The teller told an unusual tale
With spider words and webs
To capture all the ears they fell upon
The story of an impossible boy
Who never even knew that he
He was real

-"Impossible Boy" The Hoosiers

XxxX

The dark gray sky rained down horrible slush as Zoro made his way down the sidewalk toward his favorite bar. He didn't have an umbrella or even know if it was socially acceptable to use an umbrella when it was sleeting out. No one ever seemed to use them when it snowed so it didn't seem likely. Thus he walked quickly toward his escape from the elements.

This sort of weather always made him feel unhappy, nothing good could ever happen on a day like this. It's appearance was foreboding, not comforting. It seemed that everyone else had the good sense to stay home rather than brave this shit. Why did January have to be so fucking shitty? Oh yeah, Earth's tilt and shit. Fucking science making the norther hemisphere experience winter.

He wished that it would just start snowing because sleet was twice as annoying and it would turn to ice when the temperature dropped. The roads were already nigh undrivable, if the temperature dropped even a little it would become a slick nightmare of metal twisting death.

He was relieved when he saw the neon lights ahead of him, they read Thousand Sunny in blocky lettering. As he pushed open the heavy door he was met by a soothingly warm burst of air along with the a slew of interesting smells that came with entering a bar. There were not many people in today but that was part of the reason Zoro liked this place, not many people would bother him here, at least not at this hour as it was still fairly early on a weekday. Another part was that he was friends with the owner and she would be pissed if he went to drink at another place, filling someone else's pockets.

The few people who were there were either too absorbed in the musician playing, or too busy with themselves to notice Zoro sit down at a bar stool. The guy playing was actually pretty good, too good to play in a dinky place like this but he was there fairly often. He was a good guy too, his name was Brook, he and Zoro were in the same circle of friends, although Brook had to run around a lot for gigs.

Zoro turned from the musician toward the bar to order his usual when he noticed that the guy who usually worked there had been replaced by someone else. Zoro wasn't particularly upset by this fact, it's not like he and the bartender had a special relationship of any kind but it was a deviation from routine.

This new guy was thin, pale, and blond; a rather stark difference from the burly burnet who usually served him. The man looked up when he felt Zoro's gaze fall to him.

"What can I get you?" the blond asked, grinning easily. His bangs covered half of his face and wow-wow-wee-wa, that eyebrow. Zoro struggled not to gawk at him.

"Sake," Zoro responded without hesitation, he was glad that he fell so easily into his usual routine, he never ordered anything else and because of this there was a large supply in stock. The bartender nodded and turned away to pour the beverage for him.

"Here you are." He set the glass gently into the counter.

Zoro nodded his thanks and took a gulp, he was never much for savoring the flavor.

"You're a regular customer, aren't you?" The blond observed, eyeing Zoro. Zoro didn't like being eyed by anyone.

"So what if I am? Don't you have a job to be doing?" Zoro said in a rather unfriendly way. He really wasn't a people person and he didn't appreciate the attempt at conversation. But the blond didn't seem dissuaded, as Zoro had hoped he would be. He didn't even blink at the dismissal.

"Well, there's really not much for me to be doing." He waved a hand to the other patrons who were not paying any attention at all. "So, I think it's alright if I slack off just this once. I read you as a regular and I'm a pretty good about this sort of thing."

Zoro huffed, "Yeah, I come here everyday after work, so what?"

"It's just an observation, no need to be defensive," the blond said, folding together his arms.

Zoro growled, "Where's the other guy? I miss him, he didn't try talking to me."

"I don't know, I just started here and this is the time they gave me. And talking to people won't kill you, civilized people do it all the time," the bartender rolled his eyes like Zoro was some fickle child.

"Yeah, well, it's overrated," Zoro grumbled, taking another swig of his drink.

"But without communication we wouldn't get anything done, moss head," the blond drawled.

Zoro's eyebrow twitched. "What did you call me?" he asked dangerously. This guy had some serious nerve.

