Summary:
The future is bleak. Full of regrets and pain. When Yona died, she had nothing but regrets. The next destination of her journey in life had been at a stop but the next time she woke up, she fell back to the place she didn't expect to be...AU
Warning: OOC-ness sort of. I think this is going to be AU since Yona is a weenie bit different. Maybe a bit dark too.
Disclaimer: Akatsuki no Yona doesn't belong to me.
When darkness falls upon the land...
The dragons' blood will restore life once more.
In accordance to the ancient pact,
When the four dragons are gathered,
The sword and shield that protect the king will awaken.
The red dragon will return at dawn.
Ashes. Blazing red flames burst to life everywhere and gray smoke curled towards the sky… The smell of sulfur, burning bodies, metal and blood wafted in the air— She ran past the whole field, ignoring the blood on her heels as she moved. She needed to find them. She kept repeating that in mind, ignoring the garbled yells, screams of pain and war cries around her. The sounds of metal clashing grated her ears and she was very well aware of the anguished cry that followed. They all passed by her as she tried to look past the chaos.
(Not here. They're not here.)
She looked past the faces. Black hair (Not as black as Hak's)—Brown (Not Yoon's strawberry blonde)—Grey (Not Kija's Silver)— Blue, Green, yellow—
No. Not them. Different faces. Different eyes.
Blank eyes stared at her and she denied the slowly aching feeling in her chest. Unseeing eyes don't belong to them— Those touches of coldness in their faces do not belong to them. Where are they? Purple eyes scanned the whole field, looking beyond faces, alive and dead—searching. She bit her lip, frustration bubbling inside her. She sidestepped an attack that nearly took off her head, swinging her sword expertly, decapitating the man immediately as she left him, her priority set in stone as she scanned the whole battlefield again.
Where is everyone?
A silver tip of an arrow glistened in the light, aiming for the girl. A swirling arrow flew in the air, fast and direct. Oblivious but wary, purple eyes widened as she caught sight of it, a hand moving to deflect. Her sword was half-lifted in the air but she knew she was a second too late as the arrow drew close. She gritted her teeth, moving to dodge even with the barest chance when a blur entered her vision. Her mouth fell open for a silent scream as she saw familiar blue robes and black hair standing in front of her. A quick piercing, digging into flesh. Blood filled the air.
"Ha—"
—A blade protruded from the blue figure's chest and Yona watched in horror as he crumpled beneath her.
"—hime."
Hiryuu Castle: the castle named after the first king of the Kouka Kingdom—King Hiryuu—who was considered the greatest king of all history of Kouka and who existed from thousands of years ago. Hiryuu Castle—the place representing authority of the king of the kingdom. Whoever holds and resides in the place is the ruler of the kingdom.
Hiryuu Castle…
Once upon a time, this was her home. Once upon a time, this was her home for the 16 years of her life.
(—Before she lost everything she had.)
Hiryuu Castle…a place she resented after her father's murderer took the throne. A place she returned to after the long journey of never ending strife which led her to take her place on the throne again. She was 24 years old. She was the Queen of Kouka. She led the armies of her kingdom, trying to protect and ensure its future. She was Yona, the girl of the red dawn.
…that's what it's supposed to be.
.
.
.
Princess Yona.
Emperor Il's one and only daughter—Kouka's treasure.
Current age: 13. Appearance: Long red hair, purple eyes. Status: In shock.
The dawn was approaching, coloring the sky in a beautiful red light. The birds and the wildlife have awoken, alight in the new day that has come. The servants and occupants of Hiryuu Castle were up and about, ready to tackle their duties for the new day. Emperor Il has awoken as well, smiling at the red dawn reminding him of his daughter.
The mirror fell from her grasp, shattering into pieces on the ground. One shard slid towards her foot, cutting the skin. Blood rushed out from the wound, pooling into a little puddle on the ground. The blood stained shard reflected a horrified face of a young girl with long curly red hair…wide purple eyes. She made a noise of disbelief, knees shaking as she fell to the ground shock racking her to the core.
