Twenty Women, One Shower, No Privacy
By: Rogue-Slayer13
Disclaimer: The characters all belong to Joss Whedon. As a response to Kantayras challenge #4- 20 Women, One bathroom, you do the math.
Summary: I wrote a story involving Kantayras suggested pairings.
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"A crisis has come to our attention. One that needs to be addressed with the utmost care and attention." Andrew looked at the group gathered in the livingroom. "The number of guests in the house has continued to rise, while the number of bathrooms has remained the same at one, and one only . . . well two actually, but that's not important, because one's a half bath and . . ."
"Is there going to be a point anytime soon?" asked Dawn.
"You do this to me all the time!" whined Andrew as he stomped his feet like a small child. "I never get to finish my demonstrations!"
"Andrew, what was your solution?" asked Giles calmly.
"I've come up with a schedule for everyone to follow," Andrew pulled a piece of poster board from behind the sofa and leaned against the TV for everyone to see. "All you have to do is find your name and the corresponding time, and that is your own private bathroom time."
"Is that all we get?" asked a potential. "Thirty minutes a day?"
"Of course not, this is just your time to shower, and besides, it's not just a half hour, there's time in the evening as well. If you need to brush your teeth a lot or anything use the kitchen sink. Buffy and other people involved with training get to go first, followed by the potentials, and then everyone else."
"I have a feeling this will work for the first five minutes," muttered Xander.
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"Andrew, do you want to go with me and Willow to get groceries?" asked Dawn as Andrew wiggled around in the kitchen.
"Sure," replied Andrew.
"Why are you wiggling?" asked Willow.
"I have to pee."
"Then go pee," said Dawn.
"But, it's still time for the potentials."
"The last of the potentials went out to trains a few minutes ago, you've got some free time," said Willow.
"All right," Andrew hurried off to the bathroom.
A few seconds later a chorus of loud shrieking screams filled the house causing everyone to come up from the basement where they were training.
"What's wrong?" asked Buffy.
"I don't know," replied Willow as they group headed toward the screaming.
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"Aaaaaaah!" "Aaaaaaah!"
"What are you doing in here?" demanded Xander as quickly pulled the shower curtain around himself.
"I have to pee," replied Andrew. "What are you doing here? This isn't your time."
"I, unlike some people, have to go to work."
"What is going on in here?" asked Willow as she and the others stopped outside the open bathroom.
"I was just minding my own business, when this, this weirdo, just burst into the bath room," said Xander.
Buffy had to stop herself from laughing at the sight of Xander hiding behind the shower curtain and Andrew standing with his legs squeezed together, both looking very flustered.
"Which one of you was screaming?" asked Spike.
Both men raised their hands, which caused Spike and several others to laugh.
"It's not funny!" protested Xander. "I was practically violated while coming out of the shower."
"Which makes it all the more hilarious," said Dawn.
"Do you mind? I still have to get to work."
The group laughed a for a couple of more seconds until Buffy and Spike ushered them away.
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"I'm going to take a shower, I'll be back in a little while to help you make dinner," said Andrew as he headed out of the kitchen.
"All right," said Willow. "Be careful."
Andrew stopped and looked at Willow.
"Why do I need to be careful?"
"The potentials have been trying to catch something male and naked ever since the got here."
"I'm sure I'll be fine."
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Andrew had just pulled open the shower curtain, and was reaching for a towel, when the bathroom door was flung open by a potential. Andrew emitted a high squeak as he snatched the towel off the back of the toilet and yanked the shower curtain shut, which only caused it to be open on the opposite side now.
"Damn it! I thought you were Spike," said the potential as Andrew wrestled with the shower curtain while trying to wrap the towel around his waist.
"I checked the schedule and this is clearly my thirty minutes!" said Andrew in an unusually high voice.
"And I told you it was an accident," said the potential. "I thought you were Spike."
"So you admit to purposefully going against the schedule, so you can prey upon innocent men in the shower!?"
"Trust me, the one I wanted is not innocent," replied the potential as she left the bathroom, closing the door behind her.
"Why have a schedule if everyone's incapable of reading it!?" exclaimed Andrew as he stepped out of the shower.
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"Be careful with those," said Buffy as she watched the potentials train with the weapons.
"I sense a missing toe or finger coming up soon," said Faith as she watched a couple of the potentials sword fight.
"I bet Red's girl, Kennedy's the one to do it," said Spike. "She's not a real team player. Always thinking she's better or someone's after her girl."
Sure enough, ten minutes later, Kennedy got into a fight with another potential sliced the girl's arm open.
"I'll get the first aid kit," said Spike.
