For The Love of Spandex
Written by Bridget and Sara
Two years after Mary Jane's supposed death.....
Playing the violin on a cold winter's night in the middle of New York city, the violin woman suddenly looked up and saw a masked man staring at her from the top of the building above her. His buggy eyes bored deep into hers and she felt the stirrings of love in her heart.
Then reality struck her.
Spiderman truly could not be interested in her, a mere violin-playing Asian woman. But still her heart yearned for Spiderman's touch on her moderately-hairy arm. Her unrequited love was driving her to a dangerous state of passion. Just this one glance from Spiderman inspired a forbidden relationship, she knew she couldn't have.
A Couple Days Later (At the Violin Store)
After wandering the streets of New York for many days in search of her one true love, Spiderman, she finally came to terms with herself. Spiderman was a well-worshipped hero around these parts, and she was just a poor artist playing the songs she dedicated to her beloved hero. She couldn't take the onslaught of pain she faced each morning when she couldn't look into his eyes. Oftentimes while at the local café, Je Suis de Voy, she would find herself doodling his face on napkins remembering something that once was,and pretending to be wrapped in his tight embrace. She even threw herself in front of the charging New York taxi cabs in hopes of being saved by the blue-and-red masked menace that turned her on.
A Couple Weeks Later (Talking to Her Friend Misuko)
"Misuko, do you ever wonder about catching the man that sets your heart aflame?" the violin woman inquired as she ate her rice from Happy Panda.
Misuko looked up. "What you talk about, 'man setting heart aflame?' Do you mean have I ever wanted to catch my crush?...You know George Clooneys' out of league for my love ball park."
Violin woman protested, "No, Misuko, REALLY."
Misuko looked thoughtful. "Well, my young swatted fly...have you ever seen "Cheetah Girls" on the Disney channel?"
"Yes, Misuko, at least a hundred times."
"At the end, Raven gets kissed by her dream man, which she thought impossible. Do you mean like that?"
"No, Misuko. That was a cheesy crap made-for-TV movie. I am a real woman in a real world, not a Disney channel special. I have real feelings that get hurt and stepped on like the swatted fly I am."
"Yes indeed, a swatted fly."
Violin woman shook her head. "You insult me, you fatted cow."
"Are you racist?"
"Only when it comes to you, my precious odiferous turd."
"That's it. I listen to your crazy Americanized dreams of love and what do you call me? A TURD?" Misuko grimaced.
Violin woman left the table, disgusted and repulsed, leaving Misuko with her cries of, "You forgot to pay the check! You Asian trash!"
She walked out the door in a bustle and did not realize the oncoming Wonder bread truck was headed straight for her. As she looked into the blaring red headlights of the truck screaming her black hair off (because everyone does that in Spiderman movies), she had time for only thought: If only I'd told Spiderman how I'd felt...
She was killed instantly.
A Couple Days Later (At Her Grave Site)
Spiderman was making the rounds to the funerals of the people he forgot to save when he made the last stop at violin woman's service. He looked down at the grave and felt his heart wrench with complete and utter terror. For there, written in stone, was a quote that made his stomach churn: Only as a temporary disguise to hid from the villains that chased her; to stay alive for her one true love she strived. Violin woman was just the
mask; MJ lied inside her. And below this disturbing quote, there were the dates which he to this day fears the most:
1984-2004
Mary Jane Watson.( aka Violin Woman)
The thought echoed in his head: How was I supposed to know that the object in front of the wonder bread truck was my true love and not an oversized fortune cookie?