So randomly I was imaging Kaiba wearing a Santa outfit and ringing a bell outside and that inspired this. This story is in a collection with It Is Tradition, and another which I have yet to post. I've included footnotes, which I hope help you enjoy the story. Thanks for reading. :)
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When pondering a reluctant friendship with Yugi Muto, Seto Kaiba usually imagined soul crushing arguments, daring feats of twin heroism, being smothered to almost death by verbal appreciation of camaraderie, and nail biting duels similar to a thousand before, except that he would have to pretend not to be a douche bag about it. But in the end, the future, whether bad or good, is never quite so interesting as we imagine.
This was an idea that floated on the tip of Kaiba's nose as Yugi slipped more and more items into the cart for the holiday dinner they were having, which Kaiba would of course pay for because what would be a stark portion of Yugi's rent would be snot money to Kaiba.[1]
Kaiba had agreed to cook a holiday meal with Yugi and Joey, and let Roland rest this year, and though he grumbled all through the store, the truth was he didn't care one way or the other. His either-or attitude had gotten him through the latter half of his teen years with far less visits from his former demons,[2] and now he and Yugi had a mellow friendship, which resulted in more of an acquaintanceship than anything else with Yugi's friends.
But why they were here at the super market and how they'd gotten to this point wasn't important. What Kaiba did deem important was that they were done, gloriously done, and Yugi loaded the groceries back into the cart while Kaiba threw some "change he would never use"[3] into the puppy jar[4] at the checkout.
As they left, they were stopped by the usual two types of people outside of a grocery: people trying to get money, and people trying to get signatures. They were always faced with these people, but somehow Kaiba was running low on patience.[5]
The man with the petition was slightly more aggressive with his attempt to get their attention than Yugi remembered them being allowed to be these days, and Kaiba shot back with something about wasting their time, and though the man tried not to get angry, Kaiba ended up starting a fight with him, as Kaibas are want to do.
In another situation, this might've blown by, but the man working the petition tonight obviously cared a lot about his cause and was quite offended at the notion that fighting for it was a waste of time. Of course, that wasn't what Kaiba had meant. Was it?
"How dare you suggest our cause is a waste of time!"
"That's not what he meant," Yugi interjected.
"Yes it was," Kaiba said, not helping himself.
"How would you feel," spat the petitioner, "if you couldn't be with who you loved?"
"Well love is a broad spectrum,[6] however, I do feel for people in a situation where they feel their lives or wellbeing is at stake over their private actions. But I don't feel for people who whine and moan about the government and waste time pushing events that are on an inevitable string of─"
"Wait, what are we talking about here?" asked Yugi. "Are we talking about gay rights?"
"Gay marriage," replied the petitioner, then turned to back to Kaiba, "And how dare you propose that we just sit around and do nothing, or that our rights don't matter."
"They don't matter! When you're more worried about the future and governmental tie-ins than what's really important in your own life, none of it matters!"
"Kaiba!" Yugi yelled, anger and hurt in his voice. Kaiba had no right to decide what should be important in other people's lives.[7]
"What?"
"We were having a good time… we were shopping, and having a good time… why do you have to get angry everywhere we go? How… how could you say that…?"
"Oh, now you're offended for him?" asked Kaiba.
"Of course I'm offended!"
"Why?"
"Why? Kaiba… Kaiba… I'm gay."[8]
"You… you are?"
"Yes."
"Yugi you've misinterpreted the conversation─"
"That's a load of─"
"No, you have… Yugi, I'm gay."
"You are?"
"I think it's somewhat obvious…"
"Well now that you mention it…"
"Hey," asked the lady on the opposite site of the door to the petitioner, who was collecting money for children somewhere in Africa. "Aren't you Seto Kaiba, CEO of KaibaCorp?"
"Uh… Well… Yes… Listen," Kaiba said turning back to the petitioner, "I'm sorry, I over-reacted─"
"It's okay, I get it now─"[9]
"No but I'm sorry, I just want people to appreciate what they have, Gods know I don't─"
"No, it's a frustrating situation for everyone."
"Listen," Kaiba said again, taking the petition from the man and signing it, then handing it to Yugi to sign, "This is in no way shame. I'm proud of who I am in every way, even the parts that are flawed…" Kaiba pulled out his wallet, giving an aside to Yugi that he, "Should've brought more money, we just always use my card so I didn't think…" and then handing the petitioner and the lady collecting for the children each 500 dollars.[10] "To your cause, and please, keep this to yourselves. Again, it isn't shame, I just like keeping my private life… private."
"Sure thing, Mr. Kaiba, but um, we don't take donations," said the petitioner.
"Then you can have it, take it."
"Well… I'm sure I could find a way for it to go toward the cause."
"Good luck to both of you, happy Festivus!"[11] Kaiba said as he took Yugi's hand to pull him to the car.
"How do two friends do things like go grocery shopping together and not know each other are gay?" asked the lady collecting for the children.
"Denial," replied the petitioner. "Denial."
In the car, Yugi and Kaiba laughed. It was an all encapsulating, relieving laugh, that ended in the soft breaths of unsure people.
"So you're gay…" said Kaiba, turning out of the parking lot.
"No more than you, I suppose."
"Never ceases to amaze me how much we actually have in common… sorry… you know, for aggravating that situation…"
"Yeah, your ability to get angry at the super market never ceases to amaze me."
"Do you we go to the super market together a lot?"
