The Woman Upstairs

Frozen may be one of my top three Disney movies of all time, but the Lego Movie is currently in fierce competition with it for the spot as my second favorite animated movie! (My favorite animated movie will always be Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs and my favorite movie of all time will always be Pan's Labyrinth.) Anyway! I love, love, love The Lego Movie with a passion, especially the awesome Lord Business. So I got to thinking: if there's a Man Upstairs, and he has a son…shouldn't there be a Woman Upstairs…? We heard her voice briefly…ah, questions! I'm here to give you the answers!

Lord Business surveyed his Think Tank with his beady black eyes (which were identical to the eyes of almost every other Lego person in existence). But no matter how hard he looked, he couldn't find the answers he wanted and needed. He left the Tank and headed for his office, but not before he cast the prisoners of the room a triumphant smirk. How he enjoyed the torment of the Master Builders. He loved it so much that he included it in his own set of Customized, One-of-a-Kind, Lord Business' Eyes Only Instructions:

Step One: Get Dressed

Lord Business wasn't an idiot, even though he had to control hundreds, perhaps thousands, of mindless and naïve Lego people. They had to have everything spelled out for them. THEY had to be reminded to the fact that they had to breathe! THEY were always ruining his perfect little world! THEY—

Anyway, getting dressed was simple. Business always wore a gray suit and a red tie, even with his battle armor. He adored his battle armor, especially the tie-shaped cape that came with it.

"Blah blah blah, why am I reading what I already know?" He chucked his set of Instructions across the room, where it landed on the red carpet with an unsatisfying "clunk". He sighed and massaged his yellow, wrinkled face with his claw-like hands. He needed to look somewhere else to find what he was missing. If he had what he wanted, he wouldn't be searching his office, the place where he kept pretty much EVERYTHING HE COULD EVER WANT AND NEED on display! He mentally smacked himself and decided to do some research of his own. He headed for the big research room slash computer lab where all of the most scientific-looking work was done. Once in front of a vacant computer station, he began his project.

"Computer, access the daily Instructions of a citizen in Bricksville," Business ordered.

"Specify citizen type," the Computer's Personality replied in that smooth, perfect voice. Business pursed his lips as he thought of the types of Lego people. Movie stars, business men, coffee shop workers…no, no, that wasn't what he needed. He needed something that was far from what he was. He needed someone with flaws!

"Writer," he found himself saying. "Are there any writers in Bricksville?"

"Of course, sir," the Computer answered, revealing a list of names and their Instructions. Business poured over the names. Most of these men and women were journalists. Only three wrote original literature, and only two of the three of them seemed successful at their jobs. The third person hadn't written any stories in three years. Business opened her Instructions and read them to himself. Only one part about it stood out to him.

Step Nine: Eat a balanced breakfast with the special people in your life.

Business considered the special people in his own life. He had his robot minions, Bad Cop and Good Cop…

Was that it? None of them had ever shared a breakfast with him. The robots never ate. Bad Cop/Good Cop would eat with his family whenever he could. Business always ate alone and in his office. That was the way he preferred it, the way he felt that it was supposed to be.

But if this was true…why did he have Step Nine in everyone else's Instructions? Before he could elaborate on this, he glanced at his watch and gasped. He was needed on TV to announce the upcoming Takos Tuesday!

"Hi, I'm President Business, president of the Octan Corporation and the world." Business preferred the title of "lord" to "president", but the civilians seemed more comfortable with their delusions of democracy. "Let's take extra care to follow the Instructions," Business grinned. "Or you'll be put to sleep," he whispered. "And let's not forget about Taco Tuesday, the day where every rule-following citizen gets a free taco and my love! Have a great day everybody!" His smile remained eighty percent toothy and twenty percent reassuring until he was sure that he wasn't on the air anymore. He relaxed his face and proceeded with the next appointments in his schedule…including a few executions.

He tried to make sure that the rule-breakers had painless deaths, but they would ALWAYS try to resist. That's why they had to be placed in chains in the medical labs. Usually Bad Cop conducted the executions on his own, but today Business went and supervised him. As usual, he found the cop beating up a defenseless stool and enjoying his job way too much. "You know what to do after this?" Business inquired, his voice polite and quiet. They couldn't afford to be overheard…not when he was this close to succeeding.

"My men are already on it." Bad Cop was always curt, but he was honest and efficient. Business had no reason to doubt him. Both men couldn't see what could go wrong.

"What are you doing?" Mary Sue jumped out of her spinny chair at the interruption. She turned her head and glared at the source: the raven-haired Wyldstyle.

"I'm working on our story," Mary snapped, turning her attention back to the laptop. "In case, you know…we fail. Or we don't win at first. Because maybe someone can use our stories and try to complete the quest for us…or someone else can be the Special."

"Or they could use that information against us!" Wyldstyle snapped. "If Lord Business found it, do you know what could happen to all of us?"

"He won't find it. He hasn't found out about us, right?" Mary smirked. The two girls, along with the remaining Master Builders, had been hiding for nearly eight and a half years. They had their close calls, but they never once came close to the Think Tank or any of the horrors that Business had planned for them. Mary sighed and adjusted her wavy brown hair. "Have you had any luck?"

Wyldstyle's face broke out into a triumphant grin. "Lots of luck, thanks to Batman," she announced, producing a small, remote-like piece of technology from her pocket. "None of the pieces I had before would fit, but the Bat Technology seems to be what I needed!"

Mary raised an eyebrow, knowing that Wyldstyle was running out of great things to say about Batman. (Although she wouldn't deny that the Caped Crusader was awesome in his own way.) "So…you mean that…?"

Wyldstyle nodded. "Let's go get that relic!"

Mary joined her best friend in grinning. "Now you're talking!" She closed her laptop and tucked it into her backpack. She swung it over her shoulder and dashed out of the hideout, following her friend. They were both unaware of how their fantasies would unfold.

This story, like all of the others I have written, is dedicated to the late Jenna Nicole Keith, also known as x-The Devil's Advocate-x and Psychedelic Hurricane.

Review, please! :)