Black-Edged Living
*h5o*
A week after Danny Williams had been killed saving a pair of eight year old boys, Rachel Edwards packed up her children and left Hawaii. Stan Edwards had opportunities everywhere and they had tried to leave once before but Danny had fought them and won in the custody battle. Logically the family had no reason to stay. Emotionally, Steve wondered when Stan would understand that the ghost of Rachel's ex-husband had chased them out. Rachel still loved Danny and hated his job more than ever.
As usual in the war between Rachel and Danny, Grace was caught in the crossfire. Reeling from the loss of her Danno, she was uprooted from everything familiar. Grace was given no time to prepare for the departure. Kono had bought her an old fashioned address book (that had a space reserved for e-mail addresses) and had filled in the pertinent information for 5-O, but Grace never had the chance to collect from her school friends. She had been pulled from class the hour of her father's death and never returned. Steve saw them off and watching the little girl twist one last time to wave goodbye broke something in him. It was as if he was back at Danno's grave, the sense of loss was so strong.
Life was quiet after the funeral, in so many ways. Cath filled in at 5-O while they tested several replacements, but no one truly fit. Danno was –had been-unique. Life simply continued. Kono's relationship with Adam exploded spectacularly. Danny's patented distraction techniques would have been helpful. Chin very tentatively started dating a prison nurse. Cath was given the choice between another tour of duty in the Middle East or retiring. She retired from active duty and joined 5-O, Steve had run through three prospective partners in the meantime.
It wasn't that Steve had forgotten Danno, but thought of him and the grief were no longer that the forefront of his brain. So when he saw the elementary school transcript on the office screen, he was thinking about the case. "What did you find, Chin?"
The older Hawaiian minimized the transcript and flipped through some on-going searches. "Nothing, yet."
Steve pointed to the now-empty screen, "And that was?"
Chin grimaced, "Grace is failing science."
"Gracie Williams?"
Chin nodded.
That was completely unacceptable. If Steve had been Danno, he would have been on the phone already, making his displeasure known. But Steve was not Danno and any words he used would be the wrong ones. Speaking to Grace –or worse Rachel- would only exasperate the problem, not improve it. Then Steve remembered the science kit his mother had bought for his tenth birthday. He had enjoyed it immensely. Educational toys were the fad; Steve should be able to find something similar.
"Send me Grace's address," he told Chin.
Chin nodded and almost smiled. He did reach for his wallet and handed Steve a wad of cash. "Get her something from me as well."
Steve agreed, "Let me know if any of your searches dig up a connection."
It took three toy stores to find the ideal science kit. Though several were close, apparently the one he owned as a child was now considered too dangerous. From Chin, Grace would receive the hottest new computer game, which required problem solving skills and science knowledge to advance through the levels.
Then Chin called about the current case and Steve was off chasing leads. Grace was once again regulated to a less prominent part of his thoughts. After the case, Chin reported that Grace had aced her last science test. Steve sent Grace a short note applauding her study efforts and his old science kit book that detailed all the fun things that would be accomplished with household cleaners. Steve also included his phone number just in case Grace had lost Kono's book in the move. He wrote that she should text him whenever she needed, school work or personal, he would respond.
Steve was disappointed when day after day, he didn't get a text from Grace. As pleased as he was that Chin was keeping quiet tabs on 'their Monkey,' he wished that Grace and Rachel would keep in touch.
He never expected the phone call from the unknown local number. "McGarrett," he answered the call.
"Commander McGarrett, this is Officer Otsuji at Honolulu International Airport. I have a Grace Williams here, insisting that she's waiting for you to pick her up."
"Gracie!" Steve echoed, completely stunned. "I'll be right there," he promised. He broke several traffic laws along the way, but felt no remorse when he set eyes on Grace; She was broken. She appeared even more shattered than on the day of her father's funeral. Then she had stumbled around in a shocked daze of loss. Now the shock had worn off, only to be replaced by the cold certainty that her precious Danno was never returning.
"Uncle Steve," she whispered.
Steve gathered her up like she was fine china. She clung to him. Never a large girl, she weighed nothing now. She hadn't been eating. Steve maneuvered around her to show the security personnel his 5-O ID. He walked Grace out of the airport with less trouble than he probably should have. Grace refused to be put down until they were at Danno's car. Steve had inherited it and used it during work hours. He hadn't thought about it when he had first received the phone call from airport security but Grace seemed to be pleased to be in it again.
Steve waited until Grace was seat belted in before asking, "Does your mother know where you are?"
The ice-cold fury that blazed out of Grace's eyes astonished Steve. Danno would have treated Steve to an hour long rant if he had been that incensed.