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Spike knocked on the bathroom door and upon hearing no reply walked in to get the first aid kit.
"Aaaaaaah!"
"Oh! I thought you were Andrew," said Spike.
"What are you doing in here!?" shrieked the potential from behind the shower curtain.
"I just came to get the first aid kit, besides, I can't see through the curtain, I'm not bloody Superman."
"Don't you know how to knock!? How do I know you didn't sneak in here to be all lecherous and evil? "
"I did," replied Spike who was starting to find the whole thing just a tad bit amusing. "I guess you didn't hear me. And I'm not going to be lecherous and evil." Spike opened the medicine cabinet.
"You're not?" the potential stuck her head around the curtain. "Because this would be the perfect opportunity."
"Why's that?" asked Spike as he got the first aid kit and closed the cabinet.
"Because I'm naked and defenseless," said the potential who was liking the idea way to much.
"You're a bit young and oversexed for my liking, Pet," said Spike with a smile as he left the bathroom.
"He called me Pet," sighed the potential happily as she leaned against the shower wall.
"He calls everyone Pet."
"What are you doing in here?" asked the potential upon seeing Vi enter the bathroom.
"I have to pee and you're taking way to long in here," replied Vi.
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"Ow! Ow! Ow!" cried the potential as Dawn and Anya tried to untangle her hair.
"How did you even do this?" asked Anya as she looked at the potential's horribly knotted hair.
"I fell asleep with the braids in that Rona did, and then Megan tried to help get them out."
"Well never let Megan near your hair again," said Dawn.
"I've got some de-tangler in the bathroom," said Anya as she got up and headed for the bathroom.
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"Are you gonna stare at me all day, Luv?" asked Spike as he stepped out of the shower to find Anya standing there wide-eyed.
"I never got a good look at you before," replied Anya.
"Like what you see?" Spike wrapped a towel around his waist.
"Yes, and I wish you wouldn't feel the need to cover that magnificent body of yours."
Spike grinned.
"You certainly have a way with words."
"Too bad you have a soul now," said Anya.
"Why's that?"
"Because I could have you upside down and half way to happy land by now, but you're not bad anymore, so we can't."
"Two people like us shouldn't be left alone in a bathroom."
"Why's that?"
"Because you're blunt and oversexed and I might just take you up on the offer," said Spike as he walked passed Anya and across the hall to change.
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"Oh my Goddess!" exclaimed Willow as she covered her eyes with her hand. "I am so sorry, Anya."
"What's wrong?" asked Anya.
"I walked in on you. In the shower."
"Yes, you did actually."
"You're all wet and naked! As in, you have no clothes on, type of naked!"
"Is there any other type of naked?" asked Anya as she looked at Willow, who still had her eyes covered.
"Well no, but, you're naked!"
"Yes I'm naked and glistening with water. We've already established that." Anya grabbed the robe off the towel rack and put it on. "You can look now."
"No, I can't!"
"Yes, you can," Anya pulled Willow's hands away. "I'm not naked."
"Oh."
"I don't see why it's such a big deal anyway," said Anya. "The human body is the naturalist form of art there is. Besides, you're a lesbian, naked women shouldn't bother you so much."
"But, it was you. Anya. You were naked. It was a horrible accident. I just wanted my toothpaste."
Anya got a hurt look on her face.
"I can't even get a lesbian to find me attractive naked and wet from the shower!" exclaimed Anya as she stormed out of the bathroom.
"I didn't mean it like that!" called Willow.
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Andrew was helping Giles read through some demon text when he spilled his grape soda on one of the scrolls.
"I am so sorry!" said Andrew as he stared at the scroll in horror.
"It's quite all right Andrew, after seven years of Xander, I've copied and water proofed everything," said Giles. "I'll just go and get a towel to wipe up the mess."
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"Aaaaagh!"
"Oh dear God," Giles as he covered his eyes and turned around. "Spill . . . towel . . . didn't hear anything . . . dear lord. I thought you went out with Faith. Why wasn't the door locked?"
"I decided to stick around and I really didn't think anyone would come in," said Dawn as she wrapped a towel around herself and then put a robe on for good measure. "I mean, I made it an entire shower without being walked in on."
"I'm terribly sorry," apologized Giles. "I just came for a towel. I had no idea you were in here. I saw nothing."
"It's okay Giles, accidents happen," said Dawn as she got out a towel for him. "Here, you can turn around now."
Giles turned around long enough to get the towel the hurried out of the bathroom.
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The End
Love it? Hate it? Tell me what you think!
I might make one involving the LA gang, I'm not sure or a cross over one.