"You know Darry I think I am just two people melted into one."

"What? Don't be dumb Ponyboy. You're just one person. It's impossible for you to be two different people! Unless you were one of those freaks with two heads, but I can promise you that you ain't got two heads." My eldest brother, Darry, laughed.

"I didn't mean it that way... Can't you see past the black and white?"

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Strong hands pulled me about the surface of the water again.

"What the hell were you doing Ponyboy?" Darry yells in my face, shaking me rather hard.

"I don't know..." I mumbled as I ran my hand on the surface of warm water in the bathtub.

"There has to be a reason you thought it was a good idea to try and drown yourself!"

"I wasn't trying to drown..."

"Really?" Darry exclaimed sarcastically, "What were you doing then!"

"I wanted to feel what it feels like to be drowning again... Too bad I didn't notice the difference of how normal life feels compared to trying to breathe underwater.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

"I think the kid has gone crazy."

"Shut up, Steve, he is trying to sleep."

"He isn't going to hear me through the wall!"

"Just keep your voice down..." I couldn't hear the rest of their conversation. Even though I couldn't hear it didn't mean I didn't know it was about me. I wouldn't say I have gone crazy yet; rather I have grown more aware of the real world.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Sometimes, I feel as if a black hole is slowly pulling me in. Other times I think thorns have grown around soul, limiting my control over my actions. If you want me to be honest, I have become nothing. The only reason I continue to function is Darry. If someone were to take him away then I'd be completely sucked in by my black hole or the thorns would grow too tight around my neck.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

"You can't do anything to save me!" I screamed.

"Please calm down Ponyboy! I just think you should talk to a doctor or something!

"No! That's not what I should do... Exact opposite in fact."

"Why?"

"I can't stand to know that someone else knows what goes on in my head."

"Sodapop did-"

"Well guess what! He is dead!"

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Darry officially believes that I am insane. Whether I like it not, I am going to see a therapist. I swear if he actually makes me go I'll start believing that too.

"Time to go Ponyboy! Hurry up and get in the car!"

"Alright Darry... I'll be there in a second..." I lied. Nobody could make me go to that awful place. I pushed my window open. As soon as my feet hit the ground I was running.

"Ponyboy! Get back here!"

"No..." I mumbled to myself. I thought nothing would stop me, till I ran into something. I could tell who it was just by their shoes. Sodapop gave them to him after his dad refused to buy him new ones.

"Sorry Steve..."

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

No matter how many times I tried to tell myself I was okay, I wouldn't believe myself.

"Ponyboy. Look at me."

"Un..."

"What?"

"I'll Unravel."

"Unravel what?"

"Nevermind."

"No! Ponyboy, your going to tell me what had been up with you for the past couple of months!"

"Nothings wrong, Darry."

"Do you not trust me?" The look Darry gave me is one I won't forget.

"I do..."

"Then why won't let me help you!"

"I fear I'll taint you."

xxxxxxxxxxxxxx

It's hard to explain how I died. I would not say it was peaceful. I can't say I regret the bullet in my head though. I guess you could say I unraveled. The definition of unravel is to undo or ravel the entangled, knitted, or woven threads of. I told Darry I couldn't stand for someone to know what goes on in my head.

So after I told him I simply unraveled.

OKAY! Well, that was terrible wasn't it? Any suggestions? Please review!