Manda's note: I don't really remember where this came from. All I do know is that it's somthing that I started at the beginning of the summer and for some reason am just now posting. there's a whole story to come from it so I hope it catches your eye. insted of my usual long note I'm just going to credit Roo because she puts up with me and she gave me the title of it. and the rest is history. so read, review! Enjoy!

"Mommy?"

She can hear Rebecca Liron Puckerman question behind the door as she's got the key in the door handle and she's slowly pushing it open. The days been long and hard and the voice behind the door for some reason relieve her. The voice behind the door has always made her feel good and she doesn't really know how to explain it. Maybe it's the innocence to it all, maybe it's the reminder of her past. Whatever it is she actually smiles for the first time in hours. She pushes the door in and takes the gold headband out of her hair letting it fall into messy place.

"Sorry shrimp"

Santana apologizes once she has the television fully open. Li doesn't care though, the ten year old already has her arms wrapped around the waist of the girl she's grown up with. Bending down she picked up the little girl a little more than half her age and squeezes her and buries her head into Li's shoulder saving the moment. Li had been the fragile and sick one from day one, the reason Jane Puckerman gave up school to be a school teacher to settle into being a nurse. She's needed this all day as she clings to Li with her eyes closed wishing they were back an entire year. It's the only place she doesn't have to be a total bitch, the only place she can be herself and she'd been able to since the day she'd first stepped into the house when she was nine. She carries Li into Puck's bedroom after waving to the neighbor, Mrs. Sutherland, and telling her that she doesn't have to stay around. She knew that Jane had to have called her in a rush when she'd left the house.

"How'd you guys do Ana? Did you and Noah sing your solo good? Mommy said that Noah's baby's being born today too! Did you see it? Does she look like Noah?"

The kid's questions really weren't helping her as she turned her back to the child who was now jumping up and down on Puck's bed like she'd had too much sugar in her system. Jane probably hadn't gotten a chance to remind the older woman that too many sweets and Li didn't exactly mix. It wasn't like she could explain to Li that the baby that Quinn had had was something she despised. How do you explain to a eight year old that her brother was a good for nothing jackass at times? Yea, Santana Lopez was better off just biting her tongue and bullshitting an answer to appease her.

"Not so hot kid, don't think Noah and I'll have Glee club much longer. That means that we'll just have to come annoy you more than usual"

Reaching out she grabbed Li's legs making her fall down on Puck's bed and giggle before getting back up and jumping like the energizer bunny yet again. Santana walked forward to Puck's dresser and pulled a clean pair of pajama pants out and grabbed one of his tee shirts off the floor, one that would still have his scent trapped in it. On her way to walk back to the bed she finally figures her words out on what to say about the baby.

"I donno kid, babies all look the same don't they? I'm sure Noahhh will tell you all about her when he gets home. You can annoy him with questions then kay?"

Moving her hair out of the way she stands still and waits for Li to pull down her zipper so she can get rid of the gold and black dress that she never wants to see again. A day that she never again wants to be reminded of. The only thing Santana wants to do is slip into Puck's clothes, cuddle on couch with Li watching Camp Rock till they get home, then be Puck's shoulder till he falls asleep. Monday, being the last day of school will be a new day. She'll be able to slip into her Cheerios uniform with a classic Santana smirk and her head held high. It's all the things she believes she can count on anyway.

The things she'd learned through the years had been simple, 'if someone was offering something that would make you feel better – don't say no' 'if you love someone they'll probably walk out on you' and 'never trust 'celibate' blonde whores because they're probably fucking your boyfriend behind your back' they were all rules that Santana Lopez took to heart. Every single one of them seemed to hold a little bit of truth in them. That's how she'd gotten to the position she was sitting in after all. Had Quinn either kept her legs shut and her mind open to girl code that said 'never to sleep with your best friend's guy', or, had she at least had the common decency to get rid of her mistakes before it could actually be a regret things would have been so much better. Then she very well could have been enjoying the success of singing her first solo in front of hundreds of people. But no, the blonde bitch just had to take all her fun away. That was the way it had always been, Quinn getting everything while she sat back and watched. She'd been sick of the way Quinn did things from day one, hold your friends close but your enemies closer was something her mother had told her every day before she'd died. Who would have thought It'd of turned out so true?

"What's a matter Ana? Something wrong with your contact?"

The younger voice wafted to her ears breaking her from her spell. She was running on auto pilot now. Santana couldn't hardly remember changing or walking to the mirror on the inside of Puck's closet door. Li was standing there with her glasses in hand though, a typical routine from when she learned how to slip them in. From when Li had been very little they'd always teamed up together to pick on Puck. The name of the game had been Li and Ana take on the world. She couldn't really remember a time the younger kid hadn't tried so hard to get her mind off of whatever was going on. Weather it had been month year old Li who'd cried when anyone but eight year old Ana's arms had been the one to carry her the day of Santana's mother's funeral or ten year old Li who'd found her crying in the tree house the day Puck had told her Quinn's bastard was his. There'd always been a bond between the Latina and the hazel eyed kid. It made her muster up a weak smile as she shook her head and dropped her left contact in the solution before reaching for her glasses from Li's hand.

"We gonna watch Demi Lavato and the Jonas Brothers or what shrimp?"

Changing the topic was just easier. She couldn't even let Li know that there was a chance that her biggest fear in life could have been taking place. She could have been losing Puck without any way of winning him back. Santana had always held the fear, from the time she was four and Jodie Mills had picked him first to play with her. They were Puck and Santana or Santana and Puck, she hated anything and everything that got in the way. That was part of her restraint that kept her from being as close as she could have been to him. Who wanted to be close to anyone that could break you in a single word? That wasn't the way either one of them worked.