What…is this?
Purple eyes stared at the blood pooling on the ground. It hurt. But the sensation was far from painful. That wasn't supposed to be. It shouldn't be—
(A sword rested on her neck, the silver bloodied blade glistening in the dark sun… This is it. A quick cut and it would be over. The sword rose in the air— Purple eyes closed—)
The bright red dawn descended into Hiryuu Castle. Yona lifted her head, her tears glistening in the red light.
.
.
.
—and screamed.
The morning air was warm as 15-year-old Hak casually bit his apple, lounging against a pole. Hiryuu Castle was quiet and peaceful as always and the old men were discussing matters in the throne room, leaving Hak to his devices. General Mundok told him to attend but he could care less about the state of matters. He didn't want anything to do with the nobility or royal family even if the king himself asked him to attend. Or he was forced to. He refused to be tied to anything regarding that.
"You brat." Hak paused as he chewed, glancing at the old man who came up to him. General Mundok, the head of the Wind tribe loomed over him, annoyed as he looked over his grandson in all but blood. "The meeting of the five tribes was today, and I told you that you had to attend as a member of the wind tribe, didn't I?" He gave him a stern look from his one eye, the other closed.
Hak shrugged nonchalantly. "So long as Lord Mundok, the head of the Wind tribe and the Fifth general of Kouka Kingdom attends the meeting…" he bit into his apple. "That's all that matters. Besides, I can't be bothered to listen to King Il's happy-go-lucky nonse—"
"You fool!" the man bellowed, making Hak flinch. "Don't call me 'Lord Mundok'! Call me 'Grandpa'!"
"Ha?! That's what you're upset about? We aren't even related by blood!" Hak retorted, annoyed, throwing the first punch. Mundok evaded, throwing his own that the young teen dodged. A fight ensued as the two trading blows, though none actually connecting. The two knew each other too much this was more of a dance than a fight, including the old argument...
"Blood? Ha! In the face of love, blood is powerless!"
Hak stuck out his tongue at him. "What love? You—"
"Now, now…" a chastising voice interfered. The two paused as a stout man with red expensive robes appeared before them, smiling. "If a fight between General Mundok and his successor keeps on fighting, Hiryuu Castle will be blown away, won't it?" the man teased. The two immediately broke up, General Mundok immediately bowing.
"I apologize, your Majesty."
Hak snorted, just standing as King Il placated the man. "Maa, it's alright. You don't have to bow, General Mundok."
'Crap. I called him happy-go-lucky".' Hak silently lamented in his mind, as he recalled his words a while ago. He took a step back. King Il didn't seem to notice or have any idea of it as he stepped up to him with a smile. "It's been a long time, Hak. It's lonely without you coming over to play at the castle like you did long ago." The king said engagingly.
"Well, it's not right for a commoner like me to come and go as I please…" Hak put a hand behind his head, embarrassed. He's already 15 and it's not exactly like he could just 'play' anymore.
"Don't worry about that." The king said kindly. "Yona gets lonely without you here, too."
Hak laughed. The princess being lonely without him was in a word: impossible. He's very much aware he's not Soo-won. "You happy-go-lucky liar." He blurted out reflexively, still smiling. There was a brief pause as the king seemed to process that.
"Happy-go-lucky…?"
"..."
Hak gulped, knowing he was officially royally screwed.
In an instant, he was at General Mundok's feet, being slapped mercilessly by a paper fan. "What does that mean, boy?! This is it! This insolent brat isn't my grandchild anymore!"
"Wha- OW! I told you we weren't related by blood! OW!"
King Il laughed easily, as he raised a hand to stop them—again. "Now, now. Violence is wrong, Mundok." He chided lightly. Mundok stopped, bowing again. King Il wore a smile again as he spoke. "To be frank, Hak's honesty is what I love about him." Hak stood up, grimacing as he rubbed his head. King Il beckoned him forward and the boy complied with raised eyebrow. The king raised a hand with a steamed bun. "Have a steamed bun." Bewildered, Hak accepted it readily as the king continued to smile. "So, Hak, would you stay in the castle permanently, as Yona's bodyguard?" he offered.
