A/N: Even though this has themes involving the New Year, I didn't release it on the 1st because I didn't want people thinking of this as a New Years Eve(the holiday) story. I want you all to read this with the idea of a new year and all the possibilities it holds, but also the idea that you can change things today.
Happy 2011 Everyone. May it bring about the happiness and success you desire.
His apartment isn't as quiet as Leon expected it would be when he enters, slipping his shoes off and dropping his bag by the coat rack. He's not worried though, because just like he expected Cloud is sitting on his couch watching his TV with one of his Coke Zeros in his hand. The blond barely looks away to welcome him home and so he can only sigh and drop onto the couch next to him. He blandly watches the boy intently ignore him.
The first time he had met Cloud Strife was at the beginning of the first semester, when the younger man had accidentally run into him in the stairwell and sent them both sprawling. The blond was extremely shy and closed off, so it had taken Leon forever to pry out of him that he was a freshman at a college close by and was living in apartment number 24, three doors down from himself. He felt bad for the kid, all alone in a new town for the first time, just as he had been two years ago, and so he had given him his spare key in case he needed something. He hadn't told Cloud this of course, just pushed it into his hand and grunted at him to be more careful in the future.
He didn't see Cloud for almost three weeks after that, long enough that he had almost forgotten about their accidental meeting. But low and behold one day he came home to the blond sitting in his kitchen with a bag of Chinese take-out. And there began a very unwanted friendship on Leon's part.
Cloud is still pretending he is not there, thinking that if he acts normal then Leon won't kick him out. Sometimes Leon wants to chuckle at Cloud's childishness, but he never does.
"Cloud," Leon starts slowly, suppressing a smirk as Cloud tenses marginally, "go home. You have things to do, like studying for that Calc 3 test in the morning."
That bright blue gaze is turned on him and he almost relents at the silent plea. "I'll be fine, this chapter hasn't been very difficult. Besides, this is almost over anyways, can't I finish it?"
"Cloud, I've had a rough day, so I'm turning in early."
"Yeah, but—"
"Which means, " Leon cuts him off gently as he prods him with a foot, "you have to leave now."
They watch each other for a moment more before Cloud sighs and droops a little, "Yeah, okay. See you later then." He gets up and stretches, his back popping in several places, and he places the remote on top of the TV before moving to shove his feet back in his shoes.
"Good night." he calls, but Leon has already entered the bathroom down the hall, so he sighs again and leaves.
o.O.o.O.o.O.o
It has only been three days since Cloud's last visit, a relatively short absence even for him. Leon honestly doesn't know why Cloud is always trying to hang out at his place rather than his own. It wasn't like his place had better things or Cloud was out of food: he'd been over to Cloud's once and his fridge had been stocked and the small living room outfitted in some of the latest electronics. And as far as he could tell, Cloud was somewhat of a recluse just as he was.
"Get out, there's a show coming on that I want to watch." Leon secretly hopes Cloud knows his tone is supposed to be more on the lenient side than the angry one, but he's been told plenty of times that he is incapable of anything sounding closely amiable.
Cloud grins cutely –not that Leon notices of course- and makes it obvious he's settling himself more comfortably on the couch. "What are we watching?" It's supposed to be a joke, but at the same time not, hoping that Leon will find him amusing and let him stay a little longer.
"First, it's a Nova special on Cuttlefish. And second, I'm watching this show alone while you do whatever it is that you do at your own place. " Cloud fiercely resists the urge to voice his compromise that involves letting him stay if he 'cuttles'; he doubts Leon would find that very witty.
"All right, all right, I'm leaving." Cloud mutters after a moment more and collects his stuff. He stops right before the door and half looks back, "Leon, do you…do you ever get lonely here by yourself all the time?"
"Not really." The answer is solid and prompt, and leaves no room for Cloud to say anything else. He nods once and is gone.
o.O.o.O.o.O.o
Leon always holds his breath when he comes home now, ever since Cloud started appearing at random intervals. This time there is silence and so he lets the air out softly and relaxes, removing his shoes and mentally making a plan for the evening after a strenuous day of classes and an afternoon of working. But he stops short once he clears the small entry and steps into the rest of the small flat. Cloud is sleeping quietly on his couch, curled in on himself with a stray throw wrapped around him. He might as well stitch Cloud's name on that far left cushion, Hyne knows he's occupying it every damn time he turns around. He really wonders sometimes why the one time he decides to be nice it backfires.
