No matter how many times Mari would drag her to one of her parties, Kanan would never get used to them. While the blonde walked around, shaking hands with man in expensive suits, always smiling, the bluenette just sat in one corner of the room, watching. Watching how young men who she bet never had to face any hardships in their lives (thanks to their dad's money) tried to flirt with a goddess that was Mari Ohara.
Not that Kanan was in any position to complain, seeing that Mari and her were nothing but friends. A fact that made her sick to her stomach whenever she thought about it.
Yeah, she is in love with Mari. Has been ever since the both of them started to turn from kids to women. But Kanan will never admit that out loud. Not in a million years. And her resolve to keep it her secret, probably until she dies, is strengthened with every party she got invited to.
For Kanan, seeing Mari like this means to see her where she truly belongs. Not just by birth and by the fact that she is the only heiress to the Ohara business. It is Mari herself and how she deals with everything that makes Kanan think that. But she also knows that she will never fit into this kind of life. So she tries to exclude herself from it. For Mari's sake and for her own, seeing that she truly dislikes most of this life style. She knows that she probably repeats a mistake she already did once. But this time her own anxiousness plays a major role in her behavior.
Further thoughts are interrupted when someone places a glass with what she is sure is alcohol in front of her.
"Just go and at least ask her out for a dance." Dia sits down beside Kanan, the same glass with the same liquid in hand. "This is the first party you accepted an invitation to in what? Six months? And now all you do is sitting here."
"You know I am not into this kind of stuff." Kanan takes the glass and swirls it around before she sips. Whiskey. "It's already strange that I started to like this stuff."
When Dia puts down her drink to support her upper body with her arms on the table to look straight at Kanan, she knows that the brunette is serious. "Ok, fine. Do it for Mari."
It isn't a question, it's a demand. Still, Kanan looks down, not meeting Dia's gaze. "It would look wrong and there'd be rumors. She doesn't need this." A weak excuse, she already knows.
"What she needs… is you." Kanan's eyes snap up the moment Dia says that, only to meet a face so serious she believes the older Kurosawa will murder her any second. "She notices, you know? She can be a fool, but she is not stupid. You've been creating space between you. The only question is why. And while I can think of a reason why, seeing that I deal with you guys for years by now, Mari can't. Because she is just as oblivious as you."
"I don't know what you're talking about." It's useless to deny it, Kanan knows. She still tries to run away.
"You love her." Dia says, as if it is the most obvious thing in the world. "You love her but you think that Mari being with you could harm her and her reputation. And I won't say that those worries are meaningless. Because they're not. And I get that you're not cut out for this. But do you think she'd care about any of this things?"
Is she that easy to read? Kanan doubts it, but Dia has been with her for forever now, so Dia reading her like a book is nothing special. "Even if that would be true… Mari doesn't love me the way I love her."
Dia groans.
"You guys will be the death of me." She leans forward, her gaze sharp. Kanan knows that Dia is not joking around and that she is deadly serious. "Listen, Matsuura. There are only two options how this could end up. First option: You keep this up, you ruin your relationship with Mari and one day, when she is marrying some dude, you'll be there, alone and full of regret."
"Dia, don't be so-"
"Second option." Dia doesn't even allow Kanan to protest. "You get your ass up, ask Mari out for a dance, save your relationship with her and maybe, just maybe, dozens of men will envy you because you got the girl, if you know what I mean."
"How many drinks did you have?" Kanan eyes Dia with raised eyebrows. The lack of formality told her that Dia already had quite the amount of shots.
"This is not about me." In one swift motion Dia gestures towards the dance floor.
To Kanan's shock the current topic of her argument with Dia is dancing with some guy wearing a white suite. Unfortunately he doesn't seem as idiotic as all the others and Mari herself looks as if she is enjoying herself.
"You know I am right." Dia's tone is softer now. "The one question you have to ask yourself now is if you can live your life without even trying."
At some point, after several minutes of silence, Dia had left the table. Some people took that as a chance to approach Kanan. It got so bad that she decided to leave the room.
Now she is standing outside, the place barely lit up by the light inside and lost in thought.
She knows that Dia is right. And even if she wishes for things to be easy, they aren't. Things are complicated.
The realization that she had feelings for her best friend, feelings that exceeded those one should have for a best friend, had hit her hard during their first year of high school. Ever since then Kanan had imagined countless what if's.
She was a simple girl. All she wanted was a peaceful life by the sea, maybe taking over the shop one day. That was enough.
Mari on the other hand… Luxury, a big business she would inherit someday, excitement. A life Kanan wasn't cut out for.
"There you are."
Kanan sighs, recognizing the voice in a heartbeat. So she turns around, hoping that her smile is concealed by the darkness. Mari doesn't need to see how strained it is.
"I was looking for you all over the place. Why are you here all alone?"
There is enough light for Kanan to see the worry though, the sadness.
"You know I don't like all that trouble. Needed to take a break." She says, and for once it is the truth.
Mari walks up to her, linking their arms and resting her head on Kanan's shoulder. "I know. I was glad when you said you'd be attending."
The gesture sends Kanan's heart into overdrive. That's just the effect Mari has on her. She is used to it by now and it is nothing she thinks of as unpleasant.
"Are you enjoying yourself?" Kanan asks due to a lack of potential topics to talk about.
Mari hums, her hand finding its way to Kanan's and she intertwines their fingers. "It's not bad. Did you see Dia? She'll regret her low tolerance in the morning."
The both of them chuckle at this before they become silent.
"I've missed you, though."
It's barely above a whisper but Kanan catches it nonetheless. She feels her heart clench and Dia's words from earlier keep replaying in her head. But with Mari staying this close to her and with Mari sounding so sad the question just changed.
