Pike walked down Discovery's corridor that little bit taller. Captains' tended to be self-assured and confident; it came with sitting in THAT chair. It came with a life-long career of responsibility and leading a crew into the unknown. It was the crew that became his friends, and turned into his family. He'd never let them down, he'd defend them with his last breath. He knew that about himself.
Still, being called 'the best of Starfleet' had taken his breath away. It had stopped him in his tracks. He'd wanted to diffuse the situation with a joke, dismiss it with the wave of a hand but instead he accepted the compliment. It seems it had achieved the desired effect. The crew of the Discovery had accepted him pretty quickly, considering what they'd all been through… and he was there on a temporary assignment… but at the end of the day, he was only human. He enjoyed seeing the pride in their eyes, the growing trust and belief that their values, the reasons they joined Starfleet were reflected back to them in their Captain. He could accept the compliment on their behalf.
It was a small victory, a small step in the right direction. He missed Enterprise and felt guilty for being away, but Discovery was quickly becoming just as important to him. He'd read up about the crew, as he needed to know what he was letting himself in for… none of the records had prepared him for Saru's unique evolution, Burnham's barely-supressed emotions, Tilly's exuberant attitude or Tyler's effect on them all. This bridge crew was just as skilled as Enterprise's and just as complex.
Detmer was an outstanding pilot and he could see she shared his sense of humour. Her eyes sparkled when presented with a challenge and he could practically hear her thoughts as they formed. She reminded him so much of his early days in Starfleet, though lately he had trouble believing he was ever that young. Somewhere along the line his hair had turned grey… but at least he still had some hair left.
Burnham had saved his life barely a few hours after meeting him. Adrenaline had been pumping but he still heard her voice saying, 'Discovery has you, Captain.' Since then, she had challenged and supported him in equal measure, much like her brother. Yet, he'd been taken by surprise by Tyler's confession of an emotional attachment with Burnham.
Pike had always been good at spotting links between people, picking up on tell-tale signs his officers subconsciously let slip… this one had escaped his notice and he had to fight back a twinge of jealousy. He hadn't had the time to dissect where the jealousy originated but he suspected it was linked to Burnham. The woman had a way of getting under your skin without you even noticing. The crew looked to her as their moral compass; Saru and Tilly seemed to be her closest friends – they brought out her warmth and humanity, and it was beautiful to watch.
He honestly hadn't minded when his private file flashed up for everyone to see on the bridge. He'd seen their files, their secrets (well, the ones Starfleet thought were relevant) and it only seemed fair. Nothing in his past seemed as painful and personal as listening to your parents being murdered or leaving your whole civilisation behind, knowing you couldn't return.
Then there was Tilly: so young, irrepressible and smart. He'd made her laugh; it had been his first small victory. She was like a force of nature; a whirlwind that drew you in, despite the danger you might be swept away. She made him smile and he liked her, pure and simple.
Pike didn't know how to do things by half… when he committed to something, he committed fully… and it was going to hurt to leave this crew, he knew it. But there was still work to be done, he wasn't finished yet. His reflective walk through the ship had led him to engineering and the one person he was most worried about at that particular moment, Stamets.
'Captain…?' Stamets muttered, as he looked up from a screen. It came across as half-question, half-greeting and the pain oozed from every fibre of his being. He had a sad smile on his face as he took in Pike's concerned expression. It was one he'd seen numerous times on his colleagues' faces since Hugh's death. Starfleet had not prepared him for this.