"I called you a moss head, marimo. See, I can do a lot with words," he smirked, his hands propping him on the counter.

"You're one to talk, curly-brow!" Zoro said angrily.

The blond's demeanor took a one-eighty turn. "You wanna say that again, you shitty plant?" He seethed.

"Say what, dart-brow?"Zoro said trying to intimidate the other man with his stone cold eye contact.

"You know what, you piece of shit." The bartender held his gaze unblinkingly and without flinching.

"Spiral-face."

"Grass head."

"Lab accident."

"Seaweed brain!"

"Goatee wearing prick!"

"Jackass!"

"Bastard!"

The blond was halfway over the bar as he stared down this green haired jerk. They hadn't noticed that they had attracted the attention if everyone in the bar with their screaming at each other, that included the owner who ran out to see what the hell was going on.

"Sanji, what is going on?" A woman with short orange hair smashed open the door to the back. She placed her hands on her hips with an angry expression on her face.

Sanji turned from Zoro quickly. "Ah, sorry, my dear. I got a bit carried away," he explained lightly.

The woman with orange hair narrowed her eyes at him. "Make sure it doesn't happen again. I'd hate to have to get rid of you on your first day," she threatened but then she seemed to notice Zoro for the first time. "God dammit, you asshole, why are you picking fights with my employee?"

Zoro huffed, "I wasn't picking fights, he was just being a dick and I couldn't let him get away with it."

"I was not!" Sanji exclaimed in an offended tone.

"He was, so why don't you either reprimand your employee of walk right back there, witch," Zoro spat.

"Don't talk to Miss Nami like that, you bastard!" Sanji howled, looking like he wanted to jump over the counter and deck him in his stupid face.

Zoro raised a fist, "You wanna go, blondie?!"

"Knock it off, both of you!" Nami shouted, "Sanji, just apologies to him, it will make things easier," Sanji looked like he wanted to say something very badly but held his tongue. "You," she pointed at Zoro, "don't be such an asshole, I know it must be difficult but I'm sure if you try really, really hard you can manage it." And with that she turned on her heels back through the door.

The bartender, Sanji, turned back toward the oaf with an irritated expression. "I'm sorry," he said through gritted teeth, "That was unprofessional of me."

"Yes, it was," Zoro said just to be that much more of an asshole.

"You're a piece of work, you know that?" Sanji grumbled.

Zoro leaned back and took a drink of sake. "I have been told that, yes. I think sometimes people find me difficult."

"And I can't imagine why," Sanji rolled his eyes, "Although this was the most interesting thing that happened today so maybe I should thank you for being such a piece of shit. I think this is a sign that I should talk to you more."

"No, I think you'll find that it's a sign of the opposite of what you said."

"Nope, it's defiantly that thing I said," Sanji said with a grin. "So next time you come in you'll have that to look forward to."

"No, don't talk to me, I don't think my mind could take much more of this."

"You seem to be holding up just fine to me," Sanji observed.

"I assure you that inside I am dying. I don't want to die yet, I have shit to do."

Sanji was about to say something in return but the door opened and a cold breeze flowed in with the ringing of the little bell over the frame. Two douchey looking guys walked in laughing to themselves.

"Oh great, they look like fun," Sanji murmured darkly.

"I was just leaving anyway." Zoro stood up hastily, knocking back the rest of his drink and setting his money on the counter.

"Ah, come on, don't be like that," Sanji whined as Zoro was about to turn away. Just before he left the blond grabbed his attention again.

"Hey, what's your name?" he asked, his eyes shifting toward the retreating form before him.

Zoro was confused as to why the guy would even care about the name of some guy he had gotten in a screaming match with but he didn't really have anything to lose by telling him. "Zoro," he stated cooly.

"Alright then, marimo, I'll see you tomorrow," Sanji gave a mock solute that made Zoro want to punch him in his smug fucking face.

"What makes you think I'll even come back?" He asked. He hated the idea that this guy could predict his next action.

