Helga certainly isn't shy about her middle initial, even if she never says what it stands for when introducing herself. I imagined she'd never just straight up tell Arnold what it was. She'd make him work for it.

On a typical fall day in Hillwood, a pair of tween kids took a leisurely stroll through the park. Aimlessly wandering nowhere they marveled at the fall colors while chatting of this and that. The boy, Arnold however had a question nagging at him. He had learned many things about Helga G. Pataki over the last few months since the two of them had become something of a couple, and yet one thing about her still peaked his curiosity. The two of them came across a bench and sat down to rest their legs for a while. Helga stared off into space with a dreamily contented look on her face, something quite rare for one normally so feisty.

"Helga?" Arnold asked quietly.

"Yes dear?" she sighed.

"Well, this is gonna seem out of the blue but… there's… there's something I've been wanting to ask you."

Helga snapped her head in his direction and instantly jumped to conclusions as only she knew how to. In her mind her imagination ran wild with passionate and unfounded assumptions.

Perchance has the day at last come? At last has my most coveted girlhood fantasy that has preyed upon my mind since the day we met arrived? Oh Arnold… ready to at last take the next step on this road of love we tread? I see the question in your eyes before it forms upon your lips, and to you now I say yes! Yes! Yes! I will be Mrs. Arnold Shortman to your Mr. Helga G. Pataki… oh joyous rapture, oh be still my trembling gir-

"Helga?" Arnold snapped her back to reality.

"Uh… what?" Helga asked in a daze.

"You were doing that thing again, where your eyes glaze over and you just smile inanely…" Arnold said.

"You had a question?" she asked, "Whatever could that be…?"

"Well, I've known you for so long and I've just always been afraid to ask but… but…"

Oh my gosh… is he? Yes… yes he's going to do it… Arnold is going to ask for my hand in holy matrimony! Oh joyous day! A little earlier than I expected but whatever! Oh blessed moment that I shall cherish from now until the end of-

"I've just been wondering but, what's the G stand for?"

Helga could swear she heard the sound of a record scratching as her brow furrowed.

"What… did you… say?" she hissed.

"Well, you know my middle name is Phillip, and I don't think you've ever told me what your middle initial stands for…"

"That information comes at a terrible price, short man." she warned.

"Oh come on, if you don't want people to know so badly how come you always refer to yourself as Helga G. Pataki?"

Helga's face sunk and she muttered, "Curse my indiscretion…"

"So…?" Arnold goaded.

Helga figured she'd have to tell him eventually if she ever did attain her dreams of marrying the boy someday. Still, she couldn't just make it easy. She decided she'd go about this as she did with everything in life; needlessly dramatically.

"Alright… how about this? I'll let you guess." Helga said with a smirk.

"Guess?" Arnold asked, "I have to think of every girl name I can think of that starts with a G?"

"There can't be that many…" Helga chided.

Arnold sighed and took his first guess, "Alright… Gertrude?"

"That's your first guess? Your grandma's name?" Helga shouted.

"It was just the first thing that popped into my head… "

"Your instincts never were the best. You might as well have guessed 'grandma.'"

"Okay then, is it… Greta?"

"Uh uh."

"Um, Gretchen? "

"Nope."

"Ginger?"

"Nyet."

"Gretel?"

"Nein."

"Okay, how about… Georgia?"

"Negative."

"Guinevere?"

"I wish. Guess again, King Arthur."

"Glinda?"

"Oh come on, you can do better than that."

"Um, is it Grace?"

"Sure, that would've been nice…"

"So, no? Okay… Gracie?

"That's like… the same name…"

"Gabrielle?"

"Nah."

"Gina?"

"Nope."

"Gwendolyn?"

"Psh."

"Giselle?"

"What?"

"Gail?"

"There are way more G names than I thought there were… and no."

"Gillian?"

"Does that even start with a G? I guess it does, huh."

"Gemma?"

"No… "

Helga was starting to sound bored with her own little game now, but Arnold never knowing when to give up kept on guessing.

"Gladys?" he asked.

"What is this? The 20s?" Helga groaned.

"Glenn?"

"Close… actually no that's not close at all, just uh… the actress Glenn Close… get it? Ha ha…"

"Gloria?"

"NO!" Helga abruptly shouted, "NOT FREAKING GLORIA!"

Arnold recoiled and gasped, "Gah!"

Helga laughed, "Yep. You got it. Gah. Helga Gah Pataki. My parents cared that much."

"Ugh… well, I don't think I can think of any more. Can you just tell me?"

"Nope." Helga crossed her arms, closed her eyes and smiled tauntingly.

"Oh come on, after all that?" Arnold pleaded, "Helga, how bad could it be?"

Amused by his persistent insistence Helga smiled and decided she'd had enough. If she didn't tell him he'd probably keep guessing forever. And knowing Arnold he'd probably never get it right.

"Alright, fine." Helga said cryptically, "Think along the lines of your best buddy…"

"What? What does Gerald have to do with… oh…" Arnold at last started to put the pieces together, "Wait… is it…"

"I don't know. Is it?" Helga said coyly.

"… Geraldine?" Arnold asked as he pointed at her.

Helga said nothing but smiled smugly.

"That's it? Helga Geraldine Pataki?" Arnold asked.

"Yep. It's a mouthful." Helga said, as she gently cupped his chin and smiled in a rather threatening manner. "And are we going to tell that to the world now?" she asked.

"Nope. Now that I know it'll be my little secret with you." Arnold said.

"Very good, darling." Helga said as she raised her fist, "Because as you know, I've come a long way with my anger issues, but Old Betsy here? She still gets angry just like that. I tell her not to but… she's got a mind of her own." She snapped her fingers close to Arnold's face. "Get the picture?"

"Loud and clear, dear." Arnold smiled knowingly. Helga made frequent threats of violence, but he knew her well enough to know they were empty. They didn't stop him from respecting her wishes of course. Helga reaffirmed their true feelings for one another and wrapped her arms around him.

"Obviously my middle name is after Grandpa," Arnold said, "How about yours?"
"Oh no," Helga said, "That's enough secrets outta me for one day. Gotta save some or we'll be bored with each other before we get… well, never mind."

The End

Fun fact: For those who don't know (I assume you all do if you're writing HA! fanfiction), Helga's middle name was in honor of Geraldine Laybourne, the former president of Nickelodeon. When Craig Bartlett first began developing the series he was apparently concerned Helga might be a little too weird or potentially offensive, but she apparently loved Helga's character so much she told him, "Look, I was Helga at that age."