'Of Diaper Changes and Smart Ass Boyfriends'
Pairing: Noah Puckerman / Finn Hudson, Blaine Anderson / Kurt Hummel, But & Carole
Rating: NC-17
Genre(s): Smut, Humor and...Smut.
Word Count: 3217
Warnings: Language, Slash, Slight OOCness
Summary: Written in the same universe as my Klaine fic, 'Don't You Want Me...Baby?'
A/N: B/c I haven't written actual Fuck yet. ;)
1/1
Noah Puckerman was not a chick. No matter what Finn said or claimed when he had his dick shoved up his ass, Noah Puckerman was not a chick.
"Shit, fuck!" Puck cursed, his face pressed into a pillow to muffle his voice.
"Such a little cockslut." Finn teased, thrusting into his lover harder, faster.
"Bite me, Hudson!" Puck snapped, lifting his head up and throwing a glare over his shoulder.
Finn chuckled, his eyes narrowed as he continued to smirk and push harder into Puck. Puck, the total bottom-boy. Puck, his lover of nearly five months. Puck, his wanton little whore.
Puck groaned, his eyes nearly rolling into the back of his head when Finn's cock brushed against his prostate. Okay, so maybe he was a chick. Not that he'd ever admit to it but as long as Finn kept fucking him like he was doing right that very instant, Puck didn't care what he was.
"Almost, almost-ahh!" Finn gasped, his hips snapping forward harder than ever as he came, his orgasm intense.
Puck groaned and tightened his grip on the bed sheets beneath him, fight back the urge to scream when his orgasm ripped through him.
Completely covered in spit, sweat and cum, Finn collapsed down on top of Puck, both boys letting out a rather undignified 'oomph' as the air was nearly knocked out of their lungs.
"Mother fucker, Finn!" Puck exclaimed as he tried, and failed, to roll his boyfriend off of him.
Finn chuckled and rolled off the shorter boy.
"You. Are an ass, Finn Hudson." Puck grumbled, finally able to roll over and breathe again.
"And you, Noah Puckerman, love every minute of it." Finn said, this time outright laughing.
Puck rolled his eyes and sat up, looking around for anything that he could use to wipe the drying cum from his chest and stomach. Grinning, he grabbed Finn's shirt.
"Oh, gross, dude!" Finn yelled. "Not my shirt!"
"Sucks to be you, dude." Puck smirked, throwing the now soiled shirt back to the floor.
"Boys?" Carole's muffled voice came through the door following a soft knock. "You awake?"
Finn's eyes widened to a comical state and really, Puck just had to grin.
"Uh, yeah mom." Finn answered, his voice shaking.
"Listen, can you both please come down to the kitchen? I have something I need to tell you, well, show you and a favor to ask of you both." Carole asked, her voice sounding far to soft to just be muffled by the door.
"Yeah, mom. Be right down." Finn said in a hurry and quickly breathed a sigh of relief when he heard his mothers retreating footsteps.
"It would just be easier to tell her, ya know." Puck said, standing up and pulling on a pair of sweat pants.
"Tell my mom I'm bi and that I have a boyfriend all in one go?" Finn's eyes widened once again. "No, dude. No way."
"You're scared of your mom?" Puck snickered.
"More like terrified of Burt finding out and not letting my hot ass boyfriend sleep over anymore." Finn quickly turned the tables on his lover, smirking when Puck's face paled slightly at the mention of his step-dad.
"Damn." Puck muttered. "You're right. No use telling them and ruining a good thing."
Finn chuckled as he pulled on a clean shirt and a fresh pair of boxers. Realizing just how early it actually was, Finn groaned as he and Puck made their way down the stairs in search of his mother. Damn his boyfriend for being so horny.
"Mom? Hey, mom, what did you-" Finn stopped, dead in his tracks as his eyes landed on his mother, her arms full of, well. "W-where did you get that?" Finn stuttered.
"Oh, honestly." Carole rolled her eyes at her son.
"No, mom. I don't remember a-a baby in the house when we went to bed. So seriously, where did it come from?" Finn's eyes widened as he stepped closer to said baby, Puck right beside of him.
"Dude, it looks like-" Puck started, trailing off.