"Just a feeling," Sanji said, his expression shifting back to pleasant. "Like I said, I'm good at this sort of thing."

"Whatever." And with that Zoro turned and left, maybe tomorrow he wouldn't come back out of spite but he knew he would probably return all the same. Nami would probably hunt him down if he didn't. She would probably think that he'd been kidnapped or something, he was that strict about his bar time. Not that he could possibly be kidnapped because he was not a kid but that's not the point.

As Zoro drudged his way home through the sleet he lamented the loss of his previous bartender but he was too fucking lazy to look for a new place when he had already decided he liked this one. Maybe he would just try it for a few days and if the blond fucking weirdo was too much he would find somewhere else to go. That or he could try convincing Nami tofire him, that sounded more fun.

He didn't have a whole lot to look forward to during the day aside from getting drunk. Not that he ever actually got drunk, he had an astoundingly high tolerance for alcohol.

Every day for him was about the same; work, drink, train, and sleep with the spontaneous interactions from his friends in between. He was not a very sociable person so he had only a few close friends who often dragged him around. Of his very interesting friends Luffy stuck out as the most interesting. Luffy was a tan boy with dark hair and an inexhaustible amount of energy. Both Zoro and Luffy worked for their friend's company building houses. Luffy was an odd one, he liked to think of his friends as crew members on the ship that was his life and he was the captain. He always had the greatest intentions, although sometimes he seemed more like a safety risk than anything of value.

The two of them worked for their friend Usopp, whose dad had started the small company and got it going. They didn't have a huge operation but they did well and they got things done. Usopp was the one who was in charge of the design aspect of the houses and doing owner stuff, Luffy and Zoro were more work hands, although they sometimes handled more important things when needed.

It was defiantly not the most glamorous job in the world by far and it was not the easiest either but they made enough to get by. Plus, there was always the tournament money he won.

Zoro was an amazing swordsman, if he did say so himself and he wouldn't be the only one to say so; he had won nearly every fight he'd gotten himself into. Nearly every fight.

He fought with three beautiful katanas but he could use less depending upon tournament rules. When he wasn't at work or being pulled around by his friends he was training to be the greatest swordsman in the world. It sounded sort of silly to say it like that but Zoro was never one to care much about what anyone thought about anything he did. He would be the world's greatest swordsman one day and that was that.

Zoro shuffled his way up to his shitty little apartment and unlocked the door. It gave a sullen little creak of protest as it swung open and Zoro marched inside, kicking off his boots and collapsing into bed. He didn't even have the effort to change.

XxxX

The next day Zoro found himself sitting back at the barstool again, and Sanji was grinning smugly at him.

"I knew you'd come back," he chucked, retrieving a glass to give him.

Zoro grumbled something along the lines of, "Shut up and pour me a drink."

"Same as yesterday?" he asked raising one very strange eyebrow.

Zoro nodded, Sanji remembered what he ordered yesterday without reminder. To be fair he doubted that huge number if people ordered sake. A drink was then poured for Zoro and set down in front of him.

"So, then where did we leave off yesterday?" the bartender asked sarcastically as he gave Zoro a once over. He seemed about in the same state as he had been yesterday; disgruntled and irritated.

"I think I was telling you to fuck off and let me drink in peace."

Sanji raised a hand to his chin, "Funny that's not how I remember it." Zoro tried to ignore him but he just kept going. "So what exactly is it that you do?" Sanji asked.

"Why are you asking me personal questions?" Zoro shot back.

"I'm only trying to make conversation, things can get rather boring around here, you know," Sanji heaved a sigh. All day no one interesting had come in and the one person how had piqued his interest didn't want to talk to him.

"Then why did you decided to start working here? If you don't like it you should quit," said Zoro hopefully.

"Oh, I have my reasons." Sanji raised a hand to scratch the back if his neck in a distracted way. "Anyway, you know what I do so it's only fair that I should know what you do, I think." He reasoned with very sound logic.

"Will this make you go away?" Asked Zoro, sipping at his drink.