'Should've known.' Hak let out a small sigh as soon as he heard the dreaded question again. It had to be the third time he had been asked. He'd been counting. "Your Majesty," he started. "I can't help it if I find being a 'noble' a bother. If I enter the castle and become a general, I won't be able to take leisurely afternoon naps at home."
"Hak…" King Il tried to negotiate but Hak was already turning away.
"Your Majesty hates weapons right?" Hak turned with a challenging smile, "Then see if you can find a person who treasures and can guard someone without using a weapon, your Majesty. Have a good day."
"Hak!"
Hak sighed as he bit into his steamed bun, silently lamenting his lost apple. He often wondered why the offer was always to him and not to others but of course, his majesty thought he was the 'perfect choice' for the work. Ironically speaking though, babysitting is not something he wanted to trade for his naps. Especially when the job description itself states that he had to be around that certain princess. Not like he had ever met any other princesses aside from her but just not…that princess if he would prefer. He didn't like nobles and their hidden agenda mumbo-jumbo but being around the princess was...mind boggling in a way.
He felt a twinge in his chest at the thought but shook his thoughts away. It was always easier when he does that. Dwelling on his feelings just made them murkier.
It's bothersome. He thought as he bit the steamed bun again, scratching his head.
As the young teen left them, King Il let out a rueful sigh. Mundok turned to him with another bow. "I apologize, your Majesty."
"It's alright, Mundok." King Il responded with a disappointed smile. "I just hoped he would accept."
Mundok couldn't find fault in the king's choice. Hak was a rising force in Kouka— his planned successor which is not an ordinary feat as the selection had never entailed the easiest choices. If the boy ever comes around to a decision then he will gladly step down as a general and give the title to him when he is ready. He cannot possibly force a wind to obey after all. All of Kouka knows he is the strongest fighter yet and will continue to be in the future. Along with Soo-won who might just become the king after he marries Yona, the three of them might make impact in Kouka's future. Though that remains to be seen as of yet… He'd been worried ever since he entered the castle and heard some rather disturbing talks. "Your Majesty," he started hesitantly. "If I may be so bold to speak…"
King Il turned to him with a carefree smile. "Yes, what is it?"
"I've been hearing disturbing rumors since I arrived at the palace. About Yona-hime's supposed condition…"
King Il blinked, closing his eyes in resignation as a weary sigh escaped his lips. "Oh."
Mundok cleared his throat, taking this as a cue to continue. "Yona-hime is said to have an illness that has been going on for about a year now. Rumors entail that she is," he hesitated for a moment, "...crazy and delusional and had once tried to take her life. But I do not know how much of that is true. I do not understand, your Majesty," he emphasized, "This is Yona-hime we are talking about, not only is it worrying, I cannot fathom why she would do that. I'd rather hear the truth from your Majesty than from these disturbing rumors"
King Il stayed silent for a while, before he sighed deeply, staring off in the distance. "Yona is no longer…sick, so to say. In the beginning, yes, she seemed like she was but no longer." a bitter smile appeared on his lips, "She is just…withdrawn."
Mundok raised a brow. "What do you mean, your Majesty?"
"Yona has changed, in a way." he sighed, "She is more silent and rarely smiles. For some reason, she often stares off in the distance and even if they lessened now, she constantly had nightmares. I took her to a physician and all the doctors available at Kouka and they said she is going through a trauma. When asked about it, she never tells anything, only she kept apologizing…to me." His brows furrowed as he closed his eyes at the reminder, feeling pained. "There is a chance that in my neglect of her, I might have been to blame for that..."
"I am sure it is not your majesty's fault…" Mundok tried to assure him. King Il shook his head.
