JC: hey guys, i feel sry for you guys who rly like animepup's and my stories so ive decided to post something i found in my laptop. its a play i wrote for a project a year ago (2011/2012). so since animepup is basically USELESS, right now, and she wont be editing anything for a long time, i might as well give you guys something i wrote. This play is based on the original story "Snow White" but ive altered it to become a parody.
Hope you enjoy!
oh yea, btw, i actually DO own this story since i was the one who wrote it, i just dont own the original story of snow white.
SNOW WHITE (REMAKE ASA: BLACK ICE)
CHARACTERS
Giant #1
Giant #2
Giant #3
Prince
Book
Hunter
Evil Queen
Snow White
Narrator
SCENE ONE
NARRATOR: Once upon a time, there was a princess named Snow White. She had an evil stepmother, who was envious of her beauty.
EVIL QUEEN: That's why I ask my magic book "Who is the most beautiful?" everyday for self confidence.
NARRATOR: One day as always, the stepmother was consulting her book.
EVIL QUEEN: I am the most beautiful of all the people!
BOOK: Are you kidding? You're not even close! Have you even read the latest edition of Vogue Magazine? Snow white is this week's new fashion star. You are so yesterday!
EVIL QUEEN: (*Thinking* So much for support) Hmmm… I have a plan. I shall send Alex, the hunter to kill her! *Evil Cackle*
SCENE TWO
SNOW WHITE: *Skipping* LALALALALALA! Oh~ I just love this forest!
HUNTER:*Pops out of nowhere. Points gun at Snow White* Don't move a single inch!
SNOW WHITE: *Freezes* Please let me go! *then does puppy eyes at Hunter*
HUNTER: *Trembling* Ok, fine. I'll let you go this time! But those eyes won't work on the queen! She's dangerous! *Disappears into the shadows*
SNOW WHITE: It works every time!
NARRATOR: But even after receiving the warning, Snow White still continued to wander through the forest. Mean while, back at the Queen's layer…
HUNTER: I have brought you the heart of Snow White as you asked for earlier. *Hands over a box*
EVIL QUEEN: *Opens the box, takes out the heart, it's shaped like this ( 3 )* Wow! It looks just like the one I saw on a documentary last night! There's no mistake, its real!
HUNTER: Yeah… sure… What ever helps you sleep.
EVIL QUEEN: You're so loyal my hunter! *Giggle (Not in a sarcastic way). Turns around to face book* Ha! In your face you stupid book! Who's the fairest now?
BOOK: Snow White's still number one worldwide.
EVIL QUEEN: What do you mean? I have her heart right here. Stop messing with me! *Holds up heart (3)* See?
BOOK: Ya think that's real? Wow… (-_-) So basically what I'm here to say in case you haven't realized… it's a fake. Snow White's still alive.
EVIL QUEEN: WHAT!? UGH, Then I'll have no choice but to kill her myself!
SCENE THREE
NARRATOR: At the same time, Snow White was wandering through the forest until she came across a huge solid gold mansion.
SNOW WHITE: OH~ What a nice mansion! Now, I shall use my command to take over this place! *Yawn* But first, I need my beauty sleep. Then I will claim this mansion as mine. *Opens door. Lies on the first bed (chair)* This bed is too hard! *Squirms* It's not even made out of gold! It's silver! *Goes to next bed* This isn't gold either! This is made out of pearl! *Goes to last bed* This one is just right! Pure gold! You'll always be my favorite! *Starts snoring ungracefully*
NARRATOR: But what Snow White didn't realize was that the mansion belonged to three giants named Bobzilla, Boberella, and Bobaroni. They were coming home from their shift at Willy Wonka's Chocolate Factory.
GIANT #1,2,3: *Sing a cheery tune*
GIANT #1: HALT! *Giant #2, 3 pay no attention and bump into Giant #1* OW! DON'T YOU GIANTS EVER LISTEN TO ME?!
GIANT #2, 3: No… AND DO YOU ALWAYS HAVE TO YELL WHEN TALKING?!
GIANT #1: YES! DON'T YOU GIANTS HAVE ANY COMMON SENSE?! WHY DO YOU THINK MOMMY NAMED ME BOBZILLA?! ANYWAYS, LOOK AT OUR MANSION!
GIANT #2: *Le Gasp* Someone broke in!
