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MikoTotsu Week
Day 1: Alone/Totsuka's Death
"See you tomorrow."
Mikoto could hear Totsuka's final words to him echoing in the stillness of the silent air around him.
"I'm sorry, Mikoto. I have bad news…"
Izumo's words soon followed, and the two phrases, so small, only ten words between them, chased each other around the inside of his head, summoning an image. Totsuka.
A pool of blood beneath a starlit night. His chest still. Not breathing. Dead. Totsuka was dead. He tried to reason it out so many times. How was this happening? This couldn't be happening. It shouldn't be happening. How was it even possible?
The image of Totsuka dead, the image from his nightmares, it wouldn't go away. It followed him and it chased him until he thought he would go insane, circling around inside of his head with Totsuka's voice ringing in his ears, promising him a tomorrow that would never come and Mikoto wanted to scream, wanted to hurt, wanted to destroy, anything, anything, as long as he would wake up, as long as Totsuka would still be there, as long as he didn't have to face the terrifying truth that threatened to consume him, consume him like the flames and emotions bubbling up inside of him, struggling and threatening to overtake him and overwhelm him.
His chest burned, his heart ached, the monster inside of him threatened with each passing moment to break free, and Mikoto missed that cool wave of serenity and comfort that Totsuka always offered him. He waited and waited for that moment when Totsuka would wrap his arms around him and pull him in close, craved the coolness of Totsuka's touch against his cheeks, yearned for his voice and his presence and his love. Mikoto broke, knowing that he would never feel this comfort again, knowing that he would have to live without him, that he would never see that smile, hear that laugh, feel those lips on his ever again.
Without him, the monster raged on. Without him, Mikoto couldn't breathe, couldn't think. Without him, it was as though everything inside him would rip him apart, would destroy and consume until there was nothing left. What was he supposed to do without him in a world that would never be the same, would never be right, would never be warm or safe again?
What was he supposed to do when it was his hands that burned the body, his hands that left behind no blood, bone, nor ash, his hands that obliterated the only thing left of Totsuka Tatara, leaving Mikoto alone, having lost the only thing he ever truly wanted to protect.
"Don't worry, everything will work out alright."
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