His name was Abel Rosas. He was one of Peggy's friends and a year older than the both of them. Johanna always thought he blended into the background around everyone else. He was kind of small, barely a two inches taller than her, and he didn't talk very loudly. He contributed a lot to the group but it always seemed like everyone had to quiet down for anyone to really hear what he was saying. Abel wasn't the kind of guy that raised his voice or stood out in a crowd. Johanna liked that, but Peggy always seemed to take advantage of that.
"Come on. Abel will be there and you haven't gone out since last Monday!"
"Maybe I don't want to go out. Maybe I want to be cooped up in my room. Anyways, I don't really want to go on a double date with you, your girlfriend, and Abel. I don't even look at him like that."
Johanna could see Peggy frowning but she tried not to let it affect her. She did actually want to go out. If it had been anything but a date, she would have jumped on the chance to go somewhere with them. Except, it was a date and she could be sure that's how it was explained to him. He was a good friend, a good way to reel in all of Peggy's other more boisterous friends, but that was all. She didn't want to go on a date with him that wasn't platonic.
"It's just a movie, Anna. You can go home as soon as it's over, I promise. No one will be offended." Peggy reached out and took Johanna's hand, squeezing it gently. "You can't stay here alone all the time. You won't get any better that way."
"I won't get any better even if I go out, Pegs," Johanna said quietly, looking at her feet. She hated knowing that Peggy was right but she hated even more that she was considering it. She wanted to get better, but she wanted it on her own terms. With a heavy sigh, she shook her head. As if she could say no to Peggy.
"Fine. I'll go. But I'm not doing anything after the movie, under any circumstances."
Peggy squealed happily, throwing her arms around her sister and kissing her cheek. Johanna fought off the smile that always came with Peggy's affection and gently pushed her away.
"How am I supposed to get ready with you hanging on me? Go get your butt dressed and grab me when they're here."
[]
There were no words to explain how much Johanna was hating the movie. She thought it sounded fine. What could possibly be wrong with a romcom? Apparently, a lot of things could be wrong. She felt more uncomfortable by the minute and the dark room wasn't helping at all. She had no clue if Abel even knew he was holding her hand and not the arm of the chair but she didn't like it and she couldn't pull away without feeling rude.
Johanna looked over at Peggy, who was snuggled up to her girlfriend with the arm pulled up, and leaned over to mutter that she was excusing herself. Johanna pulled herself out of the chair and walked quickly out of the theater, feeling her sister and Abel watch as she left.
She took a deep breath once she was out and plopped down on the bench closest to her. She couldn't come up with a good reason to leave early. Peggy was enjoying herself and asking Abel to drive her home didn't feel like the best idea for some reason. She considered just staying out in the hall for the rest of the movie but she realized there was still a full hour left. Johanna groaned and buried her head in her hands.
"Worst first date imaginable."
"Well, that sounds highly negative."
Johanna looked up and blinked a few times, trying to decide if what she was seeing was real. He couldn't be standing there. He hadn't been in New York in years. He had always just been something she imagined, at least for the past five years. It had to be another hallucination. Why wasn't she crying this time?
"Mind if I sit next to you?"
She moved over a little, making room for whoever this was. The more she looked, the less he reminded her of the other hallucinations. His hair was dark brown, for one thing, and his eyes were brown, not blue. He seemed tamer, less like he was always looking for something, and a bit more relaxed. He looked like he slept more often than not.
The man caught her staring and Johanna looked away quickly. I'm just full of different rude actions today, she thought, brushing her hair behind her ear. Maybe Peggy's right and I do need to go out more. I'm losing all real conversational skills.
"They must be pretty bad. You know, if they're the worst first date imaginable."
"Actually, I was talking about myself," Johanna responded. She didn't know why she was bothering to talk to someone she didn't know at all, let alone a stranger who approached her in a theater hall, but she was also half sure she was hallucinating again. It wouldn't be the first time she talked to one. "I practically ran out of there."
"Nervous?"
"No. I don't feel anything. That's half of the problem."
"And the other half?"
"Do you always console girls in movie theaters?"
"Only when they look like my little brother's favorite girl."
Johanna gave him a confused look and got ready to bolt back into the movie theater. That wasn't a normal thing to say. Of course, nothing about the situation was normal, but that set off a flag and she didn't like it. She tried to remember if she had her key on her.
"What's your name?" Johanna asked slowly.
"James Hamilton. I don't think you'd remember me from the orphanage since you were maybe four when I was adopted. I'm Alexander's older brother."
That explains why I thought it was-
"Wait. Wait, wait, wait. How the hell do you remember-"
"The scar above your eye. I was there when it happened. You fell off of a swing in the park and hit your head. I had to go get one of the adults."
Johanna almost laughed. She remembered that. She'd been trying to jump off of the swings like all of the older kids, just to prove that she could, but she let go too early and fell off instead. She still didn't like going on swings because of it.
"Alexander never talked about you."
"Well, he didn't like me much. He got left behind after all. I don't blame him for thinking poorly of me."
"Does that mean I can think poorly of him?" she muttered under her breath.
Johanna knew she never would. She was still far too attached to him. Knowing that she could, however, made her feel better. Even though he was one of the only things that made her feel okay when she broke down, she felt like he'd abandoned her. If she was allowed to be angry about it, she would feel a lot better.
James gave her a side look, a natural smile crossing his face. "You wouldn't even if you wanted to. I know that face you're making."
Johanna opened her mouth to ask what he meant when Peggy emerged from the theater door, looking around for. When her eyes settled on Johanna, she rushed over and hugged her briefly before giving her what Johanna guessed was her angry face. She looked more worried than anything else.
"What the heck are you doing? You've been out here for ten minutes!"
"Sorry. I must have kept her too long," James said, looking back to Johanna after. "I should be heading back anyways. It was nice to see you, Johanna. I hope you feel better."
"Who was that weirdo?" Peggy asked when he was out of earshot.
"Not a hallucination," Johanna joked. Peggy gave her a sharp, disapproving look and Johanna shrugged. "He was from my old home. A friend's older brother. It's not a big deal Pegs. I'm not hurt or anything and he didn't even try to touch me. You can get out of protective mode."
Peggy sighed, detaching from Johanna and pulling her up. "Let's just go back in. We're talking about this later."
Johanna rolled her eyes. She didn't see anything to talk about but there was no way out of it. If Peggy didn't make her talk, she'd have one of the other sisters do it. Maybe she'd even pull their dad into it. It was easier not to argue about it.
At least the whole night wasn't horrible. I still don't get why he approached me though.
[]
"Do I want to know why that took you so long?"
"I ran into someone. Did you miss me or something?"
"As if. I thought you got lost."
James laughed quietly and leaned back in his seat. He had to admit, Alexander was a lot friendlier than he used to be. He came here with him, after all, and he wasn't even being that bitter about James's disappearance.
"So who'd you run into anyways?"
"Johanna. You know. The little girl you babied for a better part of two years."
Alexander raised an eyebrow, looking over him. James shrugged. It sounded far-fetched when he thought about what he was telling him but he didn't particularly care. It was the truth after all and Alexander didn't have to believe him if he didn't want to.
"…How is she?"
James looked back at him, seeing him looking straight ahead as if he was trying to pay attention to the movie instead of his question. James knew better though. Alexander was trying to hard not to look at him.
"She misses you."