"Enough for me to have noticed a pattern… Anyway, I was surprised by that guy's insinuation." Yugi said of the petitioner's final word.[12]
"Yeah, maybe he meant something else…"
"Yeah…"
"But it felt like he was saying that we…"
"…Are in denial."
"Yeah, and with all his high and mighty gay rights crap, I'm surprised that he would think, just because two homosexuals know each other, they also want each other."
"Yeah, that's… kind of offensive."
"I'm going to let it roll off my back."
"Very good, Kaiba."
"Still, the nerve of some people."
"Strait people go through it too, when a male and a female are really close friends, people assume something is going on between them."
"Yeah… I've even had people insinuate something disgusting was going between Mokuba and I[13] because we're close, not to say that I think you are disgusting, just that Mokuba and I would─"
"Yeah, I know, but that one is just because people like to make junk up about you."
"Yeah… So um… I'll take you home, and then I'll take the stuff home and put everything in the fridge…"
"Some of it needs to be frozen, make sure you look and put the right things in the fridge and freezer─"
"Yes, I'm not an idiot."
"Coulda fooled me."
"Excuse me?"
"Oh, Kaiba, I'm just kidding."
It was silent in the car for a while as Kaiba drove Yugi home. As they rolled up to the game shop and it was still quiet, Kaiba felt the need to make some clarifications.
"You know, by being offended by what he said, I was in no way trying to insinuate that you were in anyway undesirable─"
"Kaiba, I know─"
"Yugi, I'm trying to make an effort here─"[14]
"I agreed with you about the guy!"
"I know, but sometimes you can be kinda passive aggressive and you called me an idiot─"
"I didn't call you an idiot, I told you I was joking."
"Why are you arguing with me?"
"Why are you arguing with me?"
"I don't know!" There was a silence.
"Ugh… you're just in a bad mood because it's past your bedtime."
Kaiba laughed. "It's oddly true."
"I'm sorry if I came across differently than I intended."
"No, I just… I guess I just wanted it to be clear that… as much as certain things still annoy me, and I still plan to defeat you… I like…" Kaiba coughed and said softly, "Value our friend… and I think highly of you."
"Right… Hey, Kaiba?"
"Yeah?"
"I should go in."
"Right, go in, go home."
"But before I do I wanted to say something─And I'm just going to say it as fast as I can before I change my mind─I've had a crush on you for a while now, and since I thought it would freak you out─partly because of our past and partly because I thought you were strait or more likely asexual─I was sorta pretending to myself it wasn't a thing─And I was never ever going to tell you─So yeah, I'll see you on Saturday for the holiday dinner thing and this totally shouldn't make it weird and-and-and neither should this," Yugi said before giving Kaiba a kiss on the cheek and then jumping out of the car to be on his way.
Kaiba sat there for a moment, just staring out of his windshield wondering if the heat in his face was from anger or blushing.[15] Finally he drove away, trying to suppress a small smile.
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Normally I don't like to mention sexuality with in pairing pieces. I usually like to leave it in a realm where everyone is just sexual, but when the idea struck, it seemed like too much fun to write, to pass it up. Thanks for reading it, you're awesome.
Footnotes:
[1] Essentially money Kaiba could afford to blow his nose with.
[2] I.e., sadness, depression, mania, homicidal and suicidal impulses, feelings of failure, the fear that Mokuba will leave him, Gozaburo, Noah, the Big Five, Pegasus, and their memories, legacies and holograms.
[3] It was two 5 dollar bills and a 1.
[4] Donations go directly to the Domino City Animal Shelter.
[5] Despite his new and improved attitude, Kaiba still lived on a daily quota of patience, which Yugi believed was all too small, once even giving him a mail-organizer box as a gift saying, "I thought you could keep more patience in it."
[6] Kaiba decided not to continue with everything that he'd wanted to say after "love is a broad spectrum," because he had been trying to be more "functional," as his therapist called it. But he was highly insulted by the question, as he felt his love for his parents was just as important as any romantic love, and he did know how it felt to not be able to be with people he loved and no petition was going to bring them back.
[7] Little did Yugi know, he and Kaiba shared similar sentiments about what should be important to everyone.
[8] Yugi had always felt for those that were different, and supported the rights of all people, but he had not in fact, always considered himself homosexual, only in the last three years had Joey and Téa started making him admit that he had lost all interest in women.
[9] Though it was never stated aloud, it did entirely dawn on the petitioner that Kaiba, although a mouthy idiot with no tact, was as frustrated with the government as he was, and had been lulled into a lethargy about the subject, with his only hope being that this petitioner spent as much time with his family or significant other as he did out here in the cold.
[10] Kaiba was thoroughly embarrassed by the tiny donation.
[11] Festivus is a secular parody holiday, with one of its most memorable traditions being the airing of grievances, in which it's appropriate and welcomed that everyone at the table complain about each other. Obviously, this is a holiday well loved by Kaiba.
[12] They could, in fact, still hear him.
[13] An employee once got a picture of Kaiba tickling Mokuba in an awkward position and tried to blackmail Kaiba with it, saying he'd go to the press. Kaiba told him to go ahead, because they had just been playing and doing nothing of suspect. The man tried, but out of fear and respect, (but mostly fear) no one would print it but one of the least respected gossip rags in Domino. Rather than seeing the obviously playful, and out of context-ness of the picture, everyone who saw it assumed it was photo shopped.
[14] Yugi's favorite thing to say when Kaiba was being unsociable since they'd become friends was, "Would you at least try to make an effort?!"
[15] It was blushing.