"First off, boys, he's not an 'it'. He's a he and his name is Samuel." Carole smiled as she continued to rock the small boy in her arms.
"So like, did you and Burt, um, adopt it-him or something?" Finn stuttered and stumbled over his words, his eyes never leaving the baby his mother was holding.
Carole sighed because really, Finn? Really?
"Blaine showed up around midnight last night. It seems he and, oh Finn I'm sorry to tell you this but, it seems that Blaine and Rachel had one drunken night together and well, surprise." Carole forced a chuckle. "Or not really because poor Blaine is terrified now, not knowing how to care for a child."
Puck's mouth dropped open. Finn copied his lover, mouth wide and eyes tripled in size.
"Blaine? And Rachel? And, oh my god." Finn whispered, his eyes not nearly as wide anymore. "So, this is why she left?"
"Seems that way. As of last night though, Blaine is the sole guardian of Samuel now and-"
"Wait, what?" Puck asked, confused.
"It seems Ms. Berry isn't ready for motherhood." Carole sighed. "She dropped the baby off with Blaine and left, again."
"Fuck." Puck muttered, wincing slightly from the glare he received from Finn's mom. "Uh, crap?" He tried again and breathed easier when Carole smiled.
"Anyway, boys. I need a favor and since I'm letting Blaine sleep in and Burt is still out of it after a night with a baby for the first time in years, I need you two to watch him while I make a run to the store."
"What? Mom, no! I don't-" Finn started, waving his arms around the baby in his moms arms.
"Finn Hudson, you will help me out for the time being. Its not like you boys are busy at the moment and poor Blaine is exhausted." Carole's raised eyebrow dared him to do anything but comply.
"No problem, Mrs. H. We got this." Puck said, a smirk on his face. "I took care of Sarah most nights when mom worked so its no problem."
"Such a good boy, Noah." Carole cooed as she carefully placed the sleeping baby into the teenagers arms.
Puck grinned at Finn as he tossed him a subtle wink.
"Now, I'm not sure how long I'll be gone exactly but if you need anything, wake Burt. Let's leave Blaine and Kurt alone as long as we can." Carole smiled as she smoothed the soft patch of hair down on Samuel's head.
"Uh, yeah mom. Sure." Finn said, still eyeing the small bundle in his boyfriends arms.
"Oh and while I'm thinking about it," Carole started. "From now on, when Noah sleeps over, the door stays open. Am I understood, boys?"
Finn's mouth dropped open, right along with Puck's as they stared at the grinning woman in front of them.
"Mom, what?" Finn tried, but failed, to sound innocent.
"I am not that old and you are not that subtle." Carole chuckled as she patted her sons face.
"Mom, we-" Finn started, his eyes darting to Puck for any help.
"Later, Finn. We'll talk about this later but, I wish I could say its a surprise. But no, its really not. You and Noah always were inseparable."
Puck could feel his cheeks flushing at Carole's words.
"Anyway," Carole started. "He'll probably need a diaper change before I get back and a bottle. Most definitely a bottle. And like I said, if you need any help, wake Burt. If not, I'll be back as soon as I can."
"Where, uh, where exactly are you going?" Finn asked, suddenly a lot closer to Puck than he was before.
"This little one needs clothes, and more diapers and formula and goodness, just about everything! I'm off to babies-r-us! Behave, boys." Carole laughed as she grabbed her purse and headed for the door.
"Dude, your mom-" Puck started.
"-is totally awesome." Finn finished.
Of course the second the front door closed and Samuel realized he was in someone else's arms, the whimpering started.
"Dude. No." Puck's eyes widened. "He's, oh god, what do we do?" Puck asked, his voice full of panic.
"What? I don't know! You're the one that told my mom we had this!" Finn's eyes grew large, yet again, as he looked down to see the baby beginning to squirm.
"Well, I lied." Puck snapped. "I was trying to make a good impression on your mom."
"You were?" Finn's eyes softened. "That's sweet but, uh, crying baby!"
"Um, wait! Food! You're mom said he might need feeding, right? So, well, get him some food!" Puck exclaimed.
"Right, okay. Food. Um, a bottle, right? Because he's like, way to little to eat a waffle or anything."
