Title: Girl Problems

Author: S J Smith

Rating: Anyone can read

Disclaimer: Arakawa owns all, and I just write fanfic.

Summary: Roy's too young for this.

Note: Happy birthday, D!

X X X

Roy slumped over the bar, his forehead resting in the center of his book. Chris glanced at her son, her eyebrows raised, then over at Monica. Over-exaggeratedly, Monica mouthed the words, 'Girl trouble', and rolled her eyes.

Chris considered doing the same, but this was her flesh and blood, and she owed it to him to find out what was wrong, without judging him. At least, not to his face. A ten year old boy, after all, was a prickly creature. She remembered his father being the same way, all spit and vinegar, then suddenly, as gooey as a caramel candy. Hmm. She wanted a piece of caramel now.

Putting off her sweet tooth with the promise of a caramel later, Chris made her way to the bar, leaning on the back of the chair next to Roy's. "Is there something you want to tell me?"

A muffled, "No," came from the inside of the book.

"Did something happen at school?"

Roy dragged himself upright, a scowl making his face thunderous. "Why are girls so weird?"

Chris reached inside her bra strap, fishing out her cigarette case and tapping the fag on the bartop. Roy promptly struck a match for her to light up. "Weird, how?" she asked, blowing smoke streams.

"They don't make any sense! Not like alchemy!" Roy slapped his book.

"That's because it's not science, Roy-boy, it's people. Not exactly the same thing."

Roy's pout deepened. "It ought to be!"

She studied his furious eyes. "Maybe I need to make you a tutorial," Chris murmured.

He brightened immediately. "Could you? Because girls don't make any sense!"

"Your father said the same thing." Chris tousled Roy's hair. "But he grew out of it, and married your mom." The boy's eyes dimmed. "Don't worry, Roy, I'll help, and you'll do fine."

The sweet smile he rewarded her with nearly made her breath catch. Why did he have to remind her so much of her little brother? "Go on, go back to your studies, and we'll start your training later."

"'Kay!" He slithered off the stool, book in hand, and thundered out of the bar.

Chris sighed. "Either he's too young for this, or I'm getting too old. Girl problems!"

X X X