He bypasses the blond entirely and goes into the kitchen to start brewing some water. He makes a little more noise than he usually would, trying his best to 'unintentionally' wake Cloud up so as to send him home. But as his luck would have it the younger boy sleeps through it all, and he has to approach him in the end anyways. Just before he goes to shake Cloud's shoulder he mumbles something unintelligible and nuzzles his face into the pillow deeper. Despite everything Leon finds himself gently brushing stray spikes out of the other's face, but stills as he notices the ugly bruise already starting to spread on his cheek bone and the blood clotted on his split lip.
"Cloud," Leon grumbles, "what on Gaia am I supposed to do with you? Getting yourself into trouble like this…" and before he realizes what he's doing, he's scooped the surprisingly light boy into his arms -blanket and all- and makes his way out of his apartment and to Cloud's. He can't help his surprise or the slight flush that dusts his cheeks when Cloud begins to nestle closer to him, rubbing a cheek against the bare skin at his throat.
Getting into Cloud's place while his hands are full proves to be tricky, but not impossible he finds and soon he's deposited the boy on his bed at the back of the apartment. He leaves only once he's left Advil and some water on the bedside table, and then leaves again after he's come back to helpfully rub a little antibiotic cream into the quickly forming bruise.
He passes it off as having a younger brother he used to have to take care of; that Cloud's frequent silence and pure blue eyes reminds him strangely of Sora –even though Sora is anything but quiet.
o.O.o.O.o.O.o
Cloud smiles to himself when he finds that Leon's front door is unlocked, contentedly letting himself in and kicking off his shoes. He settles on the couch's armrest, the one closest to Leon, who's only a hand's breath away.
"Hey, how was your day?" He wants to add a friendly touch to the question, but doesn't because he's scared of how Leon might act, always scared of when he might accidentally cross the metaphorical line -the one that seems to move when he isn't looking.
"Not bad, one of my classes was canceled and I didn't have work today, so I actually got to play Call of Duty for the first time in a week." Cloud is surprised Leon is actually indulging him with a real answer for once, but keeps the feeling to himself for fear it might cause the other to remember that the natural order dictates he's supposed to be pushing him back out the door.
"That's cool." He figures he's caught Leon in a rare good mood and that keeping him talking about pleasant things will distract him further. "So what're you watching? It looks pretty interesting." It actually looks like a boring documentary, but he's not stupid enough to say such a thing out loud.
"It's about the history of the Samurai, and it's really good so far." Leon goes on to fill him in on what the program had showed so far, but Cloud isn't really listening. He just smiles shyly and watches Leon's lips move, watches how the brunet seems to be enjoying his presence for the first time. It is when Leon pulls a mint out of his mouth and sets it on the rim of a nearby ashtray that Cloud interrupts him.
"Why do you always do that?"
Leon is confused, not quite understanding, "Do what?"
"Suck on a mint when you smoke."
"…Because I don't really like the taste smoking leaves in my mouth. "
"Then why smoke at all?"
"It helps me fall asleep." Leon admits after a moment of rare hesitation. "I have a hard time otherwise." And Cloud can't help but wonder what would cause him to be kept awake. The inquiry has Leon looking at the cigarette in his hand and moving it a little farther away from Cloud. "All right, time for you to leave."
"Why?" It's the first time Cloud has outright asked why he's always being pushed away, and he's almost scared of what kind of answer he will get.
"Because I don't like smoking around you, it makes me feel guilty for exposing you to it." And it's honestly the truth, something about Cloud -despite being only two years younger- seems so innocent and child-like.
"Then don't smoke, it's not like you're a chain smoker or anything. You just said you only smoke to help you sleep. We could find you something else." He keeps his alternative ideas to himself.
"Cloud," there's a warning tone in his voice, as if this is a conversation they'll only talk in circles, "It's not that easy, so please leave it alone. Now I know you just bought that new game from Squeenix, so why don't you go back to your place and check it out, and then you can tell me about it later."