"She rarely speaks to me, Mundok. When she does, she seemed pained that I cannot understand."
Mundok actually looked perturbed at this. King Il only smiled again, only a little less brighter than before as he started to walk away from the man. "Let's just hope, in time she might be able to smile again. Maybe a familiar face like Hak will help her…"
Yona stared blankly at her reflection at the mirror. Long curly red hair, wide violet eyes… a face looking younger than before— A 13-year-old girl. How…ironic. She had been expecting all of this was a dream and she would wake up again and see a 24-year-old girl with short red hair with slightly narrowed eyes. But it wouldn't. She always woke up to this face.
She held up a strand of hair, letting the curls twirl in her finger as she recalled her failed attempt of cutting it off last time. The maids had freaked out, seeing her raise a knife towards her neck, towards the junction where her long hair rested. It hardly mattered that time. She had only wanted to change the unsettling image that just wasn't right on her. But they never let her hold something sharp again. And reflecting on this incident later, the princess sheepishly admitted that it might have not been the best way to cut it. The maids thought she was trying to end her life.
Yoon would have nagged at her, lecturing her for being thoughtless. Yona shook her head, letting the strand fall as she placed her hands on her lap and recalled the events that happened in a year since coming back to the past.
After that incident, whispers of her being crazy and delusional were not hard not notice after they had taken on her sudden turn of attitude and the silent drawbacks of her crumbling down in a mess. That was somewhat understandable. She seemed crazy even to herself that time. Who wakes up every night, screaming from the images of dead people? Her precious people…gone and her all alone. And as if it couldn't have been worse, her father, King Il who was dead to her for years, was alive and worried. And all she could see was the sight of him bleeding in front of that man.
Yona shook her head again, letting out a sigh.
A week. It took her a week in the past to understand that this was her reality. After exploring this so called 'home', and a few more events of her deliberately hurting herself to prove that she was just dreaming and it wouldn't hurt, she had more or less, accepted it. She had been thrown in the past. Or at least her soul was. She was a 24-year-old in a 13-year-old body. It was surreal—She didn't know how it happened, how she came to this place— But she died… Her memories were murky and are all over the place but she knew she did. Her early memories seemed untouched but her reign as the Queen until the last war they were fighting were a little spotty so to speak. It might have been the trauma or she had hit herself hard when she came to the past but she could never forget that morning when she woke up to her room, not in the blood filled field she remembered standing on. It was as if the sky was mourning with her as the red dawn gazed on her and her world turned upside down again.
She accepted it. This was her new beginning.
Even if two months later, the nightmares still didn't go away.
Nightmares. It plagued her, along with the faces of the people she had left back in her time and cannot go back anymore. Yona sighed again, standing to sit by the window. Sleep came as a curse. If she had been hailed as crazy and delusional, she might just been. For a while, she felt guiltier every time she dared herself to sleep. And to no one's surprise, even the ladies-in-waiting that were assigned to her, she always woke up crying her heart out. (I don't deserve to live...)
Having herself surrounded by luxury she hadn't indulged and didn't really need and simply living seemed like a sin to the people she had left behind. Seeing her father alive when he had dead to her for years didn't help matters and she had laughed bitterly to herself that it could be even worse if she ever saw people that she could see in the palace like Hak or Soo-won.
(I don't want to see your faces...)
She had shut out everyone from her, often letting her father in but never doing anything else as she let the man talk to her. She listened, finding it better to hear him speak and make it more real that he was alive. She never spoke back but often uttered only two words every time her father leaves, crestfallen that she hadn't spoken to him again.
(I'm sorry.)
And sick of the nightmares she couldn't just ignore anymore, she often sneaked out in the night, finding a bow and an arrow, trying her aim again. It took her a while to find them without being caught. She indulged in the feeling of comfort the weapon brought her, ironic as it may that her father hated weapons and here was his daughter finding comfort in one. Her fingers were soft and smooth, free of the calluses she acquired from endless nights and her arms weak as she tried to draw the bow the first time (in this life). She had endlessly tried this to occupy her sleep in the nights, mindlessly shooting as she tried to recall all her memories about shooting an arrow.
