Disclaimer: I will sadly never own The Hunger Games or Finnick Odair because if I did he would of got his happy ending *sobs* :,(
Welp I just got Catching Fire on DVD the other day and after re watching it about a million time, all this angst came out because Finnick and Annie never got their happy ending :'( So I wrote this as ...like a sad closure story.
Its pretty sad...Im not gonna lie, I teared up like 4 times so have your tissues ready...
At 34 years old I would of expected to be married with children, living in a beachfront house. But my dreams were swept away by a tsunami, ripping them piece by piece until the mangled parts drowned.
I would of never expected to be thrown into the Hunger Games.
I would of never expected to watch my brother die.
I would of never expected to go crazy
I would of never expected to lose my true love, my sanity, my Finnick.
And I most definitely would of never expected to have my 12 year old son and my best friend watch over me as I die.
The doctor had no explanation for the pain. I couldnt work that way. When your motivation is taken away, you stop, sit, and wait to die.
A sudden force rips me away from my dark thoughts and I look down at the pale green photo album with two medium sized hands on the cover that is sitting in my lap. I look up to see a 12 year old boy with glowing green eyes and curly blonde hair.
My beautiful boy
My beautiful Finn.
I turn my head away, aggressively biting my lip to the point where it draws blood. He looks to much like that frail 17 year old girl who stared blankly at the sea as her family's caskets were lowered into the ground.
He looks to much like me.
And the worst part? He knows its over. He knows I'm leaving and never coming back to him.
That was the final blow.
I hear him open the book and pull out a picture, laughing gently. I look up to see him holding his baby picture with his name boldly written underneath.
Finnick Marge Odair
"Gosh mom why did you have to name me this?" He cooed in fake embarrassment and I couldn't help but laugh.
"Finnick was your father silly and Mags..." I paused, allowing the painful memories to seep back into my mind. Finn then grabs my hand gently and smiles, reminding me that for now, everything is okay. "Mags was like a mother to me."
I glide my hand into his thick golden curls and giggle. "You my boy are a living legend."
He smiles and places the photo back in the book. He closes the binding and disregards it, probably not wanting to cause me anymore pain
Just like his father.
Suddenly I wince, closing my eyes in pain and I scream. Thousands of knives are stabbing at my chest.
I can't breathe
I can't see
"MOM!" someone screams and just for a moment, the pain subsides. Noticing that the weight on top of me has lifted, I sit up, gazing into Finn's worried eyes. I smile and grasp his hand, giving him false hope which he desperately needs.
"Mom?"
"Yes Finn"
"Are you going to be okay after y-you know...you leave?"
A laugh passed my lips followed by a horrific frown.
Was I?
I didn't even know but I couldn't tell him that, so I lie.
"Of course I am Finn."
He doesn't seem to believe because tears start to form in his eyes. I weakly moved my hand to wipe his tears, hoping that I would wipe away his doubts as well.
"Will I ever see you again?"
Another question with no answer. I close my eyes as another wave of pain starts up and crashes down.
"I hope so baby. You just gotta believe."
He smiles and buries his head into my chest, his shaking arms wrapping around my back. He murmurs something against my shoulder and when he realizes that I didn't understand him, he sits back up.
"You can go now mommy. I'll be okay. Johanna will take care of me."
I tried to smile at his sweetness but I couldn't.
He rather endure his own pain than to see me suffer through my own.
Just like his father
Another wave of pain crashes inside of me, forcing a gush of tears to escape from my eyes.
First a few fell
Then I'm sobbing
And now I'm breaking down
Reality is finally settling in. I grip both of Finn's hands and pull him towards me, running my fingers through his curls.
"Oh my dear Finnick" I say over and over again, believing that some how it would help. Suddenly he stood up, breaking through our embrace and smiling through tears of his own.
His bravery kills me
"Oh Finnick I don't want to leave you!" I scream. "I want to take care of you."
He smiles as another gush of tears pass through. His palms grab each side of my face, forcing me to look at him.