GIANT #3: *Sarcasm* Wow, you just noticed?
GIANT #2: Hey! It's not nice to use sarcasm on a proper lady! *Strikes a fabulous pose* I'm telling Momma!
GIANT #1: Um… guys?
GIANT #3: *sigh* Here we go again. Kay, first of all, a "proper" lady never say "HEY" *Waves enthusiastically at audience* Second of all, "proper" ladies don't tattletale.
GIANT #1: Guys?...
GIANT #2: *Getting Frustrated* HEY! Who said I wasn't a lady! I'll show yo-
GIANT #1: GUYS!
GIANT #2, 3: WHAT?!
GIANT #1: WE SHOULD ELIMINATE THE INTRUDER FIRST! *Sly smile* Then you can continue your love quarrel.
GIANT #2, 3: Oka- HEY! This troll *Points at each other* is related to me! How does a love quarrel-…
GIANT #1: Yeah, yeah. Let's go already!
NARRATOR: In the mansion
GIANT #1: Hey, someone's been using our bathroom!
GIANT #2: *Gasp* Like our solid gold toilet and solid gold toilet paper and the solid gold plunger since the solid gold toilet paper didn't go down easily! How unsanitary! Now we have to buy new solid gold products!
GIANT #3: *Facepalm. Muttering gradually getting louder* All that money going down the drain… when we can use that money To Buy SOFTER BEDS!
GIANT #2: Speak for yourself! You got yourself a PURE GOLD BED!
GIANT #1: We should get goi-
GIANT #3: That's because it was the ONLY choice I had!
GIANT #2: *Mutters to self "Its always my fault"*
GIANT #1: HELLO?! Our mission?
GIANT #2, 3: *Not listening, instead having intense eye contest*
GIANT #1: *Sigh* What a bunch of idiots.
GIANT #2, 3: HEY! *Glare at eachother* STOP SAYING THE SAME THING AS ME!
GIANT # 1: Why don't the both of you just-
SNOW WHITE: SHUT UP!
ALL THE GIANTS: E-EH?!
SNOW WHITE: SOME OF US ARE TRYING TO GET SOME BEAUTY SLEEP ON THIS PURE GOLD BED!
ALL THE GIANTS: . . .
GIANT #1: Did she just say…
GIANT #2: Yes… Yes she did..
GIANT #1, 2: Uh-Oh
GIANT #1, 2: *Flinch. Turn around to look for GIANT #3* B-Bobe-eroni?
NARRATOR: But he was already storming up the stairs.
GIANT #3: *Mumbling* Just wait till I get my hands on that girl… NO ONE EVEN DARES TO TOUCH MY BED UNLESS I TELL THEM TO!
GIANT #1, 2: Double Uh-Oh!
SCENE FOUR
GIANT #3: *Cracks Knuckles* Grrr…
GIANT #1, 2: *Whispering* Wait for us!
ALL THE GIANTS: *Surrounds bed in "big bear" position*
GIANT #1: * Shows 1,2,3 with fingers. Yanks substitute blanket off on 3*
SNOW WHITE: Boo.
GIANT #1, 3: *Squeal*
GIANT #2: *Sigh, facepalm while shaking head* And they say they're the more "manly" ones.
GIANT #3: *Comes back to senses* Hey! What are you doing in my bed anyways!?
SNOW WHITE: Well, I WAS trying to get some sleep, that is, until you guys came.
GIANT #3: Oh, i'm sorry, maybe I should just let you… um lets see… GET OUT OF MY BED!?
SNOW WHITE: Okay okay, fine sheesh!
GIANT # 3: Nng! *Stick out tongue*
SNOW WHITE: Whatever! Anyways who are you guys anyways?
GIANT #1: I'm Bobzilla! Of course, the leader of this group!
GIANT #3: Boberoni's the name! I'm the toughest in the group!
GIANT #2: Boberella! I'm the only girl but as well as the only responsible among my group.
SNOW WHITE: Okay then… I know this is sudden but, PLEASE LET ME STAY! I'll even cook!
ALL THE GIANTS: *Looks at each other* Meh…
SNOW WHITE: How about I do the cleaning as well?
ALL THE GIANTS: Meh…
SNOW WHITE: Oh come on! Fine then I'll do the errands as well.
