Better Days, a gilmore girls fanfic

Title:Better Days

Summary: Trory songfic. College graduation and Tristan learns about something he had all along, wasn't aware of and lost not five minutes ago. AU History, but in character.

Disclaimer: I don't own anything but the plot. I have given credit to each song below and if you haven't heard them, I suggest you do. They are all amazing.

A/N: Just a fic idea I had stuck in my head. Tristan and Rory's history is a bit different (she came to Chilton in fifth grade and was Tristan's friend until he became Chilton's playboy but slowly fell for him; Tristan has no idea) anyways… lyrics are in italics and I put what song each section came from (each section in italics is from a different song) and they are in order. Hope you like it!

A/N2: Oh, and since I am just in high school, I'm not sure if colleges have valedictorians but they do for my story. Some of Rory's speech is from GG so don't own that either.

Lyrics are taken from: Boys of Summer (Don Henley), Paradise by the Dashboard Light (Meat Loaf), Someone that You're With (Nickelback), Why Don't You and I (Santana & Chad Kroeger), Sympathy (Goo Goo Dolls), Best Day of My Life (Jesse McCartney), Because You Loved Me (Celine Dion), Good Riddance (Green Day), and Better Days (Goo Goo Dolls)

She remembers.

She remembers when he was just her friend. When everything was simple. But in ninth grade, he had changed. He used to be content talking to her and a few of her friends for a little while before saying good bye and leaving. He used to be different.

Now, though, he's changed. He only talks to her when it's convenient for him or when she joins a conversation. He has bigger, better friends than her.

And she's fallen for him.

It's been a subtle change, beginning with her just noticing differences about him and smiling after talking to him. Their sarcasm-filled banter used to just be a daily fixture in her life. Now it was a rarity. They barely talk about anything outside of quick, three line conversations, and they are all about stupid things: movies, homework and friends. Nothing like what they used to talk about. Oh, they used to talk about those subjects, but it wasn't just a one minute conversation.

She misses him.

Don't look back, you can never look back.

I thought I knew what love was;

What did I know?

Those days are gone forever

I should just let them go.

It is her graduation day from Yale and she can see him, sitting one row in front of her and one seat away. If she turns her head just barely to the left, her face is not five feet away from his head.

She hates this.

Being so close to him, but not truly knowing him is killing her. She still remembers him in middle school, when he was a friend and a semi-crush that she had loved hanging out with. Now, she can only wish that he could at least be considered a friend.

But he's too far away from her to notice.

She still loves him, in every way. It's almost ironic for her to think that she fell in love with him before he was Chilton's most wanted. Now, he is graduating from Yale's most wanted, and she has a feeling that pretty soon he'll be on the top ten list of most eligible bachelors in People magazine.

She will never have him to herself again.

She will never be one of the few girls in his life anymore. Even as a friend. She will be lucky to be one of the many. She just can't accept it. She still remembers in seventh and eighth grade, when they were actually friends, or at least she thought they were. She remembers rolling her eyes and giggling at his smirks showing that he was mentally turning everything she said into an innuendo of some sort. She remembers talking to him during class and getting reprimanded by the teacher. She remembers eating lunch with him and his friends, laughing and carrying on.

It was long ago

And it was far away.

It was so much better than it is today.

The only thing that hadn't changed in ninth grade was eating lunch together.

And it wasn't for the same reasons.

It wasn't so she could see him. Well, it wasn't just that reason. Oh, she still was in love with him then, but it was more or less to hang out with his 'less popular' friends he still ate lunch with. Lunch seemed to be the only time when he was the boy she remembered from the fifth grade. She remembers laughing at his friends, and having a crush on one of them, then feeling guilty, as if she was cheating on him. It didn't matter though.

She tried to move on. Or at least pretend she had.

She tried to ignore it when people confided in her that they thought that he liked them or they had a crush on him. She tried to hide the fact that it was killing her inside. It worked during school. Not even her mother knew the extent of her feelings.

She was hurt and angry and, in all honesty, tired of it all.

Somewhere the one I wanna be with's

With somebody else.

Oh God, I wanna be that someone that you're with.

She has told herself many times that she was going to give up; let him go. And not one of those times did she succeed. She couldn't help hoping that one day she would wake up, say 'I don't love him anymore' and have it be true. Somewhere, she knew it would never happen.

But here she is, almost thirteen years after meeting him for the first time, and she still loves him.

She can't explain it. He really isn't worth it. He's a different person than who she fell in love with. She has stayed the same. But he hides behind a mask. She has texts still saved on her phone from years ago when he had let his guard down and become himself.

She had saved them as proof to show that he had once been a simple, nice, funny guy.

Slowly I begin to realize this is never gonna end
But about the same time you walk by
And I say oh here we go again.

Now he is a cocky playboy whose ego could barely fit in the room with him. Girls want him and guys want to be him. His name is recognized as the most prominent name in Hartford society, and he uses it to his advantage.

As she sits here, reflecting on how much he's changed, she realizes something incredibly important.

