A Night Like This
Title: A Night Like This
Summary: The night brought solace to some, a reprieve from the stress of the day. To others, the night brought memories, twisted into dark dreams fueled by fear.
Disclaimer: I own nothing.
Pairings: Tauriel/Bard
Warnings: This is a hurt/comfort story, so anything associated with that. It also gets a little steamy towards the end, but nothing graphic.
Winter-Rae: Please don't get me wrong, I do enjoy Tauriel/Kili, but Tauriel/Bard just makes me so happy so I just had to write something for them. Please enjoy.
A Night Like This
Night had fallen over the now fully restored city of Dale.
The night watch men had taken their posts in the tall watchtowers, eyes and ears alert; while the humble townsfolk had settled in for a restful night of sleep. All through the town things were quiet, save for the occasion animal calling out into the night, but even that could not disturb the peace that had settled.
In the five years since Laketown had been destroyed, Dale had become a bustling city of trade, songs and most importantly; peace. Ever since the dragon had been killed many had come to settle in the city. Its constant growth gave the people living there even more reasons to be thankful. Not only did they have wealth, prosperity, and peace; but they had a wise and faithful man who served as their king.
Even on this night the home of the royal family had fallen silent. All, save for the guards, had taken to their beds for the evening. Well, not all exactly, as the beautiful elven-queen still moved through the halls. She was like a silent sentinel, pausing from time to time to make sure that all was well in her home.
Tauriel, former captain of the guard in Mirkwood, slowly made her way through the modest palace. Every night her routine consisted of checking in on her family and making sure that they were sleeping soundly before she would return to the room that she shared with her husband. Tauriel couldn't help but smile as she thought of the family she had gained when she married Bard. She felt lucky and so blessed to have them in her life; for they brought warmth that she hadn't even realized she was missing.
The first door she paused at was Sigrid's. The eldest girl was now a young woman and soon to be married to a knight in their service. Tauriel could still recall how cold Sigrid had been towards her when she first found out that Bard had intended to court the she-elf. It was understandable, as she didn't want anyone trying to take the place of her mother. Once Tauriel had made it clear that was not her intention the two of them formed a bond that was more of sisterhood, then that of a mother and daughter. But it was good enough for the both of them.
The girl was a restless sleeper and had managed to throw her blankest off of her sometime during the night. Tauriel was silent as she crossed the room and covered the girl with them once again. She tucked a strand of hair behind her ears, feeling nothing but fondness for her. She then made sure that the fireplace was well looked after before making her way to the next room.
Bain was probably the heaviest sleeper she had ever encountered. She could have fought off an orc right next to his bed and he would be none the wiser until the following morning. As next in line to be king of Dale, he worked a lot with his father, and with the army; getting to know what was expected of him once he grew old enough to take his father's place.
Bain was a bright and happy boy who had been unsure what to make of the elf when she had started coming around more. He wanted his father to be happy, but he confided to Tauriel that he didn't want to forget his mother. Tauriel, who had lost her entire family, could certainly empathize with the boy and confided to him that Bard kept his wife's memory alive just as she did with the ones that she had lost. Bain seemed to understand this and formed a very close friendship with Tauriel afterwards.
Her affection for the boy ran deep, as he looked so much like his father, the man that she had grown to love deeply and fiercely. She touched his head gently and then closed the windows, locking them as Bain always forgot to do so and ended up catching more chills then was necessary.
Her next stop was to check on Tilda, only to see that the little girl was still awake. She looked at Tauriel and a shy smile filled her face.
"Little star, why are you still awake?" the she-elf asked softly, sitting next to the girl and wrapping an arm around her shoulders. Tilda rested her head against her, "I was waiting for you so that I could say good night. Da said you wouldn't be home until after dark."
"That is true for I was walking in the forest."
Tilda nodded, knowing that her new mother had lived in the forest for her whole life and often would visit it when she felt homesick. She loved to hear the stories about Mirkwood and had begged her father to let her go with Tauriel on one of her adventures. Bard, who was always hesitant to let his children out of his sight for long periods of time, had thrown a look at his wife that asked her to explain why going into Mirkwood was not the best of ideas.
Tauriel had been honest, explaining that the forest had grown dark and sick, and was no place for little stars to be playing in. But she also made the promise that as soon as the forest was well again that she would take Tilda to see her former home. The little girl was content with that, for the time being.
"How did you know that I would come?" Tauriel asked her.
"You always do, you always check on us to make certain that we are safe," Tilda pointed out.
"Are you safe?"
"Yes, because I have you, and I have Da."
A smile filled Tauriel's face and she kissed the top of Tilda's head, "Have the sweetest of dreams, little star."
"Good night, mama."