ALL THE GIANTS: *Shakes heads and crosses arms*
NARRATOR: One unpleasant hour later…
SNOW WHITE: OKAY~ Fine. Final offer, slavery.
ALL THE GIANTS: *… Thinking position* Why not!?
SNOW WHITE: Phew! Okay Slavery it is… *Mutters to self* At least I have some place to stay safe and sound…
NARRATOR: The next day…
SCENE FIVE
SNOW WHITE: Have a nice day at work guys!
GIANT #1: See ya!
GIANT #2: Thanks!
GIANT #3: Tally-ho mofo!
ALL THE GIANTS: *Sings a cheery tune the same tune from before*
SNOW WHITE: Thank goodness they are gone now! I can finally have some peace and quiet.
NARRATOR: That's what Snow White thought but the queen was making her way to the mansion.
EVIL QUEEN: *Old ladies voice* Hello little girl.
SNOW WHITE: *Sigh* So much for peace and quiet. What do you want grandma? -_-
EVIL QUEEN: Would you like a pear deary?
SNOW WHITE: Uh… no thanks. I'm terribly allergic to pear's… I will eat one if it can grant me some peace and quiet for about um… um… forever I guess.
EVIL QUEEN: Noooo~ It's just a regular pear but an extra delicious one.
SNOW WHITE: No… Hey, what about that red one? Is that an apple?
EVIL QUEEN: Well it's a mix between an apple and a-
SNOW WHITE: Close enough! *Takes papple and bites into it*
EVIL QUEEN: Pear…
SNOW WHITE: *Chokes, Coughs vigorously* I'm… GAH! *Falls down*
EVIL QUEEN: Well…That was easier than expected… What now?
NARRATOR: At that moment
ALL THE GIANTS: We're home! Willy Wonka gave us a day off!
EVIL QUEEN: *Stares at giants*
. . . AWkARD SILENCE . . .
GIANT #3: Um… You know… I'm just going to go and… get some help!
A FEW MOMENTS LATER…
? (PRINCE): *HULK SMASH!*
GIANT #1, 2: The Prince?!
PRINCE: Boberoni, or whatever his name is, told me you needed help so here it is! *draws 'sword' (actually a stick)* HAHAHA! *Pokes Evil Queen with 'sword'*
EVIL QUEEN: Uh…
GIANT #1, 2: …
PRINCE: Wait for it… wait for it…
EVIL QUEEN: Um…
GIANT #1, 2: …huh?…
PRINCE: Right… about… now!
EVIL QUEEN: Ack! I'm melting! But how! *Slowly sinks down (covered with black things)
PRINCE: Ha! Ha! I am victorious!
GIANT #1, 2: Hooray for the PRINCE!
PRINCE: *looks down* Hey you… *Kicks Snow White* You okay? Or should I say alive?
SNOW WHITE: *No response*
GIANT #1: Is she dead?
GIANT #2: Well if she is, kissing always helps in fairytales!
PRINCE: Eww…*Giant #1, 2 glare at Prince* Seriously? I have to kiss that THING?
GIANT #1: Go on. Kiss her. Give it a try.
PRINCE: Fine… Here it goes… if anything bad happens, its all your fault! *leans down only centimetres away from snow white's face*
GIANT #1, 2: *Glares with interest*
SNOW WHITE: *Awakens* WHAT ON EARTH ARE YOU DOING?!
PRINCE: GAK! *Quickly points at Giant #2* IT's NOT MY FAULT AND CERTAINLY NOT MY IDEA! PLEASE DON'T HURT ME!
GIANT #1, 2: But… how…. You're alive?!
SNOW WHITE: Apparently, geez guys, I was probably in a coma or something. I usually get it if I eat pears.
GIANT #1, 2 & PRINCE: WELL THANKS FOR TELLING US THAT NOW!
SNOW WHITE: You're welcome.
NARRATOR: Well that isn't much of a happy ending, but still the three giants and the prince remained as friends. THE END.
THE END
JC: hahaha, it's been such a long time ive forgotten how random this play was. If you guys wanted to kno what i played in the parody, i was GIANT #3 and the PRINCE. my friends wanted me to play snow white but then another person wanted to be snow white...*shudders* i also remember how close i was to kissing her...oh well! hope you enjoyed this and be sure to expect more crazy random things from our regular stories.
so until next time
MangaluverJC out~