I'll Come for You
The Shinsengumi had entered Edo already, preparing for a battle they were hesitant to admit, they were outnumbered...however, Kondou insisted they continue to hold the walls until their support came.
Things were going the way they had planned; not necessarily in favor, but of what was already expected to be of any possibility...until news of enemy forces came.
"The enemy has joined forces with another! And they are on their way", a messenger shouted in urgency.
"I will get back up, and return as soon as possible." Hijikata frowned sternly, turning to his subordinates who were obviously not taking this terrible situation well, as one shouted in distress"Kondou-san should not have not carelessly taken his time! Look what happens?".
Hijikata could not disagree, but had to settle the uproar logically "It is too late to worry about that now, we should focus of what we can still do", he said, taking a breathe "I'll go right away, whatever happens make sure you protect our leader and escape safely if need be". Hijikata stood up.
"Right, we will do our best in your absence...were counting on you vice-captain! Leave this up to us until you are back". With full trust in his subordinates, Hijikata nodded in response. "I take my leave than, good luck to you all".
Hijikata started his pace outside the tent, geared up quickly and readied his horse. This was a very stressfull time, with such slim chances of winning to begin with, why did this have to happen to?. He quicky shook the thoughts of his head, and remembered his mission.
Just as Hijikata was leaving on the camp behind him on foot, his horse behind, he spotted a familiar sight, he had wished to see before he left.
"Hijikata-san..."
"Chizuru...?"
"Please have a safe trip, come back to us" Chizuru looked worried as usual, that serious look on her face. She was most worried now however, with their problems being many...and their vice-commander being absent was uncomfortable for everyone. Everyone looked up to Hijikata. However, Chizuru was different...not only did she look up to him, but there was a warm feeling building up inside her whenever he was close...comfort, perhaps.
"Make sure you stay alive, Chizuru..." Hijikata wore a serious mask, hiding his relief.
"I want to help! Please!" Chizuru bowed, lowering her head in desperation. "I want to be of use to everyone, you are all fighting, I want to help, please! I'll help protect Kondou-san and be his bodyguard!"
"Chizuru..." He felt flabbergasted, his face turn to serious worry. "You should flee. Go where it is safe...there will only be war here, it is not a place for you to be stuck, run away..."
"Please!" she bowed lower, hoping her stature would show her determination.
"...Alright...we will swear on it, and I'll make it an order that you are in charge of protecting Kondou-san's life...". Chizuru looked up in relief of her effort, smiling.
"Thank You!" she exclaimed, clearly relieved of the guilt she had been building up.
"Now that we have decided, I will charge you" Hijikata said, as she nodded, him taking a quick breath as to say something brief and important "I charge you, Chizuru Yukimura, of protecting Kondou-san's life, and when it comes to the time you must flee, leave with Saito-san and take Kondou-san with you, at all costs..."
"Yes! I'll do my best, I promise."
"Chizuru...please do not die..." a stern, serious face looked into her. She didn't really know how to reply. "No matter what, you must stay alive...do not die.."
"Hijikata-san..." her eyes widened, the sudden interest in her safety seemed so dire.
"You must still be here when I come back...when it comes to retreat, you must do so...stay alive!" he felt his insides tingling at his own words, hiding his long-hidden feelings.
"..." Chizuru looked at him, shocked. He had always looked out for her, saved her when her life was in danger...but what, was this? It was as if...
Just as Chizuru tried to decipher her fearless leader, she felt some lukewarm hands on her face. They held for a few minutes, gently in the moment created by their actions. She didn't know what to do, what to say, how to react...only that, as her brain registered what had just happened...she saw his gaze.
Deeply yet determined, stern and serious, He looked at her...holding his hands still against her blushed cheeks. Their eyes met, his softening and hers taking it in, his deep gaze was new.
"Please, do not die...I'll come for you, no matter what. Be here when I come back, be safe...live.."
"Hijikata...-san..." Chizuru sunk into eyes, feeling is emotions, feeling in need of his presence. "I'll wait for you, no matter what...if that is what you wish...no, I'll-"
"I don't order you this out of mere comrade status, I not only order you to live on, but, it is my desire to see you again..." he looked at her, trying to hide part of his emotion, yet wanting so much to just let himself show...what if they had no other time together? What if this was the last time he saw her? He chased the negative, cold feeling out with the sight he had before him...Chizuru.
Hijikata stared, awhile reminiscing about how she came into the life of the shinsengumi-a captive, a mere hostage. Not a mere hostage He hold himself. Chizuru was useful as a way also to contact her father...that was her main motive, her mission..and now, she has gone so far with his troupe. She wants to fight?
Hijikata remembered as well, a warm smile on his face, of when she was made to wear womans clothing. In his eyes, she looked beautiful, transformed...but not something he did not already see in her. Chizuru could act all she wanted in public, but he knew very well how much of a female she was, and he adored her. I love her...?. He held her face in his hand still, seeing his object of affection succumb to his tender ways.
I do not know what has made Hijikata so sudden, but I wonder if he has always had such a gentle side...I always noticed how kind he is towards us even when he is being harsh, and how he smiles just so subtly, but...She looked at Hijikata's overall face, taking in his expression.
It was now obvious he had deeper feelings for her, she concluded, and felt comfortable by his touch. I feel like I want this to last forever, like I've been waiting for him to touch me, I'm in love with Hijikata-san...at the realization of her own words, she blushed deeper shades as she caught herself saying,
"I will stay alive as long as I can, Hijikata-" Chizuru noticed his lips motioning to speak, she stopped.