Emotion overwhelmed the she-elf and she had to make a quick exit before Tilda saw the tears forming in her eyes. However, she didn't leave that fast as she still had to make sure that Tilda was settled in for the night; a glass of water at her bedside and a candle lit by the door so she could see if she needed to sneak into Sigrid's or their room after a nightmare.
Tauriel always found that she was never fully prepared for shows of affection from any of the children. She had always been content to just be a friend to them. Much to her surprise they had taken her in, in their own way, and it made her heart soar.
The first time Tilda had called her 'mother,' all of them had been so surprised that the little girl had thought she was in trouble. Her mother had passed on when she was only two years old, so she didn't remember her, except for what her family had told her. So when Tauriel had married her father she had been excited to finally have someone to call 'mother.'
Then there was the time that Bain had hugged her and kissed her cheek in farewell as he left with his father to meet with the dwarf king, Dain. Tauriel had been so shocked that she could only stare after them, and touch the spot that he had kissed. She had felt as if it was Bain's way of telling her that he was happy she and his father had found each other.
Finally, there was the day when Sigrid had sought her out for advice instead of her father. The knight she was going to marry had said something that had bothered her and she wasn't sure how to react. As it turned out it was a misunderstanding on both of their parts and thankfully Tauriel had told Sigrid to be patient, as her knight would realize his mistake and come to explain himself soon. Bard, on the other hand, wanted to chase the man down a stick a few arrows in him.
Each of those moments she had engraved into her memory and she knew that she would cherish these children as if they were her own, no matter what.
Now, it was time for her to retreat to her own room for the night, the room that she shared with her beloved husband. She found herself missing him, despite the fact that she had only been away for a few days; it always seemed much longer to her.
After stepping into their room and closing the door behind her she smiled at the sleeping form of Bard. He was on his back, with one arm draped across his stomach and the other resting at his side. She stepped towards him and was content to watch him for a moment as he slept.
He looked at peace, the steady rise and fall of his chest was soothing to her, as it meant that he was resting well. Ever since becoming King of Dale the amount of responsibilities he had gained seemed to weigh on his shoulders heavily. Being his queen, she helped him as much and as often as she could. The fact that she was also a warrior helped a great deal as well because she was often the one who was out in the field with their men.
In the end she was glad that she had decided to remain in Dale after the battle of the five armies, because as it turned out, it was where she was always meant to be.
The way she fell in love with Bard had been vastly different from how she had fallen in love with Kili. With Kili it had been almost instant, love at first sight in a way. But with Bard, it had been slow, gradual and then almost surprising to realize what had blossomed between them. He had been a friend to her first and then had become the man that she always wanted to be with.
After the battle she had drifted through the city and helped the wounded when she could. However, her good deeds were never enough to stamp out the bitterness of Kili's loss, and she had longed to simply fade away. Bard had come across her in her grief and he offered her words of kindness as well as a shoulder to catch her tears. He spoke to her of how he had dealt with his own pain after his wife had died and Tauriel found in him a kindred spirit; which had been the greatest comfort of all.
Over the years of rebuilding and establishing trade routes and treaties with the dwarves in Erebor and the elves in Mirkwood, she and Bard had formed a very strong friendship and they would often seek each other out in times of loneliness. She would find him in the evening, with two saddled horses and the two of them would ride together; the responsibilities of their lives melting away if only for those few short hours. Then he would come to her and they would spar together, with only the stars and the moon to witness who won.
Then came the day when Bard was named the King of Dale, due to his bravery during the dragon's attack; among his other fine qualities. When he became king he had asked her to remain in Dale as an advisor for him and an ambassador for the elves. While she had been hesitant, as it meant that she would possibly have to deal with Thranduil; she found that she did not want to be far from Bard and the children as she had grown very fond of them. So she remained.
It had taken three years to rebuild Dale, and then it was a year that she had provided her services for the king. In those four years she found that her pain was lessening and something else was replacing it; peace. Apparently Bard had noticed this as well because he had approached her one morning carrying a long wrapped package. He offered it to her and she noticed how his cheeks had turned bright pink as he tried to explain the meaning of the gift. Inside was a beautifully crafted longbow made of yew, along with a brand new quiver filled with lethal and strong looking arrows. She could tell right away that the hands of the elves had made these items, the runes and artistic designs gave them away. Then he handed her a leather belt with two finely crafted daggers; sharp and perfectly balanced.
"Normally gifts of jewellery are preferred by women when they are being courted," he explained to her, still flushing, "But I've always been a practical man, and you have always struck me as a practical woman. If these gifts offend you or if you do not feel the same please tell me now and I will never speak of the matter again."
"You wish to court me?" Tauriel asked, unable to hold back the surprise in her voice.