Cloud stands, shrugging his jacket back on as he nods noncommitally. "Yeah okay, see you tomorrow then I guess. Enjoy your show."
o.O.o.O.o.O.o
"Okay, go home now." It's the second time Leon's said that in the last three minutes, and it's becoming apparent he won't be civil for much longer. But Cloud is determined to linger as long as he can, not wanting to go back to his empty apartment, not wanting to go home and spend another evening alone.
"Leon, I'm bored and—"
"Cloud!" It's the first time Leon has snapped at him and it stuns him into silence. "Sometimes you just need to listen to me. I'm busy all day and getting to come home to peace and quiet is something I really look forward to. I just want to smoke a cigarette and watch my shows in peace and for you to keep sitting there, preventing me from starting my evening, is disrespectfully of what you fully know are my wishes."
Cloud doesn't say anything, feels unable to find anything to say that'll make this better, as he just watches the other with a shameful blush and trying to mask the hurt in his eyes. He's never heard Leon speak so much at once, and it's upsetting that it's to berate him. He wilts a little and nods silently, retreating a bit inside himself like he used to before having met Leon. It's odd, but it's like his entire mood has been killed and his energy sapped.
Leon's miffed expression does not waver so he looks down, away from that accusing gaze that seems to pierce him. Very quietly he stands and pulls his shoes back on, moving silently as if scared he'll upset Leon further by making any noise at all. He doesn't say anything as he leaves, doesn't even hesitate as he gently closes the door behind him and Leon can't even hear him walk down the hall.
Leon has always been a loner, always existing in silence and keeping everyone at a safe distance, and yet the silence that follows Cloud's departure is almost too much and louder than Cloud ever was.
He stands there for a few more minutes, a little remorseful for snapping, but not enough to let go of his pride and apologize. The mere thought of three rooms down seems impossibly far now, even though he can make it before he can count to seven. With a heavy sigh he grabs a lighter and leans out the window, slowly lighting the end of his cigarette. After only one drag though he scowls and rips it out of his mouth, angrily rubbing it out in an ashtray and letting it fall into a puddle two stories below him.
o.O.o.O.o.O.o
Cloud rubs at his eyes tiredly, beginning to yawn but cutting it off with a wince as it makes his sore jaw ache. He stumbles a bit out in the dim hallway, his shoe catching on what he can only assume is one of number 19's textbooks; she was always leaving them out in the hallway after getting in a fight with her boyfriend and used them as projectiles.
His whole body aches, his skin littered with bruises and his lips cracked and bleeding. College was supposed to be more mature than high school, where kids didn't run in packs for the entire purpose of putting everyone else down and beating up anyone they felt threatened by. But he had assumed wrong as a small group of older boys felt it necessary to torment him when they crossed paths, goading him with insults into unfair fights. He couldn't just walk away though, he'd tried that and had only ended up worse off. And it was because of these frequent fights that most of the other kids steared clear of him, no one wanting to purposefully paint a target on their own back. But that was life he supposed, and he'd just have to suffer through another four years of it. Besides, it wasn't like he couldn't hold his own, it's just harder fighting against four guys instead of one.
He thankfully comes upon his door soon enough and fumbles with the key for a moment, trying to fit it into the lock while his right eye is starting to swell shut. On instinct he wonders if Leon is home, but then thinks it's a good thing Leon is upset with him, as he'd rather not show the other man such weakness.
He gets the door open and pushes his way in, stumbling out of his shoes and dropping all his belongings haphazardly by the small table just inside the entryway; he'll deal with it later, but he's too tired right now. Maybe he'll just go to sleep: who cares if it's new years? It's not like some stupid, made-up holiday ever makes a big difference in anyone's life.
And then he's extremely surprised to find Leon sitting on his couch, a beer in one hand and a first-aid kit balancing on one knee. His TV is on, the show casting bright shadows of light on Leon's face in the dim room, and he assumes Leon is watching one of the bigger network's coverage on the countdown to the new year.
"Oh, uh…hey." Cloud doesn't really know what to say other than that, this having never happened before.
"You look awful, are those asshole getting more violent?"
Cloud doesn't answer as he has no idea how Leon enough found out about his little 'issue'. He just shifts uneasily on his feet, looking away guiltily. Leon sighs and gestures to the spot next to him, "Well come on then, those injuries won't treat themselves."
Cloud relaxes a little and bites back a relieved smile: maybe this next year will be better than the ones before.