"Y-ou have t-to." he begins shakily. "You have to because if you leave, you'll have so much more. You'll have your family, you'll have Mags, and most off all you'll have dad. Even if you leave, you'll still be able to take care of me!"
I mutter how proud Finnick and I are of him and for a moment, a stop crying and smile. My 12 year old boy gave me something the one thing that I have been desperately searching for my whole life. Hope.
I smile and kiss his forehead and for a moment I forget that I am dying.
Soon enough, another wave crashes. My hands leave my son as well as my gaze. I scream in fury and grab the bedsheets in agony.
Then door opens
Then the pain stops
Then I continue crying
Johanna steps forward and smiles bravely, sitting in the chair lazily placed by my bedside.
"Mom?" Finn's words avert me from Johanna and I turn towards him. He dives back into me again, hugging me tightly and kissing my forehead.
"I love you so much Finn" I said kissing his forehead in the same manner that he did for me. "I love you to mommy" He says finally pulling away with tears forming in his orbs. He then gives my hand one last squeeze and whispers, "I'll see you again someday", walking out of the room sobbing the word goodbye.
The way he ducked out
The way he left pain behind and moved on.
I cried even harder now because now I fully realized that he is exactly like his father.
I look back up to Johanna and grab her hand tightly as if it was my lifeline.
Another wave crashes and this time it causes me to let everything so.
"I-I don't want to go!"
Johanna's face pales and for once in her life she showed pure sorrow. Tears spew from from her eyes and she raises her free hand to put a few sweaty strands of hair behind my ear. She then leans down and kissed my forehead just like Finn, her warm tears flowing on my cheeks like a reminder that it will all be over soon.
She raises her head up and attempts to look at me but with Johanna, her eyes show different emotions that Finn's did. She doesn't have his pure love and innocence. All she has is pain and the cruel truth. I turn my head, not wanting to absorb it and I expected her to honor my wishes because after all I am dying, but it wasn't the case.
It is never Johanna's case.
She forces my jaw to look at her stern expression and angry eyes.
Her eyes scared me
Johanna's only friend was dying after all.
"I'll take care of him. You know I will take care of him."
I should've been grateful but I wanted to be the one to take care of my baby.
I want to be the one to hold him when he cries
I want to be the one that tells him stories of his father
I want to help him in times of crisis
I want to be his mother
I didn't want him to face the same fate I had to.
Loss
Pain
Abandonment
But then again, that could never happen.
"I don't want to leave him!" I said again, wincing as another wave crashed inside.
"Annie!" Johanna said, wiping my tears. "You have lived the shittiest life their is to live. You lost your sanity, your family, and your Finnick. You will never have hope in this world Annie. Just think about how you're going to reunite with your need to stop being selfish by letting me and your son suffer. You need to leave!"
I should've been angry. I should've cried. I should've slapped her, but I didn't. No matter how much I didn't want to admit it, Johanna was right and that made me laugh. I might hate it, but Johanna's bitter honesty serves as a comic relief.
"But what about-" A wave of pain stops my words in their tracks and my hope begins to vanish like salt in water.
"We'll take care of him. Me, Peeta, and Kat-, well mostly me because they can't even handle their own children."
I laugh as a familiar darkness starts to creep into my vision. Johanna must of noticed this because she grabs my hands and choked out a sob.
"D-Do you wa-want me to get Finn?"
Finn. His name sends another wave of pain to consume me, but its not the type that is killing me. Its a wave of regrets. I cry aloud and shake my head no vigorously.
"I-I already said goodbye"
"You sure?"
I don't answer her question because I don't think she actually wanted one. Instead I grip her hand tighter.
"Johanna can you promise me something?"
"Anything."
Before I have the chance to answer her a sharp pain erupts in my chest, stronger than ever. I gasp and scream, choking on the air, the only thing that is keeping me alive.
"Pr-Promise me that you'll raise him here. Teach him how to use a trident. Tell him his father...tell him our story."
"Of course. Annie... he will be alright."
