Saving Me
Black-Angel-001: yes, this is the sequal to 'Acts of Desperate Men', and before we begin, there are a few things i think you should know.
Warnings: Extreme mention of drug use/abuse, both past and present, to include alchoholism. Violence, deciet, trickery, angnst, drama, emotional truama and pain ahead. Also theivery. Use caution when reading, as it is mature in nature.
Disclaimers: This is a work of fanfiction and anything expressed here is completely from my derainged imagination. I don't own Emergency or anything related to it. I am not a medical proffessional; all medical information/reference will be researched to the best of my ability. If there is a problem, please tell me. I am not a lawyer; all legal information/reference will be researched and what I've learned in classes. If there is a problem, please tell me.
Black-Angel-001: now that all the legal stuff's out of the way, let's get started!
Saving Me
"If everyone cared and nobody cried, if everyone loved and nobody lied, if everyone shared and swallowed their pride, then we'd see the day when nobody died." -- Nickleback, 'If Everyone Cared'
Paramedic John Gage walked out of Rampart General Hospital with his head hanging low and his heart heavy. In the last two weeks, he and his partner had been on over a dozen runs and on nearly every one they had lost the patient. They had lost them before, but this was different. This time around it was nearly every shift, nearly every run, someone was dieing right under their hands. It hurt to loose them, and it hurt even more to know that no matter what you did, could do, or would've done, they still would have died. Roy had told him that the first time, and the second time, even the third time, but after that, he stopped saying it. Maybe he figured saying it was bringing bad luck, or maybe he was tired of saying.
Maybe he just plain didn't believe it anymore.
John looked up at the sky, clear and blue and beautiful. The wind blew hard and cold and he shivered but didn't pull his jacket tighter around him. Instead he went to the squad and leaned against it, hands in his pockets.
"Johnny."
He raised his eyes to his partner, who had his own mixed expressions showing on his face. He hoped Roy wasn't about to give a pep talk, because he really didn't need it right then. He just wanted to go back to the station, eat lunch, and crawl under his bed until the next run, or, preferably, the next shift.
Whatever Roy may have said was lost on a sigh and shake of the head. "Never mind. C'mon." They climbed into the squad and drove to the station in silence.
The whole crew noticed their quiet and somber demenor when they came in, and knew what was causing it. They didn't try to say anything encouraging, or make a joke, but just put their lunch out for them and quietly went back to what they were doing before.
The silence was killing Roy. He wasn't used to a firehouse being so quiet, especially with this crew, and it just wasn't something that made him feel better. He needed a distraction, something to make him feel lighter so when he thought about it later, he could deal. With a sharp pull of his heart, he felt the loss of his wife again. He used to talk about bad runs with her, and it helped him get through. Now, he had no one to talk to about it, besides himself. He snuck a glance at his partner. Johnny was picking at his food, staring at some spot on the table. Roy knew Johnny needed the silence to think things out, because if he got distracted he'd never deal with it properly. But Roy wanted noise of some kind in the background.
Lord, why did it have to be so bad these past few weeks?
God remained silent.
When the klaxons went off, Roy actually sighed in relief. Johnny shot him a look that he didn't catch in time to decipher, but he had a good idea what it was for. Why was he so happy about going on a run to a burning building when the dark cloud of death was hanging so heavily over their heads?
Through the entire ride, both of them prayed that they would all make it home.
The building was fully involved when they got there, firefighters already trying to get it under control while police kept the civillians back. Roy pulled the squad up a ways ahead of the rig and Mike drove on ahead, hose trailing behind.
Everyone was put to work on getting the fire out, leaving no time to think beyond their orders. A flash went through the old apartment building, knocking men to the ground. Without really knowing he was doing it, Johnny sprinted to the men, ignoring or not hearing the calls of Roy and Kelly behind him. A second flash exploded out of windows and doors, stronger than the last one. Johnny felt himself lift off the pavement and actually thought everything had paused before he hit the ground, hard. He didn't hear the snap of bone, but he felt it.
Roy crouched when the second flash roared to the firemen near the building, and looked up just in time to see his partner hit the road, bounce once, then lay still, moving his arms and a leg weakly. With Kelly and Marco just inches behind him, he ran to Johnny, thinking the worst but hoping for something different.
His ears were ringing, his vision was hazy. Someone was leaning over him, but he couldn't focus long enough to figure out who. Something touched his foot and he made a sound. He was lifted and for a minute he thought there had been another flash, but then the touch of hands registered. Slowly, his hearing and vision cleared until he could make out the still fuzzy image of his partner.
"Johnny? Johnny, can you hear me? C'mon, junior, focus on me," Roy said calmly. He didn't feel calm, he felt like reading his partner the riot act and shaking him till his teeth rattled. What the hell was the brilliant idea behind that bone headed stunt? Johnny blinked slowly, his eyes wavering between Roy and somewhere over Roy's shoulder.
"Gage, look at me," DeSoto said firmly and with all the authority he had in him. Johnny responded to it. Roy didn't think he had a concussion, since he pupils weren't dialated and reacted normally, but he did believe that Johnny was stunned. To his right, Kelly was setting up the biophone and Marco was pulling out the BP cuff and stethascope.
"Hey, lemme up," Johnny said weakly, swatting at Roy and Marco. "I don't need all that stuff." He pushed himself up on one elbow only to be pushed back down by Roy.
"Johnny, you were picked up at least two feet off the ground, you're hurt, and you're going to Rampart, so just get quiet and relax, will ya?"
"I am not hurt," protested Johnny, a little stronger now. "And how can I relax when you've got Chet doing a Dr. Jeckell Mr. Hyde impersination on me?"
Chet did a dark laugh that only made Johnny frown and squirm. Roy pushed his shoulders back down then casually went to his left ankle and pressed on it gently. Johnny flinched back and yelped.
"Not hurt, huh?"
"J-just a scratch," he panted through the pain. Roy probed again, this time more for medical purposes than proving a point purposes.
"A scratch? Your ankles broken, fractured at the least."
Johnny groaned and put an arm over his eyes. "No, it isn't." Maybe if he kept telling himself that it would be true?
"Johnny," warned Roy, grabbing the splint.
"I've had worse," he muttered. Except for the tiniest sounds of pain when Roy splinted his ankle and they put him on the gurney, Johnny didn't say anything else. Only when they were in the ambulance and five minutes away did he start talking.
"Hey, Roy, what happened to the other guys?"
"Martin said that the worst was some glass stuck in a guy, some minor burns." Roy didn't tell him that the glass had hit an artery and the man had been bleeding badly and was going deeper into shock by the time they put him on the ambulance. Satisfied with that, Johnny nodded and leaned back again.
It was the usual routine when they got to Rampart. Early checked his head, palpaited his abdomen, checked for broken bones everywhere else, then started poking and proding his ankle. By the end of it, Johnny was ready to scream, cry, and break Early's ankle just to see how he liked it when someone did that to him. The x-ray tech came in, and Early and Roy went out, talking and chuckling.
Finally, the tech was leaving and the door pushed open to reveal Roy, Brackett, and Dixie just outside the doorway.
"Doc, how's that fireman that came in? The one with the major bleeding," asked Roy, not thinking about Johnny being able to hear.
Brackett paused, still holding the door open, and shook his head. "I'm sorry, Roy. He didn't make it. Just too much blood loss."
Roy's eyes widened just a fraction before they lowered. He raised them again and saw Johnny sitting up and staring at them, his own eyes big and wide in his face. The look he gave Roy was a little discortning.
Black-Angel-001: so, this is the big setup. more to come!