When would Kanan stop lying to herself?
"Mari?" She feels the blonde shifting. "Can I ask you a question?"
"Sure. Anything."
It all comes down to courage and Kanan tries to gather as much as possible. But when she finally opens her mouth to tell Mari what is on her mind someone calls for the blonde, grabbing both their attentions.
"Miss Ohara! Your father wants you to meet one of his colleagues and requests your presence."
"Of course he does." Mari sighs, slowly detaching herself from Kanan. She misses the touch instantly. Before she walks back in she turns around, making sure that she locks her eyes with Kanan's. "Will you dance with me?"
Before Kanan gets the chance to answer, Mari is guided back inside, leaving her alone in the dark again.
Unfortunately Kanan doesn't get the chance to talk to Mari again or to dance with her. Not after someone dragged a barely conscious Dia over to her. So Kanan decided it was best to take her friend home and asked someone to inform Mari about their departure.
Now in Dia's home she helps the older Kurosawa to get ready for bed and to ease the hangover she'd certainly have in the morning by giving her some water. Dia always tended to overestimate her tolerance and drank way more alcohol than she probably should.
That doesn't stop her to be Kanan's cupid, though.
"Soooo…" She stretches the word way longer than it needs to be, her intoxication evident. "How did things go with Mari?"
Kanan sighs upon being reminded of how the evening turned out and looks at Dia, whose little adventure played a major role in how things ended. "It might have gone well if I hadn't had to take someone home."
Dia just hums, the fatigue taking over as she sways back and forth on her bed. Still, it isn't Dia's fault that Kanan can't seem to get anything right when Mari is involved. She is the only one to blame.
It's that moment that her phone buzzes and Kanan knows there is only one person contacting her right now. She dreads opening the message, but still unlocks her screen.
Mari: Take care of Dia.
That's all. No emote, no jokes, just a plain sentence. It's so unlike Mari that Kanan frowns, the words Dia told her earlier that night resounding in her head – Mari notices.
Kanan tends to Dia until she is fast asleep and places a glass of water and some aspirin on the table beside her bed before she takes her coat and gets ready to leave.
Once she is back on Awashima island she stops for a moment, contemplating if it would be best to deal with things in the morning.
Kanan shakes her head and walks of into the opposite direction of her home, her destination a certain hotel not too far away.
Mari sighs, hiding her face with the pillow she is hugging tightly.
This is not how she thought things would turn out after she started to take some more responsibility in her family's business. When her father had approached her with the idea to gather some experience she had been able to talk him into allowing her to manage the Awashima hotel.
Her true intention was definitely not to stay close to her friends, to stay close to one in particular.
And of all people it would be that person who would gradually drift further and further away.
"Stupid Kanan…"
"Say that again."
Mari jumps up from her spot on her bed with a squeal, her eyes darting to the door.
"…Kanan?" There she is, the subject of Mari's worries, casually leaning on the door frame and watching her in all her currently non existing glory. Mari is sure her makeup is all over her face except the places where it should be and she had traded her dress for a loose shirt that may have been Kanan's once.
"Dia is fast asleep but will probably wake up with an exploding head." She walks over to Mari who is still just watching until she is right in front of her. Stretching out her hand for Mari to take it, Kanan looks away to hide her blush.
"What are you doing here?" Mari's voice is barely above a whisper as she watches Kanan. She is confused. This is the last thing she had expected.
"Did you forget already?" Kanan says, finally looking at the blonde. "You asked me to dance with you, didn't you?"
Mari opens and closes her mouth without actually saying anything, her mind blank.
"Mari? I don't think I can keep my arm outstretched any longer."
So she takes it, but the minute her feet make contact with the ground she flings herself at Kanan who stumbles backwards. They almost fall down on the floor but Kanan manages to keep them up.
"Stupid, stupid, Kanan!" All the anger and sadness that she bottled up over the past few months comes rushing back and Mari punches her friends shoulder while she starts crying on the other.
Kanan hugs her tight, the effects of her doings now visible. She has never felt as terrible as she feels now. "I'm sorry." She says, and it is all that she can say.
Minutes pass like that until Kanan gathers her courage again, for a second time. "I… wanted to ask something, right?"
"Ok, go ahead." Mari backs away a little but keeps contact.
Kanan on the other hand can't contain herself and wipes away the tears on Mari's face with her thumbs. She always hated seeing Mari cry.
"Do you think… do you think that it is possible for two people who live completely different lives to be… to just be together?"
Mari smiles slightly, having an idea where this is going. "Depends of what kind of lives they are living."
"Uhm…"
No matter how often she sees it, Mari would never grow tired of Kanan's flustered face.
"I mean…" Kanan tries to come up with a way to explain without revealing who she is talking about. "You know… one is just plain simple, while the others is special. Extravagant maybe?"
"You're stupid, you know?"
"Mari, can you take me serious for once, plea-" Kanan is cut short by a pair of lips on her own.
The movement is so sudden that she needs a moment to process what's happening. When she does she relaxes into the kiss, closing her eyes and taking Mari's hands in her own. She guides them up and drapes them around her neck before she wraps her arms around Mari's waist to pull the other girl closer.
The moment is over way too soon to Kanan's liking as Mari pulls away, her face colored in a deep shade of red. She leans forward and connects her forehead with the blonde's, smiling.
"I am sorry."
"You better be, you thickheaded old fool."
Kanan chuckles at the insult. "You haven't answered yet."
"I think… we'll just have to figure it out." She leans closer, her lips ghosting over Kanan's. "Together."
"Together sounds good to me." Kanan says before closing the gap again.
AN:
Thank you for reading this till the end.
I hope you enjoyed that little story. See you guys soon. :)