"I'll consider that a 'no,'" he murmured. He sent off a quick text to Chin explaining the situation and asking him to update Rachel as to her daughter's whereabouts. Steve didn't want some police department to waste time looking for a child that wasn't lost or worse, someone to think that he had kidnapped this little girl.
So Steve took her home. He didn't take her into the house but to the corner of the garage where Danno's belongings were stored. He hadn't gotten around to delivering the boxes to charity. If anyone asked, it was because no one in Hawaii had a burning need for dress shirts and ties. When Steve flipped open the biggest box, Grace whimpered like a kicked puppy. The sound broke his heart… and squashed any protest he might have made when Grace kicked off her flip-flops and climbed into the box to curl into a ball amidst all the neatly folded shirts. Steve was going to have to iron all of those.
He didn't have words that would help the situation but knew that Danno's daughter wouldn't be comforted by silence. Danno would have some sort of ridiculous, endless patter to distract from the pain. Steve couldn't do that.
So he thought back to the last pointless argument he had had with Danno. He had thousands of memories to choose from, so Steve started rambling about Hawaiian food and other things he remembered Danno complaining. Steve didn't think it was helping but when he stopped talking, Grace popped her head out of the box of clothes and looked at him with those soulful brown eyes. How had Danno denied her anything? So he would start speaking again, no coherent narrative but story after story of crazy things Danno had said. There was moisture on Steve's cheeks but he didn't remember crying.
Cath came home somewhere in the middle, completely unsurprised. Chin had updated her on the situation. She brought out juice for the two of them and then disappeared. Steve felt abandoned and Grace still hadn't talked.
Steve spoke until the sun had set. He paused once and when Grace didn't peek out, he peeked in. She was asleep with tear tracks down her face. Steve wiped her face and his own to hide any evidence. (Danno would have left it, but Steve was not Danno.) Steve lifted her out of the box and carried her inside. Cath must have been listening because she opened the door for him before he could call for help. Steve put Grace in Mary's bed and collapsed onto the couch.
"Feel better," Cath asked.
Steve was utterly confused. "My throat is sore," he complained. "How did Danny do it all the time?"
"Practice," Cath laughed at him. "I think you needed that as much as she did."
"I've lost friends before."
"I know, I was there to retrieve Jimmy's body, remember? But you and Danny were more like brothers."
Steve didn't argue. "What did Rachel say?"
"A lot. None of it good. She wants Grace back on a plane to Nevada hours ago."
Steve raised an eyebrow; obviously 5-O was running interference. "When is her ticket for?"
"Sunday."
Today was Thursday.
"Obviously, she's going to miss school tomorrow so no reason for her to hurry back," Cath explained.
"Rachel accepted that?!"
Cath tilted her head. "Chin might have threatened a social services visit to investigate why Grace would run away."
Steve winced at the idea of playing hardball with Rachel; Danny always lost those fights. "What is going on?"
"Grace isn't talking, to anyone, and hasn't been since the funeral. She ignores her therapist. Since you and Chin sent her presents, she'll do her schoolwork but she doesn't connect with her schoolmates or her teachers. She has also not said a single word to her mother since those gifts." Cath paused. "What did she say to you?"
Steve had to think through all of their interaction. "Uncle Steve… and that's it. She had to talk to the head of security at the airport to get to me but she made her will known wordlessly otherwise."
Cath scooted closer. "That is one troubled little girl."
"I don't know if I can fix this," Steve confessed.
Cath reared back. "Steve, you can't fix grief. You can only lessen and distract from the pain. Grace's father is dead and nothing you can do can bring him back to life."
Steve acknowledged the truth. Damn, he missed Danno.
*5-O*
When Steve wandered down to the kitchen the next morning, he was shocked to find Grace already there. She looked slightly better, but still, what thirteen year old didn't sleep to nine (or noon) if given the opportunity? Steve wondered if she was having nightmares or suffering from insomnia. He already knew her mourning was affecting her health.
"Oatmeal?" Steve offered, only halfway serious. It was his normal weekend breakfast.
"Uncle Steve," Grace chided. "Really?"
"Well, I supposed your visit is a special occasion, meriting pancakes," he teased.
He was rewarded by a true smile. "Thanks, Uncle Steve."
"Get the milk," he ordered. He pretended that he didn't know every word was a special gift. He would act like Grace belonged and was normal.
The two of them worked around each other remarkably easily and when Cath joined them, it smoothly opened up the silent camaraderie to three. "So we have to work," Steve told the teen, "but Komekona offered to hire you for the day to be his assistant. Are you interested?"
Grace smiled and nodded. "Sure."