She doesn't love him anymore.

No, she loves the guy he used to be.

The fun, lovable, sarcastic guy who had been the object of her affection for four years. She smiles, feeling like she can finally let him go.

Then, without warning, he turns his head towards her. He doesn't know the thoughts going through her head. He doesn't know that he was hers and that she has just set him free. He gazes at her, finding it hard to believe that it was the same girl he had befriended in fifth grade.

And I was in love with things I tried to make you believe I was
And I wouldn't be the one to kneel before the dreams I wanted
And all the dark and all the lies were all the empty things disguised as me

He knows she was hurt. He knows he had changed. He knows she could see through the lies. What he didn't know was that he had been loved, and not just by any girl. He was loved by the one person in his life that could really see him.

And he was too good to realize what he had right in front of him.

She wasn't popular, she was a bookworm, and she could care less about clothes and normal 'girly' things in middle school. In high school, she changed a little, but not too much for most to take notice of her. In college, he had hardly paid attention to her.

Had he noticed her, he would have noticed many changes in the shy girl he had once known. She had grown up. She was tall, slender, elegant, beautiful, still as smart as ever, witty, and wanted by most guys.

Except for him.

He had been oblivious to everything outside of his social circle. Thinking back, he remembers her catching his eye at a Life and Death Brigade party, dancing in a little black dress and heels, hair down and curling, framing her face. He hadn't recognized her until he had gotten home and had found it hard to believe that it was her.

Just another day

Started out like any other

Just another girl who took my breath away

Then she turned around

She took me down

In all honesty, he hadn't wanted to believe it. Why? Because he knew that he would have fallen for her.

And the King of Yale could not be a 'one woman man'. He couldn't fall for anyone.

Especially her.

There was no way he would allow himself to date her. She knew too much. She knew what made him happy, of course, but also knew what could break him into pieces. And he didn't like the idea of dating someone who had the ability to hurt him.

So, he sat by and, even though she thought he hadn't seen her during Yale, he had. He had watched her date that blonde wannabe King of Yale, the brunette bartender, the bag boy and then going back to the bartender. He had hated all of them, even the one she dated for three of those four years, because even though he had treated her right, he was the guy standing with her, and not the King.

This was the one time where he hadn't gotten what he wanted. And he wasn't sure if he was ready to give up just yet.

Finally, the point in the graduation comes where the valedictorian is supposed to make a speech. He lifts his head up, happy to hear something that could interest him. His breath catches in his throat as he hears her name being said over the sound system and she walks up onto the stage.

You gave me wings and made me fly

You touched my hand I could touch the sky

I lost my faith; you gave it back to me

You said no star was out of reach

You stood by me and I stood tall

She takes a breath and starts in. "I live in two worlds. One is a world of books. I've been a resident of Faulkner's Yoknapatawpha County, hunted the white whale aboard the Pequod, fought alongside Napoleon, sailed a raft with Huck and Jim, committed absurdities with Ignatius J. Reilly, rode a sad train with Anna Karenina, and strolled down Swann's Way. It's a rewarding world, but my second one is by far superior. My second one is populated with characters slightly less eccentric but supremely real, made of flesh and bone, full of love, who are my ultimate inspiration for everything." She pauses and looks over the crowd, noticing two more smiling faces, encouraging her to go on. "Richard and Emily Gilmore have helped me through everything that has gone on these past four years. Everyone in my home town showed me I could do whatever it was that I believed in." At this point, she swallows back some tears, tears she is sure that are caused by joy. "Of course, I would be nothing without Lorelai Gilmore, from whom I was given my name and my life. She filled our home with love and books and music and never held me back from anything I ever wanted." She takes a deep, shaky breath and adds a final thought that she had thought about over and over on whether or not she should add it. "And a guy, who even though he didn't know it, and probably still doesn't, helped me get through everything. This entire class has had good times, heartbreaks, and countless adventures, and while we may have regretted it at the time, it'll be sad for all of us to leave the place where everything happened. I, along with almost everyone else, have had the time of my life." She smiles and walks down the stairs and takes her seat as applause breaks out everywhere.

It's something unpredictable,

But in the end it's right.

I hope you had the time of your life.

He looks over to where she is sitting with his mouth slightly open in awe. He can't help but hope that he is the guy she was talking about. Then, before he knows it, he has his diploma in his hand and he and the other students were milling around the main courtyard.

"Dugray!" a female voice calls out.

He turns around and smiles slightly. "Gellar."

"Congrats. You survived Yale."

Tristan nods. "I could say the same for you, although it's not all too surprising." He glances around the courtyard.

Paris notices his wandering gaze and says, "She's talking to her mother and stepfather and meeting me here."

"Who?" Tristan asks, playing dumb.

"Tristan, you just graduated from an Ivy League school. I know you're not that stupid."

"Did I ask where she was?"

"You were thinking it. And how did you know who I was talking about?" she retorted.

"Paris…" Tristan trails off warningly.