"I'll get you Noah's transformers quilt and meet you on the couch!"

Santana nodded her head as she slipped her hands under the frames of her glasses to cover her eye. Why was she such a fucking mess over a baby being born? Maybe it was because the bastard belonged to her boyfriend? ex boyfriend? Best friend? Friend? The kid belonged to her Puck.

Sometime around two in the morning Jane Puckerman had finally stopped texting her. She'd settled into a comfortable sleep, Li crashed by ten after hours of Camp Rock, High School Musical, and Good Luck Charlie. Her head comfortably on Santana's arm, she slept like a brick, so much different from her brother. Santana herself had fallen asleep knowing that Puck was in dream land with his head resting comfortably on his mother's shoulder. Jane had been sure to include that in her last text message. For some reason that's what had finally allowed her to lull herself straight into dream land comfortably. Knowing that he was with his mother rather than the blonde bitch who'd just pushed out his kid. Knowing that Puck wasn't with Quinn and for the evening hadn't decided that he wanted to spend his life with her had made her feel better. She'd slept fairly well, under the transformers quilt with the tee shirt that still smelled like him. It nearly gave her the façade that she was comfortably tucked into his arms.

Day light had broken and the sun was streaming into the windows as Santana's brown eyes started to blink open. She could already hear the television playing early Sunday morning cartoons on cartoon network. Santana could feel Li's slight weight on her legs as she adjusted and moved in her process of waking up. She'd actually felt pretty good regardless of the troublesome circumstances that presented themselves the day before. She remembers every moment clearly. Stretching her arms above her head she felt Li hop off of her and a few moments later the little girl was sliding her glasses onto her face for her. Soon as Santana was able to see through the haze of sleep she focused on Li she watched Li walk away from her into the adjoining dining room.

"How long have you been up shrimp?"

With a voice that's full of sleep she blinks her eyes a couple of times till Li re appears in the room, two bowls, spoons, and box of banana cheerios in her arms. Much as she loves getting up and throwing her uniform on or waking up to the smell of Puck's pancakes cooking on the stove top, she's pretty sure waking up to Li is just as good. There's something about the Puckerman's, always trying to feed to soon after your eyes open. The familiarity of everything makes her smile as she reaches out for a bowl and patiently waits for the cheerios.

"You know that Puck loves you? More than our daddy ever loved mommy. He told mommy that the day that Quinn moved in. Mommy called him a lot of names that night. Things that included calling him a bastard and a dumbass, she told him you should hate him. You don't hate him right Ana? That's why there's still a lot of annoying noise from his room some nights when you two have the door closed. Even though Mommy said you two shouldn't have the door closed."

Santana could feel her cheeks nearly flash a shade of scarlett as a smirk made its way to her face and she stretched her legs to stand up off of the couch. Even if that night's not something she really wants to remember, only the day before she was kicked out of his bed by the tubby blimp sized blonde, she's shocked to know that Jane had actually sworn at him. She'd walked in at the tail end of it. Then there's the second part of Li's statement. they weren't supposed to have the door closed anymore since Hanukah, she might have celebrated Christmas all of her life but she'd been around the Puckerman's to learn enough about the holiday to know that it was eight days of presents. Well, for the past three years Puck's eight days of presents had been eight days of sex. They'd only been caught on the fourth day of the year that had passed. The memory of sitting down with Jane to be lectured still played in her mind and tempted her to laugh.

"Rebecca Liron, that language is not for you to use. Even if you brother is and can be everything you just said, at times."

Leaving the comment about love alone along with the sounds that came from Puck's room at night, she walked to the kitchen to get the milk from the fridge. She'd just have to make a note to take their 'noises' outside or to the car. Walls were paper thin anyway. Just because she liked to watch him become antsy and guilty after getting yelled at didn't mean that she liked to be yelled at herself. Jane had been the only one (besides Sue Sylvester who didn't really count for much) to sit her down and tell her not to do something. Then again, Jane had also been the one to drag her to the clinic to get birth control when she was fourteen. She guessed that came along with Jane finding out her son got into a fight with the high school junior who'd stolen her virginity in a vial and painful way. Jane had just been protecting her when she's put her on the pill. Santana had known that from the first day she'd popped the first pill into her mouth.

She'd carried the milk back into the living room and put it on the coffee table before collapsing back on her butt beside Li and pouring herself a bowl of cereal. Li had just started a movie, probably from what she could guess was Toy Story, Puck and Santana's favorite, when the door knob started to jiggle. Santana had put the bowl down and was up on her knees to look over the back of the couch in a matter of seconds. She'd never been so anxious to wrap her arms around him before. She sounded like a walking chick flick which disgusted her. Jane was the first one in the house, her eyes heavy with sleep that Santana doubted had come. She gave them both a tired smile, just like the ones she threw out when she got home from work late.

"Santana, I'm begging you to keep in mind that he needs you ok?"

Jane's words made her feel as if the blood in her veins had suddenly stopped circulating. Jane's statement couldn't have meant a good omen. The bouncy and happy feeling she'd had earlier started to crash around her. The sensation only got worse when he walked into the house. The infant car seat hanging from his bicep worked arm. Her eyes so stuck on it that she didn't see Jane shut the door behind him. That might have made her feel a little better but, instead she felt like there was something stuck in her lungs and she couldn't breathe. without even so much as making eye contact with him Santana had slipped on her flip flops, left her cell phone on the table and grabbed her keys… slamming the door on her way out of the house and out of his life.