"Maybe, probably not, but there's always the chance, right?" The blond gave a impish grin.

A chance was better than nothing and he really wanted this to go away. "I build houses," he said simply, there was no reason to get excited about it anyway.

"That's very manly of you," Sanji commented as another person took a seat at the bar. Sanji greeted them and prepared their drink, Zoro hoped that this would be the end of their interaction but the blond came back after he was done and the customer was satisfied.

"Anything interesting ever happen on the job?" the blond asked.

Zoro sighed internally, "Sometimes we have to go build on the islands, so we get to stay out there for a few months or sometimes we have someone who falls off a roof or something." Doing houses on the islands was actually kind of annoying. Put-in-bay wasn't so bad because it was more populated but islands like Kelley's were a pain because, they didn't have much in the way of fine living space or decent grocery stores. Lake Eire wasn't exactlythe most high class lake out there so it was fitting that it's islands would be more low key. Still, they had their charm.

"Are the islands very big?" Sanji asked curiously, "I just moved here and I'm not really familiar with the area."

"They aren't that big but some people live on them."

"Huh, well in any case that sounds more interesting than dealing with a bunch of drunks, so I think you have me beat there," Sanji reasoned.

"I thought you were going to leave me alone." Zoro wrinkled his nose and glared at him.

"I said I might." Sanji said shrugging uncaringly.

"Why do you want to talk to me anyway? There are other people you could be bothering." He looked around at all the other losers in room.

"I don't know. I've decided I want to talk to you so that is exactly what I'm going to do." He paused for a moment, startled that he had actually made a little rhyme. God damn poetry.

Zoro scoffed, "Is it going to be like this every time I come here?"

Sanji narrowed his eyes, "I don't know, it depends on how interesting you are."

"Oh, so if I'm really boring you'll go away, good to know."

He frowned, "Are you always such a dick?"

"Yes, now leave me alone." The green haired man grumbled before his phone started to buzz. Probably Luffy, he didn't usually get calls from anyone else; they knew better than that. Begrudgingly, Zoro lifted the phone to his ear.

"Hello?" He said lamely.

"Zoro!" Luffy exclaimed excitedly, "I need you to do something for me."

"What do you want? I'm trying to relax here," he said sarcastically, sending a glare toward Sanji, who was pretending to wipe off the spotless counter top.

"You have to tell Nami to come over next Saturday. Chopper is going to be home so we have to throw him a party. Tell her to invite Brook too." Chopper was a seventeen year old genius, who was currently enrolled in medical school to become a doctor. It had only been a few weeks since Christmas break had ended but everyone still missed him and it would be nice to see him again.

"Yeah, alright," Zoro nodded, even though he was on the phone, "I'll tell her. That all?"

"Yep! See ya, Zoro."

"Later." He ended the call and pocketed his phone, turning back to Sanji. "Oi, go get your boss, I have to talk to her."

Sanji eyed him suspiciously, "And what would a brute such as yourself want with a nice lady like her?"

Zoro snickered, "Nice lady my ass, I'm pretty sure outside of this place she pickpockets people in the street."

And that same anger from yesterday flashed across Sanji's face, "Don't talk about her like that, she is a lovely woman and you would be blessed if she gave you the time of day."

Zoro rolled his eyes, "Just get her or I will."

Sanji huffed and walked into the back, reemerging a moment later behind Nami.

"What do you want," she asked, crossing her arms impatiently.

"Chopper's going to be here next weekend so Luffy's throwing him a party. He said to invite Brook too."

Nami looked quite happy at this, "Alright then, I'll text him later. Tell Luffy we need lots of alcohol."

Zoro's eyebrow twitched, "You own a bar, why don't you bring the alcohol?"

Nami scowled, "Because I don't want to."

"You're such a-"

"Finish that sentence and I'll kick you in the head, marimo," Sanji threatened.

"I'd like to see you try, you little twig," Zoro shot back. Sanji opened his mouth to retort but was cut off by Nami.