"Provided we close the case," Cath added, "everyone will be here tomorrow for a cookout. So think about what you want to eat."
"The mango fish," Grace was quick to demand. Here, in Hawaii, she always had known what she wanted.
Breakfast was quieter than Steve thought possible with a Williams present. Komekona arrived in his shrimp truck and everyone left for a day of work. Steve sent repeated texts to Komekona asking for updates, but the big man never answered back with more than a 'no worries brah.' Steve had promised Grace a cookout and he wasn't going to let any mobster prevent that promise. Steve and the rest of 5-O worked hard and arrested the entire gunrunning ring at eight that night. Tying up loose ends and filing out paperwork took longer.
Grace had texted once querying whether or not she would be working dinner with Komekona. Steve told her yes and what did she want for breakfast tomorrow morning. He warned that he and Cath wouldn't be home until well after her bedtime.
Grace accepted it easily and asked for omelets. Steve had been the recipient of a William's omelet a long time ago, but he did remember all of the ingredients. He would have to stop on the way home at a grocery store, for the omelet and for the cookout.
Grace was asleep when they finally arrived home. She slept on the couch in the living room while Komekona watched college basketball on mute. Komekona slipped out as quietly the big man could. Grace woke as Steve and Cath put away groceries. She smiled at them and wished them goodnight.
She hugged Steve, like a hug he used to have received from her and not one that she had normally bestowed upon her father. Steve could sense the difference. Cath received a passing hug on Grace's ascent to Mary's old room.
Steve checked all the windows and doors as well as the security system.
"You realize that she had tried to stay up to check that we made it home safe and sound," Cath warned him as they readied for bed.
Steve stopped and reviewed his memories. He didn't think that Grace had ever done that for him before. She had probably done it a time or two for Danno. Steve could fix nothing today. He would try to mend the little girl's heart tomorrow.
*5-O*
A cellphone rang with the Imperial March during Steve's fantastic omelets. It brought back fond memories for Steve, even as he realized that Grace had programmed it for her mother.
It looked like Grace was going to ignore the call. "Gracie," Steve pleaded. "Just let her hear your voice. Whatever your mother's faults," and separating the child from her father's memory rated high among them, "she loves you dearly."
Grace sighed like the pre-teen she was, but she took the phone into the other room and answered the call. Steve tried to give her privacy. Grace didn't yell. She might not have spoken either. Steve hoped that she might have listened to Rachel.
Kono and Chin arrived early, with bags of presents and a determination to put aside their own emotional hurricanes for Danno's daughter. Grace eagerly hugged the cousins and left her phone in Mary's room. The cookout was quiet without Danno. 5-O laughed and joked and included Grace in every conversation, but it was restrained. Everyone walked on eggshells.
Grace stayed off the sand. She sat on the wooden lawn chair (did she know her father had favored that particular one?) and watched the waves. As much as Danno personally hated the sand getting everywhere, he would have hated his daughter abstaining more.
Steve glanced at Cath and she shook her head. Wait. Steve was only patient when he had a rifle in his hands. He preferred to bulldoze all else. He loved that little girl as if she was his own. For her, he would wait.
She fell asleep in Danno's chair. Steve carried her up to bed.
Grace would leave Hawaii again tomorrow morning.
*5-O*
"Why did you come?" Steve asked Grace as she packed all of her new goodies to return to Rachel. She had arrived with a single backpack. She was returning with luggage.
"Mom took my address book from Kono."
"She did what?" Steve keep his voice even. His anger would not help Grace.
"She said she didn't want me to get stuck thinking about Danno. She took it and erased your phone numbers from my phone. I couldn't contact you until you did first."
Steve roiled with anger. He breathed deep a couple of times to steady his voice. "We wanted to give you time."
Grace looked at him now. Silent tears rolled down her face. "I thought you might have wanted me gone. That you didn't care."
"We care," Steve declared. "We care, Monkey. I never wanted you to think that we didn't care."
Grace sniffled. "I know that now. I knew that when you sent the science stuff. That's why I came."
Steve hugged her. "You are always welcome here, Monkey." Since she wasn't fighting him using Danno's nickname, he would continue to do so. They had barely talked about Danno the whole weekend, but this was not about Danno. This was about Gracie.
"I know. I'm coming back." That sounded like a Danno promise, right there. Fierce and sure.
"I'll be looking forward to it." And he would. "But tell your mother beforehand, please. I think she's learned her lesson."
Grace smiled, a shadow of the imp from Before. "Maybe." At Steve's glare, she shrugged. "I'll consider it."
This time when Steve put Grace on the airplane, it felt less like another funeral and more like a long good-bye.
*5-O*