"Why are you surprised?" he asked her, "Yes, you have been my friend, but along the way I found myself feeling for you what I never thought I would feel again. I know that elves do not give their hearts away easily, and yours has been broken in the past. But my heart now belongs to you and I hope to make you as happy as you have made me."
She stared at him and searched her feelings, wanting to be completely honest with him. It was then that she realized that while she had begun to fill the empty space in his heart, he had been the balm that had healed her own. She reached out to him then and placed her hand over his chest, feeling his heart beat under her fingers.
"Meleth nin," she said softly, looking up into his eyes, "I cannot give what you already own."
They were married six months later.
She smiled fondly at the memory and thought of how he had been so nervous on their wedding night, knowing that this was going to be the first time she had ever been with anyone. Her people took intimacy very seriously and often waited until they found 'the one.' Bard was that person for her and she loved him with every fibre of her being.
She leaned over him and kissed his lips, ever so lightly, while he slept.
"I love you," she whispered. Instead of joining him in bed just yet, she took the time to sit by the window and gaze out at the star filled sky. When choosing their room Bard had insisted on picking one that had large windows, such as the ones she now gazed through. He then further spoiled her by fashioning a large and cushioned seating area where she could enjoy the sight for hours if she so decided. The sky was completely open to her and she found herself lost in the peace and quiet of the evening.
It was broken however, by a rustling of blankets which drew her attention away from the night sky and towards their bed. Her husband was tossing about restlessly, a look of distress on his face. He cried out in the night, unable to awaken. Tauriel was on her feet and at his side not a moment after that, placing one hand on his chest and the other against his cheek. He seemed to shy away from her touch, which told her how deep he was in his nightmares. It was going to be a difficult and long night for the both of them.
According to Bard the nightmares had started after the battle, when he was finally able to catch his breath and found some shelter for him and his family to sleep. He had woken a few hours later drenched in a cold sweat and in a panic, thinking that they were still in danger. It had taken him a long while to calm himself enough to remember that they were safe. Thankfully he hadn't woken any of the children; the last thing he wanted was for them to see their father like that.
Ever since then, the terrifying visions would haunt his dreams at least twice during the week. In Tauriel's opinion twice was more than enough. She hated seeing the man she loved in such a state and it tore at her heart to know that she could not wake him instantly. The first time she had tried that he lashed out at her, thinking he was in danger. He hadn't hurt her in a physical sense, only frightened her, but the thought that he might hurt her during one of these nights troubled him deeply.
So, instead of shaking his shoulders roughly, she had to very calmly and slowly help him ease his way back to consciousness.
"Bard," her voice was quiet as she ran her fingers along his face, "You are safe, I am with you."
A strangled cry escaped his lips and the very sound sent a jolt through her heart, it was almost as if he was in pain.
"You are home, with your family," she went on, "We are all well, wake up."
A tremor went through his entire body and his struggling started to ease.
"Meleth nin," she called softly to him, in an attempt to calm his mind and draw him away from the terror he was obviously facing, "Awaken, let not these dark visions keep you from me."
Her voice seemed to pierce the darkness and he sat up, his eyes darting about the room as if expecting some hidden foe to attack them. His eyes then settled on her and the breath he had been holding escaped his lungs and he gasped for fresh air. She moved to leave his side, to fill a glass with water for him to drink when his hand reached out and grasped her arm, "No," he rasped, "Don't leave. Stay with me."
His eyes where still unfocused, he was not yet fully awake, the remnants of the dream still clinging to him. She remained at his side; touching his face and whispering soft words in her native tongue in the hopes that they would help to lift the veil that shrouded him. He seemed to hear her, which brought some comfort, as there had been some nights were he would get up and flee their room without ever noticing that she was calling for him. Those nights were rare, and she was thankful for that.
Slowly his eyes cleared and he was able to focus on her, suddenly aware that he was gripping to her arm in such a way that some would consider it painful.
"Tauriel?" he said softly, his hold on her relaxing.
"Yes, Bard," she replied soothingly, "I am here."
"Did I hurt you?" he asked; his voice shaking at what the answer might be. She offered him a sad smile and shook her head, "No, of course not."
His fingers brushed against her cheek, "I'd never forgive myself."
"You know as well as I that you are not always in control," she replied, "It would not be your fault."
He tossed the blankets aside and got to his feet, pacing the room in an attempt to further calm himself. Tauriel watched him until she could no longer allow him to silently berate himself. She stood in front of him and he cast his glance away from her, unable to look his beautiful wife in the eye for the shame he felt for letting these dreams haunt him so.
"Do not hide yourself from me," she begged, "You are not alone in this."