"Boys, no fighting in here. Zoro, I will not hesitate to throw you out."

Zoro scoffed as she waked away, "Whatever."

After she left Zoro sat back onto his stool as a curious bartender stared at him.

"How do you know Nami?" He asked in slight wonder. Why on earth would Nami associate with a Neanderthal like this guy? It was truly a mystery.

Zoro gave a dismissive wave of his hand. "We have a mutual friend."

"You actually have friends?" Sanji asked incredulously.

"Yes, I actually have friends," he sneered back, "I bet I have more friends than you do," Zoro challenged, he kind of doubted that Sanji actually had less friends than him, but the child inside him made him feel like he had to challenge Sanji on everything, or maybe that was just the testosterone. It was hard to say really.

Sanji was glaring at him with a considerable amount of malice. Oh dear, maybe he struck a nerve there.

"It's not my fault I suck at making friends," Sanji mumbled toward the floor.

"Are you admitting that I have more friends than you?" Zoro asked, gaping at the bartender. "How the fuck could you possibly have less friends than I do? You don't even know how many I have. It might just be one."

"I don't get out much, it's not my fault." He was rubbing nervously at the back of his neck.

"Are you saying that you don't have any friends?"

"I have friends," Sanji said defensively, "But they're mostly people I just grew up around and work with so they're more family than anything," he explained, rubbing the back of his neck.

"But still, no friends outside of that?"

"Uh, noteally. Do you find that surprising?"

"I guess no, seeing how dysfunctional you are," Zoro scoffed.

"I'm not dysfunctional!" Sanji cried in outrage.

"No, no, no, you're just really fucking weird. Same difference really." Zoro waved a hand in dismissal.

"Am I really that weird?" Sanji asked slightly self consciously.

"Yeah, but I've noticed that you are particularly weird when you are around me, not when you're talking to other people," the swordsman noted.

"You bring out the weird in me, stop doing that? I already need all the help I can get."

"If I'm doing something it's not on purpose, it's not my fault!"

"Well, it's not mine either. You can't blame someone for being weird."

"Yes, you can."

"If you're a fucking asshole you can but people who are considerate and kid can't. So you should be nicer to me," Sanji said with a little smile.

"No! I'm trying to get you to stay away from me, so go away," Zoro whined.

"Yeah, and you've done a great job of that so how about you just give it and give in to my questioning."

"Never. So long as I am still breathing I will never give in to your will."

"I will break your will with my sexy mind control," Sanji said making a very unsexy face.

Zoro nearly choked on his sake. "How the fuck can mind control be sexy!?" he demanded.

"When is mind control not sexy?" Sanji asked innocently, "I think we both know what would happen if someone acquired mind control," he raised his eyebrow suggestively, "My mind control would only be sexy in that I would mesmerize people with my stunning beauty."

"Yeah, well, when you say 'stunning beauty' you sound more like a Barbie princess than a sexy manipulater of minds."

"Shut up, don't ruin this fantasy for me. Having mind control would be awesome," he sighed.

"But wouldn't it get kind of boring getting everything you wanted without having to work for it?"

"I suppose that true," he sighed, "I though I told you not to ruin it for me."

"I will ruin all of your fantasies for you if you don't leave me alone. You'll be daydreaming and things will start to get awesome, then I will suddenly appear and bitch slap you straight to hell."

Sanji pondered this for a moment, "I don't think in comfortable with you being I all of my fantasies. That's a bit awkward, don't you think?"

"Don't think about it like that, it's only weird if you make it weird."

"That makes it seem even worse!"

"Well, if you don't like it then leave me to kill my liver in peace."

"As a bartender I feel it is my duty to lie to you and say that your liver will be fine, but as a human being I can't lie to you. You are going to murder your liver and die in a hospital somewhere."

"Hopefully by that time I will have accomplished all of my life goals. Then I can die happily waiting for a liver donor or something. I don't know how it works." All of his medical knowledge came from half listening to chopper ramble on about medical stuff. None of it really stuck.

