The Apology

Spoilers: 12.21 and 13.2.

Warning: Slight profanity.

Summary: A missing moment in Graduation Day. Follows up when Pratt and Ray are walking and Pratt sees Neela sleeping in one of the suture rooms and tells her to go home.

Disclaimer: I do not own ER or anything associated with it.

Author's Note: I updated this because it had some typos here and there and I just wanted to fix them up. 

Neela POV:

"Go home Neela. Get some rest," Greg said, and walked out of the suture room. After we had finished the surgery on Jerry I came down and was about to leave but realized I didn't want to go back to Abby's apartment. I didn't feel much like being alone right now, not after the horrible day I'd had. But I was tired so I decided to crash in one of the Suture Rooms. I rubbed my eyes tiredly and laid back down on the gurney. I knew I should probably just leave but I wasn't ready just yet. Maybe I would get up in a bit and see if they needed an extra set of hands. I heard the door open to the suture room again but I didn't bother to see who it was figuring that if they saw someone asleep then they would just leave. I heard the door room close again and assumed they left, but then someone spoke up.

"Neela." My eyes shot open at the voice. It was Ray, the last person I expected to talk to today. The last time we talked suddenly replayed in my head, "just stay the hell away from me." The way I treated him almost made me cringe and from the look on his face it looked like he hadn't forgotten that conversation either. He moved hesitantly towards me and I sat up on the gurney, I couldn't look up to look him in the face, but out of the corner of my eye I saw him come and sit down on the gurney facing me, probably after deducing that I wasn't going to take his head off his shoulders for it.

"Hi."

"Hi," I replied not knowing what else to say. I was feeling extremely guilty about what I said on the roof and wanted desperately to apologize, but didn't know how to begin. I knew he was just trying to be caring because that was just Ray. Whatever I said on that roof had been born of sadness, anger, and guilt. And all that had fizzed away and now I just felt bad about being rude to my friend.

"How are you?" he asked, snapping me out of my reverie. I finally chanced a glance up at his face. He looked apprehensive and concerned.

I gave him what I hoped was a bracing smile and, "I'm alright. Are you okay? I mean, you didn't get hurt in the shooting right?"

"No, no. I was in one of the Trauma Rooms when it happened."

I nodded my head, thankful that nothing had happened to him. I couldn't even begin to think how I would feel if something had happened to him and I never got the chance to tell him that I was sorry. With that in mind, I started.

"Um, listen Ray. I wanted talk to you about something. I feel really bad about what I said on the roof and I didn't mean it. I was angry and I wasn't thinking I just"

"Fucking hell Neela!" I looked up at Ray with wide eyes at his sudden burst of vulgarity. Ray seldom used that type of language with me. He was looking at me with a sheepish smile, almost like he was apologizing for the fact that the phrase had come so easily to him. After a beat, he continued.

"Neela, please don't apologize."

"Ray," I started out only to be interrupted yet again.

"Neela, there's no need for you to do this. I get it, okay. You didn't mean it,"

"Really?"

"Really."

"Okay."

"Okay." And cue the awkward moment. Me and Ray seemed to be having a lot those recently.

"Was the service for Michael alright?" he asked concernedly. I moved my head and avoided his gaze, but in typical Ray fashion he lowered his head further to keep my gaze.

I shrugged, and Ray knew that meant that I didn't want to talk about it.

"You know, if you had asked me I would have come."

"I know Ray, I know you would have," I smiled at him and leaned over and wrapped my arms around his neck. At first I think he was too shocked to do anything but then he snapped out of it and wrapped his arms around me and although he held me awkwardly, he still held me, which let me know that we were going to be okay. It would take us time to get back to how we used to be, but we were going to be okay.