She took his face in her hands and kissed his lips. He was hesitant at first, pulling back to look at her, as if to make certain that she was really there. He held her gaze and then kissed her gently, wrapping his arms around her so that he could pull her close. She didn't deny him the comfort he sought and brought her arms around his neck, running her fingers through his hair.
"Do you wish to speak of it?" she asked, her voice was laced with concern but also understanding that talking wouldn't always help him.
"It is always the same," he replied, "Fire and death, the only thing that changes is the faces that I see burning."
Even though Smaug was dead and gone, many people could still feel the pain and terror he had caused them as if it were yesterday. None held that terror so close as Bard, who had faced down the beast and managed to kill it. While he was one of the strongest men that Tauriel had ever met, she could still understand why he was so bothered by that night; the night his people had lost their homes and nearly their lives and the lives of their families.
"What do you need?" she asked him, "Tell me and I will see it done."
"My beautiful wife, I need you here with me, as always," he replied, "I don't mean to worry you with this, but as long as I wake up to your face I will be alright."
"Ever will I be at your side, meleth," Tauriel said, "Come, the stars are bright tonight. Watch them with me awhile."
She held onto his hand and he let her lead him towards the window. He stood behind her, wrapping his arms around her so he could hold her. She sighed and melted into his touch, content to be in his arms. Bard glanced out of the window and had to agree, the stars seemed brighter tonight. He pressed a kiss to her temple, "Dance with me."
His voice sent shivers down Tauriel's spine and brought a smile to her face. She turned to face him and found that he was completely serious. She laughed, "Right now?"
"No time like the present," he replied, holding out his hand to her. She slipped hers into his and he squeezed it gently.
"We have no music," she pointed out. That didn't deter him in the slightest, "Sing for me then."
A blush lit up the very tips of her ears and then spread across her cheeks, "I cannot sing and you know it."
"Your laughter is music to me," he told her.
"Now you're flattering me."
"Not at all my lady wife," he said with a grin, "Flattery implies that I don't mean what I say, when in fact I mean every word."
He then bowed and waited for her to return the gesture. She curtseyed before him and he couldn't help but grin. She had never really managed to pull it off with the grace that the elves were known for. Her excuse was that she was no lady, just a warrior and the ways of being a proper lady of the court had never been shown to her.
She then stepped towards him and placed one hand on his shoulder, while his rested on her hip. Their free hands joined and soon they were waltzing together as the stars and moon shone upon them. Tauriel stared at Bard and felt her heart start to beat rapidly in her chest, it was always the same whenever they were close together like this; all she was aware of was the love and passion between them. His gaze met hers and it was as if the world melted away, leaving just the two of them. He pulled her closer and kissed her deeply. Soon the dancing stopped as they swayed in each other's arms, kissing one another until the need for oxygen became too great.
"Thief," she whispered, as he rested his forehead against hers, "You steal my breath away."
"Shall I beg for your forgiveness?"
"No…do it again."
He obliged her; wrapping his arms around her slender form and picking her up so he could set her on their bed. All the while her lips never left his, or if they did they merely moved to other areas of his face before returning to their initial mark. There was a rushed intensity between them as their fingers worked to remove their clothing; their desire to feel each other's skin becoming the only thing that seemed to matter.
Tauriel spoke in heated Sindarin as Bard's hands ran over her body. He could only make out a few words at a time and even those only made him want her more. 'My love.' 'Join with me, now.' 'I am yours.' She clung tightly to him, as if he was the only thing anchoring her to this world.
They made love until the memory of the nightmare faded from Bard's mind and all that remained was the intense afterglow of their passion. Bard turned on his side to face Tauriel, his face was flushed and he started to feel sleep inch its way closer to him, however he wanted to see the content and peaceful expression on her face. She gazed at him and smiled, "Are you happy?"
He was taken aback by her question, "Of course I am, why do you ask?"
"Because I am so happy, and I want you to be too," she replied. He kissed her forehead, "Yes, my love, I am very happy. I have everything I could ever need."
Another smile filled her face, this one seemed to come after she just realized something and he waited for her to explain.
"Over six hundred years I have lived, searching for my place in a world that I did not think would miss me if I was gone," she explained, " But I know now, without a doubt, that it was you I was looking for."
The joy in her eyes, the contentment and peace was almost overwhelming for him. Bard moved closer to her and they laced their fingers together.
"All the pain in the past was worth it," he told her, "For it led me to you."
They held each other's gaze until Bard slowly drifted off. Tauriel remained awake, not needing sleep as humans did, but she reveled in the memories that they had made together. Whatever the hardship, whatever the struggle; together they would endure.
Winter-Rae: This went in so many directions that I didn't plan on. I hope you all enjoyed it. Please let me know what you thought, hopefully I will be able to write more for these two soon. Cheers!