"If you're really nice to me maybe I'd donate a piece of my liver," Sanji offered, although he doubted he could tolerate being in a hospital long enough to go through with the procedure. They'd have to put him under even before he was in the fucking building.

"I don't want your liver, I bet we aren't even compatible blood types or whatever shit you need."

"I don't know what the qualifications are but my blood type is O negative so you could have all my blood. We would be like blood brother so some shit." Sanji said, resting a had on the swordsman's arm just to be creepy.

"Ew, don't touch me. I don't want any of your stupid blood or your fucking liver pieces," Zoro said pulling away his arm in apparent disgust.

"What? It's not like I have cooties or something," Sanji said in offense.

"How do I know that, I don't know you well or close enough to assess whether or not you have acquired any form of lice."

"What?" Sanji's brow furrowed in confusion.

"The term cootie originated in trenches during World War One to describe lice," Zoro said with an uppity air.

"Oh, wow, mister fucking history over here. It's good to know that you don't just waste your brain. You look like the all brawn and no brain kind of guy."

"You don't look like you have either of those things," Zoro scoffed.

"Yeah, well what do you know anyway? I'm smart enough and I am physically fit so fuck you."

"Oh yeah, what was your ACT score?" Zoro asked.

"That doesn't mean jack shit and you know it! It's a bunch of standardized testing bullshit so that colleges can more easily pick out the 'best' students. Some people just aren't good at testing."

"You seem like you have a lot of pent up aggression about that," Zoro observed, taking in Sanji angry and slightly flushed face as evidence.

"I fucking do!"

"You must have gotten a bad score then."

"My score wasn't bad, but I guess it wasn't great either." Sanji said crossing his arms over his chest.

"Then what was it?"

"None of your fucking business, moss head."

"Tellme!"

"Ugh, fine it was a twenty six, don't fucking judge me," Sanji sighed, deflating slightly.

"Better than me, I got a twenty two."

"And I'm pretty sure that you didn't want to kill yourself over score, right?" Sanji asked in distaste.

"No, it was just some fucking stupid ass test, like you said. Why would it make you want to kill yourself?"

"I was exaggerating, idiot. I'm just high strung about that sort of thing." And high school hadn't been a particularly fun experience for him.

"Ugh, are you one of those neurotic, I have to do everything right, kind of people? What was your fucking grade point average?"

"Three point eight," the blond said shifting uncomfortably.

"You were totally a fucking try hard in high school," Zoro announced.

"No! Shut up! I was not."

"You totally were."

Sanji huffed, "Whatever, I don't care what you think anyway. I've only known you two days and my opinion if you is not especially high, I'll have you know."

"And yet you refuse to give in to my demand to be left alone!"

"It's a matter of principal," Sanji explained, "The less you want me here the more I want to annoy you."

"Fucking great, and I suck at acting so I guess I'm stuck with you until you get bored and start to annoy someone else."

"That's right. It's not all bad though, not even you can think so. You finished drinking your sake ten minutes ago and you haven't left yet so I can't be that annoying."

Zoro glanced down at his empty cup in shock, that was weird.

"Oh no, I've spoiled it," Sanji said sadly.

"I have to go." Zoro said quickly paying and rushing to stand up.

Sanji waved his hands back and forth like he was trying to halt Zoro's actions. "Noo, don't get all embarrassed we were having a good human conversation. I'm sorry I ruined it."

"I am leaving," Zoro said finally as he went to leave.

"Goodbye, marimo," Sanji called after him with as small smile turning up the corners of his lips. Zoro did not turn to say goodby, he walked straight out, embarrassed at his actions of the last ten minutes and more embarrassed that Sanji had noticed as well.

XxxX

A/N: I'm really excited about this one, you guys. It was originally supposed to take place in Massachusetts but then I realized that the midwest would be a better setting than the east coast, so now we're in Ohio. No one ever writes about Ohio so shout out to any Ohioans ; ) Forests and farmlands, am I right?

Thanks.