Nightmares. She hated them with a passion.
In the day, she would often lay down on the grass as Hak usually did when they were younger. The cool grass and the warm sun and everything about the day seemed to chase away the nightmares when she slept. The warm sun reminded her of Zeno, bright and warm. The blue sky reminded her of Kija's eyes and white clouds as his hair. The moon hanging in the sky when it was near evening reminded her of Shin-ah, her moonlight. The bird flying free in the sky reminded her of Jae-ha who flew like a bird when he jumped. And lastly, the smell of grass was similar to herbs carried by Yoon.
She missed them terribly.
"Princess?" Yona turned to the maid who approached her cautiously, with a picnic blanket in hand. "Will you be sleeping in the garden today?" she asked. Yona gave her a small smile, shaking her head. Without another word, the maid left leaving her to her thoughts. Yona turned her gaze towards the window again. The maids had seemed to understand her inclination to sleep outside when she explained that the nightmares went away when she did and often laid down a blanket for her to lie down in the grass that time. She doubted they really did understand though with the dubious looks and eye rolling she got from those who saw her.
'How disgraceful for a princess to be so improper.'
'She must be seeking the attention of the King. Goodness, she knows His Majesty is just too busy to take care of her whims yet she still does it...'
Three months later after that incident, she broke out of that routine.
Night, just as she suspected, brought about nightmares. It was hard to accept them. Her nightmares where composed of her own memories. She could still picture them, happy and laughing even with the dark circles and fatigued looks they sported under her war filled reign. She could still see them supporting her all the way and helping as much but soon, the image is torn down as ashes replaced them and she is once again faced with the blood filled memory of seeing them on the ground, those blank eyes staring back at her.
Her nightmares were of the people she can't go back to. The people she failed. If she wanted to move on, she had to accept her failures. The guilt probably will never fade but she had to accept it.
(I will never forget.)
Sleep then, for a while, became better.
Five months since coming to the past, her archery miraculously wasn't discovered by anyone during these nights. Granted, there wasn't really anyone who was so keen on looking after a crazy girl and not even so by night. Her usual screaming after a nightmare seemed to become legendary now and no one wasn't even really paying attention anymore, except some kind servants who usually left her some milk to help her sleep and some other charms she really was touched by. No one was really obliged to look after a spoiled, pampered princess who was becoming (if not already) crazy and unhinged. Yona shook her head. Anything else she did by this point was bypassed as 'crazy' anyway. At these thoughts as she moved on to her swordsmanship, trying to recall all the things about this without actually delving into memories of her precious people since they were distracting. She scheduled the training every other night along with her archery.
Four months later, her birthday came. She didn't appear to the public again on the morning ceremony, preferring to show her face to only a select in case her fated sixteenth birthday would come around and the inevitable that she resolved to counter would never happen. That day, she didn't see Hak or Soo-won anywhere and was grateful for that even when a little saddened by the fact. She didn't really know what she would do is she ever saw them again but she was still grateful she didn't see them yet. She wasn't exactly in a mentally prime condition to face them anyway.
The year passed and she deemed herself at least a little bit sane and steady now that she had a goal. Or so Yona thinks so. She glanced at her table, at the book where she wrote her goals and ideals.
She had to make herself stronger. That was a goal that would never change. She was idealistic, she knew but even if the future was bleak and she had failed, she doesn't want to lose anyone anymore. She would try to prevent her father's death. And the countless Kouka citizen's that would be dying out there in her father's reign. She would try to resolve her father's way and if by chance, Soo-won wouldn't…he wouldn't…
She paused, looking at the crossed out goal from her list. She shook her head, smiling wryly. No. That would be a pointless dream. Soo-won wanted revenge just as he wanted to make Kouka a better place. Her father, King Il, loved peace. But it doesn't save anyone who was dying out of hunger while she was happily kept away in the palace—spoiled and ignorant of what was happening. As she had come realize all those years when she had been travelling to atone for her father's sins and help Kouka citizens, an iron fist was needed. What was the use of peace if the whole country was falling apart from its own peace? What does the king govern when his kingdom and people are dropping like flies and he doesn't even know?
