Hey everyone!
Well, I can't believe it. sometime in my hectic schuduale, I found time to write again! Yay! This is a songfic to "Where We Both Say Good-bye" by Cathrine Britt and Elton John. I hope you enjoy it and as always please review! It really does make my day!
This story is dedicated to my two friends on To my friend Sunrise19, you have helped me in more ways than one, which I am always grateful for your insight and friendship and to my new friend tinksbelle85! It's bee grat talking with you and I hope you enjoy the story!
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The fire that's left unattended
Surely will burn out and die
Night. So silent, so peaceful. So& lonely. I sighed as I leaned further against the balcony outside of my room. The cool marble rubbed roughly against my soft skin as I shifted my weight to a more comfortable position. What had my life come to? It had been so much like the night for the past three years. I had experienced so much silence from my own heart, so much loniless after my first love had left me. I kew it was not his fault. His very life depended on wether he stayed or went. I have no doubt he would have stayed. However, that would have surly mean this death.
I was adament he leave. Even though it felt as though my heart were being ripped form my chest, I knew that if I ever wished with by my side again, I would be forced to make this sacrifice. I won't say it was easy. Heavens, it was perhaps the most difficult thing I had ever had to do within my adult life. I remember the day he left. He had asked me to come with him to England. How my heart was torn. I looked to my father for guidance as I always had. I only wanted him to make this easier for me, tell what to do as he had always done. I am almost hesitant to admit that I almost wished he would strictly forbid me, then I would not feel as though I was betraying either party involved.
But he hadn't. The one time I wished he would still see me as a young child, he had not. Instead his eyes had softened and he had smiled. "You must choose your own path." Those were his words to me. Words that had made by decesion all the more difficult. I continued to stare at our two worlds, while no longer hostile, were still separted. That moment my decesion was made. As much as my heart yearned for John s love, I knew my duty was here. I was needed to help unite our peoples once and for all. With a heavy heart, I had turned back to where my love watched me with an expectant gaze.
How it killed me to see the look of hurt and surprise flash through his sapphire eyes as I informed him of my decesion. It was quickly replaced with understanding as he nodded. "Then I will stay with you." I had quickly silenced him, protesting that he would die. I promised him I would always be with him, always love him. He had used his last bit of strength to reach up and claim my lips for a final kiss, a kiss of love, a kiss of promise.
If only promises were so easy to keep. After three longs years of separation , we were finally reunited. How good it was to see him again. When he had taken down his hood to reveal who he really was, I was lost for words. He still looked the same, had not changed a bit. In the first moment he took me into his arms, a wave of emotion came over me such as I had never known before. I was certain it as out love, returning so we could pick up right where we had left off after his injury. But something was missing.
I could not put my finger on it right away, but it felt as if though we were trying to hard. It felt as though some of the passion had been drained out of our relationship. When he kissed me for the first time after our reunion, I still felt attraction, maybe even afection. But there was no magic. The electricity was gone, the sparks were none. I sighed as I stood straight and went back insde, flopping down on my bed. Perhaps I was just having some doubts. I would see John the next day. We planned to meet for a day out together before the king's celebraion ball that weekend. We could talk then and surely rekindle the passion that we had lost. I shook my head and closed my eyes. Everything would work out just fine.
Now that we're down to nothing but ashes
Is this where we both say good-bye?
What was the world coming to? I lay sprawled out on my bed in my small English flat as I stared out at the night sky. So many stars. How beautiful they were. I sighed. Beautiful, yes, but they were nothing compared to my love. How many night had I dreamed about the day when I would see her once again, feel the silken skin of her hand in mine, taste her exotic lips in a kiss such as no other. So why had I not felt what I was so sure I would have?
I remember holding her in my arms that first night that we were reunited in the cabin. So many feelings and emotions, both old and new flooded my senses as she had clung to me if I was her final lifeline. I had only sighed and pulled her closer. How could I have ever lived without this remarkable woman in my arms. I thought everything was wonderful. So why had she pulled away from me after our first kiss. It was quite odd.
I thought by the way she had responded to me, that she was feeling the same thing I was. Exhiliration and excitement. Or was I being deceived. Now that I had thought about it, I don't remember it being that exciting. Yes, I still felt our mutual attraction and affection, but all of a sudden, our kiss seemed like a kiss between friends. Where was the passion, where was the simple beauty that seemed to blossem with just a simple smile that used to pass between us, how we seemed to know what one another was thinking at all times.
Perhaps it was just the time of separation. What was the saying? 'Absence makes the heart grow fonder' Appantly, that was not true for us. As much as I wanted to say that is exceptionally true in our case, which it was. I had missed her such a passion as one can not describe. And I am sure that she had missed me as well, yet something was missing in her eyes after we had spent some time together. It was almost as if the time had strained our relationship instaid of helping it. I shook my head. How I hoped that was not the case.
Is this where two hearts break down and cry?
Is this where we let go and give up the fight?
I shot up into a sitting position as a particularly disturbing thought coursed through my head. Were we growing apart? After all we had been through, were we really destined to end what we had strived to build through time and distance. Destiend to extinguish this passionate flame that we had so easily created those three long years ago. How I hoped it was not the case. I loved this woman! She was, what am I staying, still is the other half of my heart.