"I have to leave still, soon...but no matter what, but, I'll be back, I promise..." Hijikata appeared as despaired as he felt, but reassured her of what he believed, no matter those odds.
"Please be careful...be quick, but don't hurt yourself or get into reckless fights...just, come back, okay?" Chizuru felt a small tear come loose. Hijikata noticed, his eyes widening at her stern wish for his return, it affected him.
He wiped the tear from her face, with reassuring her again, coaxing her face gently."I promise" he smiled softly, yet so subtle.
"I'll wait, I'll wait for you, I will stay alive not only for everyone, myself...but most of all, for you, Hijikata-san" Chizuru let her emotions seep into her words, and calmed down.
Hijikata gently played with her hair, and toke his hands off her. He stood for a second, waiting on her.
"I-" Chizuru attempted.
"Tell me when I come back...just hold on a bit longer" He said, still smiling, a small smirk on the corner of his face. He was testing his fate just by promising his return, but all this made it such a gamble, that he couldn't help but smile over what he had just promised.
"Okay, he careful, and, please convince them...I want us all to leave, I want no one to die over this"
"Understood, miss Chizuru. I take my leave, wait for me, and give the others news of my leave. I need to hurry now...please live, Chizuru..."
"I will, just make sure you return" Chizuru looked worried again, a ache in her stomach. She felt the gamble of losing a loved one, the desperation of not knowing what will happen...but she had to hold on, and be strong. Be strong...
Just than, Hijikata lightly kissed her forehead, causing her to react. He got up on his horse, and adjusted the gear before turning to face her, reigns in hand.
"Be of good health, and do not lose sight of your mission. Remember, I can take care of myself, just worry about your sake and do not falter. Be strong!"
Before Chizuru could say any more, she heard the horse neigh in response to the kick his master gave...and down the trail, into the forest, he was gone.
The dust lingered in the air, Chizuru caught in the moment.
"...Hijikata..." Chizuru lost in what had just happened, so much in so little, so sudden...yet so relieving, and now the relief object had left her. She felt herself hit reality as she remembered him ride off, and her mission in response. Snapping out of her daze, Chizuru remembered her original reason for going after Hijikata outside the camp, and started back.
"Chizuru?" Okita saw her now by the main tents. He had not seen her, and the others were looking for her in concern.
"Hijikata wanted to let you know he has left, and he takes haste"
"...I see, that's good...I really hope this all works out..." Okita seemed bothered, but it made sense. He was very tense over their dillemma, and Kondou's sudden desire to appeal to the shogunate.
"By the way, Chizuru...we all know Hijikata feels dearly for you"
"Eh? You know what?" Chizuru blushed in shock.
"It is nothing to be ashamed of, Hijikata treats us all well. He cares deep down inside for his comrades, despite his harsh ways sometimes...but we all know you are special."
"...You do?"
"Yes..." Okita smiled. He himself was quite fond of her, but more than anything, he understood his vice-commander, and that this girl was probably a good thing for him...they were always so worried about him.
"Hijikata-san works very hard, and at these moments, he's been trying to accommodate for when Kondou-san is not around. You are the stubbornness he needs to have with him, to eat his meals when he doesn't want to, and to calm his tired spirit". Okita showed a face of genuine respect for his leader."...He has softened up, all of us have...for the best, for we can still fight, but now we have more to protect-you.."
"But-!"
"Don't object to it, silly girl..., Okita smiled, laughing slightly, "you are an asset we've always needed. You do not get in the way, rather, when we need to hear words none of us seem to know how to say, you say it. And when one of us loses our sights of what's most important, you have no problem objecting.,..'Hijikata needs that. We all do...but Hijikata-san needs something to help his ambitions always be a-flame...as long as he has you to protect, he will not falter, and neither will we. You are special to all of us, must most of all...please help him when he won't talk to us about his problems"
Okita toke a breath.
He had spoken in pure genuine words, and it seemed to take a toll being so emotional sometimes. He smirked. "After all, a woman always has a way of doing those things..."
"those things...?" Chizuru responded, confused slightly.
"You woman seem to know when we need you most, and some things come so easily, it is harder for us to express what you do. However, not all woman interest our Vice-commander Hijikata-san...he likes mature woman, ones who can also make him smile, somehow, but most of all, one that does not try too hard to be something she does not have to-you are just yourself, and you are fun to be around!"
Okita ruffled Chizuru's hair, messing up her ponytail.
"Hey-hey!"
Okita laughed, stopping. He would have teased her more, if he had not heard the other men losing their demeanor. Saito was calm as usual, but deep down, something was genuinely bothering him. He signaled Okita to help him suppress the other men.
Soon enough, enemies started to close in to their proximity, and war was breaking out...Hijikata was running by horse as fast as he humanly could, with thoughts of Chizuru at the back of his mind...driving the strides of his horse stronger, urging them to become companions in need of rider and horse cooperation, they could be a better warrior, with their beliefs behind them. Hijikata moved onwards, with his dear comrades in mind, his strong beliefs, and now, most of all, his beloved who had helped him feel his doubts dissipate into stronger fires.
He would return, he had promised. He held onto that promise, it was a part of who he was now, and until he came back, They, and She, would have to hold on just a bit longer...just a bit.