"You heard the speech, you were wondering if you were that guy…" Paris smirks, knowing she's getting to him.

Just then, she walks up to the two talking. "Hey, Gilmore!" Paris says.

"We survived Yale," Rory states to Paris, almost ignoring Tristan's presence. The two girls carry on a conversation for a minute before Paris walks away to find Doyle, leaving Rory with Tristan.

"Congrats on getting valedictorian," Tristan says to her.

"Thanks," Rory replies, not quite sure how to act around him since she gave the speech.

After a few awkward seconds of silence, Tristan takes a deep breath and says, "Rory, I gotta know. Who's the guy?"

She doesn't miss a beat, surprising him, and replies, "The old you."

He looks at her, puzzled. "The old me?"

She just stares at him head on, determined to tell him the truth and not run like she usually does. "The one who was my friend, the one who paid attention to me occasionally, the one who didn't love anything in a skirt and the one who made friends because of their attitudes, not their status. That's who I was talking about. I guess I had hoped the old Tristan still lived on inside of you. He disappeared in ninth grade," she says. She pauses and adds, "And I can't believe I loved you this long, just waiting for that guy to come back and shine through. I wasted over eight years, Tristan, and I have nothing to show from it." She takes a shaky breath, finding it hard to believe that she had just spilled all that to the one guy she had always decided never to tell.

He stops, a little shocked at her confession and her brutal honesty. "You…"

"Loved you? Yes. And today before I had to do that speech, I had discovered that I don't love you anymore."

He feels like he's been hit in the stomach at those words. "You don't, huh?"

She shakes her head sadly. "No. I love the guy you used to be. The guy in middle school. Remember him? The real you."

He takes her by her elbow to a more secluded area in the corner of the courtyard and sits them down on a bench before saying, "It's harder than that, Mare. I can't just go back to who I was then. I changed, and I don't know what to tell you."

Rory's eyes fill with tears. "Well, I'm glad I had decided that I don't love you anymore, otherwise that would've really hurt." The bitter note of sarcasm hidden under the sadness is evident to him. She quickly wipes under her eyes with the back of her hand and smiles weakly. "I have to get out of here. Bye, Tristan."

"No one saw what you did and it scared me," his voice from behind her says, stopping her.

"Scared you?" she replies, turning around, not truly believing she's having a 'real, emotional' conversation with one Tristan Dugray.

"You know how to make me happy, I know. But, you also have the power to break me. No other girl has the ability to do that, and it scares me."

"You couldn't have told me this before?"

"No. I was too wrapped up in avoiding the issue to do that. I couldn't. I don't think I would've known how."

"You know, if this is leading up to a big rejection, let me know now so I can leave. I don't want to prolong humiliation."

"You are going to Hartford to write for the newspaper, correct?"

"Yes," Rory answers warily. She had wanted to accept a job offer in Boston but had chosen Hartford to be closer to her family and be in a more familiar area.

"I am going to be working for my father, as I'm sure you figured, in Hartford, so if you still want to try that whole dating thing…it'd probably work out for both of us, Mare."

Rory rolls her eyes at the nickname but inwardly smiles at the smirk that's come across his face. "I don't know, Tristan. How do I know I can trust you?"

Tristan spreads his arms out on either side of him. "How can you not trust a guy that looks like this?" he says, the cockiness from middle school showing through and making Rory grin. He gets up and wraps an arm around Rory's shoulders and says, "How about we go get some coffee? We can talk, congratulate each other over making it through Yale with minor scarring, catch up a little and I can persuade you that this is gonna work."

Rory smiles and leans into him. "Definitely. Minor thing though."

"What?"

"Be able to persuade me completely, 'cause after all you put me through since I met you, you're gonna need all the help you can get. It's gonna take quite a bit before I'd be ready to date you. I'm not jumping into anything," she says, and though her tone is slightly teasing, there is a definite note of seriousness to it.

She may have loved the old him, and while this new guy may be different, there may be more to him, and maybe, just maybe she'll get the best of both.

Because at the rate they are going, they are definitely heading for better days.

And you asked me what I want this year

And I try to make this kind and clear

Just a chance that maybe we'll find better days

'Cause I don't need boxes wrapped in strings

And designer love and empty things

Just a chance that maybe we'll find better days

So take these words and sing out loud

'Cause everyone is forgiven now

'Cause tonight's the night the world begins again

I need some place simple where we could live

And something only you can give

And that's faith and trust and peace while we're alive

And the one poor child who saved this world

And there's ten million more who probably could

If we all just stopped and said a prayer for them

So take these words and sing out loud

'Cause everyone is forgiven now

'Cause tonight's the night the world begins again

I wish everyone was loved tonight

And somehow stop this endless fight

Just a chance that maybe we'll find better days

So take these words and sing out loud

'Cause everyone is forgiven now

'Cause tonight's the night the world begins again

A/N3: So how was it? Did ya like it? I did, personally, and I don't usually like things I write. So, hope you feel the same….and I love reviews (hint, hint cough, cough)