I sighed as I flopped back onto the soft mattress. Then why did it feel like such a task to try to feel what had come so naturally before? Was it that the years of separation had played a part in our seemingly lack of feelings for one another? Not lack of feelings, per say, only that it suddenly felt as though we were the best of friends, which we were. I simply missed that romantic land passionate love that had so strongly stucka chord in both of our hearts. I could only hope and pray to God above that it would be restored to us soon.
Have we reached the point where it's to late to try?
Is this where we both say good-bye?
The sound of a tea kettle's whistle greeted me as I came downstairs. Mrs. Jenkins had smiled when she saw me. "Would you care for some tea, dear?" I shook my head no and politely thanked her as I made my way to the study. I had missed my chance to speak to John. He had called on me yesterday with his regrets to say that he would be unabke to accompany me on the town today. Our conversation would habe to wait until the king's ball. And I was not looking forward to it one bit.
While on my own, that day I had done some serious thinking about where I stood woth John. Did I love him? Yes. Did I ever even really love him? My word, what was I saying. I can still remember the first time he kisse dme in the glade in that time of danger. I had never felt so alive in my life. It had started out gentle, his lips barely touching mine. Then before I knew it, I was lost in a storm. My mind swam as he deepened the kiss, slanting his lips against mine, caressing so tenderly. I never wanted it to end.
I sighed. But it had. It had ended and now I knew the truth. As much as I hated to admit it, our relationship was coming to an end, the flame was burning out, the passion, extinguished. I still loved him in a sense and always would cherish the time we had together, short as it might have been. Only one problem remained. How was I going to tell the man that I thought I was to spend my life with that our dream had died, along with our love?
It's so hard to go on pretending
Truth is we're living a lie
I watched with baited breath as I saw him approach. He looked so handsome in his tailored suit, his blonde hair neatly combed, eyes bright with something I did not understand. When he saw me, he broke away form his string of female admirers to race over and pick me up and twirl me around. "Pocahontas, can you believe it, my love? They have given me my own ship! Finally, my love we can travel the world, be together, make up for the time we lost." He pulled me to him in his familiar warm embrace.
I swallowed the hard lump that formed in my throat. How could I tell him? How could I do this to him when his dream had finally come true, when the only missing componet to make it complete was myself. He was still smiling as he searched my gaze. "Pocahontas? Are you alright, my dear? Are you going to say something or simply stare at me all this time." I gave hima nervous smile as I took a long breath and started to break the news. "John, we walked the same path once."
It kills me to know out love's dying
Is this where we both say good-bye?
"John, we walked the same path once" From there it had gone downhill. I had been so excited. The king had finally made my dream a reality. My own ship and crew to captain, freedom to go and do as I wished and now a chance to start a new with the woman I loved. As I had thought about our situation more and more, I had somehow convinced myself that we had needed was time. Time to get to know one another one more. Then, then we could pick up right where we had left off. Then my life would be complete.
But it as not meant to be. The very woman I had envisioned in my dreams now stood before me, telling me that we were no more. That somewhere, somehow, along the line we had fallon out of romantic and passionate love that we had once had. I started to protest, but she held up a hand. "Please John." she had said quietly. "Do not make this harder for me than it already is. I am so sorry that I hurt you. I never meant for it to end this way." I didn't say anything. I did not know what to say. Never in my life had I imagined this, I suppose that possibly it was never meant to be. I suppose that we were just trying to hard to make something work that never would.
Is this where two hearts break down and cry?
Is this where we let go and give up the fight
Have we reached the point where it's to late to try
Is this where we both say good-bye?
She watched me closely as she waited for my reaction. I simply stood there for a few moments. I didn't know what to say or do. I simply did the only thing I could think of. I leaned forward and took her hand in mine, lifting it to my lips and kissing it softly. "I do not blame you for any of this, Pocahontas." I whispered. "Perhaps we were just never meant to be. I will always treasure the time we shared and no matter what, I wll always, always love you as no other."
She chocked back a sob as she collapsed in my arms. I held her tightly to me, knowing full well that this would probably be the last time that I ever had this privialge again. "Don't cry." I soothered her, repeating those instructions to myself at the same time. "Do not cry for me, my dear. Nothing happens that does not mean anything. Perhaps we have shown each other a better way to love."
She pulled back and looked into my eyes, tears streaming down her face. "I will never forget you." she said. I nodded. "I know. Neither will I." I released her from my arms and smiled. She raised herself up to meet me and ever so gently pressed her ips to mine in a chase kiss of fare well. When she pulled away, I squeezed her hand watched her leave. My heart was heavy as I watched the only woman I had ever loved walk out of my life forever. I sighed as I turned away. Good-byes are never easy, yet they are a part of life. Perhaps the love had died for her, but in my heart, it still burned like a candle in the night. Pity that we never received the chance to strengthen it once more, for if one gives up the fight, a love that could be saved, can so easily be lost.
Have we reached the point where it's too late to try?
Is this where we both say good-bye?