Puck sighed and rolled his eyes.
"Yes, Finn. A bottle. Look, I know how to make a bottle, at least, so I'll walk you through it."
The next five minutes or so were spent with Samuel's cries getting louder, Puck barking orders at his doofus of a boyfriend and Finn tripping all over himself to make said bottle.
"Okay, now test it." Puck said and nearly dropped the baby when Finn raised the bottle up to his lips. "Finn! No!"
Finn paused, the baby bottle halfway to his lips.
"What? You said to test it." Finn practically pouted.
"Oh my god, I'm dating a moron. No, idiot, you test the temperature but squeezing some of it onto your wrist or arm. Ya know, make sure its not too hot or anything."
"Gotcha." Squeezing some of the milk out onto his arm, Finn smiled. "Feels alright to me."
Puck sighed.
"Okay then, give it here." Pressing the nipple of the bottle against the now full on crying babies lips, Puck growled in frustration when he wouldn't open his mouth.
"I don't think we're doing it right!" Finn's eyes were wide as he looked between Puck and the crying baby.
"Dude, its a baby, how hard can it be a feed it?" Puck scoffed, pressing the tip once again against Samuel's lips.
"Maybe he's wet?" Finn offered. "Mom did say he might need to be changed."
Puck took an involuntary step back.
"No way, dude. I did not sign up for that."
Finn smirked.
"So the great Puckzilla is scared of a little babies diaper? Oh, this is good."
Glaring at his friend, Puck sat the bottle down on the table and shifted the baby around in his arms before placing him down into the carrier on top of the table.
"Uh, you check." Puck said, his eyes slightly wide.
Leaning down, Finn sniffed.
"Oh, god." Finn winced. "Yeah, he needs to be changed. Cheesus, what are we feeding him?"
Puck shook his head, holding his breath as much as he could.
"Grab the damn diaper bag, dude! Hurry!"
"Okay um, diaper? Got it, I've got the diaper. Um and wipes, right? Anything else?" Finn asked.
Puck just glared.
"How the hell should I know?" Back with Samuel in his arms, Puck looked down at the screaming baby, wincing slightly. "Okay dude, calm the fu-uh crap down. We're tryin' here." He mumbled.
Fumbling around with the diapers and wipes, Finn dropped it all down onto the table before looking up at Puck.
"Dude, you might wanna put a blanket or something down. We like, eat on this table and shit." Puck said, smirking as Finn did as he was told. He enjoyed when the other boy took instruction well.
"Okay, blanket, check. Now um, lay him down?" Finn asked more than told.
Puck sighed and rolled his eyes but laid the screaming baby down onto the blanket.
"Okay then, get to it." Puck said, looking to Finn and moving out of the way.
"What? No way, man. No freaking way! I have no experience with this kinda thing so uh, you do it." Moving to stand as far away from the baby as possible, Finn just smiled and hoped Puck didn't kill him for this.
"You owe me." Puck grumbled but set about removing the dirty diaper. "Oh, god." Gagging, Puck quickly rolled it up and moved it out of the way. "Wipes! I need wipes!"
Finn jumped to it and began pulling wipes from their cute little Winnie the Pooh container.
"Never again. Never freaking again." Puck continued to mumble, all the while cleaning the still screaming babies bottom. "Diaper, Finn. I need a diaper too!"
Shoving a Winnie the Pooh diaper, and yeah even Finn saw the running theme with the talking stuffed animal, into Puck's hands he breathed a small sigh of relief. Of course, it was a little premature seeing as Blaine's kid apparently needed to potty...again.
"HUDSON!" Puck screamed, a drizzle of pee running down his face.
"I am so, so sorry!" Finn said, laughing harder than he could ever remember laughing.
Reaching for a few more clean wipes, Finn quickly began to clean the pee from his lovers face, all the while still chuckling.
"I really am sorry." Finn whispered, one of his hands placed sweetly on Puck's cheek.
Puck just huffed out a breath of annoyance.
"How can I make it up to you?" Finn asked, stepping closer to the other boy, a grin on his face.
"You can shut up and kiss me even though I've got piss on my face." Puck said, smirking as he gripped Finn's shirt and yanked him into him.