Those excuses don't mean she would allow Soo-won to kill her father though, she thought as she looked at the boldly written - "SAVE FATHER" in her list. Her father detested weapons but she was going to protect him all the same even if that was a far-fetched goal at the moment. Even if her enemy was Soo-won. Her father's death was where it all started. It was where her world shattered. And it was the start of all her struggles. Here, she was starting anew again. And Soo-won was the obvious liability to this so called peace she was experiencing.
What could she do for Soo-won? She detested herself for seeing him as a good king in his reign when he united the five tribes again and helped Kouka to its feet. She should have hated him, scorned him in his back because he was the one who took everything away from her and in the end, he took away her friends but she didn't draw the sword. And that cost her more than she wanted…
She cannot say if the Soo-won of this time is innocent. She cannot discard the fact that right now he might have been plotting her father's murder. And she cannot discard all these possibilities and all of her memories of him when she meets him again. She couldn't guarantee that they won't resurface. That she wouldn't try to eliminate him once and for all now that she had a chance. She could mentally prepare herself as much as she wants but there's no saying what she would do if she meets him again. Somewhere rooted in her heart after all, their bonds from when they were young never disappeared.
Even if his words that night were never forgotten.
(Cold sea green eyes stared at her, delivering his next words without remorse or hesitation. "The Soo-won you know never existed.")
Back to the present, Yona sighed as she tucked the book away inside an empty vase and left her room. She needed to clear her head. It was useless over thinking things too much and she wanted a new breathe of air. She had already been past a few corners when she had spotted her father and a certain black haired teen talking. Her feet froze, lips parting in shock as her eyes widened.
"Your Majesty," his voice carried over to her, not as deep as she was used to but still his voice. "I can't help it if I find being a 'noble' a bother. If I enter the castle and become a general, I won't be able to take leisurely afternoon naps at home."
Unconsciously, Yona took a step back, her bangs covering her eyes. She remembered this day vividly.
"Your Majesty hates weapons right?" Hak turned with a challenging smile, "Then see if you can find a person who treasures and can guard someone without using a weapon, your Majesty. Have a good day."
She watched the teen walked away from sight, rooted on the spot. Unbidden, her chest tightened. Another reminder that she was really in the past—Hak. Back in her timeline, she had only witnessed the teen pledging his loyalty to her father and never had bothered much with knowing if her father had asked the teen directly or he made his own decision on the spot. Stumbling upon this scene was in a way, a relief and a pain. Relief because Hak was still deciding. And pain because this Hak will not be her Hak.
For the first time in a year, Yona spoke clearly and distinctly. "Are you trying to recruit Hak, Father?"
The two men in the hallway whirled in shock at her. She graced them with a small smile as she bowed. The king seemed overwhelmed that his daughter was speaking to him finally as he stuttered out a 'yes'. Yona shook her head at this. "Then please don't, Father."
"Don't what?" the king asked.
"Don't ask him to stay by my side."
As the two men were rendered speechless again, Yona stepped up to her father and whispered a few things to him. As the king's eyes widened, Yona gave him a sad smile and left.
"I'm sorry, Father."
A/N:
Hello~! It's my first time in this fandom and I've seen like - only two fanfics with time travel concepts. I can say I'm inspired by this two fanfic, namely: Fleeting Chances by xAoshiki and Rewritten Fate by LiGhTdArK-GiRlz and I decided to write one myself (with the influence of many other time travels fics themselves if I'm to be honest.)
I'm willing to take any comments, critiques, etc. so please tell my your thought~! Thank you~!
Edited: October 23, 2015
Edited: October 11, 2016