I shake my head at her words, but deep down inside I believe her.
"Its- Annie it's okay...yo-you can go now my beautiful Annie."
I reopen my eyes and with a free hand I graze the skin on her wrist. "Johanna?"
"Yes Annie."
"In my closet there is a box full of poetry... can you give it to Finn?"
"Of course...Annie no matter what Finnick would be so proud of you."
I didn't answer her. I didn't see a reason to.
Just as I was about to close my eyes for one final time, I saw Johanna's lips begin to make out a broken sentence.
"Hey Annie?"
"Yes Johanna"
"Tell Finnick I said that he better take care of you or else the next time I see him he'll have my axe in his chest."
I smile and close my eyes, taking one last breath that is filled with laughter. As my vision became totally consumed with darkness I could here Johanna's voice faintly say, "Everything is going to be okay." She sobs, then continues. "We lo- we love you."
Piece by Piece
Shade by Shade
Everything begins to get darker. I feel as if I am falling in a dark abyss. I feel like I am
D
R
O
W
N
I
N
G
Suddenly I feel a gentle breeze whip across my face, and for a moment I believed that I wasn't dead yet.
Johanna is just sitting above me touching my cheek and wiping my tears.
For a moment I believed that it was just a bad dream, that I was never really dying.
Then the fire starts. A burning sensation erupts inside of my chest, as if someone force fed me a packet of lit matches. The wind blows against me even harder and I then did the only thing I felt I could do,
I screamed.
The scream released air into my lungs and I immediately stopped. No more pain. It was as if my life was given back to me. I flung my eyes open to be greeted by dim sunlight and a huge change in myself. I sat up frantically and looked myself up and down.
I wasn't in that hideous blue sweater. I was in a green dress. My wedding dress.
I wasn't in my bed. I was standing on the beach gazing at a sunset sinking into the endless ocean.
It was as if I was transformed back into my 22 year old self.
It was as if I was given a second chance.
My feet began to move before my brain told them to. I came up to a huge sand hill that was not even 50 feet away from the water. I stop and stare hard and the coastline, believing that something was waiting for me there.
The longer I stand, the easier a grey and yellow blob sitting in the water becomes easier to decipher. Inside the water sat the slim backside of a golden God.
Not just any Golden God, my Golden God.
"Finnick!" I scream at the top of my lungs, running through the thick sea spray and wind towards him.
Just as I said his name his frame jumped out of the water and called mine as his gaze came to linger on mine.
Soon enough our bodies collide and he picks me up and twirls be around as our tears fall on each other's necks and our hands pull at each other's hair. It might sound selfish, but in his arms I finally realize that I am finally rid of all the sorrow, all the pain, and all the madness.
Finnick slowly pushes my chin to face his face. His beautiful face. He smiles and the butterflies erupt in my stomach. I gaze into is captivating green eyes.
Chills. Electric chills to be more exact. Oh how I missed them.
His eyes though cause a rift inside me.
His eyes
Finn's eyes
His eyes
I choke out a sob and shove my head into his neck crying again.
"Annie" he says shaking me. I look up at his eyes searching for an answer. "You did fine. Finn is going to be fine."
Even though I'm reluctant, his words do something to me and I'm totally convinced. In a matter of no time I'm back to giggling like a school girl.
He lets me out of his grasp and steps closer to me, our face within inches. I can see the tears in his eyes while he speaks. "Look Annie" he says pointing out to the ocean. "You finally brought me my sunset."
I smile and turn him back towards me, sliding my hand into his hair and shoving his head down so our lips can touch. He crashes into me, kissing with such hunger and desperation.
Soon enough I'm gasping for air and I pull away, settling my head on top of his chest.
"Now what?" I say as he runs his hand through my hair.
We turn to the beach and he smiles. "Anything you want Annie"
We'll March Into The Sun
Sorry if the lay out was confusing... I had trouble transferring this and with font. :)
Thanks for reading. Please Review... I would love y'all's opinion :)