Finn grinned wide because oh yeah, he could totally do that. Leaning forward, Finn pressed his lips against Puck's in what he'd planned to be a chaste kiss. Puck, it seemed, had other plans when he quickly and easily deepened the kiss.
"Boys!" Burt snapped, making his presence know as he stepped into the kitchen. "You can not just leave a baby unattended like that! What if he'd rolled off the table?"
Finn and Puck jumped apart as if they'd been burned, both of their faces flushed red.
"Burt, we-" Finn started but Kurt walking into the room stopped him.
"Dad, stop it." Kurt said, yawning as he leaned up to kiss Blaine before turning and reaching for Samuel.
"Morning," Kurt said, passing Sam into Blaine's arms.
"Morning," Blaine said back, arranging his son in his arms.
"Is there coffee?" Kurt asked, stepping in-between Finn and Puck.
"Doesn't look that way, kid," Burt said, looking towards the empty coffee pot. "Either there was and we missed it or Carole forgot to make any before she left for the store this morning."
"Store?" Kurt asked, yawning again.
"She said something about a babies-r-us when she was running out the door this morning. I don't know what that is but it was way to early to be shopping, s'all I know." Burt grumbled as he set about making his much needed coffee.
Kurt perked up at his father's words, a huge smile on his face as he looked towards Blaine.
"Oh my god, Blaine! We'll get to play dress-up with him when Carole gets home!" Kurt exclaimed.
"Dude." Puck winced. "He's a boy. Boys don't play dress up. S'not right."
Finn almost laughed out loud at the appalled look on his step brothers face. Almost.
"And what is wrong with dressing a little boy up in pretty little outfits, Puckerman?" Kurt glared at the other boy.
"Its a little gay, Hummel," Puck snorted, rolling his eyes.
"This from the boy who had his tongue in Finn's mouth just minutes ago?" Blaine spoke up, cutting off whatever it was Kurt was about to say.
Finn, for whatever reason, just smirked.
"WHAT?" Kurt yelled, jumping from where he'd sat himself at the kitchen table.
"Damn it." Puck muttered.
"Oh, no, Puckerman. You've got some explaining to do. Starting, now!" Kurt snapped.
"Nothing to explain really," Finn said, his arms resting on Puck's shoulders.
"Yeah, dude. Nothing to explain. I mean, I'm a sex shark and the ladies just weren't cutting it for me anymore and-ow!" Puck winced at the unexpected smack Finn landed on the back of his head.
"We've been together for almost five months now. I'm bi, um, as is Puck from what he just said. Mom knows, or she does as of this morning. We're kinda dating, um boyfriends I guess. Oh, and Puck is totally my little bitch." Smirking, Finn ducked out of the way before Puck could smack him.
"Bite me, Hudson, you little fucker!" Taking off after Finn, the two boys ran from the kitchen.
"Language, Puckerman!" Burt called after them. "It is to damn early for all of this. And leave the door open!" Yelling louder, Burt poured himself a cup of coffee, smiling into it.
Up the stairs, Finn laughed hard when Puck tackled him down onto the bed.
"I'm your little bitch? Me?" Puck straddled Finn's hips, grinding down into the other boy.
"Dude, I had my dick in your ass less than an hour ago so uh, yeah." Finn laughed at the sour look on Puck's face.
"I'll show you 'bitch'." Puck mumbled, already pulling his shirt off.
"Door open, door open!" Finn exclaimed.
"What's the matter, Hudson, not up for a quick fuck now that mommy and daddy know?"
"I don't, what, no!" Finn snapped, hating how hard he already was. "But not with the door open! Anyone could see!"
"Aw, but where's your sense of adventure? Live a little, Finn." Puck winked as he ground his hips down again.
"Oh, I hate you." Finn muttered, pulling at his shirt and tossing it to the floor.
"Yeah, no. You really don't." Puck laughed. "You really kinda love me."
Anything Finn could or would have said was cut off by the hard press of Puck's lips against his. He hated when his boyfriend was right but this time, Finn was pretty sure he could live with it.
End.
A/N: Just a quick little oneshot from Finn and Puck's point of view during the first chapter of 'Don't You Want Me...Baby?'. Hope you guys liked it. I know I had fun writing it. =)