however briefly. I never wanted it to happen like this... never like this.
I never wanted to watch as he was arrested. I never wanted to see him brought before the High Priest and accused of blasphemy. I never wanted to hear my voice cry "Barabbas!" and "Crucify him!". I never wanted to put a crown of thorns on his head. I never wanted to hear my voice mock him. I never wanted to watch as my hands grabbed that stick and brought it down on his head.
I never wanted to watch as he struggled to carry that cross. I never wanted to watch the blood mixed with sweat run down his face. I never wanted to drive those nails into his hands, his feet. I never wanted to watch has he struggled to breath hanging from that cross. I never wanted my mistakes to be the cause of his suffering and death.